Can't hear, can't sign either - social outcast!

RoseRodent said:
Hey, I found it offensive to be told "all you need is arms" as if someone else should know better about what disabled people are capable of. Get it told to us a hundred times a day - why don't you play wheelchair basketball? You can manage the inaccessible toilet we have because we once had another woman in a wheelchair and she was able to do it so why can't you? My friend does this in her wheelchair ergo it absolutely must be possible for you also. It's pretty equivalent to saying that all people with hearing loss can lipread just because you once met someone who can. Y'know, it's putting all wheelchair users into a box that everyone who is in a wheelchair has the same capabilities, no individualism.
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I used to work a nursing home, and I know that even those who can manage daily life activities, it is still not easy and take twice as long for them. It was not fun for them to being depended on people either.
 
Not sure where it said I didn't want to make an effor to learn to sign, I WANT to go on a sign course, however one which focuses on social interaction skills not on how to give and receive directions. It's not stuff I want to learn For free I'd learn it, for thousands of pounds I'm not interested. I signed up for the Deaf socials and I got offered fun running and rock climbing, so clearly I made an effort to sign up for those things, that's how I got them sent to me. If you think that all these non-sport social situations are all out there, please point me to them, I AM LOOKING!!! What I have not successfully managed is FINDING. Please, if you can point me towards an online provider that has a "sign a day" course (rather than "sign a month" as that's slightly slow progress!!! It's all I've found) or a BSL learners' club I can contact on Skype, a local event to Scotland, UK (that doesn't involve sports), anyone looking for a "sign buddy" that is BSL not ASL please do.

NHS provides powerchairs for people who need them? Spoken by a person who has truly never been through the assessment process!! :laugh2: Thing is, if you can push a manual chair a single push, and I mean literally ONE, you can move 2 feet and then you have to stop for the day, then you do not qualify.

I didn't want to do an introduction all about my disabilities because I don't feel it defines my life. I just brought it up as a small irritation to do with all the Deaf clubs seeming for one reason or another to focus on sports activities, but an introduction which went on about being a wheelchair user is just making like my life is defined by that, and it definitely isn't. I am in my 30s, I am a mum, I am a wife, I am a student, I am a teacher, I am a driver, I have hobbies, I have interests, I have commitments and I have irritations in my life, that is 'about me'.

Anyone who thought I was attacking grammar, seriously, that is entirely in your own thought process, possibly your own hang-up? I don't know. It never even began to occur to me. I apologise if that was what you took from what I said, but seriously I never said a single word or had a single thought about grammar. The only reason I said "in case English is not your first language" is sometimes if you look stuff up in a dictionary you get non-PC translations, like often you get "handicapped" from dictionaries. I know that term is much more acceptable in the US than in the UK so manufacturers of dictionaries perhaps don't make the distinction in terms of "English", and the poor person with English as an additional language strides into an interview and says they "work with handicapped children" and gets torn to shreds.
 
The first link rockdrummer given is well known in UK.

Other website below gives lot more signs but not as well known because it is newish. It is more useful in my opinion.

Spread the Sign

When you search, make sure click on the right flag to watch the sign. They don't just do BSL. They also do Spainish, German, French, etc. But BSL is almost complete, more signs than others which still developing.
 
Hey, those links are awesome, thanks. Sometimes you run a search and you don't get the search terms 100% "just so" to the keywords that flag up the site you want, and you can spend months looking for something only to change one word and find there are millions of them!

Had that problem looking for a 3.5mm bluetooth sender, couldn't find one for about 3 years then found there were about 40 on a really well-known website. :Oops:
 
It seems like people here think this kind of situation happens to late deafened only.
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Shel, I believe that your experience is typical, based on my experience with the deaf community in my area. It seems like late deafened people are more reluctant to learn sign language. That's not surprising since people tend to resist change as they grow older.

RR, you might want to post for a BSL buddy on some deaf sites for the UK. With your computer and a web cam, your BSL buddy can be anywhere.
 
Roserodent, I can totally relate to you about not being able to hear, but can't really sign either. It's like being trapped between a rock and a hard place. Now I just let everyone and anyone know that I have hearing loss, and usually they excuse me if I don't hear them right away or sometimes they will even act as listening ears for me in hard-to-hear situations.
 
quirkylibra said:
I do the same thing! The other day I told someone I wished I had a DUI!:shock: They were like what!? Obviously, I thought they asked me something else and I said yeah I wish. I tend to smile and nod a lot. Bad habit, I know. I would love to learn ASL, but it wouldn't help me much in daily life because nobody around me uses it. I have one friend who is a language translator and know a tiny bit, but not enough for convos.
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Exactly what I've gone through. Took ASL classes, but didn't really get me past the basics or anything. No one i'm surrounded with uses fluent ASL either- instead, it's a handful of teenagers who believe taking ASL courses are 'cool.' (something I"ll never really understand why the hearing world is so obsessed with ASL- where did it begin and WHY? not that it's bad they want to be able to communicate with deaf people, but b/c they don't seem to be taking an appropriate approach... doing something because it looks 'cool' doesn't qualify).
I am therefore, mostly a lip reader and dependent on the little hearing I've got naturally (cause I never wear my hearing aids- they're just annoying and amplifying every annoying high pitch sound around). The result: I avoid social and group situations as much as humanly possible. Do I care? No. I've got a "loner" personality to begin with and do best on my own, in my own thoughts. If I do something in public, it's with someone I trust- husband, family or a best friend, but forget strangers.

I suppose the lesson is, if it bothers you, you gotta find ways to make it un-bother you. If you want to communicate with people and your only option is learning ASL, then learn it, and get to know fellow ASL users/students. If you don't want to learn it, find someone who has the patience with your lack of hearing and that you can only lip read. Or, if you qualify, consider the cochlear implant- which I'm getting this year (if my MRI/CAT looks clean). :)
 
It's too bad there's not a camp or a school for dhh mainstreamed to the max or late deaf as teens adults who want to become fluent in ASL.
 
My hearing loss was first detected in the third grade and has gradually declined since then. Now in my mid 50's my loss is profound, but having grown up in the hearing world I don't know sign language. People tell me I should try to learn it now, but everyone I know can hear so who would I speak to using sign language? So I struggle, everyday.
 
Can definitely relate to the thing of courses being full of people who think it's "cool" for some reason, they don't have any actual wish for communication, just to be able to "do it". A lot of the courses are also bundled with "Deaf Awareness" and although I am pleased to see that is part of the courses for people coming from a hearing perspective, it's annoying if you have deafened, deaf, parents of deaf children, etc. I may get something useful/interesting out of it, but I doubt it. You want to get on with the signing, and it also shows that the courses are directed mostly at the hearing community.

I am going to have a go with people doing a little fingerspelling of the key consonants, to work in time with the speech, if someone says "boat" I can probably get the "oa" part, so if they spell the b and the t in time... well, maybe it won't work at conversational speeds, but worth a go while I get my signing working. I guess most of it depends on having people prepared to bother, and it's pretty unusual in the hearing community I find. They just want to shout louder or shout into your earhole so their faces are entirely obscured.
 
Rose, let me ask you a few questions. Please bear in mind, I do ask these with utmost respect.

Have you contacted a local church and inquired about their "deaf services" or if they could give you contact information for deaf services in one of the local churches. Whoever is running the deaf services will most be a hearing person/interpreter who could give you names of persons who will be willing to work with you on a person-to-person basis in learning BSL.

Do you know if your area has a deaf senior center? In my area, the deaf seniors meet weekly at a local church. And its not only deaf people at the center, there are interpreters and others who would give you hand. Also, the deaf senior center has a lot of people who are not seniors. There are also hearing people learning sign, friends of deaf people, volunteers, etc.

IMHO, it appears as if you need a mentor in learning BSL. Perhaps another deaf person who is patient enough to help you learn BSL.

Has your doctor and/or audiologist given you any information about any local deaf services?

It may be a bit difficult to "mesh" into the local Deaf community. Remember, these people have most likely known each other for many, many years. Some people will not be patient to help (and I strongly believe these people to be a minority). A lot of people will have children, siblings, parents, etc who are hearing and maybe able to help mentor you in your efforts to learn sign.

Are members of your family also trying to learn BSL? If so, it would be helpful if they also look for deaf mentors. I know someone whose mum was deaf and his father was very hard-of-hearing. His signing was OK if not sort of awkward. If he didn't understand his mum, his dad would voice to him. So he really didn't make a huge effort to fluent in sign. He made friends with some deaf people his own age and suddenly his signing improved dramatically. He was signing very fluently and could have been a top-notch interpreter. My point is...... if other members of the family where learning BSL from other sources, they could bring that information to you.

I hope these questions are helpful for you. And I wish you the best in trying to find help in learning BSL.

One final thought, there really does seem to be a lack of support/help for those of us who are late deafened. One would think there would be more programs for this.
 
May I suggest you compare BSL dictionaries and get the most comprehensive one? Also, look for BSL vids on YouTube to get more practice. Videos with captions and videos of signed music (look up the lyrics on other sites) are especially helpful. What helped me with ASL is teaching what I know to my best friend whom I visit every week. Assuming you are Christian, there are churches who have deaf ministries, no matter what your denomination. Watching the terp and using your residual hearing can help pair up spoken words with BSL signs. It has taken me a year of serious study to understand most of what a terp signs. Be patient with yourself and don't give up.
 
Hask12 said:
My hearing loss was first detected in the third grade and has gradually declined since then. Now in my mid 50's my loss is profound, but having grown up in the hearing world I don't know sign language. People tell me I should try to learn it now, but everyone I know can hear so who would I speak to using sign language? So I struggle, everyday.
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I "hear" ya there. I recently (4 years in May) lost my hearing after gradually losing it over the previous 43 years, since birth. I have taken an ASL course and have been trying to learn from books and online as well. The only people I can communicate with in ASL is any of my online buddies that I have on either skype or P3. That's Hutt5ASL, SallyLou, LDNanna, Mrs. Buckets, Chevy57,and now Celticity.

My family did not learn, my friends don't know ASL and most businesses here in town don't know it. I am not in an area that has a large of moderate size community of deaf/hoh people.
 
Late Deafened Response

sallylou said:
Shel, I believe that your experience is typical, based on my experience with the deaf community in my area. It seems like late deafened people are more reluctant to learn sign language. That's not surprising since people tend to resist change as they grow older.

RR, you might want to post for a BSL buddy on some deaf sites for the UK. With your computer and a web cam, your BSL buddy can be anywhere.
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Please excuse my intrusion, but I am late deafened myself; I have done everything except cartwheels, to learn ASL better. I have tried finding tutors online, that I could afford, without success. I have tried meetup groups, there are 2 over 3 hours away and they meet once a month. I am not always able to make it there. I have tried starting one myself, because there were supposedly loys of people looking for a meet-up group in my area. After 3 weeks, 1 person contacted me. I had my daughter contact the deaf and hearing center in Leesburg Florida. She gave my daughter an email address of the president of a deaf group in Lady Lake Florida. I have not heard from him; it hs been almost 2 weeks since I sent him an email. I tried joining alldeaf in hopes of meeting other deaf and hard-of-hearing people and learning about deaf culture and improving my ASL skills. I have learned we are all at different places on the adjustment scale. Some days for me ok, other days just "suck." 2 people contacted me since I joined, but my ASL is so slow, that I haven't heard back. Take it from me , I would do almost anything to improve my ASL skills. I heard from a deaf friend Caroline, that she was turned down by Sorenson, because her ASL was not good and the interpreters don't like slow signers. Maybe sounds stupid but I am relly nervous about using Sorenson myself. I am slow slow slow.
I am in need of some feedback from you all on a couple of issues. My first question; what is the best way, means or approach to taching young children to use ASL? I have a 2 year old grandson, whom I am trying to teach to sign. He has learned tonsign for his basic needs. I have a 2 month old grandson as well. I want them both to learn, for selfish reasons; so I will have someone in my family to whom I can talk. I don't want to teach them the wrong way or cofuse them. My second question: when I test myself after taking classes at ASL university, I get 95%-100%. But I can't seem to express myself in sign. I can understand what someone is signing to me, much better than me signing to someone. I get so nervous and afraid to try. What is wrong with me. If I don't learn to sign, it will be like being adrift in the ocean, without seeing land or people. My third and last question: There is a great deal of interest in practicing ASL online----having ASL buddies. I have even had a couple of you do this through Skype. But like all the others in the past, I frustrate you with my lack of signing skills that you don't contact me again. I really am anxious to learn how to be fluent in ASL, learn about the deaf community and culture. Are they any really patient people in here who would be willing to practice with me? I have a Sorenson phone number 352-583-7201.and my Skype name is mary.swingler. I will be looking forward to hearing from you all about the questions I have posted. I want to thank you all so much for listening.
 
Hi, Mary. It was good to chat with you. I've been really busy (kids!) and haven't had time to call people. I'll keep you on my list of practice buddies. Hope that you're rounded up some more practice buddies so that you can find one when you want to chat. I'll catch up with you later.
 
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