Bitter Single

I'm in a relationship right now, but I wonder if my girlfriend loves me and wants a relationship with me. I feel lonely. You're not the only one feeling left out. I'm 34 and time is running out on me.
 
Derek, what makes you wonder? I thought things were going well for the two of you by the way you talked about it. Are you serious about her? Does she know how YOU feel?

Anyway, don't worry about time running out on you. I met my husband when I was 34 and he was 36. It's not a bad thing to be a bit older when you fall in love and get married; there's a lot to be said for having fun in your 20s and getting serious in your 30s. That's how it worked for us, anyway.

And we still have fun; didn't mean to imply that it was all serious! Just that we each did a lot of traveling and living different places and things like that in our 20s and were ready to settle down when we were in our 30s.
 
Beach girl said:
Derek, what makes you wonder? I thought things were going well for the two of you by the way you talked about it. Are you serious about her? Does she know how YOU feel?

Anyway, don't worry about time running out on you. I met my husband when I was 34 and he was 36. It's not a bad thing to be a bit older when you fall in love and get married; there's a lot to be said for having fun in your 20s and getting serious in your 30s. That's how it worked for us, anyway.

And we still have fun; didn't mean to imply that it was all serious! Just that we each did a lot of traveling and living different places and things like that in our 20s and were ready to settle down when we were in our 30s.
Click to expand...

We used to text 40 or 50 times a day. Now maybe 10 or so.

Also we used to aim for 4 or 5 hours a night. Now we aim some nights for 1 hour or so.

She says that she wants a relationship but I wonder.
 
That fall-off is normal. No one maintains that dizzy, just-falling-in-love feeling forever. Eventually real life does pick up again. Sounds to me like you still have a good amount of communication. An hour a night? Plus a few texts during the day!That's a LOT!!

How often do you get to see each other in person?
 
We see each other maybe 2 or 3 times a month. You're right. I put too much pressure on myself because we don't text or aim as much any more.
 
It could be a sign of increasing trust in each other. Ever think of it that way? You don't have to stay in constant contact because you know that eventually, at the end of the day, you'll have a nice time to chat.

Don't be that guy who demands every moment, every thought, from his g.f. throughout the day. That gets really annoying.

When you see each other, do you have a good time together? Nice laughs, you both enjoy doing the same things, feel comfortable together? If those things are there, then I'd say you're doing well.
 
It's all good, then. Relax. Breathe. Don't panic and lose something that's just now turning the corner from dizzy-in-love to a more comfortable, mature relationship.

I tend to trust what people say. If she says she wants a relationship, and you're chatting every night, and enjoying each other's company when you get together, that all sounds pretty good to me.
 
Beach girl said:
It's all good, then. Relax. Breathe. Don't panic and lose something that's just now turning the corner from dizzy-in-love to a more comfortable, mature relationship.

I tend to trust what people say. If she says she wants a relationship, and you're chatting every night, and enjoying each other's company when you get together, that all sounds pretty good to me.
Click to expand...

Thank you very much for your vote of confidence. For a guy who has to improve his self esteem, that means a lot to me. I appreciate the advices.
 
*sees Kalima sitting in the corner, muttering to herself "What about me!?! At least Derek has someone! Hurmmph"*
 
nothing wrong with being single . I like it, and I don't have the time to keep a GF happy any way.

but, if you were in my town...
 
A bad partner makes being alone look really attractive. Keep your standard high.
 
Kalima01 said:
I'm def going to be looking at getting back into karate though! I need to tone up and get fit again (I hope I can train without a belt until my fitness is sowhat back otherwise SHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEE!!!)
Click to expand...

Holy cow, I pity the fool who tries to kick you! :giggle:
 
SimonJ said:
Holy cow, I pity the fool who tries to kick you! :giggle:
Click to expand...

I've been back a few weeks (although missed heaps due to sickness etc) and man, my fitness is disgusting!



But yes everyone, i am still single but my mood has improved heaps... I'm still kinda over online dating :-( I'm just finding it utterly boring and the guys are boring and blah...

I work on a computer all day so I'm kinda too tired to jump on again at home...

Oh well!

The plans we set for ourselves obviously are there to re-evaluate... I did want to be married and at least 1 kid before 30 - I'm 28yr this Nov, so I guess thats not gonna happen :p
 
Kalima01 said:
I've been back a few weeks (although missed heaps due to sickness etc) and man, my fitness is disgusting!



But yes everyone, i am still single but my mood has improved heaps... I'm still kinda over online dating :-( I'm just finding it utterly boring and the guys are boring and blah...

I work on a computer all day so I'm kinda too tired to jump on again at home...

Oh well!

The plans we set for ourselves obviously are there to re-evaluate... I did want to be married and at least 1 kid before 30 - I'm 28yr this Nov, so I guess thats not gonna happen :p
Click to expand...


Never say never, do you go to the deaf club in East Perth? Could be a good place to start?
 
SimonJ said:
Never say never, do you go to the deaf club in East Perth? Could be a good place to start?
Click to expand...

There's a deaf club in East Perth??
I'm new to the community - I am hearing but only just started learning Auslan so at most, I can talk about colours and my family hahaha oh and started learning about the home etc
 
Yes I have been a couple of times, they also have some shows and things. It's run by WA Deaf. I am still not quick enough at reading signs to keep up with a conversation but I can get by one on one, providing they explain the signs I don't know or fingerspell words. I think I just need more watching time where I can sit and watch without feeling like I am eavesdropping lol
 
I'm sure that a lot of us have been there at some point in their life.

Hang in there... someone will come along.

Sometimes, someone great will come along... if you don't try too hard.

I know it worked for me. :)
 
You are definitely NOT alone...but i can top that & i thnk my misery should make you feel beta..cus I have been single for 6 yrs..no sex, no dates-NOTHING..& that is VERY depressing ;(
 
Back
Top