Adjustment to late onset deafness

Daft said:
Am I the only person who had the attitude of "I really don't care too much" about my hearing loss? When I noticed my hearing was starting to get bad, I simply signed up for an ASL class and started to hang out with the Deaf. Best thing I ever did. :wave:
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Sorry, but its just not that easy. you must have no previous life. Its a little different when everything is already invested into mainstream life and hearing world is all you ever known. Its impossible to just change everything "the matter of factly" It takes a while to understand the changes in sensory perception and then to obtain the appropriate skills and assistive technologies to where one can have completely adapted. Unless you lived in a box your whole life, its just not as simple as signing up for an ASL class and hanging out with deaf....there is much much more involved and it AINT always easy
 
Bottesini said:
Tousi has sparkly ear molds??????? :hmm: The things you learn everyday.
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Hahaha, Botti; I think Sal was speaking about herself. That said, I do have a hearing aid but it is far, far from sparkly. That just isn't me. :lol:

Thanks, Sallylou.
 
Tousi said:
Hahaha, Bitti; I think Sal was speaking about herself. That said, I do have a hearing aid but it is far, far from sparkly. That just isn't me. :lol:

Thanks, Sallylou.
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Bummer. I had this really great image in my head. :(

My shoelaces today say "I <3 Zombies."
 
Botti, I can always count on you for a laugh! :laugh2:

LDNana is getting the sparklies! Tousi is just secretly jealous. :giggle:

It was that easy for me, too. I am/was heavily invested in the hearing world. A family history of deafness may have influenced me; I believe, however, that it's because I'm generally very open to new things. I have interests in several communities and I love my eclectic group of friends. :cool2:
 
sallylou said:
Botti, I can always count on you for a laugh! :laugh2:

LDNana is getting the sparklies! Tousi is just secretly jealous. :giggle:

It was that easy for me, too. I am/was heavily invested in the hearing world. A family history of deafness may have influenced me; I believe, however, that it's because I'm generally very open to new things. I have interests in several communities and I love my eclectic group of friends. :cool2:
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Awww. I'm jealous of LDNana for getting sparklies.. :D <---- green with envy. I've always had plain earmolds before I got my CI.

While deafness is all I have ever known, I'm sure i would have a difficult time adjusting to being blind as well as deaf.
 
it is true I am not late-deafened. But since I have started losing my hearing, I have just pretty much looked around for Deaf socials and started going to them, and looked for an ASL Class and found one etc. There happens to be that available in my area and I can do it. So for me it has been kind of a "just like that" thing. I was involved with Deaf people prior to this however, having some d/Deaf friends and having worked with Deaf kids some years ago.
Also, I kinda am used to looking at things differently, as someone with LD, and who is open to various things, like sally was talking about-
 
hohDougRN said:
Sorry, but its just not that easy. you must have no previous life. Its a little different when everything is already invested into mainstream life and hearing world is all you ever known. Its impossible to just change everything "the matter of factly" It takes a while to understand the changes in sensory perception and then to obtain the appropriate skills and assistive technologies to where one can have completely adapted. Unless you lived in a box your whole life, its just not as simple as signing up for an ASL class and hanging out with deaf....there is much much more involved and it AINT always easy
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I don't think it's fair to assume that just cause someone handles hearing loss well that they have no life. Hearing loss is harder on some people than others. Some people are more attached to their hearing than others, some have better coping skills than others, and some people have more support than others.
 
It would have been easier for me to cope if there was a deaf community here. Alas. There is one ASL class. I have taken it twice. It is ASL one. I did take further classes from two terps. the teacher and the younger terp are now friends. My young terp friend came over again tonight to have supper with us. It is sooooo nice to sign, not having to say HUH so often, and to enjoy the conversation.

I agree, circumstances and support from family, friends and community is key to the transition. (of hearing loss or deafness) Whatever support is there, go there, learn, make friends. Some folks keep focusing on the past and feel a heavy burden of loss. Grieving is ok and healthy. Other folks can focus better on acceptance. These folks can go on with their life, making a smoother transition. Everyone is different.
 
Daft said:
Yeah, right. Whatever, dude.
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No DougRN is exacly right. Many of us were on a career path that required hearing so in addition to dealing with and preparing for deafness we had to adjust our career plans as well. Also LD also often comes with other complications as well like vertigo that makes it tough to deal with.

It seems your assertion is that all lives are the same. And that all causes of deafness are the same. Therefore the way people adjust should be the same. That line of thinking is just......well.....daft.:P
 
No DougRN is exacly right. Many of us were on a career path that required hearing so in addition to dealing with and preparing for deafness we had to adjust our career plans as well. Also LD also often comes with other complications as well like vertigo that makes it tough to deal with.
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Nope, DougRN is totally off. My career path definitely required hearing - but if it it's not an option, its not an option. No need to gnash teeth and rent clothing over the inevitable. Life can be tough. But one deals with it and continues.
 
LDNanna said:
I agree, circumstances and support from family, friends and community is key to the transition. (of hearing loss or deafness) Whatever support is there, go there, learn, make friends. Some folks keep focusing on the past and feel a heavy burden of loss. Grieving is ok and healthy. Other folks can focus better on acceptance. These folks can go on with their life, making a smoother transition. Everyone is different.
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This has made all the difference for me. Having been through adjusting to vision loss helped me too. I already learned the lesson that it's just about learning a different way to do things.
 
There's no career that deaf people cannot pursue without accommodations. Never under estimate the power of determination and hard work. Deaf people can do anything hearing people can do except hear.

Adjustment depends on a person's attitude, too. A positive attitude makes people more resilient. I've noticed this with my elderly relatives. The relatives who have a positive attitude and more social connections adjust to age related issues better and have a better quality of life. I've come to appreciate how important flexibility is!

I also think that it helps to find meaning in your life. If people view deafness as a meaningful experience rather than a random act that victimizes them, they will adjust more easily.
 
sallylou said:
There's no career that deaf people cannot pursue without accommodations. Never under estimate the power of determination and hard work. Deaf people can do anything hearing people can do except hear.

Adjustment depends on a person's attitude, too. A positive attitude makes people more resilient. I've noticed this with my elderly relatives. The relatives who have a positive attitude and more social connections adjust to age related issues better and have a better quality of life. I've come to appreciate how important flexibility is!

I also think that it helps to find meaning in your life. If people view deafness as a meaningful experience rather than a random act that victimizes them, they will adjust more easily.
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Geez, the point is it is an adjustment. In fact that it in the title of this thread. Yes of course a positive attitude helps. But denial doesn't. I also noted that many LDs suffer from other complications as well. Like vertigo with Meniere's or a Perilymph Fistula. These CAN create the need for a career change. Explaining to your 3 yo daughter why you can't hear her anymore is difficult as well. Nobody said it was impossible. Nobody is crying about it.

Since the point of this thread is to help people dealing with issues related to becoming LD. It is insensitive for someone to come in here as Daft did and imply others are weak for struggling with it. If he has no issues with LD and nothing to offer as support I question why he would bother to post in this thread.
 
It is insensitive for someone to come in here as Daft did and imply others are weak for struggling with it.
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What a load of horsepoop. Nothing in my posting remotely suggested such. It asked if any others had very little issue with their hearing-loss and simply accepted the fact and moved on with very little of the grieving process.
 
TXgolfer, I didn't interpret Daft's posts that way. I believe that he was saying that his adjustment involved seeking out the deaf community and that helped him. I've discussed the support of the deaf community as integral to my adjustment, too.

Personally, I had a long denial period but a short grief period. Having a family history of deafness made adjustment easier once I accepted my reality. Each person has his or her own path.

BTW, kids are very accepting. My deaf grandpa was the best. I thought that everyone had a deaf grandpa or should have one!
 
Would it be insensitive if someone walked into an AA meeting and said "Wow, am I the only person in here that doesn't have a problem with alcohol"? Since this is a thread for people dealing with the adjustment I see it as the same thing.

As for my daughter, I am sure she still thought I was cool. But I know she also wondered why I didn't answer when she would ask a question anymore. Or why I didn't come running when she would cry like I used too. Why I couldn't drive her to school on certain days (vertigo) like I had before. We did it though. We survived. And we survived her mother's sudden passing 7 years ago too. But it was difficult. And that is the point of this thread. To help people who are dealing with the adjustments. That's why I see someone coming in here saying hey hey no problems here, I just learned asl as being insensitive.
 
sallylou said:
I believe that he was saying that his adjustment involved seeking out the deaf community and that helped him. I've discussed the support of the deaf community as integral to my adjustment, too.
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I met Deaf people very soon after being diagnosed with hearing loss which helped a lot. And not just any Deaf people, ones who were very patient and understanding that I'm learning ASL. Meeting other Deaf/Hoh also helped ease my concerns of being cut off from society.
 
Would it be insensitive if someone walked into an AA meeting and said "Wow, am I the only person in here that doesn't have a problem with alcohol"?
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That doesn't even make sense.

As for children, a lot of children and grandchildren think the same things as your daughter. Went to visit a friend and her grandson kept asking her something. When I told her that her grandson was repeatedly trying to talk to her, she signed to him that she's deaf and to ask his grandfather. I asked her if he really did understand that she was Deaf and she said, "He's young. He knows I can't hear but doesn't understand I can't hear him when he talks to me. He's young. When he gets older, he'll understand." He was around 3 or 4 at the time.
 
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