I Refuse

i can so relate to you in so many ways just my thing is i dont stand up i just talk at home and sign at school.
 
shel90 said:
As for expecting deaf people to "speak" to u what they r signing, do u realize that there are so many of us who struggle with our speech skills or don't have any at all?
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This is something that causes me to really think about things... my son is just learning 'language' mostly sounds because he's so young and theyre natural sounds babies his age make... and I've heard... he doesn't 'sound' deaf... well no not at his age- but he also can't tell you "eat, bottle, momma, etc".

I don't want to be a parent that 'forces' him into a hearing world-- granted he's got about 50% hearing in one ear (and 0 in the other) and he MIGHT be able to be vocal-- I want him to choose. Right now he goes to an oral intensive school but it's because they do help me w/his hearing aids and the care of his little ears... (help keep an eye on infection, etc) and it's a small school.. but they do not teach signing or really encourage it-- but what if after kindergarten he chooses to live his life as 'deaf' and not 'deaf in a hearing world'...

How do I give him the choice now?? I'm working on learning more and more ASL-- (I know some from teaching preschool years ago)

THANK YOU for this perspective!!! I know a lot of us 'hearies' don't take some of this stuff into consideration-- so I'm trying to take it all in so I can help my son as he ages and hopefully make the right choices.

(shoot, I guess I'm an odd one, I prefer texting and email to bein stuck on the phone w/someone LOL so that part would be SO easy for me!!)
 
JMackay said:
A momma will go far with a good attitude. :) :ty:
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Thanks!! :ty: Appreciate the encouragement!! This is something I've been struggling with since the last time I was with him at his Speech Therapy lesson... and they explained that by 'watching my hands he wasn't focusing on hearing' Then reading how some older 'kids' felt it really hit home... a lot to think about in the next couple years!
 
good attitute :)
A momma will go far with a good attitude.

I second that, how about a total communication school? - they use a mixture of methods to help to maximise the child's potiential in various means of communication - it could be ASL, BSL, Oralism or Cuem or some other methods.

I went to a total communication school and found signing really helped me to make sense of things and translate that to speech. I come from an oralism background as my parents refused to learn sign language and do feel for you guys. I didn't realise how much of a raw point it hit me whilst reading this. I have a good relationship with my parents but they really suck at helping me understand conversations so whenever a social comes up, I'm only there briefly and then make my excuses. My sister doesn't even help either. I have one or two really good hearing friends who are sympathetic and will endeavour to keep me informed of whats going on.

I'm pleased that I have a good managerial job with a good company that's deaf aware and I have not had the need to ask for an interpreter or notetaker in meetings as they've always made some concessions for me to partake in. I'm profoundly deaf and my speech is passable.
 
Fumasivil said:
good attitute :)
A momma will go far with a good attitude.

I second that, how about a total communication school? - they use a mixture of methods to help to maximise the child's potiential in various means of communication - it could be ASL, BSL, Oralism or Cuem or some other methods.
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I'm starting to look into different schools... even in other states (I'll move if I have to to get him what HE needs)-- this is the only school in the state that has a 'daycare' program geared toward littles like my son, most start at 'preschool'-- my son has other medical issues, non are 'bad' but he has the potential for some learning disabilties and such so I want to make sure the school I choose can handle the whole student...

I'm glad I stumbled across this site~~ I'm learning so much from a new perspective!!!

THANK YOU :ty:
 
Adamsmomma said:
I'm starting to look into different schools... even in other states (I'll move if I have to to get him what HE needs)-- this is the only school in the state that has a 'daycare' program geared toward littles like my son, most start at 'preschool'-- my son has other medical issues, non are 'bad' but he has the potential for some learning disabilties and such so I want to make sure the school I choose can handle the whole student...

I'm glad I stumbled across this site~~ I'm learning so much from a new perspective!!!

THANK YOU :ty:
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How old is your son? 3? 4?
 
:)

Adamsmomma said:
Thanks!! :ty: Appreciate the encouragement!! This is something I've been struggling with since the last time I was with him at his Speech Therapy lesson... and they explained that by 'watching my hands he wasn't focusing on hearing' Then reading how some older 'kids' felt it really hit home... a lot to think about in the next couple years!
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Letting him choose is what I think is great-I know an adult woman whose mom sent her to oral school. I was taking my sign classes back in the '90's and she got a little defensive about oral stuff... Not saying it's bad, but being forced to do something to please momma and poppa is not going to make a happy kid... Happy kids have good relationships.

My mom tried to push me to learn to swim and I was terrified of water. Her efforts only made it worse... "Ready, down, under" method didn't work! My dad hired a life guard when I was 12 to teach me to swim. I would only trust her AFTER I watched her rescue someone from the bottom of a 16 ft Olympic size pool at the big university in Bakersfield, CA. :) My other swim teachers freaked me out being too pushy!

Patience is a virtue is a true saying. :) I did learn to swim. I don't enjoy it much, but I can do it. I made myself take a swim class again in college. That deep pool still looked daunting, but not as terrifying as it did when I was 12! :laugh2:
 
JMackay said:
Letting him choose is what I think is great-I know an adult woman whose mom sent her to oral school. I was taking my sign classes back in the '90's and she got a little defensive about oral stuff... Not saying it's bad, but being forced to do something to please momma and poppa is not going to make a happy kid... Happy kids have good relationships.

My mom tried to push me to learn to swim and I was terrified of water. Her efforts only made it worse... "Ready, down, under" method didn't work! My dad hired a life guard when I was 12 to teach me to swim. I would only trust her AFTER I watched her rescue someone from the bottom of a 16 ft Olympic size pool at the big university in Bakersfield, CA. :) My other swim teachers freaked me out being too pushy!

Patience is a virtue is a true saying. :) I did learn to swim. I don't enjoy it much, but I can do it. I made myself take a swim class again in college. That deep pool still looked daunting, but not as terrifying as it did when I was 12! :laugh2:
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Oh bless your heart... I know how to swim but not well and can't imagine being forced to learn! That would be scary!!

Yeah I don't want Adam to resent me when he's even just a little older if I 'make' him do one or the other-- so I'm working on signing w/him and he still gets Speech Therapy and I still TALK to him... just trying to expose him to everything I can right now...
 
The truth is, you can't simply wait for him to tell you..."this is what I want." Especially since the window of language acquistion is wide open between birth and age 4...after age 4, the window starts to close. That's why it is so critical that parents are fully informed of what options are available, and what best suits the needs of their children.

I can only relate to my personal experiences and try to pinpoint that speech is NOT language. That's a very crucial point that many professionals in the field of deafness fail to make or distinguish for parents. Parents simply want to communicate with their own children and it is only natural they want that communication to happen in the same comfortable, familiar mode they have been using...yet...
sometimes we as parents have to adjust and make the best of the situation as much as possible.

Do I blame my parents? No. They were doing what they thought was best for me. They were ill-formed (if at all) on many things. However, they are still to be held accountable for not doing their research and finding out more information.

Speech isn't everything. If a child doesn't acquire good speech, s/he will still be able to have a full, fulfilling life. Language, on the other hand, is everything. That's the key to a successful life.

I hope I'm making sense.
 
deafbajagal said:
The truth is, you can't simply wait for him to tell you..."this is what I want." Especially since the window of language acquistion is wide open between birth and age 4...after age 4, the window starts to close. That's why it is so critical that parents are fully informed of what options are available, and what best suits the needs of their children.

I can only relate to my personal experiences and try to pinpoint that speech is NOT language. That's a very crucial point that many professionals in the field of deafness fail to make or distinguish for parents. Parents simply want to communicate with their own children and it is only natural they want that communication to happen in the same comfortable, familiar mode they have been using...yet...
sometimes we as parents have to adjust and make the best of the situation as much as possible.

Do I blame my parents? No. They were doing what they thought was best for me. They were ill-formed (if at all) on many things. However, they are still to be held accountable for not doing their research and finding out more information.

Speech isn't everything. If a child doesn't acquire good speech, s/he will still be able to have a full, fulfilling life. Language, on the other hand, is everything. That's the key to a successful life.

I hope I'm making sense.
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:gpost:


Speech shouldnt be a priority over language.
 
I agree completely with deafbajagal and I, therefore, disagree that the comparison to being forced to swim is apt.
 
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