I dont know how to talk to my Guardian about this, any help??

Kikiers

Kikiers

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Okay so i live with my Grandma who is my foster mum, and shes pretty cool about things like Sex and stuff she knows me and my boyfriend have had oral sex and some other stuff, but i do know her view about me having Vaginal or Anal sex. which of course like any parent is that she doesn't want me doing that. I'm 17 years old and my Boyfriend is 18. and we Were both virgins until yesterday when we got into the moment yesterday. We ended up having sex and i want to tell my Nana that i want to keep having sex with him but i don't know how. i know she won't like it but i'm going to do it again. I'm not stupid i know about being able to get STD's and pregnancy i already take birth control and im really good about not missing days and i know to use condoms... So how do i tell her that i want to do this?

I'mHOH but i really need advice Thank You!
 
If you are still at a stage where you need approval from a parental figure for your actions, sex is one of the actions you are way too young for.

It's a matter of maturity and understanding that your sex life is no ones business but your own.
 
well im not really asking her permission to do it but id like her to know so she wont like find out by catching us ya know?
 
you're better off asking one of those well-known columnists who advise teens on sex stuff...
 
Bottesini said:
If you are still at a stage where you need approval from a parental figure for your actions, sex is one of the actions you are way too young for.

It's a matter of maturity and understanding that your sex life is no ones business but your own.
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Well, she is still a minor, so her grandmother is legally responsible for her.
 
Reba said:
Well, she is still a minor, so her grandmother is legally responsible for her.
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If Granny already has her on birth control, she probably isn't under any illusions...
 
Just keep in mind:

"California - The age of consent in California is 18. It is illegal for anyone to engage in sexual intercourse with a minor (someone under the age of 18), unless they are that person's spouse. California employs a tiered system where the greater the difference in age, the greater the penalty. If the person engaging in sex with a minor is less than 3 years older or younger than the minor, then they are guilty of a misdemeanor. If they are more than 3 years older than the minor then they are guilty of a felony. Those over the age of 21 engaging in sex with those under 16 are subjected to more harsh penalties."

Statutory Rape: The Age of Consent | LegalMatch Law Library
 
Better be glad you are not my daughter....you're too young to be having sex. Don't you have an y hobbies....friends....things to keep you busy?...As for ur boyfriend, he's 18 right?....Both still too young.
 
In most states, because you are 17 and a MINOR by law... ( most states not all ) he just committed rape. Statutory... rape. Your grandmother can press charges on your behalf, and he can be forced to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. Yes, even though you're 17 and he's 18. He is still an adult, and you are not... lawfully speaking...

As far as advice... because you're a minor... I'm not touching that one with a 50 foot pole... Just telling you legally what can happen...

Personally I feel if you're under 18, that's something you shouldn't really be engaging in anyway... but again, my personal belief, the governments laws and what you want or are going to do are two very different things... Just putting it out there...
 
Since you mentioned about your boyfriend who is 18 yo, it is up to you and him to break the law or not.

If I was him, I would wait until you turn 18, and just do it then don't tell your guardian. simple as that. It is none of anyone's business.

Today is 2013, sex advertisement are everywhere, even a poster that show couple kissing each other on bed at shopping mall. Did your guardian put her hand on your eyes? Sex temptations are irresistible these days.
 
Why rush into sex? It is a huge responsibility to undertake.
 
Kikiers said:
well im not really asking her permission to do it but id like her to know so she wont like find out by catching us ya know?
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That would be embarrassing and ackward, right?....How would you feel if you caught your Guardian having sex?....
 
Thank for sharing the great news!!! I mean how many 17 years old go out and have sex? You should look at other minors who have sex and see the trend. See how special it makes you feel.
 
I don't think that your grandmother should know. I would never tell my grandmother this kind of stuff. If you're on BC and you take it EVERY DAY then it's OK. just don't do it under her roof when she's home. Just do not get caught! it's rude to do it when your grandmother's home. it's disrespectful. I know a lot of people here is telling you that you're too young... they don't realized that it's kinda normal for people your age to do these actions... oh well. good luck.

Kikiers said:
Okay so i live with my Grandma who is my foster mum, and shes pretty cool about things like Sex and stuff she knows me and my boyfriend have had oral sex and some other stuff, but i do know her view about me having Vaginal or Anal sex. which of course like any parent is that she doesn't want me doing that. I'm 17 years old and my Boyfriend is 18. and we Were both virgins until yesterday when we got into the moment yesterday. We ended up having sex and i want to tell my Nana that i want to keep having sex with him but i don't know how. i know she won't like it but i'm going to do it again. I'm not stupid i know about being able to get STD's and pregnancy i already take birth control and im really good about not missing days and i know to use condoms... So how do i tell her that i want to do this?

I'mHOH but i really need advice Thank You!
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Moelza said:
I don't think that your grandmother should know. I would never tell my grandmother this kind of stuff. If you're on BC and you take it EVERY DAY then it's OK. just don't do it under her roof when she's home. Just do not get caught! it's rude to do it when your grandmother's home. it's disrespectful. I know a lot of people here is telling you that you're too young... they don't realized that it's kinda normal for people your age to do these actions... oh well. good luck.
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I couldn't agree more. It's like the very recently former adage of the US military. Don't ask, don't tell. Except don't **** where she can have any chance of finding you, don't tell her. She knows you're sexually active, she's given you the medical access you need to take care of that in a medically responsible manner. It would be very unrealistic of her to not think that you'd go from oral to penetrative sex.

Don't go around blabbing what you're doing to anyone until you're 18, and if you do talk about it to someone, make sure it's someone you're close to and can trust not to say anything. I don't think it's anything criminally wrong to have an 18 year old sleeping with a 17 year old, but it's not worth blabbing when it can mean him being labeled a sexual offender for the rest of his life. If you have questions on sexual matters like things on sex positions or orgasms make sure you ask them without saying who your boyfriend is. It's stupid that you have to do it, but that's the way it is.
 
Kikiers said:
Okay so i live with my Grandma who is my foster mum, and shes pretty cool about things like Sex and stuff she knows me and my boyfriend have had oral sex and some other stuff, but i do know her view about me having Vaginal or Anal sex. which of course like any parent is that she doesn't want me doing that. I'm 17 years old and my Boyfriend is 18. and we Were both virgins until yesterday when we got into the moment yesterday. We ended up having sex and i want to tell my Nana that i want to keep having sex with him but i don't know how. i know she won't like it but i'm going to do it again. I'm not stupid i know about being able to get STD's and pregnancy i already take birth control and im really good about not missing days and i know to use condoms... So how do i tell her that i want to do this?

I'mHOH but i really need advice Thank You!
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Wow..thanks for sharing this with us. :eek3:
 
could lived without details of oral sex....sounds like you and him are puting pressure on each other to have sex...it not mandtory...would it not been better when time was right like after 18 or older..Anyone can have quick sex before granny comes home but takes real man to wait and make love
 
As long as you don't regret having had sex there is no reason to talk to her about it, she's from a different generation and it would probably only upset her. Given the laws in California you really shouldn't be telling anyone publicly because he could go to jail. If you're being safe and you're comfortable with the situation my advice would be to keep it to yourself.
 
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