Do You Suffer From Clinical Depression or Bipolar Disorder?

I have experienced with dysmatic depression (on and off). I suspected that I might have Bipolar disorder, but I am not sure because I am moody sometimes. Blame on my genetics. :ugh3:

I twice took Effexor tablets in different dosages. They did not work well for me. I hated them so much and I quit immediately after taking one tablet in different dosage.
 
I have been depressed for the past week. I had a major disruption in my life. and I am scared and don't know what to do. Please do not ask what had happened, but I just need some advice on how to get through a very dark time.

I have considered in getting some sort of counseling to help me and my children.
as I'm typing right now I am in tears. and don't know what to do. I know I am depressed because I can not eat, I can not sleep. Today was the first full day of work I had in a week. and it was hard to do that. I am not giving up my job or my life. I am just scared and sad right now. and sick of feeling this way.

It sounds as if you are experiencing "situational depression". That is a depression related to a traumatic event in your life. It does not require medication to manage it, but, please, Babyblue, seek counseling for yourself and your children. Children, in particular, will often hide their depression because they don't want to further upset a parent, and as a consequence, suffer more consequences. Please, seek counseling. The first step is reaching out, and you have done that. If you want to talk with me on pm, I am available to you.
 
I was diagnosed with manic depression in 1996. I was told by a therapist that it all started when my parents divorced at the age of 8. I'm not sure if that's what it is but it might be. My grandfather that means the world to me passed away in 1994, that nearly killed me. I went into depression for a while. I got better and moved on with my life.. Went to college with my high school boyfriend. That's why I knew I needed help. I caught my ex boyfriend with another girl in bed and I ran up the stairs and tried to jump out of the 4th floor window. For a some reason, my ex grabbed my shirt and pulled me back. He said.. "go home to your family" I just laid there and thought.. that might be a good idea so I called home and told my mother what happened. I flew home the next day. The dr said I had a depression. No medication. I met a man that I thought I would live with for the rest of my life and turns out he was abusive and I was "trapped". That's when my life turned upside down for many years. suicide attempts, negative thoughts, low self esteem, etc. I was put on medications (it made me crazy, it made me not the person I am) Finally I left my ex husband. I met another man. a big mistake.. I never recovered. it just got worse and worse. I finally hit bottom and went to see a different therapist. I got off my meds. I felt like a huge burden off my chest. I got the old Angela back. I've been off since 2002 and I feel great.



Of course.. I have my days when I feel like crap, bitter, sad, etc. but it doesn't stay like that for days.. just only a day or two..

Its like an addiction. we have to overcome it. have the willpower to beat the obstacles. it works for me.
 
The problem that I have with people with bipolar disorder is the fact that they don't take medication when the medication helps.

I knew a guy who had bipolar disorder. He always thought that people were out to get him. Even though many of us figured that he was also schizophrenic, the faculty/staff members at RIT wouldn't listen to it. So, a lot of people had to avoid him due to restraining orders made by him cuz he claimed that those people would stalk him, chase him, harass him, and plot to "get him". :roll:

I also know a gal who has it worse. She refuses to take medication for "other reasons" and it has gotten to a point where she's so cruel to everyone, calls everyone names, degrades them in every manner possible, etc... just pure concentrated evil!
 
It sounds as if you are experiencing "situational depression". That is a depression related to a traumatic event in your life. It does not require medication to manage it, but, please, Babyblue, seek counseling for yourself and your children. Children, in particular, will often hide their depression because they don't want to further upset a parent, and as a consequence, suffer more consequences. Please, seek counseling. The first step is reaching out, and you have done that. If you want to talk with me on pm, I am available to you.

I am going to seek counseling for my children and I...

jillio, I appreciate the offer for a talk... but this situation is still way too raw for me to talk about...I appreciate the thoughts

Thank you...
 
I am going to seek counseling for my children and I...

jillio, I appreciate the offer for a talk... but this situation is still way too raw for me to talk about...I appreciate the thoughts

Thank you...

Hope you will get better and for your children. If you need jilio she is always here for you. I think she a great gal. Hope for the better not for the worst. :)
 
<--I'm suffering from PTSD--post traumatic stress disorder from the December storms.
 
I think I have it dunno I never seen any counselor, phyiscarist, psychologist or asked doc about anything cuz I assume its normal thing.
But my symptoms match to bipolar disorder someone said above...
Hmm
 
Hope you will get better and for your children. If you need jilio she is always here for you. I think she a great gal. Hope for the better not for the worst. :)

Thank you, GTM. And you are correct. I am always here for anyone that needs to talk. Private and confidential. As a Liscensed Professional Counselor, I am bound by my ethics anytime I have a private conversation with anyone of this nature.
 
I think I have it dunno I never seen any counselor, phyiscarist, psychologist or asked doc about anything cuz I assume its normal thing.
But my symptoms match to bipolar disorder someone said above...
Hmm

If those symtpoms are something that you have experienced for awhile, it would seem normal to you, because it is what you know. In fact, most individuals with bi-polar disorder do not seek help because they feel their mood swings and symptoms are abnormal, but because family members and friends insist that they are abnormal. One gets used to living with the symptoms, and doesn't realize that everyone doesn't experience the same thing. If you think you may be experiencing the symptoms, however, it would be a good idea to seek out a diagnosis, just to be sure.
 
Yes I have Depression since the age of 14 yrs old due to the fact that my dad died from AIDS and people shun my family thinking we all have AIDS but it is not so. you know back then people didnt know any better after all they didnt research in that. Plus my mom stopped buying christmas gifts and birthday gifts after dad died. i hate christmas. it always made me depressed!!!! My mom put me in counseling and I got better and I was not on any medications.

Then after the death of my twin sons in 1995 I got depressed again and didnt want to get out of the bed. I was sent to dr and dr prescribed me medications. it helped somewhat and I turned my life around and was able to go back to working. After my ex left me for other lady I really got depressed worst and wanted to kill myself. They took me home so they could watch me but I escaped by walking drunk on the road back to my apt. it was a LONG walk... 17 miles.. believe it or not! LOL.. I was crazy back then..

anyway.. in 2002 after death of my infant daughter, I got depressed and blow up easily and was moody all times. I was put on medication for that. I got better but I am never the same again as my mom said you are not the same as before because I have anxiety attacks and panic attacks. panic attacks are mild but anxiety attack I have it bad! Always nervous to drive car and too many people at the store. I couldnt breath and I felt stuck and had to get out!

I was able to walk in woods in the past but now? I cant walk there cuz there are SNAKES unless it is winter I will walk there, fine no plms. i am paranoid of them badly! thinking snakes are everywhere.. :(

I am still depressed.. Nothing new.. Losing custody of my son to his father. being alone. and moving back home to my moms last July after separating from my husband and seeing my mom being sick and having to deal with my sister who have bioplar disorder .. yelling at me and all that. I never feel comfy here. I need to get out of here so I can be MYSELF. sigh...
 
Yeah I suffer from it, been to one or two counselors, but they never did much.

To give you a history:
Ever since I can remember Ive always felt like my dad didnt treat me as well as he treated my brother. Ive never had a decent relationship with any man.

When I was 13-14-15 years of age I was being sexually assaulted on a daily basis at school. The guys always groping me, I was nothing more than a sex toy, Because of this I sank into a deep state of depression. I no longer cared if I lived or died. No longer felt like a person. I eventually developed anorexia in a bid to have control of something, since I had no control over the other parts of my life.

When I was 14 - I was also being sexually abused by an uncle - this went on for two years. Having to deal with the groping at school as well as the abuse from my uncle at family functions put me on a constant edge. If there ever was a time I could be considered bitchy, this was the time. I was growling and at the ready to bite anyone's head off. I was getting in trouble at school.

Also during this time my hearing was degrading to the point of needing aids. Because I already had self-image issues, the parents forcing me to wear hearing aids made for several fights. Because of this I refused to wear the aids, I felt like I was losing control of my body, this possibly also contributed to my anorexia.

The anorexia got to the point I was passing out from dehydration, constant dizzyness, and I stopped having my period for about 2 years.

At age 15 I ran away from home, got picked up by the police, taken back home.

My mom suggested I see a therapist, I refused. I wasnt about to be labelled nutso after everything else that had happened.

What also didnt help at all was the fact that I was in athletics and on the basketball team, never once could I remember that my parents were there in the stands. However they made it to all of my brothers football games, junior high through to senior high. I have always felt a sense of resentment because of this. This is a blatant example of how I wasnt the blessed child.

Then in my senior year I witnessed a horrific accident in which a 10 year old girl was ran over from a semi on mainstreet. I narrowly avoided what was left of her body. It was horrific enough I saw her head snap off and roll to the curb. I was messed up for MONTHS over that one. If that wasnt enough, I was the only one on scene that knew where the family of the girl lived - I had to go to her house where her 14 year old brother was babysitting the other siblings while the mother was out with friends. It was the hardest shit Ive ever done to have to tell a kid that hey your sister is laying dead in the street, you need to go identify the body. I went to the funeral and it was the saddest thing. Wendy Lynn Remer was the name of the girl, I'll never forget it. Here I was 18 and taking on the weight of the world.

After that I started drinking, driving with a 'death wish', carrying blades in my mouth, cutting, my ana deteriorated. I was emaciated by this point. 5'4" weighed in at 108 pounds. I would sit there and tears would flow down my face for no reason.

I went to college met my soon to be ex-husband - ended up pregnant, dropped out, married my ex-husband, turned out to be a helluva an abusive relationship. That marriage lasted only 9 months (legally we were married for 18 months). In that process I lost my house, everything. It was like a tornado had ripped my life apart.

Put my everything into becoming an EMT-Basic. Mom and dad never believed in me, mom ruined an opportunity for me to get a job with the local EMS service. Never found any job outside YCEMS, had some crappy jobs. Kept reaching for dreams that would never happen. I left a chicken plant to become an EMT - now here I am right back where I started from, a line worker at a chicken plant.

Sure its a pitiful story, but who cares. Looking back Im just one screw up after another. Ive felt like letting my dreams fade away as Im tired of reaching for dreams that are never realized. Ive been burned out on too many failures.

Ive told myself lately - if I know now what I wishe I knew in high school, I would have just dropped out and gotten it over with. Less heartache.

So right now Im feeling manic depressive. One week Im in a euphoric state, Im feeling alive. Extra talkative, a million thoughts running through my mind, spending my hard earned cash like its going out of style. Or one good example - I had my hair chopped off. Not Britney Spears style but I went from should blade length to a boyish cut, out of the blue no appearent reason.

then I get depressive, I isolate myself from the world as much as possible. I'll skip out on church. There are mornings I have to force myself out of bed to get to work and its all I can do to just get to work, just to get through the normal routine.

Its been a crazy life. There are times I feel like Im undesirable because I know I dont fall into the normal catagory. No one can understand me - and Im OK with that. Ive been pushed and shoved around so many times Ive gotten used to it.

It surely didnt help at all when my dad finally came right out and told me that I was the biggest dissappointment of his life. Ever since that day he's been so much shorter with me, the only thing he says to me is to order me around like a puppy. Oh well I'll get used to it, always have. It just means he threw the rest of the relationship out and then turned around and complained I treated him like shit.

Thats OK though if Ive never had a good relationship with him, I dont feel like Im missing out on much anyway.
 
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Oh and by the way, I forgot to mention, I suffer from hypomania and not mania making me (according to my doctors) a type 2 bipolar patient.
 
i suffered depression for years since i was 12 years old and got worse last year i was crying all the time and did not get out of bed even spend my time in my room. this year i am feeling alright but not whole but i am in therapy for my depression and etc... it is working a little still need more work.
 
Yeah I suffer from it, been to one or two counselors, but they never did much.

To give you a history:
Ever since I can remember Ive always felt like my dad didnt treat me as well as he treated my brother. Ive never had a decent relationship with any man.

When I was 13-14-15 years of age I was being sexually assaulted on a daily basis at school. The guys always groping me, I was nothing more than a sex toy, Because of this I sank into a deep state of depression. I no longer cared if I lived or died. No longer felt like a person. I eventually developed anorexia in a bid to have control of something, since I had no control over the other parts of my life.

When I was 14 - I was also being sexually abused by an uncle - this went on for two years. Having to deal with the groping at school as well as the abuse from my uncle at family functions put me on a constant edge. If there ever was a time I could be considered bitchy, this was the time. I was growling and at the ready to bite anyone's head off. I was getting in trouble at school.

Also during this time my hearing was degrading to the point of needing aids. Because I already had self-image issues, the parents forcing me to wear hearing aids made for several fights. Because of this I refused to wear the aids, I felt like I was losing control of my body, this possibly also contributed to my anorexia.

The anorexia got to the point I was passing out from dehydration, constant dizzyness, and I stopped having my period for about 2 years.

At age 15 I ran away from home, got picked up by the police, taken back home.

My mom suggested I see a therapist, I refused. I wasnt about to be labelled nutso after everything else that had happened.

What also didnt help at all was the fact that I was in athletics and on the basketball team, never once could I remember that my parents were there in the stands. However they made it to all of my brothers football games, junior high through to senior high. I have always felt a sense of resentment because of this. This is a blatant example of how I wasnt the blessed child.

Then in my senior year I witnessed a horrific accident in which a 10 year old girl was ran over from a semi on mainstreet. I narrowly avoided what was left of her body. It was horrific enough I saw her head snap off and roll to the curb. I was messed up for MONTHS over that one. If that wasnt enough, I was the only one on scene that knew where the family of the girl lived - I had to go to her house where her 14 year old brother was babysitting the other siblings while the mother was out with friends. It was the hardest shit Ive ever done to have to tell a kid that hey your sister is laying dead in the street, you need to go identify the body. I went to the funeral and it was the saddest thing. Wendy Lynn Remer was the name of the girl, I'll never forget it. Here I was 18 and taking on the weight of the world.

After that I started drinking, driving with a 'death wish', carrying blades in my mouth, cutting, my ana deteriorated. I was emaciated by this point. 5'4" weighed in at 108 pounds. I would sit there and tears would flow down my face for no reason.

I went to college met my soon to be ex-husband - ended up pregnant, dropped out, married my ex-husband, turned out to be a helluva an abusive relationship. That marriage lasted only 9 months (legally we were married for 18 months). In that process I lost my house, everything. It was like a tornado had ripped my life apart.

Put my everything into becoming an EMT-Basic. Mom and dad never believed in me, mom ruined an opportunity for me to get a job with the local EMS service. Never found any job outside YCEMS, had some crappy jobs. Kept reaching for dreams that would never happen. I left a chicken plant to become an EMT - now here I am right back where I started from, a line worker at a chicken plant.

Sure its a pitiful story, but who cares. Looking back Im just one screw up after another. Ive felt like letting my dreams fade away as Im tired of reaching for dreams that are never realized. Ive been burned out on too many failures.

Ive told myself lately - if I know now what I wishe I knew in high school, I would have just dropped out and gotten it over with. Less heartache.

So right now Im feeling manic depressive. One week Im in a euphoric state, Im feeling alive. Extra talkative, a million thoughts running through my mind, spending my hard earned cash like its going out of style. Or one good example - I had my hair chopped off. Not Britney Spears style but I went from should blade length to a boyish cut, out of the blue no appearent reason.

then I get depressive, I isolate myself from the world as much as possible. I'll skip out on church. There are mornings I have to force myself out of bed to get to work and its all I can do to just get to work, just to get through the normal routine.

Its been a crazy life. There are times I feel like Im undesirable because I know I dont fall into the normal catagory. No one can understand me - and Im OK with that. Ive been pushed and shoved around so many times Ive gotten used to it.

It surely didnt help at all when my dad finally came right out and told me that I was the biggest dissappointment of his life. Ever since that day he's been so much shorter with me, the only thing he says to me is to order me around like a puppy. Oh well I'll get used to it, always have. It just means he threw the rest of the relationship out and then turned around and complained I treated him like shit.

Thats OK though if Ive never had a good relationship with him, I dont feel like Im missing out on much anyway.

I am sorry. I strongly doubt that you have "problems." Obviously, that your parents are in deep denial because they have hard time accepting your disability (hearing loss). My hugs to you.

Speaking of weight, I weighed at 72 lbs (I am only 5'3.5") due to some illness (hyperthryoidism). I never knew about it until my doctor found the diagnosis through blood work. I looked so shit at 72 lbs. Now, I am at 125 lbs (little bit meaty).
 
Dixie i Understand your pains. sometimes I resent my sisters cuz they get attention like flowers and valentines day gifts just cuz they live in same county when I didnt. I live in Little Rock too far ? so i never got any valentines gift or birthday flowers when my sisters did? its not fair i guess my parents forgot about me? my dad never learning sign language.. my mom always do stuffs for me and not let me do my stuffs till i stood my ground up and told her i am adult and i can do it. she gulped but she still do it sometimes and i had to remind her! sigh..

i todl my sisters this.. but my sisters said you are lucky cuz you get to go on trips out of state and go swimmimng every day at school. Yeah talking about being stuck at school every week? when they are lucky can watch tv anytime they wanted to? i have to watch tv as long as all kids agree on? oh well.. ha..

i guess i am still sane.. ha.. :D
 
You know that I was looking over some websites dealing with the illness and found that a small group of doctors feel that bipolar can be controlled (somewhat) via cognition. Now I initially disagree with this information but nonetheless I will look into it.
 
I discovered this book that claims that bipolar could be controlled via ones thinking. I find it hard to believe but I will read it out of curiosity. This is the book:

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These are the major points discused in the book:

1. Introduction to the Second Edition
2. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Bipolar Disorder: An Overview
3. Medication Treatments for Bipolar Disorder
4. Enhancing Adherence
5. Compliance Contracts
6. Early Detection to Prevent Relapse
7. Management of Behavioral Symptoms: Trigger Control and Increasing Positives
8. Management of Behavioral Symptoms: Controlling Negatives
9. Management of Cognitive Symptoms: Content Changes
10. Management of Cognitive Symptoms: Process Changes
11. Stress Management
12. Addressing Problems in Interpersonal Communication
13. Putting Together a Treatment Program

Chapters 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 12 are the sections I have the most interest in reading.
 
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