Does this happened to you too?

SkullChick

SkullChick

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Today I was trying to talk to some of my old friends from oregon where I grew up in, and about 5 of them totally shut me out when I IMed them in AIM and went like this "me: hey" "them: bye *sign off*" and one stayed to talk and when she asked me why I got CI and I said my reason of course and mentioned I'll get other ear implanted in 5-15 years with better technology and she interrupted me saying "no! I don't want better technology deaf community will be gone! All parents will implant all deaf babies with better technology and become hearing!" and when I said no because ci is only for bilateral profound hearing loss and there's million of people that have too much more of hearing and also asl is 3rd most popular language in usa and ci don't makes anyone hearing and she signed off, damn what's the hell was that all about?

It hurt my feeling because I got CI so I can hear its not FAIR people don't care if hoh wear hearing aid and hear almost like normal is ok and profoundly deaf wear CI and hear a lot is not ok.
People need to grow up and respect my wish for wanting to hear and I'm still me, I'm same person I'm still deaf why some people don't see that?
It suck now I only have 2 friends to talk to on AIM :(

Does that happen to you when your friends you grew up with and know you for many years all suddenly shut you out because you got CI? And how did you deal with it?
 
Sorry to hear you are being treated that way just cause you want to hear what is going on around you. You are welcome to im me if you want and I wouldn't mind another friend. :)
 
Welcome to the bionic club :)

I was activated last year. Some of my deaf friends were weird out by my decision to get a CI. But if they are someone who's really close to you they will support your decision. Those who say otherwise simply don't understand you well enough to be called a friend.

PM me if you wanna talk more =)
 
The friends of yours needs to understand the situation and accept what you are. It is not their decision about the CI. It is yours and you took it. They should accept. I accepted a friend of mine, who has it. Really, nothing affects me or others. I believe there is should have another way to explain and that wouldn't affect their friendship, you know what I mean?
 
I don't have cochlear implants nor do I plan on getting one in the near future. I hear fine with my BTE hearing aid. However, I do have friends who have been treated that way. It was usually because of the others who were part of the "Deaf Pride" culture. They believed that CI is something like "the ultimate anti-deaf thing" and that any deaf who gets CI should not have the privilege of being called deaf anymore. My friends often feel left out when they're among other deafies because of the views on CIs.

I believe that it's not the CI that changes you, but how you decide to change yourself.

I use sign language. I'm deaf. I consider myself deaf (or hard-of-hearing). If I ever got CI, I would still use sign language. I would still keep in touch with my deaf friends. I would still see hearing and deaf people the same way. The only thing different is that I can hear better, but that doesn't mean that I should be with hearing people and not deaf people. If I turned off my CI, what would I be? Of course, I'd be DEAF! That will never change.

If your friends won't talk to you because of your CI, then they aren't your true friends. True friends don't let physical changes affect them. If you lost your arm or became blind, true friends wouldn't let that change them.

It's also important to acknowledge your true identity and not to let CI change your life for worse. :)
 
VamPyroX said:
I don't have cochlear implants nor do I plan on getting one in the near future. I hear fine with my BTE hearing aid. However, I do have friends who have been treated that way. It was usually because of the others who were part of the "Deaf Pride" culture. They believed that CI is something like "the ultimate anti-deaf thing" and that any deaf who gets CI should not have the privilege of being called deaf anymore. My friends often feel left out when they're among other deafies because of the views on CIs.

I believe that it's not the CI that changes you, but how you decide to change yourself.

I use sign language. I'm deaf. I consider myself deaf (or hard-of-hearing). If I ever got CI, I would still use sign language. I would still keep in touch with my deaf friends. I would still see hearing and deaf people the same way. The only thing different is that I can hear better, but that doesn't mean that I should be with hearing people and not deaf people. If I turned off my CI, what would I be? Of course, I'd be DEAF! That will never change.

If your friends won't talk to you because of your CI, then they aren't your true friends. True friends don't let physical changes affect them. If you lost your arm or became blind, true friends wouldn't let that change them.

It's also important to acknowledge your true identity and not to let CI change your life for worse. :)
Click to expand...

Good Posting! that's a true statement of friends. It's amazing how things makes you find out who your friends are or not.
 
VamPyroX said:
I don't have cochlear implants nor do I plan on getting one in the near future. I hear fine with my BTE hearing aid. However, I do have friends who have been treated that way. It was usually because of the others who were part of the "Deaf Pride" culture. They believed that CI is something like "the ultimate anti-deaf thing" and that any deaf who gets CI should not have the privilege of being called deaf anymore. My friends often feel left out when they're among other deafies because of the views on CIs.

I believe that it's not the CI that changes you, but how you decide to change yourself.

I use sign language. I'm deaf. I consider myself deaf (or hard-of-hearing). If I ever got CI, I would still use sign language. I would still keep in touch with my deaf friends. I would still see hearing and deaf people the same way. The only thing different is that I can hear better, but that doesn't mean that I should be with hearing people and not deaf people. If I turned off my CI, what would I be? Of course, I'd be DEAF! That will never change.

If your friends won't talk to you because of your CI, then they aren't your true friends. True friends don't let physical changes affect them. If you lost your arm or became blind, true friends wouldn't let that change them.

It's also important to acknowledge your true identity and not to let CI change your life for worse. :)
Click to expand...

Vampy's right. Turning off an CI equals that you're deaf again. It doesn't matter if CI or HA it remains the same - only to hear 'better'. The friends of yours should have the understanding and they shouldn't affect at all. Vampy, do you think the deaf community would disappear anytime soon? I don't think so! By the way, well said, Vampy.
 
Yeah but it suck because I'm never really good at making friends and old friends just don't want talk to me anymore, but I'm in new place and I should start making new friends and hopefully some friendship stick and last long time.
I know I totally agree about CI not changing anything about person and still deaf CI doesn't makes any difference in personality only gained the ability to hear that's it.

You guys are sweet about saying I can pm/im you guys, thanks :)
 
All my friends have been so supported. If anything I have made new friends because of being involved with other CI people. It has opened up a huge group to me. There is a group of people who have a hard time getting past the CIs, oh well I don't need them. I need to be around people who see me not my device.

If there is anyone who does not accept you for you, you don't need them. I know it is hard and it hurts.

5-15 years I will not be able to enjoy the sounds I heard today. Live for today!
 
SkullChick said:
Yeah but it suck because I'm never really good at making friends and old friends just don't want talk to me anymore, but I'm in new place and I should start making new friends and hopefully some friendship stick and last long time.
I know I totally agree about CI not changing anything about person and still deaf CI doesn't makes any difference in personality only gained the ability to hear that's it.

You guys are sweet about saying I can pm/im you guys, thanks :)
Click to expand...

That's true -- give it time, and you'll do just fine. Remember you have someone with you to support all along. ;) If you need anything we can help, IM or PM anyone who is willing to have a coversation in regards of the CI. And also, these friends, of yours who tries to dump you, remember what Vampy just said - 'Not true friends' ..... well, it's their loss, really.
 
I know what you going through and I been there where u are now. I have lots of deaf friends are pretty much against me getting C.I., but as I explained that just because I want to have C.I. does not means I am a changed person, I still be the same caring loving friends as they know me the way I am and still continue to use ASL and be in deaf world as I am in hearing world. Getting C.I. was a personal choice for me. If they really can't accpet my choice of what I do just to hear better, Then they are not my true friends. Friends don't turn your back on you. Friends are suppose to be supportive, be there for you no matter what choice you decide to do. Some deaf friends are still my closes friends and accpet my choice and not treat me any different. :)
 
U live close to MD, New York, and VA. The Deaf communities in those states are pretty open-minded about CIs cuz there are so many CI users in those Deaf communities.

AS for the other states where the Deaf community is much smaller, there will be more resistance to people who have CIs cuz they dont understand that having a CI changes the person. It is up to the person if they want to change or not by having a CI.

I suggest to let those people go as they are not being understanding and start a new life on the East coast. I know that the NYC Deaf community has so many CI users.

Sorry about that and hope u feel better! :)
 
shel90 said:
U live close to MD, New York, and VA. The Deaf communities in those states are pretty open-minded about CIs cuz there are so many CI users in those Deaf communities.

AS for the other states where the Deaf community is much smaller, there will be more resistance to people who have CIs cuz they dont understand that having a CI changes the person. It is up to the person if they want to change or not by having a CI.

I suggest to let those people go as they are not being understanding and start a new life on the East coast. I know that the NYC Deaf community has so many CI users.

Sorry about that and hope u feel better! :)
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Yep,, that why I let go some of my friends who are against me getting C.I. made me realized they are not really true friends, if they ever have a heart to keep an open mind and respect a person choice.
 
SkullChick said:
Yeah but it suck because I'm never really good at making friends and old friends just don't want talk to me anymore, but I'm in new place and I should start making new friends and hopefully some friendship stick and last long time.
I know I totally agree about CI not changing anything about person and still deaf CI doesn't makes any difference in personality only gained the ability to hear that's it.
Click to expand...

I, too, suck at making friends. Out of the whole state of NJ, I only have one really good friend. I do have other friends, but they're umm...nevermind. :)

I have not yet experienced the "shunning" of having the CI yet. Many of my friends already have CI, and there's some non-CIers that doesn't know that I have it yet. Honestly, I really don't have any friends that I feel that would push me away because I have CI.

I really really, again, really hate it when some people think that CI is a cure, and some people think that it's a threat to Deaf Culture.

I've said it once, and I'm going to keep saying it over and over - CI IS NOT A CURE DAMN IT! CI IS NOT A THREAT TO DEAF CULTURE!

It all comes down to EDUCATION! EDUCATION! Not just Hearing Parents, but Deaf people who thinks CI doesn't belong in Deaf Culture. Many do not understand what CI is. To me, it's just a better hearing aid. What more is it? I'm not going to elaborate on this...that's not the issue.

SkullChick - Since we're going through the exact same process at pretty much exact same time...(same ear too!) I'm here for ya! And honestly, if your friends pushes you away just because you have CI, then they're not being very supportive for your process. It's not an easy process. It's not that we just have our heads cut open, put in the implant, have the processor snapped on , and BOOM..we're hearing. It's a long process. There will be bad days/good days/ and even BETTER days! I'm longing to hear the sounds of crickets. I'm tired of having my family telling me how annoying crickets are and they ask me to listen. :roll:

If a "friend" shunned me like what happened to you, I'll just tell them to F**k off. That simple.
:grouphug:
 
LadySekhmet said:
I, too, suck at making friends. Out of the whole state of NJ, I only have one really good friend. I do have other friends, but they're umm...nevermind. :)

I have not yet experienced the "shunning" of having the CI yet. Many of my friends already have CI, and there's some non-CIers that doesn't know that I have it yet. Honestly, I really don't have any friends that I feel that would push me away because I have CI.

I really really, again, really hate it when some people think that CI is a cure, and some people think that it's a threat to Deaf Culture.

I've said it once, and I'm going to keep saying it over and over - CI IS NOT A CURE DAMN IT! CI IS NOT A THREAT TO DEAF CULTURE!

It all comes down to EDUCATION! EDUCATION! Not just Hearing Parents, but Deaf people who thinks CI doesn't belong in Deaf Culture. Many do not understand what CI is. To me, it's just a better hearing aid. What more is it? I'm not going to elaborate on this...that's not the issue.

SkullChick - Since we're going through the exact same process at pretty much exact same time...(same ear too!) I'm here for ya! And honestly, if your friends pushes you away just because you have CI, then they're not being very supportive for your process. It's not an easy process. It's not that we just have our heads cut open, put in the implant, have the processor snapped on , and BOOM..we're hearing. It's a long process. There will be bad days/good days/ and even BETTER days! I'm longing to hear the sounds of crickets. I'm tired of having my family telling me how annoying crickets are and they ask me to listen. :roll:

If a "friend" shunned me like what happened to you, I'll just tell them to F**k off. That simple.
:grouphug:
Click to expand...


AMEN!!!!!!!!!!
 
I dont have CI but i know what it's like to be hated on sometimes..dont even listen to those ppl..they are just ignorant to the fact that u want to give yourself the best possible means to hearing and not struggling with listening. Who cares wat they think and hold your head up, u have a bf who loves u alot by the sound of it and probably a great fam and of course all of us here on AD....so like other ad'ers pm me if u wanna chat or ask me for my aim/msn or email:)
Alicia xo
 
In this era, I'd thought deaf adults would accept their friend's choice to get CI. Obviously, there's some who have yet to be tolerant.

Sorry to hear they shunned you because of your choice. In fact, you're better off without them.

Go out and meet new deafies and even talk with some ADers. :)

Hang in there.
 
o I can hear its not FAIR people don't care if hoh wear hearing aid and hear almost like normal is ok and profoundly deaf wear CI and hear a lot is not ok.
Click to expand...
Oh ditto. I find that kinda odd. Definitly give it time........Just about seven-eight years ago NAD was against CI. I remember when a lot of posts in Deaf forums, were anti-CI. Now its a lot more moderate!
Ask your friend if her reaction would be the same if you wore HA.
 
Sorry to hear, and I wish to help you, and I have heard many deaf people thinks too much about ci and avoid them, The reason why is: deaf thinks becomes hearing, but not true, still on deaf world/ and hearing world too. It's human being, we are..... God made us. always. God loves us.. I have alot of freiends, who are deaf, hearing, hoh. any.. I have seen deaf avoid from ci, and dont want be involved, thinks "can hear" but no.. When Iam taking off my ci, and Iam still full deaf.

What is Iam explaining is.. How to explain... I have found ci friend on my ad. It's a great experience for me.


I have nucleus freedom: Right ear: implanted on 02/28/2007, activation: 03/27/2007 and my left ear: 01/02/2008, will activation soon: 02/5/2008

Richard
 
I know of someone who was "shunned" from the deaf community just because she got a CI for herself.
 
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