Anyone have any advice for a baby who fights sleep like it's poison?

jillio said:
Here's the prescription for that one:

Pour a glass of whiskey. Dip your finger in and rub on baby's gums. Take a big drink. Repeat as necessary.:giggle:
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:rofl2:

I wonder who it will help the most!??
 
The last time I talked to the doctor about this, she coolly said that she might be having nightmares, and left it at that. I'm looking for a new doctor. It's not a small issue, in my mind, if my seven month old baby is having nightmares this bad. I don't think, you know, that I can manage the crying it out. At least not cold turkey. I might try to wean her off night-cuddling very slowly at some point, but I couldn't just leave her. Besides, she's so good all the rest of the day about everything that I don't think such sharp action is fair for her.

I think part of my reasoning for being so againist crying-it-out is that my mother, by her own admission left my brothers and myself to cry it out. All three of us are anxious, insecure, and have a deep-seated fear of abandoment. I'm not saying all of this was caused by crying it out, but I'm convinced some of it was. My little sister, however, was NOT left to cry it out. She, in contrast to the rest of us, is secure, self-confident, and has no fear whatsoever that people she loves will leave her. By the same token, my husband and his sisters weren't left to cry it out, and all three are self-confident, strong, and have no fears of abandoment that I know of. Again, I know this is not all due to the cry it out issue, but I'm not willing to even plant a seed of fear that she is unworthy of love in my little Casey.

I am NOT saying that those parents who do believe in crying it out are bad parents, they just believe differently then I do, and that's ok. I just really firmly believe that crying it out for my daughter could be damaging. Now, when she gets over the year mark...that's another story. I realize that toddlers need to be taught self-soothing...I just think a child under one still needs her mommy when she cries.

by the way, I will seriously take you up on that drink Jillio........might sooth the frazzled nerves....
 
November Gypsy said:
The last time I talked to the doctor about this, she coolly said that she might be having nightmares, and left it at that. I'm looking for a new doctor. It's not a small issue, in my mind, if my seven month old baby is having nightmares this bad. I don't think, you know, that I can manage the crying it out. At least not cold turkey. I might try to wean her off night-cuddling very slowly at some point, but I couldn't just leave her. Besides, she's so good all the rest of the day about everything that I don't think such sharp action is fair for her.

I think part of my reasoning for being so againist crying-it-out is that my mother, by her own admission left my brothers and myself to cry it out. All three of us are anxious, insecure, and have a deep-seated fear of abandoment. I'm not saying all of this was caused by crying it out, but I'm convinced some of it was. My little sister, however, was NOT left to cry it out. She, in contrast to the rest of us, is secure, self-confident, and has no fear whatsoever that people she loves will leave her. By the same token, my husband and his sisters weren't left to cry it out, and all three are self-confident, strong, and have no fears of abandoment that I know of. Again, I know this is not all due to the cry it out issue, but I'm not willing to even plant a seed of fear that she is unworthy of love in my little Casey.

I am NOT saying that those parents who do believe in crying it out are bad parents, they just believe differently then I do, and that's ok. I just really firmly believe that crying it out for my daughter could be damaging. Now, when she gets over the year mark...that's another story. I realize that toddlers need to be taught self-soothing...I just think a child under one still needs her mommy when she cries.

by the way, I will seriously take you up on that drink Jillio........might sooth the frazzled nerves....
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LOl, glad I could help!:giggle:

You do have some very good points about the fear of abandonment. That is why, if you do decide to let her cry it out, it is necessary for you to keep going back in to reassure her that you are still there for her, but it is time for sleep. That way, she knows that she has not been abandoned, but that a certain behavior is expected from her.
 
jillio said:
LOl, glad I could help!:giggle:

You do have some very good points about the fear of abandonment. That is why, if you do decide to let her cry it out, it is necessary for you to keep going back in to reassure her that you are still there for her, but it is time for sleep. That way, she knows that she has not been abandoned, but that a certain behavior is expected from her.
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That is exactly what I am speaking of. I am not saying leave the child every time he/she cry.

Certain times and certain behaviors, I leave them. Such as temper tantrums.


Does not mean I do not love, cuddle, spend quality time with my child. Certain times..such as bed time. are times to teach a child, that they can sleep on their own.

I have a friend that has a 6 year old child that still sleeps in their room.
Why? Because he was never made to sleep in his own bed at night.
 
Babyblue said:
That is exactly what I am speaking of. I am not saying leave the child every time he/she cry.

Certain times and certain behaviors, I leave them. Such as temper tantrums.


Does not mean I do not love, cuddle, spend quality time with my child. Certain times..such as bed time. are times to teach a child, that they can sleep on their own.

I have a friend that has a 6 year old child that still sleeps in their room.
Why? Because he was never made to sleep in his own bed at night.
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Yes, I know about the temper tantrums. I know she throws 'em. Hard. Gosh help me. In those times, I do walk out of the room for a moment, but I can't stay out for very long, because, at seven months old, I don't think she can retain the fact that she was throwing one for very long. All she knows is that she's crying and alone. I don't often let her sleep with me (or, rather, my husband doesn't) so I don't have worry on that head. I know you didn't mean not to love your child. I just think it's a little harsh to just throw up your hands one night and walk out and let her scream herself to sleep. I mean, what kind of assoications is she going to have for bed with that kind of night? That and, what do I do when I know she's frightened but go to her? Sigh. Poor little critter. She's so wonderful, but gosh, mothering is HARD.
 
November Gypsy said:
Yes, I know about the temper tantrums. I know she throws 'em. Hard. Gosh help me. In those times, I do walk out of the room for a moment, but I can't stay out for very long, because, at seven months old, I don't think she can retain the fact that she was throwing one for very long. All she knows is that she's crying and alone. I don't often let her sleep with me (or, rather, my husband doesn't) so I don't have worry on that head. I know you didn't mean not to love your child. I just think it's a little harsh to just throw up your hands one night and walk out and let her scream herself to sleep. I mean, what kind of assoications is she going to have for bed with that kind of night? That and, what do I do when I know she's frightened but go to her? Sigh. Poor little critter. She's so wonderful, but gosh, mothering is HARD.
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It is never easy being a Mom. I do understand where you are coming from.

She is not hurt, not hungry, diaper is dry, They are just simply tired, and do not know what they want.

It will not make a child insecure, by letting a child learn to sleep on their own.

I am basing this solely, on you say that she fights sleep.


But if your Doctor says she may be having night terrors, is a totally different ball game.
 
Babyblue said:
It is never easy being a Mom. I do understand where you are coming from.

She is not hurt, not hungry, diaper is dry, They are just simply tired, and do not know what they want.

It will not make a child insecure, by letting a child learn to sleep on their own.

I am basing this solely, on you say that she fights sleep.


But if your Doctor says she may be having night terrors, is a totally different ball game.
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I agree completely on the bolded statements. If this is a case of night terrors, it should be handled in a completely different way than a child that is just fighting sleep.
 
Adam has the night terrors, they are common at their age... I found a GREAT article on them that I'll find for you... part of it comes from them being over tired and overstimulated-- give me a little bit to find that I think it was from the University of Michigan... when he's having the terrors is different b/c he's already BEEN alseep not just fighting it-- like he does sometimes... that's when I leave him to work it out...

OK found it quicker than I thought... Pediatric Advisor 2006.2: Night Terrors this might help... at least it did me--
 
Adamsmomma said:
Adam has the night terrors, they are common at their age... I found a GREAT article on them that I'll find for you... part of it comes from them being over tired and overstimulated-- give me a little bit to find that I think it was from the University of Michigan... when he's having the terrors is different b/c he's already BEEN alseep not just fighting it-- like he does sometimes... that's when I leave him to work it out...

OK found it quicker than I thought... Pediatric Advisor 2006.2: Night Terrors this might help... at least it did me--
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Hey Thanks! I really appriecate that. I will definately check into it. I guess I have been combining two different behaviors because I thought they were related. Yes, she fights sleep. When she does that, I can't tell if its because she just doesn't want to go to sleep or if she is afraid to go to sleep. When she does go to sleep, she will, almost nightly, wake up absolutely sobbing. My husband says it's not an 'angry' cry and her face is that really sad, really heartbreaking expression that babies get when they have been hurt or frightened badly. I mean...it makes me cry to look at her, and, trust me, I do not cry every time she cries. I guess I thought the two behaviors were interelated, so I didn't really specify. Could it be that she's just throwing tantrums when it's time to go to bed and it has nothing to do with the horrible wakings she has in the middle of the night?
 
jillio said:
I agree completely on the bolded statements. If this is a case of night terrors, it should be handled in a completely different way than a child that is just fighting sleep.
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The practise I have been taking my daughter to keeps switching doctors on me. This last one didn't really specify or seem to care much. She just carelessly said 'Oh, just sounds like nightmares'. That was it. Of course, I was having trouble with her any way because she kept not looking at me while she was talking and, by the end of session, got this scowling look on her face when she had to repeat herself. But, I mean, I have to know! This is my baby! I won't be taking Casey to her again, and may switch practises all together if I can find a good one. So, I don't know if she meant the fighting sleep and the sudden, terrible wakings at night were about nightmares...or what.
 
November Gypsy said:
Hey Thanks! I really appriecate that. I will definately check into it. I guess I have been combining two different behaviors because I thought they were related. Yes, she fights sleep. When she does that, I can't tell if its because she just doesn't want to go to sleep or if she is afraid to go to sleep. When she does go to sleep, she will, almost nightly, wake up absolutely sobbing. My husband says it's not an 'angry' cry and her face is that really sad, really heartbreaking expression that babies get when they have been hurt or frightened badly. I mean...it makes me cry to look at her, and, trust me, I do not cry every time she cries. I guess I thought the two behaviors were interelated, so I didn't really specify. Could it be that she's just throwing tantrums when it's time to go to bed and it has nothing to do with the horrible wakings she has in the middle of the night?
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They could be seperate... I know a lot of Adams aren't related, but that's Adam... not Casey, ya know??

I completely understand how difficult and heart breaking it is... :hug: for you :)

Now about the other issue of the way the dr treated you... you have the right to clear communication w/your daughters physician... you also have the right to DEMAND to see the same physician each time... AND refuse to see others... trust me. I'm not sure where you are in Ky but I can give you some names and suggestions if you're near me... PM me ok??

Good luck and maybe tonight she'll sleep~~
 
I tend to have a really hard time with doctors for myself, but I'll tell you, it's a different thing when it's your baby's doctor who refuses to take the time to listen. I'm not just talking about the hoh thing. I stutter, so even before I started going deaf, I've had issues getting proffessionals of every type to take the time to actually listen instead of assume. Ah well. Nothing like a baby to give you a backbone! They tried to brush me off when she was born and in the NICU for a week with breathing problems. They didn't even tell me where she was until I finally called enough to get someone to come to the room to tell me what was happening (since I don't understand over the phone well at all). Grrrr....anyway....very off topic. Just a bit of a sore subject with me.
 
November Gypsy said:
The practise I have been taking my daughter to keeps switching doctors on me. This last one didn't really specify or seem to care much. She just carelessly said 'Oh, just sounds like nightmares'. That was it. Of course, I was having trouble with her any way because she kept not looking at me while she was talking and, by the end of session, got this scowling look on her face when she had to repeat herself. But, I mean, I have to know! This is my baby! I won't be taking Casey to her again, and may switch practises all together if I can find a good one. So, I don't know if she meant the fighting sleep and the sudden, terrible wakings at night were about nightmares...or what.
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I'm sorry that you received that kind of treatment. I don't blame you. I think it is important to have a doctor that will actually take the time to communicate with the parent.
 
I really think it's partially my fault. I am very shy and awkward. I'm not very good at communicating with people I don't know very well. But I do try really hard when it invovles my little Casey. I just can't seem to get people to understand that just because I stutter and am hoh doesn't mean that I am 'slow' or an incapable mother.
 
November Gypsy said:
I really think it's partially my fault. I am very shy and awkward. I'm not very good at communicating with people I don't know very well. But I do try really hard when it invovles my little Casey. I just can't seem to get people to understand that just because I stutter and am hoh doesn't mean that I am 'slow' or an incapable mother.
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Doctors, are suppose to focus on what you are trying to say.. If the Pediatrician is impatient with what you are trying to say about your child, or is in a rush.... Then he/she is not the right one.


Do not blame yourself.
 
I know and I am switching doctors. The blaming myself thing is a force of habit that I am having a hard time breaking.
 
Babyblue said:
Doctors, are suppose to focus on what you are trying to say.. If the Pediatrician is impatient with what you are trying to say about your child, or is in a rush.... Then he/she is not the right one.


Do not blame yourself.
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Exactly!
 
Babyblue said:
:rofl:

Dang! He liked 'em pillows, you had! :giggle:

Know what ya mean!!!
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haha lol like any baby would! all the babies in my family love em. i hold my brand new baby cousin and he is out like a light in less than 10 minutes! and he fights worse than my brother used to!
 
Sometimes, you have to let the baby cry or fuss it out.

We can't always give them constant attention.

There are also other ways... doing something that might make the baby sleepy.

A self-rocking cradle?

A ride in the car?

A spinning musical/light-simulated mobile?
 
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