Found Long Lost Biological Son (i think)....

[Eve]

You are indeed correct Eve, BOUGHT baby was said tounge in cheek.(note that I put LOL in) however it does not change the fact that some babies are better off in stable adopted homes, now matter whether money changes hands or not, than they are left with parents who are unable to provide them with the necessities of life. From what WW has said both his sons have benefited greatly from being adopted, good educations etc.

Whilst those of us who have never been in this situation may become indignant at the thought of baby trafficing I still feel we do not have the right to judge. There are other factors to consider....did WW and wife have extended family support at that time? I would assume WW is deaf, is her wife also deaf? Being young, deaf and pregnant is a very vulnerable position to be in, add the stress of joblessness and it is very easy to take the quick way out. You mentioned earlier that you had struggled to keep your family together, I applaud you for that, I have very often been the sole breadwinner in our family. However not everyone has the inner strength to pull this off.

While I completely agree with your sentiments that the child is better off in a home that can support him, there are many of us who have been in the situation of being "too young" and "immature" to properly care for our young and have lovingly placed our babies for adoption in order to give them a better life, not because it would mean a monetary payoff for ourselves, but because we put the child's needs above and beyond our own. THAT I respect.

 

[Eve]

That was a very loving and mature decision. Bless you.

I'm still not convinced that it was either loving or mature when money changed hands.

 

[Eve]

P.S. Don't forget the watch the MORNING SHOW with Mike & Juliette this morning to see reunions of birth mothers (who didn't sell their children) and adoptees. After all, this is National Adoption Month.

 

[Schermy]

I completely agree with Cheri, my main concern is for the children. It may be devastating for them to find that they were SOLD. However, I am glad that they were adopted into families that WANTED them and could provide for their needs and education.

Ok I was on vacation for a while and I just had time now to look at this thread again. Eve, you have no proof that this child was sold. There are quite a few adoptions that have happened that paid the birth mothers expenses. So, until you have read all the legal documnets from this adoption, don't you think you should stop using that term. Is it possible that you missunderstood how WW explaind the adoption or that WW didn't explain it clear enough? It seems to me you should stop bashing someone who in the end did the right thing for the child. That is what your "main concern" is isn't it? So why are you worried about how it happend? Just be glad that this child ended up with great adoptive parents and has a great life. Untill you have ALL the facts, you really should stop saying that the child was sold. That's my thoughts.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Reba, it's okay to let him to contact his son as long as he learns the hard way by acceptin' what is goin' to come to him from his long lost son. His son might ask him some questions that WW will face. Just let WW learn. If, there's no honest answer from him to the son that the son wants to hear, then it is up to the son to draw the line by not wantin' to contact or see his biological father ever again. That's the son's decision to do so since the father wants to contact him. It's okay to learn the hard way if, this should happen. It's all about life.

Yes I second that.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I guess my question would be, what next? What if WW’s son doesn’t want to meet? What if the son doesn’t accept the transgender issue? What if the son is not willing to forgive WW for selling him? What if there isn't a solution? What then?

Exactly, let him face himself to see either his son forgive him or not... then he will know what he stand... like what he said in his previous post that he accept the fact that his first son don´t want to see him but want to contact his half brother. He will also accept IF his second son don´t want to see him, too.

It´s no good to keep doubt myself forever either my birth son want to see me or not. Face to face then will know what I stand. I rather to find out myself then keep doubt inside me to make myself sick.

 

[Eve]

Ok I was on vacation for a while and I just had time now to look at this thread again. Eve, you have no proof that this child was sold.

You obviously haven’t bothered to read ALL of this thread….here, let me help you out…

to give our child to the adoption parents to make the payments to us which total worth $5,000 that time

giving him up for adoption when he was 7 1/2 months old

The time for collecting “birth” expenses is when the baby is an infant, not 7 ½ months after the fact.

It´s no good to keep doubt myself forever either my birth son want to see me or not. Face to face then will know what I stand. I rather to find out myself then keep doubt inside me to make myself sick.

If that is your reasoning, then you are acting selfishly because you are not doing it in the best interest of the child, but for your own selfish reasons (to make yourself feel better). I think that is why I have been pushing so hard, because I am afraid for this child. This child has already been sold at the age of 7 ½ months, long after he had bonded with his mother, it could be devastating to put anymore emotional trauma on him even though he is now grown and has a much better life.

 

[Eve]

Statutes-at-a-Glance: State Regulation of Adoption Expenses

 

[Maria]

It makes no difference if, it was bought. If, the childless couple want to meet a surrogate mother to discuss about givin' the childless couple a child, then they will have to pay the surrogate mother's hospital bills & prenatal care check up. Does that means the surrogate mother sell this child to the childless couple if, it means for the money to pay the surrogate mother's hospital bills/prenatal care check up ? I don't see any difference between WW's case and surrogate mother. Money doesn't mean anythin' as long as this child has a better home to care for.

Important : Love and have a better life for this child.

 

[Schermy]

You obviously haven’t bothered to read ALL of this thread….here, let me help you out…The time for collecting “birth” expenses is when the baby is an infant, not 7 ½ months after the fact.

If that is your reasoning, then you are acting selfishly because you are not doing it in the best interest of the child, but for your own selfish reasons (to make yourself feel better). I think that is why I have been pushing so hard, because I am afraid for this child. This child has already been sold at the age of 7 ½ months, long after he had bonded with his mother, it could be devastating to put anymore emotional trauma on him even though he is now grown and has a much better life.

I did read all of this thread and unlike you I did not pick and choose what I wanted it to read. WhiteWolf posted:
found a couple who had childless for 18 yrs and we signed similar contract to give our child to the adoption parents to make the payments to us which total worth $5,000 that time He NEVER said it was for 7 1/2 months after the fact. He had to give up his first child when it was 7 1/2 months old!!! Now, may be instead of automaticly accusing WhiteWolf of selling his second child, why not ask what the terms were and why they accepted the money. Is is possible you are wrong? It does happen in life. I've been wrong in life before. Really, until you have ALL the facts you should stop with this "Selling" and "Sold" business.

 

[Reba]

Reba, it's okay to let him to contact his son as long as he learns the hard way by acceptin' what is goin' to come to him from his long lost son. His son might ask him some questions that WW will face. Just let WW learn.

But what about the son? What are his rights? Why should he have to "learn the hard way?" He didn't do anything wrong. Why should this conflict be inflicted upon him? Did the son ask for this disruption in his life?

If, there's no honest answer from him to the son that the son wants to hear, then it is up to the son to draw the line by not wantin' to contact or see his biological father ever again. That's the son's decision to do so since the father wants to contact him. It's okay to learn the hard way if, this should happen. It's all about life.

Maybe the son doesn't know what to expect. Do you truly believe most adopted kids expect to find out that their birth parents are transgendered, and that their birth parents took money for them? How can he reasonably "draw the line" if he doesn't know what to expect?

However, the birth parents do know the story, and therefore it's their responsibility to "draw the line" before they even approach the son, if they even try to approach him.

The birth parents made their decision to give up all parental rights many years ago. If the son wants to reunite that's up to him. But it is not the birth parents "right".

 

[Reba]

Instead of debating and speculating what WW meant, we should let WW answer the question.

WW, did you agree to turn over parental rights to your baby for $5,000? Did you use the entire $5,000 for only expenses related to pregnancy and child birth? That is, expenses for pre-natal vitamins and doctor appointments, and hospital delivery expenses.

Did you agree to let the childless couple take the baby before you agreed to accept the $5,000, or after? Who made the $5,000 offer, you or the other couple? If that couple couldn't get $5,000 for you, would you have given them your baby for free anyway? Did the couple hand cash directly to you, or did you get a check from the adoption agency?

I'm sorry to seem so nosy but there is too much "guessing" going on here. If we have misinterpreted anything that you posted, now is your opportunity to correct that.

Thank you.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

If that is your reasoning, then you are acting selfishly because you are not doing it in the best interest of the child, but for your own selfish reasons (to make yourself feel better). I think that is why I have been pushing so hard, because I am afraid for this child. This child has already been sold at the age of 7 ½ months, long after he had bonded with his mother, it could be devastating to put anymore emotional trauma on him even though he is now grown and has a much better life.

I am sorry that you interpret my post in wrong way. It has nothing do with "feel yourself better" ... Many parents boil guilt inside them after give their babies up for an adoption and think how they are and hope they are okay and hope they forgive them or also birth children as well. My friend who gave her daughter up for an adoption and still think a lot about her and watch her for years until her birth daughter is 18 years old. She contact adoption agency for want to reunion with her birth daughter. They contact her... They agreed to reunion each other for a first time. They are happy... Since their first contact, they keep in touch each other time to time. Her birth daughter finally trust her that she is not happy with her adoptive parents. They shared their feeling, etc. Are they feel good themselves? No, it has nothing do with "feel themselves better" but do good for them because they have feeling and need to talk and need to know and need to find out...

You call it selfish when the birth children or parent want to contact their birth mother or children to find out themselves?... Would you also call the children selfish for want to contact their birth mothers, too?

Why do we have adoption agency for allow birth children and mothers to reunion each other? Would you also call it selfish or what?

For me, birth children or parents want to contact their birth parents or children to find out themselves is normal. That´s why we have adoption agency to allow birth children and parent to contact each other to find out themselves.

I don´t beleive to hide birth children or mother away from birth mother or children forever.

My British best friend´s mother runaway when she & her siblings were toddlers. They haven´t see her ever since. Her siblings don´t want to do anything with her birth mother but my best friend. She contacted Army salavation to find where her mother is and want to find out but they told her that they found her mother but she don´t want to do anything with her. It took her long time to accept the fact that her mother don´t want to see her. She still don´t know the reason why her mother runaway. She has guilt inside her and keep wondering herself why why why her mother runaway? Do you still call it selfish?

They have feeling.

Edit: Thank you for share your experience, RayKat. Yes, you has a good point and know how you feeling.

Anyway, I beleive that WW will accept the fact if his second son don´t want to see him. WW said that he will update about his reunion with his second son. He rather to find out himself and accept negetive or positive.

 

[Eve]

As I said before, I don't have a problem with it if it is done in the best interest of the child. After all, the child is the innocent one here. The birth mother made her choice when she gave up her parental rights. If BOTH parties want to find each other, there are state registries which BOTH can sign to be reunited. If a birth mother is simply wanting to reassure herself that she made the right choice, she can investigate and find out how the child is doing without interfering in their life.

 

[Reba]

As I said before, I don't have a problem with it if it is done in the best interest of the child. After all, the child is the innocent one here. The birth mother made her choice when she gave up her parental rights. If BOTH parties want to find each other, there are state registries which BOTH can sign to be reunited. If a birth mother is simply wanting to reassure herself that she made the right choice, she can investigate and find out how the child is doing without interfering in their life.

 

[Maria]

But what about the son? What are his rights? Why should he have to "learn the hard way?" He didn't do anything wrong. Why should this conflict be inflicted upon him? Did the son ask for this disruption in his life?

I am talkin' about WW, not the son. I am sorry if, I confused you. The son has every right to draw the line or keep in touch with the father.


Maybe the son doesn't know what to expect. Do you truly believe most adopted kids expect to find out that their birth parents are transgendered, and that their birth parents took money for them? How can he reasonably "draw the line" if he doesn't know what to expect?

I am just sayin' a big IF's when it comes to the son's decision after what he learns from the father soon or later... that's if, they both make a conversation.

However, the birth parents do know the story, and therefore it's their responsibility to "draw the line" before they even approach the son, if they even try to approach him.

Well, like WW said that his first oldest son were askin' for his other half brother -- that was how the birth parents made the contact with the adoptee parents about this. WW, correct me if, I am wrong.

The birth parents made their decision to give up all parental rights many years ago. If the son wants to reunite that's up to him. But it is not the birth parents "right".

Right, that's what I am sayin' all along. It's up to the son. WW's first son don't want to make a contact with the birth parents, but would like to know about his other half brother... WW gave the adoptee parents some info. of WW's 2nd son for his first son to reunite. I think that's what WW been tryin' to explain.

And, yes we better let WW to explain himself if, that's what he means.

 

[Angel]

As I said before, I don't have a problem with it if it is done in the best interest of the child. After all, the child is the innocent one here. The birth mother made her choice when she gave up her parental rights. If BOTH parties want to find each other, there are state registries which BOTH can sign to be reunited. If a birth mother is simply wanting to reassure herself that she made the right choice, she can investigate and find out how the child is doing without interfering in their life.

I absolutely agree!

 

[fredfam1]

I'm still not convinced that it was either loving or mature when money changed hands.

If either one of them felt they were emotionally incapable of
raising a child, then it was far better they place the child
with some one who could give the child the emotional
balance needed reguardless of weather money changed
hands. While I agree that money should not change hands,
the issue appears to be one of emotional stability at the
time.

 

[Eve]

There is one question I have though....what about the birth siblings? They are both innocent in the matter. Do you all feel it is appropriate for one birth sibling to seek out the other, whether or not they want to be found?

 

[WhiteWolves64]

But what about the son? What are his rights? Why should he have to "learn the hard way?" He didn't do anything wrong. Why should this conflict be inflicted upon him? Did the son ask for this disruption in his life?


Maybe the son doesn't know what to expect. Do you truly believe most adopted kids expect to find out that their birth parents are transgendered, and that their birth parents took money for them? How can he reasonably "draw the line" if he doesn't know what to expect?

However, the birth parents do know the story, and therefore it's their responsibility to "draw the line" before they even approach the son, if they even try to approach him.

The birth parents made their decision to give up all parental rights many years ago. If the son wants to reunite that's up to him. But it is not the birth parents "right".

That's correct!!!!

Instead of debating and speculating what WW meant, we should let WW answer the question.

WW, did you agree to turn over parental rights to your baby for $5,000? Did you use the entire $5,000 for only expenses related to pregnancy and child birth? That is, expenses for pre-natal vitamins and doctor appointments, and hospital delivery expenses.

yes

Did you agree to let the childless couple take the baby before you agreed to accept the $5,000, or after? Who made the $5,000 offer, you or the other couple? If that couple couldn't get $5,000 for you, would you have given them your baby for free anyway? Did the couple hand cash directly to you, or did you get a check from the adoption agency?

before.... The adoption agency was telling me that we can get the payments for each child for the expenses and etc... i got the payment checks ($500.00 each monthly for 10 months total $5,000.00) from the adoption agency that got from the adoption's laywer.... If they have no money and i would give them free anyway with my heartbeat!!!! But again, we were needed the money to pay for our expenses...

I'm sorry to seem so nosy but there is too much "guessing" going on here. If we have misinterpreted anything that you posted, now is your opportunity to correct that.

Thank you.

Thank you for bringing this up and i am trying to do my best to give the answers for you all ok....

Right, that's what I am sayin' all along. It's up to the son. WW's first son don't want to make a contact with the birth parents, but would like to know about his other half brother... WW gave the adoptee parents some info. of WW's 2nd son for his first son to reunite. I think that's what WW been tryin' to explain.

And, yes we better let WW to explain himself if, that's what he means.

Yes that's correct and we will ask them (second adoptive parents) for further questions whether if Douglas want to keep in touch with us or not after thanksgiving that would be the best...


As for you Eve, Please STOP Bashing about "SELLING" and/or "SOLD" words here.... LET IT GO!!!!!!!!! This is about our reunited our second son... We have learned our mistakes in 21 years ago.... BIG IF, we are millioniare and we would like to adopt two pre teen kids in heartbeat for sure as we have been talking about that alot in a couple of years now... But of course, we don't have that kind of money to raise our own kids when we were young!!!!! Sheesh!!! Knock it off will you, EVE!!!!!!!!!!