Would you date a hearie

AlleyCat said:
Well, your concern's realistic. If I'm already thinking things a little negatively, I only wonder what's down the road. If a person is truly happy in their relationship that they think of nothing else, and someone else is busy thinking of how things aren't as wonderful as they could be, that's a problem waiting to happen. I'm just trying to take things 1 day at a time. As I said in my earlier post, we've been together 4 years. I'm in no rush to get married just yet. I'm in no rush to buy a house with him just yet. I guess I need to feel totally convinced for myself that I'm where I want to be.
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Nothing is ever perfect... Even in an "ideal" relationship, you will have your ups and downs, and won't always be happy - it's how you get AROUND those challenges that's important. The example with the boyfriend who is trying to embrace the deaf culture and learn is a great example of making things work and adapting. If it is truly meant to be, you will find a way to work around the issues.

Sure there are always issues of one party giving something up for the other, but it is the willingness to do so that is important... A good example was the radio and music... I certainly like to have music playing on a long trip. And no, if I was dating a 'deafie' they wouldn't be able to share in that I guess, but that doesn't mean I am going to dwell on it, or feel like I'm losing an experience I could share with them or whatnot... I mean sure, it is nice to "jam out" with someone to a song, but that just means I have to find something else we can share and enjoy.

I personally think that for a deaf/hearing relationship to work, it is a true testament to the relationship and the feelings between the two people. Most hearing people know very little about deaf culture, and it is sometimes very hard for Deaf people to communicate with the hearing... To be able to work around that and make a strong relationship, it takes a lot of effort on both sides, but at the same time it shows just how much those 2 people care - they are both willing to go outside of what is "easy" for them communication-wise for the sake of the other person.

I would certainly date someone who is Deaf, and would give my all to try to communicate well, learn about the other person and their culture, and work to make things better for both of us. I think if any of you met the "right person", whether they are hearing or not, you would find a way to make it work. Why? Because you like/love/care for them enough to do anything for them.

I read this thread and a couple more on Deaf/hearing relationships, and this is I guess my opinion/thoughts on the matter...
 
FFHavoK said:
Nothing is ever perfect... Even in an "ideal" relationship, you will have your ups and downs, and won't always be happy - it's how you get AROUND those challenges that's important. The example with the boyfriend who is trying to embrace the deaf culture and learn is a great example of making things work and adapting. If it is truly meant to be, you will find a way to work around the issues.

Sure there are always issues of one party giving something up for the other, but it is the willingness to do so that is important... A good example was the radio and music... I certainly like to have music playing on a long trip. And no, if I was dating a 'deafie' they wouldn't be able to share in that I guess, but that doesn't mean I am going to dwell on it, or feel like I'm losing an experience I could share with them or whatnot... I mean sure, it is nice to "jam out" with someone to a song, but that just means I have to find something else we can share and enjoy.

I personally think that for a deaf/hearing relationship to work, it is a true testament to the relationship and the feelings between the two people. Most hearing people know very little about deaf culture, and it is sometimes very hard for Deaf people to communicate with the hearing... To be able to work around that and make a strong relationship, it takes a lot of effort on both sides, but at the same time it shows just how much those 2 people care - they are both willing to go outside of what is "easy" for them communication-wise for the sake of the other person.

I would certainly date someone who is Deaf, and would give my all to try to communicate well, learn about the other person and their culture, and work to make things better for both of us. I think if any of you met the "right person", whether they are hearing or not, you would find a way to make it work. Why? Because you like/love/care for them enough to do anything for them.

Read this thread and a couple more on Deaf/hearing relationships, and this is I guess my opinion/thoughts on the matter...
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And here is exactly what I am saying we share the same mind set on this topic
 
I'm curious... How many people seen the movie called "Erin Brockovich"?
 
SneakerNet said:
oooh.... Low + High don't mix well.. it's a grinding gears..it's like not pressing the clutch peddle and while trying shifting the gears, $1000.00 bye bye.
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*wince*
 
FFHavoK said:
Nothing is ever perfect... Even in an "ideal" relationship, you will have your ups and downs, and won't always be happy - it's how you get AROUND those challenges that's important. The example with the boyfriend who is trying to embrace the deaf culture and learn is a great example of making things work and adapting. If it is truly meant to be, you will find a way to work around the issues.

Sure there are always issues of one party giving something up for the other, but it is the willingness to do so that is important... A good example was the radio and music... I certainly like to have music playing on a long trip. And no, if I was dating a 'deafie' they wouldn't be able to share in that I guess, but that doesn't mean I am going to dwell on it, or feel like I'm losing an experience I could share with them or whatnot... I mean sure, it is nice to "jam out" with someone to a song, but that just means I have to find something else we can share and enjoy.

I personally think that for a deaf/hearing relationship to work, it is a true testament to the relationship and the feelings between the two people. Most hearing people know very little about deaf culture, and it is sometimes very hard for Deaf people to communicate with the hearing... To be able to work around that and make a strong relationship, it takes a lot of effort on both sides, but at the same time it shows just how much those 2 people care - they are both willing to go outside of what is "easy" for them communication-wise for the sake of the other person.

I would certainly date someone who is Deaf, and would give my all to try to communicate well, learn about the other person and their culture, and work to make things better for both of us. I think if any of you met the "right person", whether they are hearing or not, you would find a way to make it work. Why? Because you like/love/care for them enough to do anything for them.

I read this thread and a couple more on Deaf/hearing relationships, and this is I guess my opinion/thoughts on the matter...
Click to expand...

Right, I concur. It's the same thing when my son talked about music, and one day we was having issue between us, I couldn't remember what it was but he brought it up this message: "Dad, you know music is my life, I wish you could hear the music to understand more", and I told him, "Picture is my life and I wish you could do more photography".
 
So many stories and heart felt responses thanks for sharing everyone
 
SneakerNet said:
Right, I concur. It's the same thing when my son talked about music, and one day we was having issue between us, I couldn't remember what it was but he brought it up this message: "Dad, you know music is my life, I wish you could hear the music to understand more", and I told him, "Picture is my life and I wish you could do more photography".
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with coexistence - father and son can combine both masterpieces :)
 
AlleyCat said:
Well, your concern's realistic. If I'm already thinking things a little negatively, I only wonder what's down the road. If a person is truly happy in their relationship that they think of nothing else, and someone else is busy thinking of how things aren't as wonderful as they could be, that's a problem waiting to happen. I'm just trying to take things 1 day at a time. As I said in my earlier post, we've been together 4 years. I'm in no rush to get married just yet. I'm in no rush to buy a house with him just yet. I guess I need to feel totally convinced for myself that I'm where I want to be.
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yep. no biggie! :thumb:

I think there are 2 types of couples. The ones who only need each other and nothing else... that's a simpler case. Romeo & Juliet thing (despite of tragic ending).

A little more complex case - for me... it should work well for each other and also with other people because I'm a very social person... not a wandering nomad. For example.... Michelle Obama. She's that kind of woman who brings a refreshing pace to group and can also carry her own weight throughout the night without depending on me to make her feel fit in or whatever.

I definitely do not like having to constantly look behind my back to check on her to make sure she's ok... having fun.... whatever. Seeing her just sitting there, looking around at nothing or txting all the time... well obviously she's not enjoying it and she's just waiting for me to "take a hint" to leave the party early. It's exhausting and a major killjoy.
 
I was married to a hearing and he made my life hell. He would yell and scream at me if I didn't know what he said, If I didn't know someone was at the door, I could not watch TV with CC. There were so many things that went on. So I promised myself that I would never get into a relationship with a hearing again,but I also know that all hearing men are not the same.
 
Pepsi, that is very very unfortunate, and I am sorry to hear this... I hope that experience hasn't hurt your image of all hearing people. That kind of thing just frustrates me to hear.
 
Jiro said:
with coexistence - father and son can combine both masterpieces :)
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Well, you know, my son was involved in band and he play guitars. It's an eye popping the way he play it. He was on a tour all over the US. He suddenly stopped.. and decided to major photo journalism.
 
Wirelessly posted

Pepsi said:
I was married to a hearing and he made my life hell. He would yell and scream at me if I didn't know what he said, If I didn't know someone was at the door, I could not watch TV with CC. There were so many things that went on. So I promised myself that I would never get into a relationship with a hearing again,but I also know that all hearing men are not the same.
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That guy sounds like a beast, glad you are safe and sound from him. I hope you are doing much better. I like CC at night , reduce sound after a hard days work lol I am a weirdo haha
 
Pepsi said:
I was married to a hearing and he made my life hell. He would yell and scream at me if I didn't know what he said, If I didn't know someone was at the door, I could not watch TV with CC. There were so many things that went on. So I promised myself that I would never get into a relationship with a hearing again,but I also know that all hearing men are not the same.
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:roll: @ those who mistreat people
 
Pepsi said:
I was married to a hearing and he made my life hell. He would yell and scream at me if I didn't know what he said, If I didn't know someone was at the door, I could not watch TV with CC. There were so many things that went on. So I promised myself that I would never get into a relationship with a hearing again,but I also know that all hearing men are not the same.
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He have no patience, two...he's a nimwit careless guy. Everyone make mistake.
 
Hearie....deafie.....blindie.....doesn't matter to me as long as there is some way to communicate. I am going out with a girl in a wheelchair Wednesday night. Seriously. Sweet girl too.
 
SeaJenSurf said:
The so-called shortage of finding Deaf girlfriends/boyfriends is from how small the Deaf community is. Almost everyone knows everyone else. Then there are the "dating rules". If my best friend dated this guy, am I "allowed" to date that same guy after they break up? So that makes the Deaf dating pool even smaller.

I have dated hearing guys. But, I ended up marrying a Deaf man. The hearing guys I dated were nice and willing to learn ASL. But there were still major communication barriers as they were slow to learn ASL and I felt like I was signing to a kid in Kindergarten.

There's also a bit of awkwardness of going to an all hearing event where no one else signs. Do you rely on your boyfriend/girlfriend to play interpreter? Is doing so fair? Do you really want to be dependent upon someone else to communicate? Or do you pass around pen and paper all night. And by the way, paper/pen conversations work well for one on one conversations. But, it doesn't hold up well for when a group is conversing.

A similar thing happens when a hearing person (without ASL fluency) attends an all Deaf event. The Deaf person has to interpret conversational ASL to ASL level 1.

I think it would be easier for a deaf/hearing relationship to succeed as long as both people are fluent in ASL.[/QUOTE]

I totally agree! My current hubby is hearing and fluent in ASL.

My ex hubby who was hearing didnt know a handful of signs.!
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Every guy I dated was a hearie. One guy lost interest in me when he found out I was HOH. He tried to come on to me at a party but I had no idea as I could not hear him!!
 
To me, the main thing is that the person knows sign language. Earlier this year, I was against ever dating a hearing person again. Then, after dating a deaf person for a few months, I realized it's really the individual that matters. The tools for communication must be in place, but it really comes down to the two people and what they want and what they are willing to put into a relationship. It doesn't matter if you're deaf or not. I'd date a hearing person again, but now I know under what conditions it would have to be.
 
TheWriteAlex said:
To me, the main thing is that the person knows sign language. Earlier this year, I was against ever dating a hearing person again. Then, after dating a deaf person for a few months, I realized it's really the individual that matters. The tools for communication must be in place, but it really comes down to the two people and what they want and what they are willing to put into a relationship. It doesn't matter if you're deaf or not. I'd date a hearing person again, but now I know under what conditions it would have to be.
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Like my deaf brother and his hearing girlfriend.
 
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