I think I want to stop using my voice. Opinions?

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SilentColors

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Hello,

I lost my hearing when I was 16. I’m now almost 19. I’ve had hearing aids since then but they seem like they aren’t working as well anymore. My doctors said I may lose my hearing completely one day, so I believe this is just the process of that happening. Most of the people that I meet have absolutely no idea that I’m deaf/HOH because I communicate so well. I lip read very well, and my hearing aids have helped me very much up until these last few months. Ironically, I’ve known ASL almost all my life and I’ve actually always preferred using this method of communication over speaking, even when I was hearing.

Basically, my question is how do you decide if and when to stop using your voice? Is it bad to stop talking even if I have some hearing left, and when I lose all of my hearing, is it still bad? I also have a few medical issues and talking has ALWAYS worn me out. My boyfriend noticed the other day that when I didn’t talk the entire day (he’s learning sign and wanted me to take my aids out and not use my voice for the day to force him to learn) that I had a higher energy level. So, would it be considered ‘rude’ or something to decide to just stop talking when people know I can talk. I know it’s a personal choice, but is it a choice out of hating talking or a choice for other reasons? I was also curious, now that I can’t really understand what people are saying, especially when I do lose the rest of my hearing, am I going to forget how to talk if I need to someday? If I don’t stop talking it seems like I would be able to talk just fine, but if I stop and just one day need to will I have forgotten how to pronounce words?

I apologize for the length of this and my lack of knowledge on this topic. I just don’t want to hurt anyone around me if I decide to stop talking, and I’m not sure if it’s weird to just stop talking all of the sudden when I physically can, I just don’t care to.

For anyone who became deaf later in life, did you stop talking instantly, gradually, or continued to talk just as before?

Thank you so much in advance to anyone who may have any ideas or opinions about this.
-Kali
 
yap away

this issue has come up recently on a different thread. i would encourage you to keep using your voice. if you stop using your voice then you cut off a form of communication. since 90% (guesstimate) of the world depends on oral communication you would be cutting yourself off from a large percentage of people. i became deaf at 11 and just kept talking. i sign with deaf people but since most of my day is with hearing people i use my voice. in a way you are lucky to be able to talk with a hearing loss. as you get older you will find yourself glad you still can talk. you can keep your voice tuned up by seeing a speech therapist. i had a speech therapist when i first became deaf so i could train my voice and that carried over for my lifetime. i am stone deaf now and have not heard my voice for eons.
the speech therapist will probably help you relax more also with your use of your voice. i had a hard time adjusting my voice but with training in the first couple years it became easier.
 
Hey, welcome to AD.
It's a personal choice if you want to stop using your voice. I grew up HOH and am deaf now, but I use my voice all the time (I also sign, but not fluently). I talk to people who will look at me when they speak, uncover their mouths, etc. Basically people who know what I need. Others I might speak to if it's something quick and if I know I'll likely be able to understand them (quiet environment or what have you). I don't think I'll ever completely stop speaking, but as time goes on, it's harder for me to tell how loud I am and such.

I don't think you'll "forget" how to pronounce words or forget how to talk, but I have heard of some late deafened people slurring their words slightly or talking loudly/quietly, that kind of thing. I've never really heard of someone who just forgot how to talk. If it's something you've been doing for a long time--which you have--then I doubt you'll lose a lot of it. If you happen to lose the rest of your hearing, then maybe one day your speech might not be as clear, but no one can predict what will happen.

Like I said, I've grown up HOH, but I suppose I might qualify as "late deafened." I have not stop talking, and I don't think I ever will. I might reduce the amount later if I don't feel comfortable with it, or people tell me they can't understand me or something, but it's up to me if I don't feel like talking in a certain situation.

To be honest, I think most ADers who are late deafened or just oral deaf here use their voices in specific situations. That's just what I'm guessing--like I use my voice around friends and family, but ordering over a counter I do with pen and paper. It's not just a matter of using your voice for some people, but also a matter of if the person replies to you with speech. I can't understand speech all that well, even though I can lipread quite well, and that's why I use the pen and paper--so the person I'm writing it to will write back instead of talking.

It's really up to you, I'm just telling you what I do, and what I think a lot of ADers do.

Again, welcome to AD, post an introduction for us!
 
Ive been deaf all my life - I don't even use my voice at all anymore. It doesnt bother me. It's all personal preferences though.
 
I lost my hearing (all of it) 4 years ago. I still speak for the most part since I am a basic ASL user, not much at all. I do find that I am beginning to forget how to pronounce some words. This does not happen to many people at all. I spoke with someone today at my local Deaf Service Center and they said that a small percentage of people tend to do that. Especially those who get stressed easily or have a lot going on. That's me in a nutshell.

I do understand what you are going through. I have been there with the knowledge that eventually I would lose all my hearing. It's almost like preparing yourself for it, so that when it happens, it's not quite so bad. Keep in mind, that if you go through the stages of grief like when someone dies, it's kind of the same thing. You may go through sadness, anger and whatnot, but eventually, it will get better and easier to handle.
 
"Hey, I like my voice!" I'm proud of it. It's unique, it's mine, I like it. I think I'll use it! - Dr. Brenda Brueggemann. Sept 1, 2010.
 
kokonut said:
"Hey, I like my voice!" I'm proud of it. It's unique, it's mine, I like it. I think I'll use it! - Dr. Brenda Brueggemann. Sept 1, 2010.
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Interesting quote. Where did you get it? And it's from only two days ago? Was there a conference recently? I know of BJB and have read some of her stuff.
 
Became totally deaf at age 14...but I would never think of not using my voice, even when I sign....It makes life somewhat easier especially communicating with hearies, which I do on a daily basis....
 
No , you don't have to use it especially if you can't hear yourself that make you lose confidence if you are even pronouncing the words correctly or controlling your voice properly. It is your choice. You might end up using it here and there though.

kokonuts, your voice is yours, true, but talking to front of bunch of deaf people, except a few with alot of residential hearing with hearing aids, hearing, and interpreters, are not going to appreciate her unique voice if they can't hear her, They would be watching the interpreter instead.
 
I wouldn't stop; it is something to fall back on when the need/occasion arises.
 
btw, if you are concern about losing your speech as a reason why you debating if you should stop talking or not, then maybe you should continue to talk. To me, that tells me that you still like using your voice. people who choose to stop talking are not concern about losing their speech. Like myself.
 
deafgal001 said:
No , you don't have to use it especially if you can't hear yourself that make you lose confidence if you are even pronouncing the words correctly or controlling your voice properly. It is your choice. You might end up using it here and there though.

kokonuts, your voice is yours, true, but talking to front of bunch of deaf people, except a few with alot of residential hearing with hearing aids and hearing interpreters, are not going to appreciate her unique voice if they can't hear her, They would be watching the interpreter instead.
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There's a choice there.
 
I notice it is usually post lingually deafened people who come in here with that ambition.

People who had to work to learn to speak value it.

I don't get why either. Is it supposed to make you more cool or something?
 
Tough choice

Personally, I would not want to stop using my voice. In my profession, I need to be able to. I've been deaf since birth (I have roughly 15% hearing without hearing aids) and I was taught to speak starting at a very early age. I never learned ASL. Like you, most people cannot tell through my speech that I cannot hear. Since this is what I have known for 40 years...not being able to hear but being able to talk...I can't see changing it now. I do wear hearing aids but recently, have suffered an even further loss which has put me on the hunt for even more powerful hearing aids.

Since the vast majority of people do not know ASL, being able to speak when deaf is a gift. You would not always have an interpreter available and you would need to be able to talk if needed. Stick to ASL in the situtations where you can use it but maintain your speaking ability for situations when you need it.

It's a choice only you can make. Good luck with it.
 
It should be your personal preference. What makes you feel the most comfortable, go with it..whether it is not using your voice or still continue with it. All day, at my job, I rarely use my voice but at home, I do because my hearing husband's receptive ASL skills arent that great. I dont use my voice with my hearing son as he is fluent in ASL.

When I go out in public, sometimes I use it..sometimes I dont and use pen and paper instead. Depends on my mood.
 
Bottesini said:
I notice it is usually post lingually deafened people who come in here with that ambition.

People who had to work to learn to speak value it.

I don't get why either. Is it supposed to make you more cool or something?
Click to expand...

Interesting question.

I have never thought it made me more cool. If anything, more dorky :lol: because my voice doesn't sound totally hearing, but close, I guess.

I just find it a lot quicker (note, I'm not saying "easier") to use my voice when conversing with hearing people.

I guess I am not one bit sorry that I took speech therapy all my school years - I didn't love or hate it, but feel it did me some good.

Still an interesting question :)
 
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