Decision

[Oceanbreeze]

MODS:

If this thread is in the wrong place, please move it as it's about CI blogs.

Thank you.


I decided tonight to delete the CI blogs I've read over the last few years. The reason being a simple one. I'm pissed off at what I'm reading and I realized that by reading these blasted things, I am secondarily supporting these parents and their methods. In actuality, the more I read about some of these "journeys", the more sickened and angry I get.

I constantly read statements like... "My child works harder than anyone I know. I'm SO proud of him!" And, I think to myself... This poor kid is ONLY in preschool school! Why do you force this kid to work harder than any other four year old when you could have given that child ASL; instead of forcing an oral only environment on your kid?" or... I read about the elementary school child who's had repeated re-implantation due to failure caused by infection, and, I think... "Why don't you just quit already? You are RISKING this child's life, you ditz!"

It sickens me. It saddens me. So, as of now, I'm done with the blogs. Soon as I finish typing this thread, I'm going to my bookmarks and hitting delete. I don't condone perpetual speech therapy, AVT, "working hard" when the child should be out with his or her friends. Parents who plan "Mommy boot camps" and so on...

I apologize if I sound angry. I AM angry. I'm also frustrated. These are children and they should have a childhood. They shouldn't have to work hard to speak. So, on that note... I'm going on my delete fest....

 

[Frisky Feline]

I don't read anyone's blogs but i understand what you mean. I do not want to get emotional over any blogs to read with.


again, some kids do enjoy going like the situation what you read in the blogs and let them be. Life goes on.

stay cool!

 

[KristinaB]

I totally agree with you OB. Children need to be children no matter is they have to have all this therapy or not. I know with my daughter we were told to work with her for 4-5 hours each day after preschool. I refused and said, she is a child, I will work with her for a certain period of time, but she will get to have her time being a child. Since she already was getting therapy at school, and we had someone coming out twice a week in the afternoon after her half day of preschool, I worked with her on the other days the therapist did not come out to the house. After that, she got to play and just be a child with the neighbor kids, even though they couldn't understand her speech, they made her feel wanted.

I also get tired of hearing about the parents who plan their child's and teen's days with so much stuff like, German this day, Spanish this day, Basketball this day and don't forget music lessons and karate and ...... That's just too much.

 

[Banjo]

I don't read these types of blogs, too much whining and not to mention the negativity.

 

[Beowulf]

I don't read ANY blogs at all.

 

[shel90]

I dont read those blogs because I dont like the idea of a child's life being defined by his/her ability to "hear" and "speak" being detailed for the public to see.

I dont blame you OB for making you angry. I would feel the same as well.

 

[jillio]

I'd say you are making a wise decision. There is no need to upset yourself over these blogs. I see them more as a ploy to gain attention that anything informative.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I admit I read them with an open mind for awhile. I wanted to learn. Learn, I did. It brought up in me a lot of sadness and frustration for these kids who are given perpetual "play therapy". The key word here being therapy. A child's life consist of more than just therapy. "Will my child succeed?" "OMG, we've worked SO hard, yet, he's just not getting that F sound!" WTFH?

In my opinion, parents who are so hyperfocused on speech will end up screwing up their children.

Ugh. Anyway, the blogs are gone. I deleted every single one last night. No more for me.

 

[shel90]

I admit I read them with an open mind for awhile. I wanted to learn. Learn, I did. It brought up in me a lot of sadness and frustration for these kids who are given perpetual "play therapy". The key word here being therapy. A child's life consist of more than just therapy. "Will my child succeed?" "OMG, we've worked SO hard, yet, he's just not getting that F sound!" WTFH?

In my opinion, parents who are so hyperfocused on speech will end up screwing up their children.

Ugh. Anyway, the blogs are gone. I deleted every single one last night. No more for me.

that is what DD has been saying all along but she gets bashed for stating the truth.

 

[jillio]

I admit I read them with an open mind for awhile. I wanted to learn. Learn, I did. It brought up in me a lot of sadness and frustration for these kids who are given perpetual "play therapy". The key word here being therapy. A child's life consist of more than just therapy. "Will my child succeed?" "OMG, we've worked SO hard, yet, he's just not getting that F sound!" WTFH?

In my opinion, parents who are so hyperfocused on speech will end up screwing up their children.

Ugh. Anyway, the blogs are gone. I deleted every single one last night. No more for me.

Exactly. Parents don't consider that playing with their children and attempting to fulfill an oral agenda at the same time creates an overly directive relationship between parent and child. Very unhealthy.

 

[Banjo]

Exactly. Parents don't consider that playing with their children and attempting to fulfill an oral agenda at the same time creates an overly directive relationship between parent and child. Very unhealthy.

and not to mention they will feel like they have to please the parents on a 24/7 basis or all hell will breaks loose, even if they are in their adulthood.

 

[jillio]

and not to mention they will feel like they have to please the parents on a 24/7 basis or all hell will breaks loose, even if they are in their adulthood.

Yes. This is one of the negative consequences of an overly directive relationship. It also stifles their natural curiosity that is gained through independent play. They loose the ability to learn through their own actions, and are always looking to be told what to learn.

 

[Banjo]

Yes. This is one of the negative consequences of an overly directive relationship. It also stifles their natural curiosity that is gained through independent play. They loose the ability to learn through their own actions, and are always looking to be told what to learn.

Quite tragic, I must say. I know some people who have experienced that.

 

[jillio]

Quite tragic, I must say. I know some people who have experienced that.

Yes, it is. It really places limitations that would not be there just as a result of deafness. They are iatrogenic symtoms: created by the treatment.

 

[Banjo]

Yes, it is. It really places limitations that would not be there just as a result of deafness. They are iatrogenic symtoms: created by the treatment.

I would consider it a form of mental abuse.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

that is what DD has been saying all along but she gets bashed for stating the truth.

I admit I bashed her. I'm sorry for it now. Here's the thing. It's not the kids. They really DO think they're playing. It's the parents that are pissing me off. This hyperfocus on speech and Ling sounds. This one mother has a nearly four year old and she's STILL anxious about this kids' speech. WTH? He's FOUR! Children DON'T have PERFECT speech, lady! This is what bugs me so much. Their goal doesn't seem to get the child up to what is age appropriate. They want MORE from the kids. They want their kids to EXCEED speech goals for their ages. What two year old speaks perfectly? In the hearing world, not many; yet the children with CIs HAVE perfect articulation or nearly so. It's NOT normal! A child is supposed to have wonky articulation. Why? Because, they're children! Let them be.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Exactly. Parents don't consider that playing with their children and attempting to fulfill an oral agenda at the same time creates an overly directive relationship between parent and child. Very unhealthy.

You're throwing me with the "overly directive relationship", but I agreethat what I saw was unhealthy. A child shouldn't be therapied to death. And, I believe that play therapy only really belongs in the psych arena. That is where it really does some good. But, AVT? Ugh!

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Yes. This is one of the negative consequences of an overly directive relationship. It also stifles their natural curiosity that is gained through independent play. They loose the ability to learn through their own actions, and are always looking to be told what to learn.

Ugh, seriously? Wow!

 

[Lissa]

I don't agree with therapy 24/7 365 days a year. I used to have speech therapy from 11yrs-13yrs one hour a week and I hated it. I don't think parents should be focusing on their child's speech certainly not at 4,5,6. Let them be kids, but even a tiny bit of therapy won't hurt.

My parents did not focus or do anything with my speech when I was growing up, they accepted that was how I spoke. I HAD to have speech therapy(school)

 

[shel90]

I admit I bashed her. I'm sorry for it now. Here's the thing. It's not the kids. They really DO think they're playing. It's the parents that are pissing me off. This hyperfocus on speech and Ling sounds. This one mother has a nearly four year old and she's STILL anxious about this kids' speech. WTH? He's FOUR! Children DON'T have PERFECT speech, lady! This is what bugs me so much. Their goal doesn't seem to get the child up to what is age appropriate. They want MORE from the kids. They want their kids to EXCEED speech goals for their ages. What two year old speaks perfectly? In the hearing world, not many; yet the children with CIs HAVE perfect articulation or nearly so. It's NOT normal! A child is supposed to have wonky articulation. Why? Because, they're children! Let them be.

You know what's so interesting? Even children of Deaf parents whether they are deaf or hearing have wonky handshapes when signing at that age. That is what makes them soooo adorable. These parents need mental help fast!