Adjustment to late onset deafness

That doesn't even make sense.

As for children, a lot of children and grandchildren think the same things as your daughter. Went to visit a friend and her grandson kept asking her something. When I told her that her grandson was repeatedly trying to talk to her, she signed to him that she's deaf and to ask his grandfather. I asked her if he really did understand that she was Deaf and she said, "He's young. He knows I can't hear but doesn't understand I can't hear him when he talks to me. He's young. When he gets older, he'll understand." He was around 3 or 4 at the time.


Makes perfect sense. This thread is for people dealing with adjustment issues much like an AA meeting is for people dealing with alcohol issues. People that have no problems with it don't normally go.

Daughter is 20 now. She understands perfectly. The point is it was an adjustment. You might notice that the word adjustment is in the title of this thread.
 
Makes perfect sense. This thread is for people dealing with adjustment issues much like an AA meeting is for people dealing with alcohol issues. People that have no problems with it don't normally go.

Daughter is 20 now. She understands perfectly. The point is it was an adjustment. You might notice that the word adjustment is in the title of this thread.

TXgolfer, I understand your point of view well. Daft, you know what you must be the most well balanced person in all of humanity if you think that this easy to deal with. Also, you must be the only one who never has issues with others dealing with your hearing problems adversely. I have had hearing problems since I was younger they didn't get to be an issue until in my later 20's and not until my 30's did I start to need aids all the time. I have dealt with this the best I can but if you think I don't miss the fact that there are things I will never hear again (like a bird singing). You are dead wrong and if you think that at times this isn't hard to deal your wrong there to. That is why I come here so that when I ask a question or say something its to learn and have understanding. Daft, if you don't need it then don't come to this thread there are many others I am sure you'll have a better time in. BTW, don't misconstrue what I am saying, I am saying if you don't have issues great, lucky you, I just may not be as lucky as you.
 
Ok, not sure to post this here, or in the “hearing or HoH” forum. Since most of my issues have been discussed here, I picked this posting.

A really fast recap so people don’t have to go jumping back to catch up. A few months ago (thinking about 4 now), I woke up with no hearing for about an hour or two (seemed like days.. but that is another issue). I got my hearing back so I just blew it off (I know, I know.. stupid, but hay) and hearing loss runs in my family. Since then I have had random losses of sound that will vary from a slight muffling, to complete loss of sound, each time with tinnitus that fades away. With lack of any medical coverage, I have skipped going to see my doctor or to an ENT tell my insurance at my new job kicks in (about 2 months from now) but I did go see a audiologist since they are not covered anyways. He tested my hearing and said that I am borderline between hearing and mild hearing loss (everything is in the mild except really high tones), and that since I still have great speech recognition, that hearing aids will not help me. He said to come back in one to three years, depending on if I start to not understand what people say. I told him that in a quiet room, I can track what is mostly said, but in a group or most public places, I find myself reading lips to “cross check” things. He said that HA’ s can’t help with this issue. After much forum reading and discussion here at AD, I had decided to learn ASL anyways in case things get worse and have enrolled in a sign class last week. I am still keeping this on the down low from work in fear that it will cost me my job since I am still a contractor and have not converted to full time employee. When asked about the sign or the AD forum reading at lunch, I just say it is for the class at school. After all, I answer the phones for tech support where I work, and fear this will be viewed as “not HoH or deaf compatible” by my bosses. My boss has yet to say anything about why I tend to ask people to repeat when given a string of random numbers (they have a use, but I cannot post why). I get maybe 30% wrong when told over the phone and often ask 2-3 times. I have already turned up the volume and that helped, but I have to turn it back down on some folks depending on the pitch of the voice.

Ok, now back to why I wanted to post this today. Yesterday I was at a store and practicing some grammar to myself when a guy flagged me down and asked why I was learning sign since I was hearing (first off, I was happy with myself that I knew what he was singing, and secondly It was the first signer I met without going to a signing gathering). I told him that I had found out about my hearing problem and that I was learning sign before I lose any more. He asked me where my HA’s are, and I told him what the audiologist said as well as I could (still learning and all). He then replied in voice and it was instant that he was really upset. He told me I am not hard of hearing since I do not need HA’s and that I should never claim to be HoH when I can hear without devices. Then he turned and stormed away.

To say I was embarrassed is an understatement, and very confused. I was not sure if I miss-signed something, or that he understood and was right, and that since I have most of my speech recognition that I should not by saying that I am HoH. I figured I would post this and see what you all think.
 
Why do you allow strangers to ask personal questions and comment on your personal life? This is a good opportunity to practice setting boundaries.

When he asked you why you were learning ASL , you could have asked him why he wants to know. That's what I do when someone asks me an inappropriate personal question. This puts the subject back onto the person asking a question. Then, the other person has 2 options. First, if he has a legitimate reason to ask (like he's looking for an ASL class or someone to practice ASL with), he will say what he needs and you many choose how to respond. If the person does *not* have a legitimate reason for asking (i.e., he's a nosy busybody), then it shuts down further inquiry (and you can exit stage left). No one is going to say because I'm a nosy asshat. It works! Remember the phrase: "Why do you want to know?"

It also works when someone makes inappropriate comments and acts inappropriately. In that case, you can say, "You seem to have a problem with [insert subject here]. Why?" So you can say, "You seem to have a problem with someone with a mild hearing loss learning ASL. Why?" Then, you'll find out and you won't leave the interaction wondering what his deal is. That's so frustrating!

Good luck!
 
Well, I didn’t think too much of the first question since his posture or facial expressions did not seem like he was upset when he asked it. I am still new to learning sign, I have studied videos to teach kids, and online sites like ASLpro and Lifeprints to construct basic signed English, but I have only had 2 classes of ASL 101 so my signing is spotty at best. I have had video calls with some of my Deaf friends I have made here on AD, and have gone to a few signing gatherings locally, so the simple things I can catch, and I have practiced/signed to others why I started learning sign before. So his question seemed normal since just about everyone I have meet has started with “are you hearing or deaf,” followed by “why did you start learning sign”.
As for the asking why he wants to know, I may have to bounce it off of someone fluent in sign to make sure I sign it without sounding rude..
I wish I could have found out why he had a issue with me learning sign, but the way he put it, I took it as he was upset that I said I was hoh.. Not sure, but from what I have read, mild is still hoh, despite it borders normal hearing, but I could be wrong about that. I am wondering at what stage of hearing loss is it ok to say hoh verses hearing..
 
Question, how do you approach a new landlord and tell them about your hearing problems. When I watch tv or worse when I listen to music, I have a bad habit of turning up the volume to where it's comfortable to me and I know that is not necessarily in the same range as normal for most. I am moving for the first time in 5 years and am unsure how to bring this up anyone got any advice.
 
Can't remember if I asked this or not.

Is it normal for a late deafened person to forget how to pronounce some words? I am finding more and more as time goes on since I lost all of my hearing that I will forget how to pronounce something and sit there stuttering and stammering. I then get frustrated and just write it out and it comes out fine, but I just can't say it.

This is while I am at home. When I am in public I use pencil and paper most all of the time now, but at home I still speak to the family. I have taken to just retreating to my room for the most part. I will come out for meals (I'm the cook) and errands (I'm the driver) and housework (that's me also), but any free time I am in my room so I don't have to talk with the family.

It's not really a depression, it's just very hard to try to read their lips all the time and I can't deal with the TV anymore and my mother and MIL have it on all the time.
 
I do that sometimes too kristina although my audi said stuttering isn't usually linked to deafness? lol i think part of it has to do with it and sometimes I talk to fast and get too ahead of myself. But I think the talking to fast has to do with not hearing myself properly. I don't have a lottttt of trouble but sometimes I do. I've been having a lot of trouble with speech discrim lately which sucks lol cuz is frustrating and I need new ha's
 
I do that sometimes too kristina although my audi said stuttering isn't usually linked to deafness? lol i think part of it has to do with it and sometimes I talk to fast and get too ahead of myself. But I think the talking to fast has to do with not hearing myself properly. I don't have a lottttt of trouble but sometimes I do. I've been having a lot of trouble with speech discrim lately which sucks lol cuz is frustrating and I need new ha's

I've been without HA's for 3 years and with total deafness for the same 3 years.

It happened at church today. I was very relaxed and was speaking with an old friend who got me and hubby together. We were talking about her mother who passed away 8 years ago, and I could not for the life of me remember how to say p-i-a-n-o. I have played one for the last 43 years, and it is my most favorite instrument, but I couldn't pronounce it. This friend understood what I meant and really felt bad for me. She's doesn't pity my, but she does empathize. I have told her that I am moving more and more into no speech and she understands.
 
Well that would be why your speech is going cuz you can't hear yourself. Is there a reason why you do not wear hearing aids?
 
Well that would be why your speech is going cuz you can't hear yourself. Is there a reason why you do not wear hearing aids?

My ear drums are now gone and they won't help. I have total loss.
 
Oh could you get CI or are you not interested. I wouldn't be able to be totally deaf. My profession requires me to hear and I don't know ASL ...yet lol
 
Eardrums gone? Wow, how does something like that occur? If I may ask....

I had a calcium deposit on both from birth. Over time it spread and tightened and squeezed the ear drum totally. That's the diagnosis from the ENT in St. Louis that I saw for SSDI.
 
Yes, Kristina, I had this experience, too. Before I got my hearing aids, I was losing my speech for certain sounds. I couldn't hear myself and it was so gradual that I didn't even realize it. After I got my hearing aids, I had to consciously practice certain sounds. I suppose that you can do the same thing without the hearing aids if you're concerned. I don't know what's going to happen now that I've lost more hearing. :dunno2:
 
Oh could you get CI or are you not interested. I wouldn't be able to be totally deaf. My profession requires me to hear and I don't know ASL ...yet lol

I am not a candidate and I would not want one. I don't like anyting in the ears as the swimmer's ear was more than I could handle, and the recovery time and commitment needed for CI I cannot do with being primary caregiver to 2 senior citizens and home schooling my 2 teens.
 
I had a calcium deposit on both from birth. Over time it spread and tightened and squeezed the ear drum totally. That's the diagnosis from the ENT in St. Louis that I saw for SSDI.

OIC, does this mean you have to be careful not to get your ears wet?
 
OIC, does this mean you have to be careful not to get your ears wet?

Not anymore - I just dry them really well. I use a towell, kleenix, then a mix of alcohol and peroxide with a little water that came from the Florida Speech & Hearing Center back in 1968.
 
Thanks, K; learned something there. Glad to hear you don't experience infections.
 
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