For, not against Abortion

[DeafSCUBA98]

who needs SSI/SSa/SSDI? if you can really work?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Sorry Magatsu,
I´m disagree with your point over the reason why the children feel being neglect by their parents due part time or full working time work.
I´m full time working from 7.30 am to 4 pm & my hubby work from 5pm to 10pm. We have no problem with our sons because our sons knows why we went to work.
High % Germans parents goes to work to support their family life. It doesn´t mean that the parents are bad because of work.
I saw most husbands who earn alone to support family life goes miserable because they can´t afford to give their children what they want for their birthday, Easter, Xmas etc. I know it´s true because I myself never received my wishes during my childhood because my mother doesn´t work. I was jealous of others who have everything... I was at aboarding school at most time... My parents drove my Siblings into Criminal because they don´t have what they wish for their birthdays, Easter, Christmas etc is Shoplifting, pinch the money from others etc.

I know exactly it´s true when I read the magazines that high % end into criminal like shoplifting etc because their parents can´t acheive to give them everything what they really need. It makes the children more aggressive & unhappy & unsatisfed. I know it because I myself was victim like this in the past. No thank... I rather to give my children everything is love, attention & their wishes.

I must say that it has nothing do with the reason over working to neglect the children but love & attention..

Abortion subject...
I´m agree to have abortion for the reasons due Doctor´s medicial, malforation, etc.
I would give my baby up for an adoption if I can´t afford to keep my baby or can´t give my love & make her/him happy. The baby deserve to be alive & happy at their new adoptive parents.
I can´t see the sense why I abort the baby for no reasons when the baby is healthy.

 

[Vance]

who needs SSI/SSa/SSDI? if you can really work?

Try to be a single mother with three kids, tell me if you can. Or try to be 15 years old single mother with one kid, tell me if you can. You will understand if you are in their position. I worked as one-to-one and I saw all what I saw. America isn't excatly in good economy unlikely Europe or Sweden.. It will be like lottery stats for anyone to have money to support three kids or find a job that pay well, it is lottery stats to have that opportunity.

Liebling)), well explain the increasing children's behavior problems in 20 years, voilence problems in younger gals (newspaper printed about it yesterday), etc etc.. because of neglection due to jobs but not only jobs, junk or industrial foods that cause children to mature incorrectly. I strongly suggest you to read the Mothering magazine to understand what I talked about, I am not a female or mother yet I read that magazine to collect the information on children problems due to neglection and many reasons. It may not hit you yet when they are young but in later time like teenager or older, it may will hit you. if not then you are lucky or good parent and I praise you for that but unfortunately for 68% of americans parents who have to deal with these problematic children because of neglection by jobs and other reasons.

 

[DeafSCUBA98]

Try to be a single mother with three kids, tell me if you can. Or try to be 15 years old single mother with one kid, tell me if you can. You will understand if you are in their position. I worked as one-to-one and I saw all what I saw. America isn't excatly in good economy unlikely Europe or Sweden.. It will be like lottery stats for anyone to have money to support three kids or find a job that pay well, it is lottery stats to have that opportunity.

Liebling)), well explain the increasing children's behavior problems in 20 years, voilence problems in younger gals (newspaper printed about it yesterday), etc etc.. because of neglection due to jobs but not only jobs, junk or industrial foods that cause children to mature incorrectly. I strongly suggest you to read the Mothering magazine to understand what I talked about, I am not a female or mother yet I read that magazine to collect the information on children problems due to neglection and many reasons. It may not hit you yet when they are young but in later time like teenager or older, it may will hit you. if not then you are lucky or good parent and I praise you for that but unfortunately for 68% of americans parents who have to deal with these problematic children because of neglection by jobs and other reasons.

i understand your view.. about myself, I'm a full-time single father of a terrible 2 kid.
I learn the mistakes.. and there are times that i wish i never had a kid, however i have to learn to move on.. change my life I had to give up partys, had to give up fun stuffs, had to give up my immature life. a whole new world for me. also had to find a better friends, since many of my friends are immature/drinkers/drugs.

Also about the time spending with your kid. Believe it or not.. Its best for a kid to meet other kids so therefore its best to take ur children to childcare, preschool. and you can work.. it will reduce their shyness and improve the kid's self-esteem studies find.

Also, My option.. if I don't work and i stay full time with my son 24/7 and recieve SSI. My son will look at me "hmm my dad doesn't work, so can i when i grew up i don't need to work" that's a bit of a bad role model... clear?

 

[Cheri]

Try to be a single mother with three kids, tell me if you can. Or try to be 15 years old single mother with one kid, tell me if you can. You will understand if you are in their position. I worked as one-to-one and I saw all what I saw. America isn't excatly in good economy unlikely Europe or Sweden.. It will be like lottery stats for anyone to have money to support three kids or find a job that pay well, it is lottery stats to have that opportunity.

Liebling)), well explain the increasing children's behavior problems in 20 years, voilence problems in younger gals (newspaper printed about it yesterday), etc etc.. because of neglection due to jobs but not only jobs but junk or industrial foods that cause children mature incorrectly. I strongly suggest you to read the Mothering magazine to understand what I talked about, I am not a female or mother yet I read that magazine to collect the information on children problems due to neglection and many reasons. It may not hit you yet when they are young but in later time like teenager or older, it may will hit you. if not then you are lucky or good parent and I praise you for that but unfortunately for 68% of americans parents who have to deal with these problematic children because of neglection by jobs and other reasons.

Huh? First of all, I was raise up with alot of hitting, pushing, treating bad by my Mother who never accept me for who I am (deaf) But, Look at me now and when I am growing up I never once broke the law, I have Children of my own whom I do not treat them Like the way My mother treat me...My mother and father both did work at Jobs My aunt end up babysitting for us I love her and think of her as My second Mother cuz she the one who been there for me the Most and never treated me the way My mother treated me I never complain how much stuff I have in life we did not have that many things growing up but still My mom and dad did work but not a good paying Job. But, I never held that against them I Still Love My Father and Mother even through My Mother wasnt the best Mother I Should Have. But, I did forgave her and Move forward.

 

[Vance]

DeafSCUBA98, I agree with you, I never consider SSI/SSDI as permanently financial but it is better off to spend the time with your kids than leaving them most of time due to your job then pay for it in several years later when kids have some behavior problems. And you will have to pay much more for therapy, special classes or school for these behavior problems? Which is best solution?

If I do have a child, I would rather to give up my job to spend some time with my kid to make sure that he/she recieves a full attention from me so that he/she will not have any behavior problems during in teenager time (that which is worse stage in child time). I know my kid will understand why I have to be on SSI/SSDI for a while when he/she gets older enough for me to explain. It is not permanently financial but temporary to spend the time with my kid until he/she is older enough. But it is just me.

DeafSCUBA98, I never say that you are wrong based on your view or your opinions, I choose to make more easier for my kid and me at same time. That's all.

I would give my baby up for an adoption if I can´t afford to keep my baby or can´t give my love & make her/him happy. The baby deserve to be alive & happy at their new adoptive parents

That is good to know but I found that there are higher percentage that adoption kids aren't happy, more higher than with parents who neglected them. So it is worse than hell or abortion. There is no win-win situation, there is no such thing as win-win situation for kids/abortion. If you don't like to have someone to tell you what to do with your life then it is same conception as for abortion. Who will suffer? kids, not mother or father.. it is children who suffer if did not spend enough time or neglect or even adoption...

 

[Vance]

Huh? First of all, I was raise up with alot of hitting, pushing, treating bad by my Mother who never accept me for who I am (deaf) But, Look at me now and when I am growing up I never once broke the law, I have Children of my own whom I do not treat them Like the way My mother treat me...My mother and father both did work at Jobs My aunt end up babysitting for us I love her and think of her as My second Mother cuz she the one who been there for me the Most and never treated me the way My mother treated me I never complain how much stuff I have in life we did not have that many things growing up but still My mom and dad did work but not a good paying Job. But, I never held that against them I Still Love My Father and Mother even through My Mother wasnt the best Mother I Should Have. But, I did forgave her and Move forward.

Yeah you did right thing but it isn't for other parents or other kids. I had a difficult childhood due to my father and divorce situation.. I did made some troubles during in high school but once I graduated from HS and I behave very well because of my mom and her time with me during my early age and teenager time. I would be in a jail if not for her and her attention. There are several magazines, newspapers and news concerning about children and their violence.

From what I experience one-to-one with kids in deaf school, I learned that why kids got violence because it is only way for them to get the damn attention from their parents who neglected them in earlier stages. That's bad thing to do for them but they saw the only situation for them to get the attention from their parents. Hence why violence and behavior problems increase in nation-wide schools monthly because of that. I had many meetings and workshops with teachers, specialists, attention disorder/dysfuncional families clubs, etc etc so I can get better understanding why these kids I worked with behaved like that because of neglection and junk/industrial foods. That's one of many possibilties, of course not all problems came from neglection, some kids can do good even if they are/were neglected by parents.

I personally don't have many things in my life or had good experiences/memories in my younger time either because of divorce and my mom gave up her job to spend more time with us. We (brothers/sisters) end up having no behavior problems in present unlikely some of my friends who have lots of things in their time and yet they went to the jail. I was suffered in my young time but I am thankful for a mother who gave up her job or her good time to spend with me. I definitely will make up for her to pay the "debt" in sometime later.

 

[Vance]

I made a separate post for all of you single mothers, fathers or parents..

I am not saying that you are wrong or judge you for what you did with your kids. I just stated the facts and my opinions based on my experiences. I just don't believe that anti-abortion is best choice for everyone. It is individiual choice, not Bush or mass.

Let me ask all of you, would you like others to tell you what to do with your life? or tell you how you should live your life? That's how people feel with abortion issues. No one, I mean no one have the right to tell anyone what to do. Not even President Bush or doctors.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Liebling)), well explain the increasing children's behavior problems in 20 years, voilence problems in younger gals (newspaper printed about it yesterday), etc etc.. because of neglection due to jobs but not only jobs, junk or industrial foods that cause children to mature incorrectly. I strongly suggest you to read the Mothering magazine to understand what I talked about, I am not a female or mother yet I read that magazine to collect the information on children problems due to neglection and many reasons. It may not hit you yet when they are young but in later time like teenager or older, it may will hit you. if not then you are lucky or good parent and I praise you for that but unfortunately for 68% of americans parents who have to deal with these problematic children because of neglection by jobs and other reasons.

Thank you for the suggestion.
Of course I collected children upbringing magazines, including Mother & Child, too.
I´m mother of 11 & 8 years old sons...
I´m sorry to tell you that high % of parents in Europe went to work to support their family life... The children knows why their parents must go to work. They knows their parents come home from work to take care of them & have time for them...
No, it´s nothing do with neglect the children due their parents´s jobs but love & attention, also respect.
I would like to remind you that most of children become aggressive since their parents are out of work because they can´t acheive to give their children´s wish like future school, education, etc... My sister dream to become Flight Hostess (Steward) but she had to bury her dream, me too... I dream to be clothes designer but we have to bury our dreams because our parents CAN´t afford to acheive our wishes. It makes us more depression...
High % of children are criminal due their parents´s unemployment...
I beleive is to fill my children´s wish like future education, etc.
I stayed home with my children during 3 years mother care till they went to Kindergarten (Nursery) then go back to work...
What you said is a BIG new to me because I never heard that the children feel being neglect by their parent due their jobs... Can you please add the websites?
I know only that they are being neglect by their parents´s love & attention... That´s all...
It´s NOTHING do with work...

 

[Vance]

Liebling)), yes I do agree with you. Love and attention is the key for children to recieve and grow up becoming fine man/woman. That's what my future kids will recieve from me in future.

You stated that you are European if so then that is different story because I don't know that much about european and their culture toward kids, child development, etc. However about the links that you asked for.. I am not sure where I can find, I got the facts from mothering, parents and etc magazines or workshops/meetings. But give me some time if you don't mind, I will find the information for you eventually.

Let me ask you about Europe, does they give special services for single mothers or fathers? or poor families? I would love to know more about yours. Like I said above, I don't know anything about Europe and their children issues.

 

[DeafSCUBA98]

i personally believe its men's choice too

interesting thing i found about laws in 10 states due to abortion.

Ten states have unenforceable laws requiring spousal consent or notice (CO, FL, IL, KY, LA, ND, PA, RI, SC, UT). The Supreme Court struck down Pennsylvania's mandatory husband notice law in Planned Parenthood v. Casey.

 

[DeafSCUBA98]

Magtasu,

i think that i understand you.. but what i was thinking is that probally the magazine itself is explaining about parents who are working overtime.. This american culture, many employees are working overtime (more than 40 hours per week). because people are thinking *money money money* is the most important thing in their life..

Yet, to be honest.. the american culture is changing a bit. I have seeing more and more married couples are changing their shifts.. for example, a mother works 8 am till 4 30 pm.. then the father works 5 pm till 1 am or so.. just a different shifts. That way the kid can be with parents full time.. also it save parents money in childcare expenses. but, the problem there is... marriage gone wild due to that.. because parents don't get time to have (family time) due to job shifts are different. but some of them are successful and work it out just fine.


U may be right Magstau.. but.. For me, I'm signle father, i do wish i can stay 24/7 with my son, however due to bills, food, etc.. i can't do that. the state won't help me, even though SSi isn't enough to cover everything Mortgage, bills, car, gas, blah blah u name it.

Yes i work fulltime also i do get some assidance such as WIC, Child care assidance and Gas Assidance program.

this is 2000 now.. and more women are working full-time in order to help with the bills, food, etc.. because these days are expensive to live, before the 90's women can just stay full-time mom.. and the father works full time because the bills, etc aren't expensive as what it is now. that's the only problem i'm seeing.

 

[Vance]

Yeah you are right. You only can make decisions you think best for your kids or even for you. Sad thing that America's economy is definitely getting worse and worse, you made the decisions based on what choices gave you. Nothing more or less than that, at least you did your part by being there for your own kid which many single fathers don't. To me, that's gentleman's honor and dignity to live with.

Cheers!

 

[corona_babe135]

or don't have sex at all cuz those days teens are doin it and they get preggie and give up kids like they are ragged dolls piss me off sometimes in a while oh well sex education need to be improved those days.. :roll: what more I agree with fly free's post.. I ain't gonna get myself invoved in another discussion about abortion cuz we already HAVE one that was open in past but I think locked right now or am I wrong?

You are not wrong, don't worry about it, everyone makes mistakes! I don't judge you!

 

[corona_babe135]

In all honest.. we, men have absolutely no right to tell women what to do or make decisions about abortions.. Not even governments or fanatical religions. They surely aren't "God" or "Gods" so who are they make decisions for women about abortion issues?

I personally am not pro or anti abortion, I am a guy who is willing to support my lover whatever she wants to make decision for our baby. For best or worse, it is her decision to make, I will support whatever it is best for her or us. Of course I will offer my devil's advocate perspectives, share my feelings, and other things but the final decision goes to her to make.

Today's "March for Women's Lives" are quite inspiration, lots of famous actoresses came and joined them and there are several excellent lectures about rights, privacy issues, abortions, Bush. etc... Too bad that we could not go there (Washington DC) to join them.. :/

Right on! Thank you! You will probably make a woman very happy, not many men would say that they would support their child. You are awesom in my book!

 

[corona_babe135]

I would say it's women their right to choose or not... I mean what if u were raped or something... There's tons of issues with the abortion... I'd say "women's right to choose"

AWESOME!! That is exactly what I say! There is this boy in one my classes, he says that, no matter what women should have to raise that child b/c it is their fault for spreading their legs. I even asked him about rapings, he said they probably did something to bring it apon themselves! What a dick head!

 

[Angel]

Try to be a single mother with three kids, tell me if you can. Or try to be 15 years old single mother with one kid, tell me if you can. You will understand if you are in their position.

Exactly!!....If anyone knows what its like to be a single mother of 3 children and being on ssa/ssdi/ssi whatever....I am ' one ' of them and I will find a job once my youngest son enrolls in kindergarden then I will be able to work full-time or part-time while they're ALL in school...

 

[corona_babe135]

okay, you say its woman's right of choice.... suppose a woman asked you " why not we have sex.. and get us to have kids?" then you all of sudden get excited and go ahead make kids. then 2 months later ur wife or girlfriend change their mind.. and wants an abortion.. what ya gonna do?

i personally believe its men's choice too.

What what are men going to do? They really have no say in weither the woman wants to keep it or not, that is her choice, the man can't force her to keep it.

 

[DeafSCUBA98]

yeah but not in these state that i posted above on #51 they require a husband or spouse approval

 

[icecl_out1]

In all honest.. we, men have absolutely no right to tell women what to do or make decisions about abortions.. Not even governments or fanatical religions. They surely aren't "God" or "Gods" so who are they make decisions for women about abortion issues?

I personally am not pro or anti abortion, I am a guy who is willing to support my lover whatever she wants to make decision for our baby. For best or worse, it is her decision to make, I will support whatever it is best for her or us. Of course I will offer my devil's advocate perspectives, share my feelings, and other things but the final decision goes to her to make.

Today's "March for Women's Lives" are quite inspiration, lots of famous actoresses came and joined them and there are several excellent lectures about rights, privacy issues, abortions, Bush. etc... Too bad that we could not go there (Washington DC) to join them.. :/

Magatsu....i'd have to say in this whole discussion this is the message I agree the most with. I mean yes, a lot of people have made very good points. But when it all comes time to decide...yes I can share my feelings about the situation but in the end the final decision goes to the woman who is actually going to have the child...go through all the pain, the labor, and everything...so it would be whatever the girl wants to do. and no matter what the guy should support her decision. I know if my girlfriend ever got pregnant I would support her 100%....and if she decided to keep the child...I would support the child 100% too. I mean no matter what she decides it is still my baby too...I would never say well get an abortion or i'm leaving...that's just wrong.