Would you date a hearie

ember said:
I noticed your place is Lakewood Co I used to live downtown Denver and I miss it there more than anything
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Really I try to avoid downtown lately I'm more of a mountain girl but still require what the city has to offer im on the border of golden and lakewood and a 5 min drive to the middle of nowhere
 
posts from hell said:
*gasp* no mention of Boulder? tsk... You're one of THEM!
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You live in Boulder!!! I LOVE BOULDER and after I graduate I plan to move there if possible but you know I am a hearie so you won't talk to me right :roll:

OH and you have to tell why won't you date a hearie
 
matajan said:
Haha...how will I get money for dating site?
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Find this I shall help create website:

FLOR DE LA MAR - Wrecked in 1511, the Portuguese had a field day when they overran the ancient kingdom of Malacca in present-day Malaysia after its sultan declined a request for permission to trade there. Admiral Alfonso d'Albuquerque's men spent three days sacking the city and relieving it of 60 tons of gold booty plus the sultan's throne - not to mention his ingots and coinage - and more than 200 chests of diamonds, emeralds, rubies, and sapphires. The admiral called it "the richest treasure on earth that I have ever seen," and loaded it aboard the Flor de la Mar. The Portuguese didn't get far with it, though; she went down in a storm off the northern coast of Sumatra along with riches estimated to be worth $1.7 to $3 billion.
 
blank canvas said:
Really I try to avoid downtown lately I'm more of a mountain girl but still require what the city has to offer im on the border of golden and lakewood and a 5 min drive to the middle of nowhere
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I would not live downtown again, I want to live in Boulder or ya know I liked castle hills as well I just miss Denver period there is nothing to do in texas no mountains for hiking or rivers to adventure boring way cheaper to live but boring
 
SneakerNet said:
snipped for longevity reason
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ember said:
I read here what she has to give up over and over and over again or sacrifice but relationships are a two way street .... what about you
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I do not believe in sacrifice to a certain degree for the sake of relationship. How can you live your life with a person for 30+ years while sacrificing something you love? It will never work. Never have, never will. It's a guarantee.

Coexistence and Utmost Trust are the key to relationship along with communication.

If she doesn't like the fact that I ride motorcycle or I shoot for competition & protection... AU REVOIR! :bye: Really... It's that simple for me. Really simple. It's not the end of world. I can simply find another compatible gal. the best type of relationship is knowing each other like a book :)
 
Jiro said:
I do not believe in sacrifice to a certain degree for the sake of relationship. How can you live your life with a person for 30+ years while sacrificing something you love? It will never work. Never have, never will. It's a guarantee.

Coexistence and Utmost Trust are the key to relationship along with communication.

If she doesn't like the fact that I ride motorcycle or I shoot for competition & protection... AU REVOIR! :bye: Really... It's that simple for me. Really simple. It's not the end of world. I can simply find another compatible gal.
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:gpost:
Agreed!!!
 
ember said:
I would not live downtown again, I want to live in Boulder or ya know I liked castle hills as well I just miss Denver period there is nothing to do in texas no mountains for hiking or rivers to adventure boring way cheaper to live but boring
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Ya its fun for a weekend but as far as I'm concerned Colorado has everything I need! I can live with only seeing the ocean once or twice a year but I need my mountains and ADHD weather :D
 
Jiro said:
I do not believe in sacrifice to a certain degree for the sake of relationship. How can you live your life with a person for 30+ years while sacrificing something you love? It will never work. Never have, never will. It's a guarantee.

Coexistence and Utmost Trust are the key to relationship along with communication.

If she doesn't like the fact that I ride motorcycle or I shoot for competition & protection... AU REVOIR! :bye: Really... It's that simple for me. Really simple. It's not the end of world. I can simply find another compatible gal. the best type of relationship is knowing each other like a book :)
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Now that I can agree with, but thats not what he said he didn't mention a coexistence he said she had to give up everything. So when they were in the car instead of going back to silence why not get a pen or hell they were in open road if you aren't around cars text the conversation or at least bring it back up later, and why did she have to turn the radio off.

Coexistence abso freakin lutely!!!
 
blank canvas said:
Ya its fun for a weekend but as far as I'm concerned Colorado has everything I need! I can live with only seeing the ocean once or twice a year but I need my mountains and ADHD weather :D
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mountain hell f'ing yea! I'm a mountain man too. so is my dad. hell - Korea is a mountain country anyway :lol:
 
ember said:
You live in Boulder!!! I LOVE BOULDER and after I graduate I plan to move there if possible but you know I am a hearie so you won't talk to me right :roll:

OH and you have to tell why won't you date a hearie
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Yep, raised in boulder ;) Love it here a lot.

I wouldnt date a hearie because I don't feel many have the cultural understanding I have for the Deaf community. I would hate to go to several things such as a hearie party, hearie gathering, etc... I've had issues with hearing family in the past and don't want to go thru that again.

I'll throw in a story. Thanks giving day... One of my ex's parents are divorced, hearing, and lives 80 miles apart. Three thanksgivings in the same day... My family is together, and lived only 15 miles from where I lived at the time. I chose to go to my family's for the day - reasons: I could cook with them, my parents, brother, brother's gf, brother's kid, two of my deaf friends that joined - ALL signed.

The hearie's family bitched for a month that I never showed up to their thanksgiving. Don't want to hear that crap again. I couldn't explain myself to the full extent of my feelings to them. They simply didnt understand.

I wouldnt mind visiting them, but allow me to be able to communicate.

BUT... for you being a hearie - no problem. I'll talk with you - totally no issues with that. Matter of a fact, I host a night out that is aimed to teaching the community sign language - all sorts of people have came, parents of deaf children, late deafened, doctors, celebrities, ASL students, hearie people that just want to ASL, etc.. Its awesome
 
ember said:
Now that I can agree with, but thats not what he said he didn't mention a coexistence he said she had to give up everything. So when they were in the car instead of going back to silence why not get a pen or hell they were in open road if you aren't around cars text the conversation or at least bring it back up later, and why did she have to turn the radio off.

Coexistence abso freakin lutely!!!
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that's the point of coexistence. Everybody is different. You'd want to be in relationship with somebody who can deal with your difference and vice versa without sacrificing much.

All I can say is... if you can deal with your mate's difference for 20+ years... :thumb:
 
"So, if she truly love me and willing to learn to change, it’s going to be hard. There are many more to it, in term of “emotional sacrifice”. Come think of it, cuddling up together in bed, in the dark, and have sweet romantic whisper next to each other ears for hour. Well, this not going to happen. She have to learn to sacrifice this and turn on the blaring bright lights to sign. It’s a big change."

Why not be creative hell get some candles and rose petals take a bath with candle light, lights blaring nah that could have been handled in a romantic and tender way if both parties were willing. And a whisper is in a look, a touch, so many things besides a voice
 
posts from hell said:
Yep, raised in boulder ;) Love it here a lot.

I wouldnt date a hearie because I don't feel many have the cultural understanding I have for the Deaf community. I would hate to go to several things such as a hearie party, hearie gathering, etc... I've had issues with hearing family in the past and don't want to go thru that again.

I'll throw in a story. Thanks giving day... One of my ex's parents are divorced, hearing, and lives 80 miles apart. Three thanksgivings in the same day... My family is together, and lived only 15 miles from where I lived at the time. I chose to go to my family's for the day - reasons: I could cook with them, my parents, brother, brother's gf, brother's kid, two of my deaf friends that joined - ALL signed.

The hearie's family bitched for a month that I never showed up to their thanksgiving. Don't want to hear that crap again. I couldn't explain myself to the full extent of my feelings to them. They simply didnt understand.

I wouldnt mind visiting them, but allow me to be able to communicate.

BUT... for you being a hearie - no problem. I'll talk with you - totally no issues with that. Matter of a fact, I host a night out that is aimed to teaching the community sign language - all sorts of people have came, parents of deaf children, late deafened, doctors, celebrities, ASL students, hearie people that just want to ASL, etc.. Its awesome
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I don't know the whole story but that sounds to me like that could have been handled better with communication and understanding and a little bit of sacrifice and compromise but I wasn't there so thats just my opinion
 
Jiro said:
that's the point of coexistence. Everybody is different. You'd want to be in relationship with somebody who can deal with your difference and vice versa without sacrificing much.

All I can say is... if you can deal with your mate's difference for 20+ years... :thumb:
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Very good point, and it's one I think about often. While things may be going great now (4 years), will it always be the same? Will he always try to help me in social situations? Will it get old and tiresome for him (and even I?) It's a concern I have.
 
posts from hell said:
And you're a paved road warrior with that X.... :roll: in NJ no less.
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I know, right? it's so criminal. I've been casually looking around for job opening at somewhere more suitable for my X
 
Jiro said:
I know, right? it's so criminal. I've been casually looking around for job opening at somewhere more suitable for my X
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IT guy needs special workplace where XTerra fits in???
 
ember said:
would anyone care to share with me any of the challenges that come along with dating a hearie?
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Communication is the biggest challenge. Deafies and hearies think differently. We process information differently. It would be like an English person dating someone who speaks a foreign language. You can do it but it's difficult.

I need the lights on, or a candle, in the bedroom so that I can lip read. Some hearies aren't comfortable with that.

I read body language, to assist in my communication, and some hearies don't like knowing how transparent they are. They don't like being anticipated all the time. In my experience, deafies just accept transparency.

I'm dating a hearie and he is, by far, one of the best men that I've ever known. He is starting ASL lessons in a couple of weeks.
 
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