Friends and gifts

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TiaraPrincess

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What do you think of people who don't give gifts in return? Do you think they should? Depends?

There is a co-worker that mom helped be hired a year ago because mom worked with her husband a long, long time ago in another company. Her husband was friends with my uncle a long time ago. We see them maybe once a year at a party they make. Anyway, my mother always has a gift for her little girl on her b-day and on Christmas. Sometimes when she feels like it if she finds something cute. When my mom turned 50, she only gave her a balloon and a printed out Happy Birthday with a design on it. Doesn't that sound cheap? (Remember the balloon and paper is the only thing that she gave in the last couple of years we've known them). We invited her to our new home a little after my birthday. We also had a birthday cake for me. They did not bring anything for me. She also bought her something for her baby shower before.

However, I don't know why this person that mom has known a long time never once gave her a gift. We aren't very close to them for some reason. However, I don't know what to think of people who do that. I didn't think much that she did not bring a birthday gift until after they left. I just think it's so odd. They are not poor people, so that's not a reason. It just becomes a pattern as you know them that they are not very thoughtful, giving or as you would say generous people. I don't really like her personally. I don't show that, but I didn't know that until last winter when I saw how she really was as a person. She doesn't really talk to me. I doubt that she ever thanked my mother for helping get her hired. A card or something thoughtful? Not an ounce of it.

Am I making a big deal out of this? We continue to be nice and friends because we have no issues with them, but my mom and I noticed this year about her greediness or however is best said. Why are some people cheap and not generous or thoughtful when appropriate?
 
Some people cannot afford buying gifts all the time or often. I have done a lot of giving than taken. It just sometimes people do not have a whole lot to go out and buy a gift when they have bills sacking up that needs to be paid first before anything else. But, a "thank-you note" Or "saying" would be greatly appreciated from them. It isn't about returning favors just because You went and brought something for somebody you expect to get something in return it sounds too spoil if You asked me.

One time I brought a few wedding gifts for two people who were planning on getting married, Only One person said to me "Thank-you" but the other person did not. It did hurt me alittle. But, I am not going to get angry at that person and say U know what next time I won't get you anything, Cuz really that isn't who I am.:)
 
Maybe my answer is too simplistic but I suggest you flush that whole thing out of your system because it doesn't have any redeeming value to your life.
 
The only reason someone should give a gift is because he/she gets pleasure in giving, not because he/she expects something in return. If the recipient does give something back later, hey, that is nice. But it should never be expected. That way, there is never any disappointment. Give because you want to give, and enjoy seeing someone's joy in receiving your gift. Never give for guilt feelings, or bribing, or competition; you will be unhappy. If you give just because you enjoy picking out presents for people and watching them smile when they open the box, then you will always be satisfied.

Of course, it is always good manners to be thankful for gifts.
 
I feel ya!

It doesn't really bother me even though I buy them gifts most of the time, and some of them don't buy me anything ...I don't expect them to buy me something in return but to buy me something because they think of me.....but then again, they may not have the money to....

Buying something doesn't really count, but being there for them does...

I remember my real mom buy my little sister nice things for Christmas but for us twins she buys us something so cheap, still I don't really care, I never wanted anything from her in the first place...

Maybe it is because my mom fave my little sister than us, and yes it hurts, but then again I wouldn't let it bother me, because spending time with my family means much more than gifts....Likely for my friends too... :ily:
 
Reba said:
The only reason someone should give a gift is because he/she gets pleasure in giving, not because he/she expects something in return. If the recipient does give something back later, hey, that is nice. But it should never be expected. That way, there is never any disappointment. Give because you want to give, and enjoy seeing someone's joy in receiving your gift. Never give for guilt feelings, or bribing, or competition; you will be unhappy. If you give just because you enjoy picking out presents for people and watching them smile when they open the box, then you will always be satisfied.

Of course, it is always good manners to be thankful for gifts.
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I deffo agree with you 100% for gift-giving.
 
I wasn't expecting her to give gifts out of pleasure and in return each time, but we have known them quiet a long time and she hasn't given anything. I mean, you know maybe once would have been fine or a card out of appreciation. Maybe we do feel her character more than you guys if you know what I mean. When you know someone well, you know if it's something deeper than just not being able to afford it.

I understand about favoritism. My mom's stepfather gave his children the best things and bought his youngest son the best and more things out of the rest.

I guess I was looking to see if there was any more deeper issues than this. Maybe I sound selfish to some of you, but I do think that she should have made a gift at least once during these years we have known them or thanked her for being hired.

One time, my aunt, my cousins and I went shopping. I bought earrings for my mother. I know my mother does not care about how much you spend on things. I don't know how much it was, but my aunt gave me the wrong impression. She showed me the back of the price tag like I needed to buy something else because it was too cheap, so I did anyway and told my mom LOL. I knew she was wrong. I knew the earrings had enough value to be worth a gift.
 
TiaraPrincess said:
...but I do think that she should have made a gift at least once during these years we have known them or thanked her for being hired.
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Yes, that would have been nice, and she should be polite, but I guess by now you realize she is not that kind of person. Please do not continue to worry about that. It is only applying negative depressing feelings to you. It is not touching the other woman at all. Let it go and you will feel better.

Don't waste any more of your time or emotional energy on that woman. Keep doing the positive nice things you enjoy, like buying personal gifts for your mom. You know that she appreciates that, and that is much more important. A small gift from a loving heart is much more precious to your mom than a "duty" gift from an ungrateful co-worker.
 
oh... everyone has answered already.... and I agree completely....
oh well.. I will throw my 2 cents in just for fun!
Plain and Simply comes down to this deffinition I found!
Gift: Something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation.
 
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