Bullies?

I have never been beaten or threaten by a bully, but my mother always bully me around so I always bully back. I know lot of bullies in high school and college. Kids do get bullies by other kids, and adults get bullied around by other adults which is sad. There are all kinds of nasty bullies. So they have issues. What makes a bully? I tell you what I think what that means to me. Say the word “bully” and most people think of a thug. Nobody likes him, but his ability to frighten other children makes him somehow larger than life. Fortunately, so the myth. Myth: Bullies are kids with low self-esteem.

Fact: Most children who bully have average or even high self-esteem. They bully, says Dr. Miriam Hirschstein, Ph.D., a research scientist with the Committee for Children, “because they believe they will get social mileage out of it.” As a related fact, 85 percent of bullying incidents involve bystanders. “Bullying,” she says sadly, “can help you be a very popular child.”

Myth: Bullying means punching, and bullies are almost always boys.

Fact: While physical attacks are still done mostly by boys, researchers have found that “interactional” bullying –taunts and name-calling – is every bit as damaging, and done just as often by girls. Girls dominate a final category called “relational” bullying – using a group to “freeze out” or otherwise humiliate another child.

In other words: under the wrong circumstances, that bully could even be your kid. Here’s the good news. Over the last decade, schools have teamed up with professionals to stop the cycle, by setting firm consequences for bullying. Many states across the country have even passed anti-bullying laws.

Early education is key. And schools are taking playground problems more seriously than ever. Many school programs, including the Committee for Children’s “Steps to Respect,” include elementary curriculum on social problem-solving skills, which can prevent violent behavior patterns from taking hold.

No one wants to raise a bully. And no one wants to have a child taunted by one. If you suspect that your son or daughter may be bullying, bystanding, or becoming a victim, talk to your teachers and school leaders immediately. In today’s climate of awareness, you can expect to be heard.
 
Quite simply, bullies have never learned to develop their own self confidence, and have noself esteem. Because they feel inferior to others, and don't have the skills to develop self exteem fromt he inside, where it comes from, they use the only thing they have. They make themselves feel like stronger people by picking on the weaknesses of others. The only way a bully can feel good about himself/herself is to make someone else feel bad.
 
Quite simply, bullies have never learned to develop their own self confidence, and have noself esteem. Because they feel inferior to others, and don't have the skills to develop self exteem fromt he inside, where it comes from, they use the only thing they have. They make themselves feel like stronger people by picking on the weaknesses of others. The only way a bully can feel good about himself/herself is to make someone else feel bad.


The truth is it is the other way around. They will feel so stupid and bad later on when they realized how wrong it is to bully others. Maturity will do its job to take care of... only, when it hits them on the bottomless pit.
 
Quite simply, bullies have never learned to develop their own self confidence, and have noself esteem. Because they feel inferior to others, and don't have the skills to develop self exteem fromt he inside, where it comes from, they use the only thing they have. They make themselves feel like stronger people by picking on the weaknesses of others. The only way a bully can feel good about himself/herself is to make someone else feel bad.

Yes I second that.
 
The truth is it is the other way around. They will feel so stupid and bad later on when they realized how wrong it is to bully others. Maturity will do its job to take care of... only, when it hits them on the bottomless pit.

The bad part is, maria, many bullies never reach the point where they see their behavior as wrong. They continue it into their adulthood. Think of all the people who have related stories of working for a boss that was a bully, the abuser that bullies their wife and children, and even some examples on this forum of people trying to bully others.
 
The bad part is, maria, many bullies never reach the point where they see their behavior as wrong. They continue it into their adulthood. Think of all the people who have related stories of working for a boss that was a bully, the abuser that bullies their wife and children, and even some examples on this forum of people trying to bully others.

Yep, I understand what you mean about the " bad part ". Do you think it comes from the parents who raised their kids like this ? I mean, is that where it comes from home ?
 
About Bullies...

For heaven sake I've been bullied enough all my entires life, I was too good and too nice to hateful and spiteful people, they don't like me cuz I was too kinds to them, don't know why they don't wants to be treated kinds, but many love being treated kinds too...

But bullied do not love themselves when they bullies others for no reason, it just not right!
 
Yep, I understand what you mean about the " bad part ". Do you think it comes from the parents who raised their kids like this ? I mean, is that where it comes from home ?

A lot of it comes from the home. Many bullies come from troubled or abusive homes, or homes where the parents are unable to teach the kids social skills.
 
A lot of it comes from the home. Many bullies come from troubled or abusive homes, or homes where the parents are unable to teach the kids social skills.

Ok, Jillio - I am just wonderin' if the schools have their social skills classes to where the teachers could teach students ? I think maybe, it should start with elementary schools ? hmm....
 
Ok, Jillio - I am just wonderin' if the schools have their social skills classes to where the teachers could teach students ? I think maybe, it should start with elementary schools ? hmm....

The schools are starting to address this problem. The state of Ohio is now mandated by law to have programs in place for K-6 to teach about bullying, social skills, and how to handle a bully. That's a start. There is also a nationwide organization called, "Ophelia Project" that does programs for schools and communities. This program involves not jsut the kids, but the parents and others in the community as well. They also have an excellent website. I have been involved with the local chapter of Ophelia where I live.

We need to get all states to mandate this type of program for the elementary kids. That is where it starts. If we wait until they are in jr. high or high school, the behavior and attitudes are so much a part of their life that it is so much harder to correct.
 
The schools are starting to address this problem. The state of Ohio is now mandated by law to have programs in place for K-6 to teach about bullying, social skills, and how to handle a bully. That's a start. There is also a nationwide organization called, "Ophelia Project" that does programs for schools and communities. This program involves not jsut the kids, but the parents and others in the community as well. They also have an excellent website. I have been involved with the local chapter of Ophelia where I live.

We need to get all states to mandate this type of program for the elementary kids. That is where it starts. If we wait until they are in jr. high or high school, the behavior and attitudes are so much a part of their life that it is so much harder to correct.

Is the " Odphelia Project " nonprofit organization? since I haven't heard of this before, and I'm glad to hear there programs in place to teach them about bullings, etc, and allowing the child's own voice to be heard when others choosed to ignore it instead....
 
Is the " Odphelia Project " nonprofit organization? since I haven't heard of this before, and I'm glad to hear there programs in place to teach them about bullings, etc, and allowing the child's own voice to be heard when others choosed to ignore it instead....

Yes, it is nonprofit. It is a relatively new organization....our local chapter was formed a little over a year ago. I like what you said about the child's voice being heard. That is what the program is about...empowering children and taking their experiences seriously.
 
Yes, it is nonprofit. It is a relatively new organization....our local chapter was formed a little over a year ago. I like what you said about the child's voice being heard. That is what the program is about...empowering children and taking their experiences seriously.

That's great, I'm glad there something out there that will help these children and that's exactly what we need and I'm hoping to see more schools that will provide these kind of programs cause most of the time the school don’t take bullying serious enough especially when it comes down to these victim who willing to kill themselves over it...Back when I was in jr high, I witness a couple of kids on the playground bulling this young girl who happened to be handicapped and would wears the same clothes for more than two days, doesn't even comb her own hair, etc, they would bothered her everyday by hitting her, spitting in her face, throwing dirt at her etc.....They just enjoyed bulling her and didn't feel guilty at all, I didn't stop it, I just stood there and cried...It seem no one wanted to intervene it or tried to stopped it....I think it was more of being scared, I dunno....I wish I had done something but I didn't and I felt really bad about it....
 
I do agree that the bullying problem is very real and it is great to see organizations like the Ophelia project tackling this head on.

Yep, I do consider it bullying when others belittle and mock you personally in posts. Jaded peeps should not be jaded about that, and say hey.. that's how it goes, forget about it and sweep it under the carpet. That gives the green light to bad behavior that should never be okay in the first place.

Thought, it is good to give others benefit of the doubt..., I think it can be a language problem if peeps misunderstand a statement to be bullying behavior. Gotta think about this one, too. Which would you rather have, ... nothing but the truth in a situation or drama in a situation?
 
The schools are starting to address this problem. The state of Ohio is now mandated by law to have programs in place for K-6 to teach about bullying, social skills, and how to handle a bully. That's a start. There is also a nationwide organization called, "Ophelia Project" that does programs for schools and communities. This program involves not jsut the kids, but the parents and others in the community as well. They also have an excellent website. I have been involved with the local chapter of Ophelia where I live.

We need to get all states to mandate this type of program for the elementary kids. That is where it starts. If we wait until they are in jr. high or high school, the behavior and attitudes are so much a part of their life that it is so much harder to correct.

Exactly. That's what I was thinkin' about startin' with elementary schools when it needs to be addressed about bully and train them how to handle it. I think it is a good idea to start at elementary schools instead of waitin' until Jr. or High school.

I am goin' to research what " Ophelia Project " is tonight. :)
 
the people who bullies anyone are the one who are not happy.

I have to say you got that one right! A bully who always bully someone around it obviously he or she got issues and not happy. Sometimes Bully like to take control too to abuse other people for the wrong reasons. How sad is that? geez.
 
Bullies does in every schools... I remembered three deaf girls who bullied me so badly... Strange enough their first name were Betty.... many years later.. I confronted each of them asking them why they did bullied me for no reasons... they did not remember at all...
 
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