First, I want to say that my daughter DOES hear wonderfully with her hearing aids--so much so that she is NOT a candidate for a CI (too much hearing). She DID learn English by listening to it--and I sure did have fun interacting with her as she learned!
I realize that not all kids with a hearing loss have that access--if hearing aids don't work and if they do not get a CI, then yes, we get it--they cannot learn auditorily. But please try also understand that many DO gain access--and WONDERFUL access at that--to speech and hearing through either hearing aids that give them EXCELLENT hearing or through CIs that also give them EXCELLENT hearing. Once again, not ALL deaf children gain that access--just as not ALL deaf children are blocked from that access. I have met many children whose loss is not profound and DO gain EXCELLENT access to oral language through listening and speaking(with hearing aids). I also have met many children with CIs who gain EXCELLENT access to oral language through listening and speaking.
Let's not paint a broad brush and assume that a large majority of deaf kids don't have that access--from what I have seen, MANY deaf kids today DO get that access because of modern technology (digital hearing aids or CIs). For the kids that do not, then yes, it IS asking them to do something they cannot do--if a child does NOT have access to spoken language through hearing it with hearing aids of CIs, then it DOES seem cruel to try to get them to speak when they cannot hear. I get that, too!! Apparently, many Deaf adults who were children before today's technology are coming from that perspective--hearing aids from THEIR childhood didn't work and there was no such thing as a CI--they grew up NOT having access to sound--if they were "forced" (and it sounds like some Deaf adults were cruelly treated during this process) to try to learn to speak even though they couldn't hear, then yes, that is BAD!! I get it!! But these Deaf adults need to realize something--first of all, not all kids today who are labeled "deaf" or "hard of hearing" are profoundly deaf--many have quite a bit of hearing even without hearing aids--second, MANY kids who are labeled as "deaf" or "hard of hearing" wear powerful hearing aids that bring their loss up to mild (and some seem to hear better than "hearing people" when they wear their hearing aids!)--third, MANY kids are getting CIs at young ages--whether or not a person thinks this is right or wrong, it is still happening--there are a LOT of kids who hear AMAZINGLY well with CIs(Deaf adults who cannot hear anything would probably be amazed at what these kids CAN hear!)--and last, many "deaf" and "hard of hearing" kids are learning spoken English in FUN ways with lots and lots of fun, positive interaction that hopefully parents would be giving to them anyway(with OR without a hearing loss!).
I haven't seen a lot of evidence of the cold, cruel, unsympathetic, uncaring therapy that some Deaf people described from their childhood--I am sure that it DOES exist, just as ALL abuse DOES exist, but every "orally educated" kid that I have met has had a FUN and ENJOYABLE language foundation. Parents usually ENJOY taking their kids to the zoo and talking all about the animals, playing creatively with toys and talking to their children while playing, making crafts with their kids or cooking in the kitchen while talking to their kids, etc.--and the kids usually seem to LOVE it when their parents and other adults are playing with them on their level and interacting with them in loving ways. If that "cruel and heartless therapy" still exists somewhere, then bless the hearts of those kids and bless the hearts of the adults who suffered through that--I just know that today's "play therapy" just seems to be all about having fun with kids and talking while you are doing fun things with them--simple, fun, no pressure, no cruelty at all--nothing but love and happiness!
So, there are different perspectives--we should try to see things from "the other person's shoes." If someone grew up NOT hearing, if someone did not have access to sound, if someone was treated cruelly and told that they have to do something a certain way no matter what--their perspective is unique. Those who have not been where they have been need to try to understand where they are coming from. AND, those who came from that background also should try to see things from a different perspective--not everyone has the same background or circumstances. For Deaf adults who never were able to hear as kids, they should try to understand that this is not always the case for today's kids. Once again, the CI debate is one issue, but what about the other issues--there are a LOT of kids with hearing loss that DO hear WONDERFULLY with today's digital hearing aids--a lot of people with hearing loss of mild to moderate to severe degrees may consider themselves "deaf" or "hard of hearing" but hear VERY well with modern technology. Just because a person who is profoundly deaf never was able to hear does not mean that a person with moderate to severe loss cannot hear--maybe the other person CAN hear VERY well with hearing aids. One person cannot speak for another--one person cannot assume that, since they are Deaf and cannot hear, that ALL "deaf" and "hard of hearing" people cannot hear-some do, some don't. That also can apply to speech--just because one Deaf person does not use speech, they shouldn't assume that another person cannot. Too many broad statements are being made--too many people saying ALL deaf and hard of hearing this or that...once again, each person is completely different and should be looked at as a unique individual--while one person may not hear anything and does not want to use speech, another person may hear great with hearing aids or CIs and may enjoy using speech. Too many people have been saying things that overgeneralize...try to see things from another person's perspective--and the same courtesy should be returned, too.
My daughter loves hearing with her hearing aids and she loves speaking in fluent English--she also would like to become fluent in ASL. She is trying to see things from BOTH perspectives. She learned English from listening to it and being immersed in it. I hope that she will learn ASL (or maybe SEE?) by observing it and being exposed to it often.
How did she learn English? From the moment she was born, I talked to her and interacted with her. We developed a "mother-daughter" language from the beginning--as an infant, she cried and cooed, smiled and frowned, etc. in response to my interactions with her. As she grew, we used words and gestures--she was beginning to say things like "hey" and "bye bye" (with wave included) as she reached her first birthday. It was around this time that we began to worry--she didn't have as many first words as her brother had by his first birthday, but she had been a premie so perhaps there was a slight delay due to that(we thought). She also had not taken her first steps by then--also a "premie delay" so we were told. Once her hearing loss was diagnosed, she was immediately fitted with hearing aids and we began researching options. We started with a TC program--focused on signs and words equally. Her first words and first signs began almost right away. We just played together, read books, and talked talked talked to her--and we presented some simple signs, too (eat, drink, sleep, etc.). Soon, she had about 30 signs and 30 words. Then, she began having more words than signs--soon she was talking and not using signs. As we looked ahead to her school years, we wanted her to have a good preschool experience to help her get ready for school. She spent two years in an oral preschool--I have to say that the preschool program was one of the BEST preschools that I have ever seen!! I was wishing that my hearing son had been able to go to such a wonderful preschool!! It was great! At home, I was "bathing her in language" and at preschool they were doing the same thing--lots of fun activities that all preschool children enjoy. Her language developed naturally through normal activities--we did many fun things to enrich her learning. When she started school, she was ready and on par with her same age peers. She tackled phonics and basic skills in kindergarten--she learned the pre-reading and pre-math skills required. In first grade, she learned to read and to do simple math. As she grew, she learned more and more skills. She reads and writes well and does fine with grade level work. Her biggest struggle is math--it isn't her strong suit, but it isn't mine, either! She likes to use closed captioning on tv--she often asks me what a certain word means or asks me what someone meant when they said this or that--she is still learning--I hope she remains a lifelong learner and continues to build her skills. She is most definitely fluent in spoken and written English--it is her first language.
How will she learn ASL? So far, she has learned some from books and videos, some from watching an interpreter at school (for one school year so far), and she even remembers some from her toddler days. If she can go to FSDB, I think that she will learn mostly by watching others, but I hope that she can take some ASL classes, too. However, I do wonder if she will actually be able to learn ASL, or will she learn SEE? Since English is her first language, would it be easier for her to learn SEE? Basically, she says that she wants to learn "sign language"--for those who learned later in life, were you able to develop fluent ASL, or did you learn something that is more aligned with English, such as SEE? I hope she can accomplish her goal--it isn't always as easy as you would think! AND--I would like to learn with her, too--we'll see if we can do that, but she may be boarding at FSDB so I would have to learn on my own. Maybe she can teach me some things on the weekends that she learned each week, and by the end of each year, maybe we will have a larger and larger sign language vocabulary. We are both ready, willing, and able to learn--hopefully we can succeed!
. That was the inspiration of the "norm" comment I made. You're right...it is pretty hard to isolate a hearing child from spoken language as it is all around the child (we hope anyways)...but I was more so emphasizing the viewpoint. So many comments are made innocently and with good intentions but in reality those comments implies that English is superior to ASL, which is in my view - unfair and untrue. That was the point I was trying to get across. Hope this makes more sense.
