Enough is Enough...

[LoveBlue]

I'll be happy to explain my reaction. I do not believe that the poster was intentionally trying to be rude...but I do believe that that kind of mindset is why we are divided. As long as one side thinks the other is superior, there will always be a division. No need for it. Let me show you MY perspective as a deaf person, and what I was feeling/thinking to myself when I read it.

1. It is NOT a hearing world. It is a world, period. The world is diverse and it is full of both hearing and deaf people. Yes, we are in the minority but so are blacks. You don't go around saying it's a white world. That would be insulting to the blacks, wouldn't it? Calling it a hearing world means I'm living in a foreign country or something. No. I live here. It's my world, too.

2. I am NOT handicapped. I'm especially not handicapped because I happen to be deaf. I am perfectly capable of being an independent adult. Besides, the word "handicapped" is outdated...technically, if needed, use the word "disabled." I'm not disabled, either.

3. There are many jobs that HEARING people can't do either. Not all of us are meant to be rocket scientists.

4. Sound does NOT mean language.

5. You don't have to hear sound to be able to have a relationship with sound. When I feel thumping down the hall, I know my child is running when she is supposed to be walking.

6. You cannot compare deaf babies with CI to hearing babies.

7. I was born with profound hearing loss and I talk just fine...withOUT a CI.

8. Hearing is important for safety? Bullshit. When there's a ambulance behind my car, I'm usually the one that notices it before my hearing family members. I have very good keen senses and to suggest that my safety or the safety of others are in jeopardy because of my hearing loss is absurd.

9. Hearing is NOT needed for communication.

10. And I'm proud of my cow horn. *Toot, toot!*


And if a deaf person wants a CI, by all means, go for it. If a parent wants to implant their children, fine by me. CI is a great tool. It doesn't work with every child, but as long as you do what you can, then you have my support. I have MANY deaf friends with CIs who love it. They are always egging me to get one, but I don't qualify. What I don't like is when someone says that a CI is needed because being deaf is so awful and so handicapping that they need to fix the problem. That's insulting to me as a person and to me as a member of the Deaf community.

Make sense?

 

[GrendelQ]

3. There are many jobs that HEARING people can't do either. Not all of us are meant to be rocket scientists.

...

And if a deaf person wants a CI, by all means, go for it. If a parent wants to implant their children, fine by me. CI is a great tool. It doesn't work with every child, but as long as you do what you can, then you have my support. I have MANY deaf friends with CIs who love it. They are always egging me to get one, but I don't qualify. What I don't like is when someone says that a CI is needed because being deaf is so awful and so handicapping that they need to fix the problem. That's insulting to me as a person and to me as a member of the Deaf community.

Make sense?

DBG, great post! Especially the points above. #3 made me laugh ... in fact, it's still making me laugh, because it's very true. Sometimes the people who mention what they see as potential limitations for my daughter -- whether because of her deafness or her CIs -- are those who are most limited themselves (and not bc of deafness).

 

[sallylou]

I'd love to respond to that tirade about how handicapped I am, but apparently I am too impaired to do so.

People who believe those tired stereotypes about deaf people are cognitively impaired. :roll:

 

[Steinhauer]

I'd love to respond to that tirade about how handicapped I am, but apparently I am too impaired to do so.

People who believe those tired stereotypes about deaf people are cognitively impaired. :roll:

Yep.

 

[Bottesini]

I'd love to respond to that tirade about how handicapped I am, but apparently I am too impaired to do so.

People who believe those tired stereotypes about deaf people are cognitively impaired. :roll:

Yep.

Yes!

 

[jillio]

Yes I do.

OOPS! My bad. I thought you had said earlier that you didn't. Aplogies.

 

[Frisky Feline]

OOPS! My bad. I thought you had said earlier that you didn't. Aplogies.

me either. I didnt know jenny have children.

 

[jillio]

In your never ending quest to attack first and ask questions later, you failed to notice the OP's request:

"Does anyone know of a supportive online community for parents with deaf/hoh children?"

In response to her request, I suggested the ci circle which has long been a source of information and support for parents of deaf children. Thus I was not "limiting" information but rather, responding to the OP's request.

I am not going to engage in your silly comparison between AD and the ci circle, each has its own place and perspective but to suggest that AD offers a "wider" perspective when it condones the ravings and rantings of a hearing woman, who thinks she is Deaf, who did not implant her child, who after 25 years only knows 35 implanted people, who still opposes cochlear implants for children and who refers to cochlear implant surgery for children as torture, then you are right: the ci circle thankfully has a somewhat narrower and saner perspective.

CI Circle focuses on children who have been or are anticipating implantation. A very small minority of all deaf/HOH children. That needs to be known to anyone requesting information.

AD is more representative of the deaf/Deaf community than the CI circle. A hearing parent with questions regarding real life implications of living with deafness is much better off asking those questions in a forum that represents deaf individuals themselves, not parental beliefs (quite often skewed and mistaken) of what deafness is.

If anyone rants and raves, it is you. You only come in to rant and rave about the miracles of CI and the wonderful advantages of an oral only environment.

Again with the deliberate attempt to twist my words and my posts. You really are the lowest of the low. But that's okay. Everyone figured that out eons ago. Your posts speak for themselves.

 

[jillio]

Well PFH Rick 48 sure does DETECT bs from you- real shovels full!

Implanted Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

You haven't been around long enough to know where the BS is coming from, obviously. And a good portion of it is coming straight from your posts. Why don't you do as rick48 suggested, and click your way on over to the CI Circle?

As far as playing out your personal grudges, you are old enough to know that should be done in PM. For a seventy year old man, you are behaving in a very juvenile manner.

 

[jillio]

I'll be happy to explain my reaction. I do not believe that the poster was intentionally trying to be rude...but I do believe that that kind of mindset is why we are divided. As long as one side thinks the other is superior, there will always be a division. No need for it. Let me show you MY perspective as a deaf person, and what I was feeling/thinking to myself when I read it.

1. It is NOT a hearing world. It is a world, period. The world is diverse and it is full of both hearing and deaf people. Yes, we are in the minority but so are blacks. You don't go around saying it's a white world. That would be insulting to the blacks, wouldn't it? Calling it a hearing world means I'm living in a foreign country or something. No. I live here. It's my world, too.

2. I am NOT handicapped. I'm especially not handicapped because I happen to be deaf. I am perfectly capable of being an independent adult. Besides, the word "handicapped" is outdated...technically, if needed, use the word "disabled." I'm not disabled, either.

3. There are many jobs that HEARING people can't do either. Not all of us are meant to be rocket scientists.

4. Sound does NOT mean language.

5. You don't have to hear sound to be able to have a relationship with sound. When I feel thumping down the hall, I know my child is running when she is supposed to be walking.

6. You cannot compare deaf babies with CI to hearing babies.

7. I was born with profound hearing loss and I talk just fine...withOUT a CI.

8. Hearing is important for safety? Bullshit. When there's a ambulance behind my car, I'm usually the one that notices it before my hearing family members. I have very good keen senses and to suggest that my safety or the safety of others are in jeopardy because of my hearing loss is absurd.

9. Hearing is NOT needed for communication.

10. And I'm proud of my cow horn. *Toot, toot!*


And if a deaf person wants a CI, by all means, go for it. If a parent wants to implant their children, fine by me. CI is a great tool. It doesn't work with every child, but as long as you do what you can, then you have my support. I have MANY deaf friends with CIs who love it. They are always egging me to get one, but I don't qualify. What I don't like is when someone says that a CI is needed because being deaf is so awful and so handicapping that they need to fix the problem. That's insulting to me as a person and to me as a member of the Deaf community.

Make sense?

Another excellent post!

 

[JennyB]

OOPS! My bad. I thought you had said earlier that you didn't. Aplogies.

No Worries, I am not sure if I have ever mentioned it here before.

 

[jillio]

No Worries, I am not sure if I have ever mentioned it here before.

Explains your indepth understanding of parental issues. I thought you just had an amazing ability to empathize!:P (Which you actually do, but the most effective empathy is built on life experience that can be applied to other situations).

 

[JennyB]

Explains your indepth understanding of parental issues. I thought you just had an amazing ability to empathize!:P (Which you actually do, but the most effective empathy is built on life experience that can be applied to other situations).

My daughter has autism and has a severe hearing loss. I get it for sure and certainly does help my work.

 

[Speedy Hawk]

I'll be happy to explain my reaction. I do not believe that the poster was intentionally trying to be rude...but I do believe that that kind of mindset is why we are divided. As long as one side thinks the other is superior, there will always be a division. No need for it. Let me show you MY perspective as a deaf person, and what I was feeling/thinking to myself when I read it.

1. It is NOT a hearing world. It is a world, period. The world is diverse and it is full of both hearing and deaf people. Yes, we are in the minority but so are blacks. You don't go around saying it's a white world. That would be insulting to the blacks, wouldn't it? Calling it a hearing world means I'm living in a foreign country or something. No. I live here. It's my world, too.

2. I am NOT handicapped. I'm especially not handicapped because I happen to be deaf. I am perfectly capable of being an independent adult. Besides, the word "handicapped" is outdated...technically, if needed, use the word "disabled." I'm not disabled, either.

3. There are many jobs that HEARING people can't do either. Not all of us are meant to be rocket scientists.

4. Sound does NOT mean language.

5. You don't have to hear sound to be able to have a relationship with sound. When I feel thumping down the hall, I know my child is running when she is supposed to be walking.

6. You cannot compare deaf babies with CI to hearing babies.

7. I was born with profound hearing loss and I talk just fine...withOUT a CI.

8. Hearing is important for safety? Bullshit. When there's a ambulance behind my car, I'm usually the one that notices it before my hearing family members. I have very good keen senses and to suggest that my safety or the safety of others are in jeopardy because of my hearing loss is absurd.

9. Hearing is NOT needed for communication.

10. And I'm proud of my cow horn. *Toot, toot!*


And if a deaf person wants a CI, by all means, go for it. If a parent wants to implant their children, fine by me. CI is a great tool. It doesn't work with every child, but as long as you do what you can, then you have my support. I have MANY deaf friends with CIs who love it. They are always egging me to get one, but I don't qualify. What I don't like is when someone says that a CI is needed because being deaf is so awful and so handicapping that they need to fix the problem. That's insulting to me as a person and to me as a member of the Deaf community.

Make sense?

Very good post!

 

[shel90]

It is part of HIS life

Wow...words have never rung truer. I have to totally agree with this along with Deafbajagal's post.

Audism should not be accepted here.

 

[rebeccalj]

Posts like these are how the fights start...

"Hearing is important for safety and communication"

Oh brother..iam so out of here.

Yeah, I read that and I was like, WTF? :roll:

Ask victims of rape, primarily hearies, how hearing helped them be safe. :roll:

 

[rebeccalj]

When I first saw it, I had to leave the thread.

Me too.:roll:

 

[rebeccalj]

Trust me, we do understand where you and your husband are coming from. I am the parent of a deaf son, now an adult. I went through exactly what you are going through. I sought the advise and the nurturing of the Deaf community, and because I paid attention to what they told me, and applied it to my son, I have a healthy, happy, bi-lingual adult child that is comfortable with both hearing and deaf/Deaf, and is a successful graduate student at a major hearing university. It was not oral education that facilitated that. It was not an HA or a CI that facillitated that. It was the teaching that the Deaf provided for me in order that I might make decisions regarding my son that included the whole child, and not just his ears and his mouth.

And, please, do not take posts that are made to other hearing parents as applying to you personally. All hearing parents are not the same! **smile**

:clap:

I agree. Sometimes, when I read posts from hearie parents I *read* my Mum. Closed off to the reality that I am different and view the world in unique way. Not want me to be deaf. Not want me to sign. Sign, my native language and something that came so natural to me but taken away too young. Want me to speak like other *normal* kids. Think her approach right, right. Deaf approach wrong, wrong. She knows better than those who *LIVE* with this day in and day out. :roll:

My Mum never grieve for the fact that I will never hear her play violin. Mum grieve that I will never hear her play piano. Mum grieve that I come with extra work. Always have to be aware of dangers and surroundings even when no longer toddler.

I feel sorry for those who insist that there is nothing to grieve. If you carry a child to term, and I have, my wish was they would not be Deaf. Cross fingers they not be Deaf. I hope for healthy child. Even straight child that will get married and have family. Child that won't be ridiculed or taunted by society. Child that won't be looked down on.

When you adopt a child it is very, very different. People that struggle with infertility, or whatever the reason, are *SO* grateful to have child they are thankful to have child no matter what the challenge might be. There is nothing really to grieve if you know, going into parenthood, what the challenges are. Or, maybe the grieving is less. Hoping for perfectly healthy child but get one with challenge instead. But, I still think grieving is more for parents who go through pregnancy, and all the fantasy of what will my child be like, only to find out that things aren't quite so textbook like the Disney stories we all read.

Ryancher is a breath of fresh air for me. Wish she were my Mum when I growing up.

 

[GrendelQ]

:clap:

I agree. Sometimes, when I read posts from hearie parents I *read* my Mum. Closed off to the reality that I am different and view the world in unique way. Not want me to be deaf. Not want me to sign.:

I think that most if not all of the hearing parents who post on this site have incorporated sign in their deaf children's lives, or have worked to develop sign as their child's primary language. None are anti-sign.

 

[Bottesini]

:clap:

I agree. Sometimes, when I read posts from hearie parents I *read* my Mum. Closed off to the reality that I am different and view the world in unique way. Not want me to be deaf. Not want me to sign. Sign, my native language and something that came so natural to me but taken away too young. Want me to speak like other *normal* kids. Think her approach right, right. Deaf approach wrong, wrong. She knows better than those who *LIVE* with this day in and day out. :roll:

My Mum never grieve for the fact that I will never hear her play violin. Mum grieve that I will never hear her play piano. Mum grieve that I come with extra work. Always have to be aware of dangers and surroundings even when no longer toddler.

I feel sorry for those who insist that there is nothing to grieve. If you carry a child to term, and I have, my wish was they would not be Deaf. Cross fingers they not be Deaf. I hope for healthy child. Even straight child that will get married and have family. Child that won't be ridiculed or taunted by society. Child that won't be looked down on.

When you adopt a child it is very, very different. People that struggle with infertility, or whatever the reason, are *SO* grateful to have child they are thankful to have child no matter what the challenge might be. There is nothing really to grieve if you know, going into parenthood, what the challenges are. Or, maybe the grieving is less. Hoping for perfectly healthy child but get one with challenge instead. But, I still think grieving is more for parents who go through pregnancy, and all the fantasy of what will my child be like, only to find out that things aren't quite so textbook like the Disney stories we all read.

Ryancher is a breath of fresh air for me. Wish she were my Mum when I growing up.

Can't wait until PFH sees this one.