It's A Parents Decision

Well its like.........say for example a minority baby being adopted by parents who are white. Being raised by white parents, doesn't mean that the baby will automaticly fit in 100% with white culture.

Or a minority baby being adopted by a white family. The color of that baby's skin doesn't mean that he or she will automatically fit in 100% with black culture.
 
Not knowing sign is NOT a loss. It's just the way it is.

They don't have any use for it.... they don't use it...

Who is "They" You the parent or the children, be more specify.

Yes, It is a loss, because sign always been known to the Deaf, and it always will , You can't change that fact. ;)
 
Sometimes, that superiority complex is a mask for a great deal of inferiority.

Believe it or not, I think he actually does like himself.

Besides, I've read posts of people who obviously have low self esteem and self doubt in themselves. In an internet context, they tend to find boards or discussions about issues that don't really directly impact on them and argue and argue as if they are trying to convince themselves of something. e.g. a closet gay going to a homosexuality board and arguing against the gays but continuing to insist that he is proud of his straightness. It makes you think "hmmm, doth protesteth too much?"

People with good self esteem don't care too much what other people are doing and are happy in themselves.
 

Wow! That is so awesome what your parents did for you and the sacrifices they have made to ensure that your needs were met first. I would love to hug your parents. :)

Communication, knowledge and literacy skills are so much more important than just learning how to speak and lipread. If a deaf child can speak and lipread/hear but have very little knowledge or poor literacy skills, then the child will always be at a disadvantage and life will be a struggle for that child but then again, that child is at the mercy of the parents and the parents know best for their children right?


Funny thing is that many deaf parents of hearing children that I know always ensure that their child gets exposed to spoken language while at an early age even hiring speech therapists if they couldnt provide the spoken language cuz they know that it is their child's natural language and they know that importance of it. Is it so much to ask the same from hearing parents of deaf children regarding to sign language?
 
But Cheri - if a deaf child is born into a HEARING culture, (ie: a hearing family) how are they being "robbed" of anything? I don't see how they simply acquire "deaf culture" just by BEING deaf.

Culture can be defined as:

the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group: the youth culture; the drug culture.
Anthropology. the sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generation to another


So wouldn't a deaf child born into a hearing family have a HEARING cultural background - after all that's the background of their parents/family.

The reason I'm asking this is I never could understand the "deaf culture" card being thrown around when the majority of deaf children are NOT born into deaf culture. You can't steal what you never had in the first place.

neecy,

Good definition, here are a couple others I was able to find:

Although there is no standard definition of culture, most alternatives incorporate the Boasian postulates as in the case of Bates and Plog's offering, which we shall accept as a working version:

Culture: The system of shared beliefs, values, customs, behaviours, and artifacts that the members of society use to cope with their world and with one another, and that are transmitted from generation to generation through learning
This is a complex definition and points to four important characteristics stressed by cultural relativists:
symbolic composition,
systematic patterning,
learned transmission,
societal grounding.


Notes Toward a Definition of Culture
Marshall Soules
In 1871 E.B. Taylor defined culture as "that complex whole which includes knowledge, belief, art, morals, law, customs, and many other capabilities and habits acquired by...[members] of society."

"Culture means the total body of tradition borne by a society and transmitted from generation to generation. It thus refers to the norms, values, standards by which people act, and it includes the ways distinctive in each society of ordering the world and rendering it intelligible. Culture is...a set of mechanisms for survival, but it provides us also with a definition of reality. It is the matrix into which we are born, it is the anvil upon which our persons and destinies are forged." (Robert Murphy. Culture and Social Anthropology: An Overture. 2nd ed. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1986: 14)



And from the American Heritage Dictionary:
The totality of socially transmitted behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, institutions, and all other products of human work and thought
 
For a deaf child, not knowing sign is a definate loss--and not knowing the deaf culture that gives them pride and confidence in who they are, and teaches them that they are not defective hearing people, but whole and beautiful deaf people is criminal.

That is your opinion but it is premised upon a false assumption. One does not need Deaf Culture to know that one is a whole and complete beautiful person. That same positive self-image can be fostered and developed by strong parental love, a loving and warm family environment, religion, the installation of a strong value, moral and ethics system and many other factors.
 
That is your opinion but it is premised upon a false assumption. One does not need Deaf Culture to know that one is a whole and complete beautiful person. That same positive self-image can be fostered and developed by strong parental love, a loving and warm family environment, religion, the installation of a strong value, moral and ethics system and many other factors.

Your daughter is happy so no worries. :)
 
I was born into a hearing world. When I learned ASL and Deaf culture, I found out I already had a little bit of Deaf culture growing up. I could go on and discuss more about that, but too many hearies and CI ethnocentrists would just squander what I would say.. So, it's pointless.
 
I was born into a hearing world. When I learned ASL and Deaf culture, I found out I already had a little bit of Deaf culture growing up. I could go on and discuss more about that, but too many hearies and CI ethnocentrists would just squander what I would say.. So, it's pointless.

Yea, I am begining to feel the same way so I should just stay out of the parents' threads then?
 
Your daughter is happy so no worries. :)

No Shel, its not that easy. Yes, we worry. Constantly. The word "worry" in the dictionary has my wife's picture next to it! However, we talk to each other constantly. Those hours that my wife spent with my daughter, the "easy" route as one person described it, going over those "meaningless words and syllables" as stated by another, have now blossomed into words, ideas, thoughts, stories, feelings, etc.

We talk, we communicate we stay involved in her life.
 
No Shel, its not that easy. Yes, we worry. Constantly. The word "worry" in the dictionary has my wife's picture next to it! However, we talk to each other constantly. Those hours that my wife spent with my daughter, the "easy" route as one person described it, going over those "meaningless words and syllables" as stated by another, have now blossomed into words, ideas, thoughts, stories, feelings, etc.

We talk, we communicate we stay involved in her life.

You say she is happy and well-adjusted now so apparently everything went well, right? She is very lucky then.
 
I am very passed on this thread, and don't know what's going on here, but I want to post my debate.

Even though I have a CI myself, I think parent's decision on newborn pro deaf baby to get CI is VERY VERY VERY wrong. Also I think it should be illegal.

The CI is a surgery option, not a communication option. If you want to find a cheaper way, just let the children to go to deaf school and stay there, let that children be happy what he/she is. You absolute don't have to learn sign, you can just write to your children! Simple. Or maybe you can make a home sign language. That is the cheapest way instead trying to rip government off, or wasting lot of money on the CI.

Also the CI do not help me to learn how to talk. It only help me to understand the sounds, but for my talking, no, not really. I only can talk very slowly, at very simple words.

If my children are hearing, I am deaf, would I force my children to sign? Of course not. It is UP to the children. If my hearing children don't want to learn the sign, fine with me, we can write.

It always hurt my feelings when parents say "It's not your business, that is my decision for our children". I feel like what about the children? Is that what children want? Will that children be happy with the parent's decision?

I believe those parents who decide that way absolute don't care about the children, but only the best for them.

Sorry for the angry response, but I just don't like the view of parent's decision.
 
I am very passed on this thread, and don't know what's going on here, but I want to post my debate.

Even though I have a CI myself, I think parent's decision on newborn pro deaf baby to get CI is VERY VERY VERY wrong. Also I think it should be illegal.

The CI is a surgery option, not a communication option. If you want to find a cheaper way, just let the children to go to deaf school and stay there, let that children be happy what he/she is. You absolute don't have to learn sign, you can just write to your children! Simple. Or maybe you can make a home sign language. That is the cheapest way instead trying to rip government off, or wasting lot of money on the CI.

Also the CI do not help me to learn how to talk. It only help me to understand the sounds, but for my talking, no, not really. I only can talk very slowly, at very simple words.

If my children are hearing, I am deaf, would I force my children to sign? Of course not. It is UP to the children. If my hearing children don't want to learn the sign, fine with me, we can write.

It always hurt my feelings when parents say "It's not your business, that is my decision for our children". I feel like what about the children? Is that what children want? Will that children be happy with the parent's decision?

I believe those parents who decide that way absolute don't care about the children, but only the best for them.

Sorry for the angry response, but I just don't like the view of parent's decision.

Dont apologize..u have every right to feel angry and express your feelings.
 
You say she is happy and well-adjusted now so apparently everything went well, right? She is very lucky then.

Am I taking this wrong but you seem surprised that an oral deaf child is happy and well adjusted? Does that bother you? Or would you prefer that they all have miserable childhoods?

Fact is, she is not unique and I personally know many others like her.
 
Am I taking this wrong but you seem surprised that an oral deaf child is happy and well adjusted? Does that bother you? Or would you prefer that they all have miserable childhoods?

Fact is, she is not unique and I personally know many others like her.

Nope not surprised and nope it doesnt bother me. Only thing that bothers me is that there was no acknowledgment of those who are suffering due to being forced to be "hearing".

I dont have passion for happy well-adjusted oral deaf people. Only for the many deaf children who are suffering emotionally and academically due to this belief.
 
Am I taking this wrong but you seem surprised that an oral deaf child is happy and well adjusted? Does that bother you? Or would you prefer that they all have miserable childhoods?

Fact is, she is not unique and I personally know many others like her.

What if that child is sad because he/she never know what it's like to raise as his/her nature born deaf life?
 
What if that child is sad because he/she never know what it's like to raise as his/her nature born deaf life?

We would never know so we can only take Rick's word for it. If his daughter is happy, then yay!!!! I just want some understanding of those who werent just as lucky but as long it is not their child, guess it doesnt matter.
 
We would never know so we can only take Rick's word for it. If his daughter is happy, then yay!!!! I just want some understanding of those who werent just as lucky but as long it is not their child, guess it doesnt matter.

Yeah I get your point.
 
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