Im a hearing parent!! My oldest son is fluent in signed english(well, getting there, he is a six year old with his own agenda) and we are learning ASL together through a private charter school that incorperates signed english and ASL(You have no idea how hard I fought with the school district to get my son into this school!!! In fact they did not want him in that school because it wasnt "total communication"... they wanted to keep him in the school district, teach him how to read lips, they put him in a hearing classroom(mainstreaming), where he had a translator(IN KINDERGARTEN!!??
Isnt that a little early to make those kind of expectations on a child who just wants to make friends and glue cotton onto paper?) I had to fight with the school district and hire an attorney to help me find all my rights and get full advantage of them. Three years into it my son is finally in an all signing environment, getting the help he deserves and needs to become a successful deaf man in the community.
The school also has him in thier soccer and football for the school year. It warms my heart. Once I thought my child didnt have a fighting chance, now all of our dreams are being realized.
I also agree 100%. Im heartbroken to see so many hearing parents feeling so down about thier own children. My children are my life. I couldnt ever imagine trying to change them or feel down about who they are. It boggles me.
On another note, alot of us arent fully informed about getting help learning sign language. We are pressured into putting implants into our kids heads, teaching them how to become oral and not given enough information about our rights and the rights of our children.
Alot of times the deaf community seems so scarse, because its not everywhere, hearing communities are everywhere. We have to go *find* our resources and contacts, because unfortunately, we arent handed a little booklet at our children's births.
I know when I first began the deaf community was like a secret society of elites, and I wasnt invited. I felt discouraged as a parent... alone and afraid to venture foreward.
Initially, and I know not all deaf people are the same...when my son was first diagnosed, I went online to a support group to ask about excersises I could use to teach my son more sign, and I was told to give him up for adoption to a deaf family who would know and understand him... encouraging? Not really.
It was my own vice that got our family where it is today, very strong in the deaf community where we are, and very comfortable living as a "deaf family"(Even though my bf and I are not deaf).
Please dont put every hearing parent down. Some of us work so hard to give our children a fighting chance. I sit at home and learn deaf culture, different icons of deaf society and plan to take my son on vacation to those landmarks to teach him about the accomplishments of deaf individuals throughout history... and am currently in training to be a sign interpretor, so when my kids are ready for college we can make that transition to gaulladet university, and I can be thier translator full time. When James turns 10 we will take our first initial visit there to visit the area and the school.
I do know what you mean, though. I see hearing parents implant thier kids, put in hearing aides(that obviously dont work), get lip reading coaches, cry endlessly about thier children's "problem"... It irritates and saddens me. I want to scream out, JUST LEARN SIGN LANGUAGE!, give your kids and yourselves a break... its bad enough they have to deal with the harrassment of hearing kids at school and in public(and omg, they do! People are cruel and sick, IMO), now they have to endure the same traumas at home with the two(or one) person they love and trust? Its a death warrant, if you ask me.
Right now I am a part of a coalition at my college. We are spreading deaf awareness across our city to hearing people. Showing them where to find resources to learn sign language, and offering tutoring for a small fee to fund deaf culture trips for the groups and thier families across the US once a year.
I do this for my children, because I have hope in thier lives and thier future. In my head I know that if one more person learns sign, thats one more person that my son can communicate with, one more person that has opened thier mind a little more, and one more step to what seems like a very deep, very dark river to cross for alot of us hearing parents of deaf children.
All Im asking is for you to open your mind to the fact that raising a kid is a mind boggling adventure, and then the sudden introduction of something foreign to us comes along.
We all get swayed by alot of hearing professionals of hearing loss that initially we hang on to because we dont know where else to turn... and some of us continue to battle that ground(implanting, hearing aides, learning to read lips and speak, not encouraging sign language), and some of us want to explore more and find whats best for our kids(embracing sign language and deaf community)
I really dont know what else to say, but please dont put us all in the same tiny box. I struggle with these stupid school district people on a daily basis, with ignorant doctors who tell me my kids wont amount to anything without hearing aides or an implant, even with deaf people who tell me to give my children up for adoption because Ill never give them what a deaf family can give them... I deal with this on a daily basis.
I DO know sign, I DO love my children, and I WILL continue to try to GIVE them the best, most successful life possible. Ive relocated three states to find my oldest son the best school out there, and will gladly do it again if needed. and that school is an all deaf charter school(Most of the staff is Deaf or HOH, all signing). Id never change my life or my children for anything....
katt.
my friend
when I saw my hubby's parents negative over deafness to us. I told MIL friendly way why she keep on complaint since my hubby can do everything... *shake the head*
and told Danny to not say "thank you" or "please" to him because he don't like formal way. It got Danny 
