I've had depression and anxiety all through high school. I'm pretty sure it all started while I was in the 9th grade, but wasn't diagnosed with it until... junior year maybe? or late sophomore year. I forget. Saw the doctor that my dad had been seeing for his own depression problems (depression runs in the family from my dad's side of the family). He examined me, talked to my mom (because I refused to talk to him), etc. Started me on a low dose of Zoloft and we went from there. A couple times it's been increased. The last time it was increased, I think the Zoloft just quit working for me. I was majorly messed up mentally, felt like I couldn't function or concentrate. But when I stopped taking Zoloft on my own (slowly went off it), I started to feel better. But I still struggled for a couple years that I was med-free.
Then a year and half ago, I hit rock bottom again pretty much. DVR counselor was worried, so she referred me to a counselor at the counseling center. I started seeing the counselor, told her I was against meds. She tried to help me cope with the depression so I could live my life. Didn't work, so I slowly agreed to talk to the psychiatrist about medication. Saw the psych, talked to her of my history and such, she thought I should try cymbalta. The first couple weeks on cymbalta, I was tired, not hungry, a zombie basically. But all those side effects have disappeared. It's beem more than a year since I started taking cymbalta and I feel pretty darn good. Granted, I have my down moments, which is normal. And I still go to counseling on a regular basis. I'm surprised I didn't hit rock bottom when my baby nephew died shortly after birth (that was what really caused my depression to blow up in my face, a death in the family). I think being on cymbalta, and having gone to counseling on a regular basis has helped me to cope with life better, even when something really bad happens. The couple weeks after the baby's death was rough on me, but I got through it. I'm still coping with the baby's death today, but I'm also still moving on, living life, working and trying to keep myself busy so that I don't get so bored.
I don't like being depressed. But I'm going to be living with it forever. It's in my genes, I can't escape it. I'll definitely be continuing with my cymbalta, and with the counseling sessions, just to keep my depression under control. I would hate for my depression to get so bad again that I want to live in a black hole. No thanks.