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Pythia

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I’ve been lurking for a while and now I am ready to post my first message.

I have a (silly) question about "ILY". Why is “ILY” being used so common in deaf community? I met a deaf lady in Arlington, Virginia and after getting know her a little better, she signed “ILY” when we were saying goodbye to each other. Mind you, I’m deaf, too, but I do not say "ILY" to anyone except my families or my boyfriend. I noticed that some of AD members use ILY, too. So, care to elaborate?
 
ILY is same as signing _\,,/ and is a Deaf thing to do. ;)

But I know what you mean. I don't sign ILY to other people who I don't know well. I only do that to my close friends and family, or when I go home after hanging out with a bunch of Deafies.
 
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Pythia said:
I’ve been lurking for a while and now I am ready to post my first message.

I have a (silly) question about "ILY". Why is “ILY” being used so common in deaf community? I met a deaf lady in Arlington, Virginia and after getting know her a little better, she signed “ILY” when we were saying goodbye to each other. Mind you, I’m deaf, too, but I do not say "ILY" to anyone except my families or my boyfriend. I noticed that some of AD members use ILY, too. So, care to elaborate?
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ILY stands for I Love You ;)(i think so...) i forgot where that internet lingo website address was. will have to find that site out and show it to ya if i can, or maybe somebody else here knows it.

**EDIT** well i guess not.. but it matched, but...
 
Wow, fast responses! <bg> I knew what ILY stands for, but why do deaf people use it a lot? Why do they say "ILY" to people they barely know?
 
In my opinion, the "ILY" (I Love You) sign coming from a deaf person is a "V" (peace) sign coming from a hearing person. It's like a fad that will eventually go away, I hope. :fingersx:

(no offense to my deaf people)
 
I never really say "ILY" to my friends. Instead, I just hug them goodbye and then go on my way or whatever. I agree that it seems weird when people wave "ILY" to me, and it makes me feel forced to return the same back to them. I'd rather hug them or kiss them on the cheeks (the ones on the face, mind you...)
 
<VBG> Sometimes I feel like I am not a part of deaf community because I could not say ILY to anyone easily. I sometimes feel like I am an outsider when I meet deaf people. They talk in ASL and I'd stand there smiling at them and pretend I understood what they were saying. In fact, I haven't made new friends with deaf people in a long time. Sad, huh? Perhaps, this forum will help me to interact with some deaf people in the near future. ;D
 
Most important of all: Just be yourself
(no need to feel obligate to sign ILY)

Just a few friends with quality is much better
than a large number of friends.

Interact with deafies on this net is cool,
but it's not quite the same as
interact with them in person.
 
Doesn't bother me about "ILY" sign as good bye.. I used to be saying ILY to anyone Deafies and my deafies peepies...
Meaning ILY as peace.. I love you always my buddy or whatever.. still as part of Deaf FAMILY as groupies.. Is harm you feel isn't right thing being "ILY" for you.. I understand that your point view.. Your decision not theirs.

Still warming saying ILY to deafies as stranger or closest buddy or whatever depend on...

I do hugz my deafies peepies then say ILY good bye *vanished left* Feel happy inside emotions.. that's all expression your feelings.. important that feel secure your friends...
That's all.. (hmmmmmmmm)
:ily: as same :cuddle: or :grouphug: Still counts. :)
 
Yes, it does bother me a lot when people would sign 'ILY' I have never tried that to anyone other than my parents, girlfriend and closest relatives.

I guess that is a culture thing?
 
got a hawaiian gal here that says that all the time and i finally said no offense but i dont know u well and i dont feel comfy for you to say ILY to me, when im not close enuff to you, the best thing we can do is just say bye and leave it at that cuz saying ILY only should be with relative and or close friends. And no i don t feel like an outsider cuz outsiders are just as ingorant as the poeple inculded, since then that gal was respecting my wishes but her husband balwd me out im like wtf? I said excuse me, the issue is this, I dont feel comfy when someone says ILY when i don't know them barely by one day it just feels uncomfy all i ask is respect!
since then they been cold towards me, and others as well has finally outright told her not to say that to newcomers YET cuz its inapporiate, and now shes the president of the club and im the vice president! jeez huh?

She and i came to an agreement not to talk personal conflicts at events.
 
Yeah, I agree with Alex in that the ILY sign doesn't always mean "I love you", per se; it has several connotations which differs from situation to situation and can mean things like "good bye", "see ya around", etc, etc. Personally, the only time/person I use it with is my wife and we mean "I love you", literally....kinda like the Spanish expression, "Vaya Con Dios" which literally means "Go With God" but in its daily, informal usage, it means "See ya", "Bye", "Take care", etc, etc......
 
Tousi said:
Yeah, I agree with Alex in that the ILY sign doesn't always mean "I love you", per se; it has several connotations which differs from situation to situation and can mean things like "good bye", "see ya around", etc, etc. Personally, the only time/person I use it with is my wife and we mean "I love you", literally....kinda like the Spanish expression, "Vaya Con Dios" which literally means "Go With God" but in its daily, informal usage, it means "See ya", "Bye", "Take care", etc, etc......
Click to expand...

I second that.....I always sign ILY to my closest and cherishable cousin, my boyfriend and my few close buddies and of course my cat, like she'll understand me lol but she can sense it anyways:)
 
Some of your posts are super funny! I do not feel obligated to say "ILY", I thought it was a part of deaf culture. I am ignorant about the deaf culture, which makes me feel like an outsider.

I agree that the quantity does not count. I have many hearing friends that I'm blessed to have. I have three deaf friends that I hardly keep in touch with anymore and they live in the same city as I do. We did not make an effort to keep in touch with each other.

Interacting with people online can be wonderful experience for some people. Some people would make a bash for the online members to meet each other offline.
 
I rarely sign ILY to my friends or those I don't really know.

One thing that bothers me about the common usage of ILY in deaf culture is that it makes me wonder how one knows that in a relationship the partner isn't signing it just because it's common or if they really really did love you?

I'm just imaging a scenario where a deaf guy would propose to me and signs ILY (even when he often uses it from the very beginning), it would throw me off and I might think "Umm, since when did you really express your true love?"

I may be anal about it, I really have no problems with others signing ILY to me, even if they're just friends... but I do have a problem with it when I'm trying to get into a deeper/serious relationship...

What do you think? How does a deaf person really describe/sign their true desires instead of using the over-used ILY sign? (I'm sort of inexperienced in dating deaf guys)
 
I usually don't say ILY to anyone except my children, my family and my bestfriend, Bookwormet.. :ily: Bookwormet!! :slap:

I don't think a person should say ILY if they aren't comfortable and they definitely have a right to speak up if they are uncomfortable with others saying it to them. Not everyone uses the peace sign so why should everyone say ILY?

Just my honest opinion!
 
BabyPhat21 said:
yeah i feel weird when (deaf) guys say it to me.......
Click to expand...
well then let me say this... :ily: cuz I see that on your icon too lol
 
ily back Butterflygal! .. I usually use this ily to my bestfriend, :slap: , family and my children as well... I dont use ily to stranger and not even if I dont know that person well enough...I m not at all comfortable doing it to those strangers :slap:
 
I don't use the ILY sign to friends.. only very close friends, my hubby and of course my kids ;) I wouldnt use ILY sign to those i barely know.. not comfortable at all.
 
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