Guys not interested in Deaf/HOH Girls?

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JRBergy

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Sooo my biggest dating problem is that I can't seem to find a guy that is Deaf/HOH like me (would love to date same as me) So I date mostly hearing, but they aren't willing to learn sign for me or if using voice they can't repeat for me. Grrrr.

Where are all the good guys willing to date me for me not my hearing?! Or where are the good Deaf/HOH guys at? :)
 
Im from Boulder, Colorado. I have family in the Berkshires and Stockbridge.

I know quite a few people in Boston. How old are you?
 
I like a deaf girl and im hoping she will like and dates hearing.. I am willing to learn asl and try to learn as much I can online. now if shes not in to me like that I wont be bummed or feel like I wasted time learning the language because its important to know how to communicate with others and its good for life.
 
Yes absolutely =) I still have some hearing, but I think regardless Sign Language is a beautiful language and Deaf Culture is amazing.
 
Yo, I'm living in Boston too (Cambridge, actually). And I'm 20 years old. I also have a wonderful deaf boyfriend on the other side of coast. I'm sure there's guys out there who would like you no matter if you're deaf or not.

What part of Boston do you live now? xD
 
I actually live on the south shore, Plymouth :) oh wow, so you do long distance relationship? That's cool, how did you meet?
 
JRBergy said:
I actually live on the south shore, Plymouth :) oh wow, so you do long distance relationship? That's cool, how did you meet?
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Wow, far from Cambridge, aren't you?

Yah, we're in long distance relationship and we met through a mutual friend who knows both of us and just introduced both of us because I was in the process of applying to his college. So, what are you doing in South Shore? Graduated from college, etc?
 
Well the biggest problem many hearing and deaf people have with dating eachother is... They both live in absolutely different culture and just cannot adjust for another one.

Deaf community are very small and it seems like as if everybody know eachother and already dated half of the community and often are friend with a ex or whoever. This really threw hearing people off. Plus many deaf people are very critiquing toward deaf who date hearing especially if hearing don't know signing.

Hearing world... Well not everyone want to take time to slow down for deaf person, it is hard to take time to sit down and communication with deaf person, etc... And deaf person often pretty much "shut down" once they're in hearing world.

So if they want to date eachother, they MUST be able to fully interact with at least one community, understand the custom and culture of that community, willing to spend most of their life in it, and be able to weather the storm if one of the community have a issue. Or... Just have a separate life.
 
I think a lot of it has to do with hearing people just not understanding the Deaf community... But for a hearing person to be able to date a Deaf person, it takes a lot of patience on both parties, openness, understanding, and obviously some means of communication. I think it would make for an even closer relationship should they be able to make it work, because that can be a big obstacle to overcome. Some might be intimidated by that. Personally, I would welcome it should the situation arise (but then again, I am learning ASL and am willing to continue to do so)
 
FFHAVoK I think you put it well and RabidLamn :)

I am part of the hearing world. I attended Gallaudet and experienced Deaf Culture, but I interact more in the hearing world, so like you say it is hard for people in the hearing world to have patience to slow down and communicate with me although I do have some hearing many people do not want to take the time out to repeat things.
 
I also attended Gallaudet for a semester but was really unhappy there so I got kicked out on purpose.
Hell I doesn't even want to be there in the first place but was pressured into it which was incredibly STUPID move on everyone parts include mine for saying yes! Especially considering the fact I pretty much stay well away from anything related to deaf community from middle school until the last year in high school. I think I pretty much got in simply because I was president of a deaf club that die out for various reasons as soon as I left.

Since you're 24, I am not surprise if you're having a bit problem with hearing world. I was almost 19 when I got kicked out of Gallaudet and I was left on my own with almost no real friends and have to learn how to interact in real world. I quickly learned that it is nothing like high school.
But over years I learn the best way is to find your niche in the hearing world and then you'll find your people.
My advice is, try to have as much one on one time with hearing friends as possible and try to not put yourself in spot where you'll be forced to socializing with large number of hearing people unless there's some activity that won't involve lot of talking. Then you'll eventually separate out those who socialize a lot and those who prefer being lone or in a small group, then that's when you'll bump into the right person. At least that is what work for me.
 
RabidLamn said:
Well the biggest problem many hearing and deaf people have with dating eachother is... They both live in absolutely different culture and just cannot adjust for another one.

Deaf community are very small and it seems like as if everybody know eachother and already dated half of the community and often are friend with a ex or whoever. This really threw hearing people off. Plus many deaf people are very critiquing toward deaf who date hearing especially if hearing don't know signing.

Hearing world... Well not everyone want to take time to slow down for deaf person, it is hard to take time to sit down and communication with deaf person, etc... And deaf person often pretty much "shut down" once they're in hearing world.

So if they want to date eachother, they MUST be able to fully interact with at least one community, understand the custom and culture of that community, willing to spend most of their life in it, and be able to weather the storm if one of the community have a issue. Or... Just have a separate life.
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I feel sorry for you.

RabidLamn said:
I also attended Gallaudet for a semester but was really unhappy there so I got kicked out on purpose.
Hell I doesn't even want to be there in the first place but was pressured into it which was incredibly STUPID move on everyone parts include mine for saying yes! Especially considering the fact I pretty much stay well away from anything related to deaf community from middle school until the last year in high school. I think I pretty much got in simply because I was president of a deaf club that die out for various reasons as soon as I left.

Since you're 24, I am not surprise if you're having a bit problem with hearing world. I was almost 19 when I got kicked out of Gallaudet and I was left on my own with almost no real friends and have to learn how to interact in real world. I quickly learned that it is nothing like high school.
But over years I learn the best way is to find your niche in the hearing world and then you'll find your people.
My advice is, try to have as much one on one time with hearing friends as possible and try to not put yourself in spot where you'll be forced to socializing with large number of hearing people unless there's some activity that won't involve lot of talking. Then you'll eventually separate out those who socialize a lot and those who prefer being lone or in a small group, then that's when you'll bump into the right person. At least that is what work for me.
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worst advice ever. no wonder you had a bad experience with deaf community

and beside - why are you in AD if you don't like deaf community?
 
JRBergy said:
Sooo my biggest dating problem is that I can't seem to find a guy that is Deaf/HOH like me (would love to date same as me) So I date mostly hearing, but they aren't willing to learn sign for me or if using voice they can't repeat for me. Grrrr.

Where are all the good guys willing to date me for me not my hearing?! Or where are the good Deaf/HOH guys at? :)
Click to expand...

plenty of Deaf/HOH in Boston.
 
Wirelessly posted

I think it is better if a hearing person knows ASL or any sign language, then it should not a problem for both deaf and hearing. :) If a deaf person wants to learn how to speak and listen, then his/her hearing sweetheart could help too!

I am positive that there are successful relationships without communication problems. Of course, not always; I know the reality.
 
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