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Imminent Terrorist Attack Warning: Ft. Bliss TX Increases Security

Wirelessly posted Two deaf men are signing to each other. The first man asks, "What did your wife say when you got home late last night? The second man replies, "She swore a blue streak" And the first man asks, "What did you do then?" And the second man replies, "I turned out the...

Wirelessly posted (The blunders found below are said to be written by actual students and are "genuine, authentic, and unretouched." They were compiled by Richard Lederer, and appear in the 12/31/95 edition of "National Review" magazine.) It is truly astonishing what happens in Bible...

Wirelessly posted A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few...

Wirelessly posted Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation...

Wirelessly posted There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this senior citizen handled it. An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office...

Wirelessly posted On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, "I can't wear your pants." "That's right," intoned the groom, "And don't you forget it. I'm the one who wears the pants in the...

Wirelessly posted What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professional man who will just love them for who they are. What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them only because no other woman wants him. What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and...

Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows CE; IEMobile 7.11) 320x320; XV6900; Window Mobile 6.1 Professional;) This is a test to show how conditioned people have become to the alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. For...

Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows CE; IEMobile 7.11) 320x320; XV6900; Window Mobile 6.1 Professional;) Can you imagine working for this organization? It has less than 550 employees with the following statistics: *29 have been accused of spousal abuse *7 have been...

Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows CE; IEMobile 7.11) 320x320; XV6900; Window Mobile 6.1 Professional;) A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side...

An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything for a while the Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said "forget it buddy there's no paper in here either."

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer...

Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows CE; IEMobile 7.11) 320x320; XV6900; Window Mobile 6.1 Professional;) A well dressed gentlemen enters the bar of a five star restaurant, sits at the bar and orders four very expensive drinks. The bartender serves them on a silver...

Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows CE; IEMobile 7.11) 320x320; XV6900; Window Mobile 6.1 Professional;) A Kentucky family took a vacation to New York City. For an adventure, the father took his son to see a skyscraper. They were amazed by everything they saw --...

Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows CE; IEMobile 7.11) 320x320; XV6900; Window Mobile 6.1 Professional;) A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee. The waitress, who is very busy, gives him his...

History Mystery Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can. Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Both...

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly. Listed below are lifesaving answers to life-threatening questions: 1. "What are you thinking?" The proper...

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach. Locking his steely grey eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her...

Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?" The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said...