Any advice for hearing mom w/deaf baby?

[MsGiglz]

Just got this thread.. consider to read this..

http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=23105

my advices.. dont do CI just yet..

like others said.. leave it be.. just be around, let your child familar with surroundings like flashing.. I had a friend who is hearing with a deaf child.. she bought vibration watch with remote.. she press the remote.. it sents to child's wrist and feel vibration that the mother is calling ... and or.. flashing light too.. that my dad designed upstair light switch by the stairs to my bedroom light.. he flipped switch the lights to let me know whoever needs me.. I think its awesome!..

You are the more advantage than deaf parents with deaf child(ren) cuz you can hear your deaf child.. I dont see anything wrong.. just take your time to get use with deaf child.. and know your child's ways.. or surroundings..

just enjoy your baby.. (espically for me hearing kids.. one of them with accure asthma that needs to be listen the lungs everyday- i cant hear... same concept.. you are having deaf child..) hehe.. just be glad that you have beautiful child!

 

[FreeWoman77]

We are being told that our son is a candidate for CI. But the doctors arent sure why he is deaf. I had no complications and no-one else in our families are deaf. He passed his newborn hearing screening (OAE test) but just barely and had no response to ABR test up to 100 db (that is as high as the equipment went so we aren't sure if he has any response above that).I noticed that he was very visual at about a month old and didnt respond when i would talk to him or sing to him when he was sleeping. He would only wake up if I touched him. So we had more tests done. CAT scan etc. The ENT was not a nice doctor. He just said Isaac had nerve damage. I dont know if it is the auditory nerve or hair follicles in the cochlea. I do know that God is in control and that Isaac has a purpose and is perfect in our sight. We just want our son to be happy. I have heard that CI restricts many activities like sports and static from going down sliding boards can damage it. I will do everything in my power to ensure he has every opportunity to learn and grow. CI are just scary to me. I mean they cut open a baby's head and drill a hole in his skull! Why would anyone do that to a helpless baby? Do CI really benefit that much?

exact with my second daughter then at home she was sleeping quiet while i was vacuuming different with my older daughter so i brought her to ENT in her 2 mo found out she is profoundly deaf my older daughter is hard of hearing. My mother in law talked about CI for my girls i politely listened but didnt go ahead i prefer wait to let girls decide themselves. Right now older daughter is wearing hearing aid she is fine with it can talk on phone either HA on and w/o she can hear well, but younger daughter is so funny sign language i love to talk with her, she just turned 2 last xmas, what a blessing gift

 

[JeepGirl]

Just about all the posts in here are awesome!

I was born deaf and it was unknown.. I'm the only deaf in the family. I got tested when I was 6 months old and they said I was profoundly deaf and they got me hearing aids. I was told that I hated it! I would pull it out, (its because of the noise I was hearing). My parents forced me to keep wearing it and I went to a speech therapist to learn to speak. My parents didn't believe in sign language at the time so that makes me an oralist. The negative thing about it was I never could understand my family.. never could fit right in. They just talk and talk and I didn't understand them so that left me out.
When I got to middle school (mainstreamed), I had more deaf friends that were signing and I fell in love with it.. I felt fitted into the deaf world. The more I learned to sign the more I lost my speech. Now, my family looks at me how happy I was with using sign language and knew they made a mistake. That's something you can think about.. using sign language would help him communicate with you and your husband as well as other family members.

the CI, I'm not for it. I'm glad my parents didn't do this. Some were talking about Cued Speech.. i'm not for that either cuz the majority of deaf speaks in ASL. I'm fluent in ASL and I don't even understand what they say in cued speech.

 

[DeafMonkey]

When I was born as my mom thought I am hearing till 2 weeks later found out I am deaf cause when my mom took me to my grandparents' friend house that my grandparents' friend Paul ( i think his name) that he use saw machine to cut the tree it was SO LOUD!!!! while I was sleeping it was too close to me then my mom saw me that I didnt wake up and scare to crying and my grandmother saw that too and talked and staring at my mom that dont understand why I didnt wake up and my mom is cried cause I am deaf rather hearing so my mom took me to throld, ontario to checking me up if I am deaf or hearing but the doctor told my mom that I am hearing. My mom told doctor said can't be that I am hearing cause I didnt wake up from the so loud the noise. So my mom took me to Toronto hopstial to checking me up again till the doctor told my mom that I am deaf. It got me from German mealeas (sp) .. and also forgot to said that in my hearing nevres in both of in my ears are damages cant fix. so my mom put me wear FM system when i was 6 months old baby as I can hear to wear it .

My mom got accepted me being deaf. In few times she want me to wear hearing aids all the times cause she rather call my name instead of tap my shoulder to get attetion. but I love to hear the sound to wear my hearing aids all the times never without it lol .. one time in christmas day when my youngest sister was very very sick on xmas day and I dont use hearing aids in the morning that my mom tried to call me but I didnt hear it till my 3rd sister come and tap my shoulder to tell me " Mom wants you" so I turned and look at my mom and she said " where is your hearing aids?" I told her in bedroom not want to wear it till she got really so MAD! at me as i told her no no no no no then FINE!!!! I go and get my hearing aids then I told my mom HAPPY NOW? lol till she got used it if I have no hearing aids and all she have to come and tap my shoulder.

at work funny thing that my mom was stomp stomp stomp on the floor to get me attetion but I didnt feel it cause the floor was tooooo light can feel bang bang but I didnt get attetion .. when my mom call my name i get attetion .. i dont kow why I get attetion by their voice than floor bang to get attetion heheheh

Sorry long one story ! LOL !

 

[deafdyke]

Some were talking about Cued Speech.. i'm not for that either cuz the majority of deaf speaks in ASL.

loml, I think that's what they meant by the " not used too much." The population that uses CS exclusively is pretty small.
Issacmom, are you interested in speech therapy for your son? While pure "straight" oralism is boring and tedius, I do think that most dhh kids should try to develop speech skills, even if they are only survival phrases.
Speech skills are just a really useful thing to have. It's sort of like, if you were in a country where the native language was different from your native language, wouldn't you try to pick up some survival phrases?

 

[Endymion]

loml, I think that's what they meant by the " not used too much." The population that uses CS exclusively is pretty small.
Issacmom, are you interested in speech therapy for your son? While pure "straight" oralism is boring and tedius, I do think that most dhh kids should try to develop speech skills, even if they are only survival phrases.
Speech skills are just a really useful thing to have. It's sort of like, if you were in a country where the native language was different from your native language, wouldn't you try to pick up some survival phrases?

Makes me think of the time time an old friend of mine went to Russia and tried to say "Yo quiero Taco Bell."

 

[Isaacsmom]

Thank you all so much for your input and advice. It is awesome to hear about your experiences. I really like the idea with the watch that vibrates to get the child's attention. I have tried stomping on the floor to get Isaacs attention and it only works on the kitchen floor. I think the carpeting is harder to feel. Isaac is crawling around and is getting into everything now. He even tries to eat the dogs food if I turn my head away for a second. Do you know where to get a watch like that? I don't think Isaac hears much from his aids yet, but they are loaners from a hospital. We are waiting for medical assistance to be approved so he can get digital ones. He has analog now. But there is so much feedback! Does this hurt him? He is getting bigger molds tomorrow. Last night I think he did the sign for eat. It was so cute! but he used both hands! Just before I gave him his dinner. Do you know of any good toys for 9 month old babies? Most of the ones I see have sounds. I want ones that just flash lights or vibrate.

 

[CODAchild]

Isaccsmom to Alldeaf. You have received some really valuable information, especially from Momoftwo. Follow your heart, and you do what you feel is best for your son's life. Everyone that has answered you has given you some great advice. Things will calm down for you once everything has fallen into place for your son. I wish the best for you and your family, and may God bless you with strength for you son. Welcome aboard to Alldeaf, and happy posting!!

 

[FreeWoman77]

Thank you all so much for your input and advice. It is awesome to hear about your experiences. I really like the idea with the watch that vibrates to get the child's attention. I have tried stomping on the floor to get Isaacs attention and it only works on the kitchen floor. I think the carpeting is harder to feel. Isaac is crawling around and is getting into everything now. He even tries to eat the dogs food if I turn my head away for a second. Do you know where to get a watch like that? I don't think Isaac hears much from his aids yet, but they are loaners from a hospital. We are waiting for medical assistance to be approved so he can get digital ones. He has analog now. But there is so much feedback! Does this hurt him? He is getting bigger molds tomorrow. Last night I think he did the sign for eat. It was so cute! but he used both hands! Just before I gave him his dinner. Do you know of any good toys for 9 month old babies? Most of the ones I see have sounds. I want ones that just flash lights or vibrate.

right, deaf children're seeing to play flashing toys and moving something like truck or car or train, but some gets loud or noise they like sometimes, like i have drum my daughter can feel n like to play, another book attached small piano she can feel n look pages

 

[loml]

loml, I think that's what they meant by the " not used too much." The population that uses CS exclusively is pretty small.

deafdyke,

The number of users of CE/CS, imo, is not relevent to this discussion, for me. If a child has the opportunity to learn the language of his/her family via CS, the simple fact that they are able to communicate in whole sentences, phonetically, (the same way that a hearing child does), learning their families language, within their own family unit, imho, is a win win situation. Once a child has mastered their own family language, both in reading and writing, after all as parents we do wish our children to accomplish this, with as little pain as possible, then learning a second language is that much easier.

Deaf children must pay an exhausting amount of attention. no matter what communication method they use. Deaf children should learn ASL, from native signers, but imho, after they have mastered the language of their family. To insist that hearing parents learn ASL upon diagnosis of their deaf child, imo, is simply unfair to everyone, including the deaf child.

Language/communication should start at home, with the people who are most influential in a childs life; his/her parents.

 

[Kalista]

Thank you all for writing back. What is the difference between cued speech, oral and asl? Do most deaf use asl? There seems to be so many choices.

Oh Dear... Please do not take cued speech or oral!! it influence Deaf child very confuse with sign language and oral.

Oh gosh, I am very AGAINST cued speech, it is such no language for the Deaf people. It is useless !! loml Your recommendation is very BAD !!

Please do not listen loml's advise Isaacsmom

 

[loml]

Oh Dear... Please do not take cued speech or oral!! it influence Deaf child very confuse with sign language and oral.

Oh gosh, I am very AGAINST cued speech, it is such no language for the Deaf people. It is useless !! loml Your recommendation is very BAD !!

Please do not listen loml's advise Isaacsmom

At the risk of seeming harsh here Kalista, your statement reads simply as a person who knowns not of what they say.

CE/CS leads to literacy, cut and dry. Literacy, something everyone has the right to.

 

[Kalista]

At the risk of seeming harsh here Kalista, your statement reads simply as a person who knowns not of what they say.

CE/CS leads to literacy, cut and dry. Literacy, something everyone has the right to.

Unfortunately cued speech is such no language. It is such wasting a lot of time for the Deaf children to learn how to using the cued speech.

I know, there are several friends of mine. They were so upset because they never used that language in real world to conversation with other Deaf and Hard of Hearing people at Gallaudet and NTID.

It is very sad because they taught many Deaf children wrong languages. It is not their first language or literacy ASL because they are Deaf.

I am very sorry that I am very disagree with your perspective for the Deaf children. Everyone has the right to. Can you explain this to me more? cued speech is such idiot language ever I see. They used hands on the chin and mouth when they talked. Oh dear, their languages look like out of the space.

No Thanks loml !!!

 

[loml]

Unfortunately cued speech is such no language. It is such wasting a lot of time for the Deaf children to learn how to using the cued speech.
I know, there are several friends of mine. They were so upset because they never used that language in real world to conversation with other Deaf and Hard of Hearing people at Gallaudet and NTID.

It is very sad because they taught many Deaf children wrong languages. It is not their first language or literacy ASL because they are Deaf.

I am very sorry that I am very disagree with your perspective for the Deaf children. Everyone has the right to. Can you explain this to me more? cued speech is such idiot language ever I see. They used hands on the chin and mouth when they talked. Oh dear, their languages look like out of the space.

No Thanks loml !!!

Kalista,

CE/CS has never claimed to be a language. It is definately not a language. CE/CS is the method of delivery of language. Similairily to a hose that delivers water and the water not being a hose. Does this make sense?

You ask me to expain CE/CS to you, perhaps understanding that CE/CS is not language is the first step in clarifying for you.

Deaf and hearing children alike watch/read lips. CE/CS enables the "reader" to "see" the sound. Language, whether it is English, Dutch or Hidu is a combination of sounds. With English they are called vowels and consonants.
They group together in words to form phonomes, thus making English words, for example, phonectically based. This is how hearing children learn language. CE/CS enables the deaf child to learn English in the auditory part of the brain, learning to read and write similairly to that of their hearing peers. Definately a WIN WIN situation for families,imo. When you use CE/CS you do not need to actually speak, but you do need to "mouth" the words . Mouthing the words, then combining them with the hand placements or shapes, clarifies the vowel or consonants and forms the visual word( mouth and hand). When a deaf child learns language through the delivery method of CE/CS, they internalize the language, developing the rythym of the conversation of the world they live in. A child who watches the face of their mother, for example, who is talking and cueing, will mirror what they are seeing. The mouth is an extremely sensitive part of the body, and the simple fact that CE/CS can been done on either side of the face, delivers a tremendous amount of stimulation. A CE/CS users knows what their name "sounds" like just as they can learn what the "sound" of a person laughing. The success of CE/CS users with regard to literacy is undeniable.

I support the learning of ASL, as stated in my previous posts.

Kalista,
I hope this is of some help. I will be happy to answer any further questions that you have. Please do not hesitate to ask.

 

[deafdyke]

Deaf children should learn ASL, from native signers, but imho, after they have mastered the language of their family. To insist that hearing parents learn ASL upon diagnosis of their deaf child, imo, is simply unfair to everyone, including the deaf child.

Loml.......are you yourself dhh? All I'm saying is that I think that parents of deaf kids should use whatever works. What's wrong with that? I just think that familial language first mentality is not too good, b/c it expects that dhh kids will be able to master speech or spoken language. Also it tends to foster a "healthy normal" mentality....

 

[loml]

All I'm saying is that I think that parents of deaf kids should use whatever works. What's wrong with that?

deafdyke,

I agree with you. There is never anything wrong with doing "what works".

I just think that familial language first mentality is not too good, b/c it expects that dhh kids will be able to master speech or spoken language

I am not of this belief.

Also it tends to foster a "healthy normal" mentality....

You have lost me here........

 

[Reba]

CE/CS has never claimed to be a language. It is definately not a language. CE/CS is the method of delivery of language. Similairily to a hose that delivers water and the water not being a hose. Does this make sense?...

I agree.

Cued speech is not a language. It is a useful tool for learning an existing verbal language, such as English. (Also includes phonics training for reading skills, and explaining English "word play" when words "sound like" other words with different meanings.)

It is one more "tool" in the box. A good tool box can include a hammer (ASL), a screwdriver (oral/aural training), and cued speech (pliers). Each is an important tool but none replaces another. That is, the hammer doesn't replace the screwdriver, and the screwdriver doesn't replace the pliers. They each serve a purpose, and can be used together to accomplish a project (goal). Also, a hammer is not "better" than a screwdriver, and a screwdriver is not "better" than pliers. They are each designed for a specific purpose.

 

[Endymion]

I agree.

Cued speech is not a language. It is a useful tool for learning an existing verbal language, such as English. (Also includes phonics training for reading skills, and explaining English "word play" when words "sound like" other words with different meanings.)

It is one more "tool" in the box. A good tool box can include a hammer (ASL), a screwdriver (oral/aural training), and cued speech (pliers). Each is an important tool but none replaces another. That is, the hammer doesn't replace the screwdriver, and the screwdriver doesn't replace the pliers. They each serve a purpose, and can be used together to accomplish a project (goal). Also, a hammer is not "better" than a screwdriver, and a screwdriver is not "better" than pliers. They are each designed for a specific purpose.

Reba, I could have not said it better. I wholly endorse your analogy.

 

[loml]

I agree.

Cued speech is not a language. It is a useful tool for learning an existing verbal language, such as English. (Also includes phonics training for reading skills, and explaining English "word play" when words "sound like" other words with different meanings.)

It is one more "tool" in the box. A good tool box can include a hammer (ASL), a screwdriver (oral/aural training), and cued speech (pliers). Each is an important tool but none replaces another. That is, the hammer doesn't replace the screwdriver, and the screwdriver doesn't replace the pliers. They each serve a purpose, and can be used together to accomplish a project (goal). Also, a hammer is not "better" than a screwdriver, and a screwdriver is not "better" than pliers.

I agree with you Reba.

They are each designed for a specific purpose.

This statement you have made here is also very true.

Seriously, lets get to the heart of the matter. I would like to focus specifically on DOHA. Allowing for individual variables within each family unit, and presuming in this example that the "home" language is English, knowing the success of CE/CS with communication/literacy/inclusion, how do you justify to a parent the necessity of learning a "foreign language" at the time of diagnosis?

As each method is "designed for a specific purpose", why does there have to be pressure/quilt directed at the parent whose choice is CE/CS for the specific purpose of communication/literacy and inclusion.

CE/CS, ideally at home and in the learning enviroment, enables the deaf child to have reading and writing skills equal or surpassing that of their hearing peers. Is that not a goal all parents want for their children, the ability to read and write English?

CE/CS is a simple quick fit for DOHA and their families. Something that in the "big picture of life for a deaf child", matters a great deal.

 

[deafdyke]

VERY good anology Reba!!!!!! EVERY dhh kid should have the right to access all the tools in the box, from the get go instead of waiting.

I just think that familial language first mentality is not too good, b/c it expects that dhh kids will be able to master speech or spoken language



I am not of this belief.


Quote:
Also it tends to foster a "healthy normal" mentality....



You have lost me here........

As I said above, going with a spoken language first mentality, presumes that the dhh kid will be able to master spoken language. Not all dhh kids have a flair for expressing themselves in a spoken language. That said, there are kids out there who don't undy the syntax of ASL. In the first few years following identification of the dhh kid, the dhh kid and their families should have GOOD and easy access to ALL forms of commuication used. If the child has to make the effort to learn the native language of their families, then their families should make the effort to learn to Sign! It is DIFFICULT for us to go through speech therapy with the tediousness of going "Boo be bah" or trying to make ourselves understood or whatever.......