acousticpathway
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people assuming that i can totally understand them without lipreading when they find out i have HA's
What Ticks You Off (Most) About Hearies?
- Thread starter AquaBlue
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They are the ones who need to get a shirt that says "I am with stupid" with an arrow pointing up.
'
Stupid people!
AuslanGirl
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Hi I'm a newbie...but I was reading through this topic, and though I'd add one of my own...
I HATE it when well-meaning people at my church tell me I should "believe for my healing so that I can live my life to the fullest" and that "I must have sinned or my parents' must have sinned and that's why I'm deaf!"
AND, I HATE it when I'm talking to someone, miss what they say, ask if they'd repeat themselves bse I'm deaf and I need to lipread them, and they are like "oh...I'm sorry"...or they see me having a converstion in Auslan with the other deaf at church, and then the next time they see me, they won't talk to me and I find out it's because they "don't know how to talk to me because I'm deaf".
I also HATE it when I'm with a deaf friend, and their hearing family talks about them to me and my husband as thought their relative isn't even in the room. I usually interpret what's being said, and the hearing person will tell me I shouldn't be interopreting for them, bse they are not talking to them, only about them, and I aways say "didn't you know it's RUDE to talk about other people behind their backs???" LOL! THAT shuts them up!
AuslanGirl
I HATE it when well-meaning people at my church tell me I should "believe for my healing so that I can live my life to the fullest" and that "I must have sinned or my parents' must have sinned and that's why I'm deaf!"
AND, I HATE it when I'm talking to someone, miss what they say, ask if they'd repeat themselves bse I'm deaf and I need to lipread them, and they are like "oh...I'm sorry"...or they see me having a converstion in Auslan with the other deaf at church, and then the next time they see me, they won't talk to me and I find out it's because they "don't know how to talk to me because I'm deaf".
I also HATE it when I'm with a deaf friend, and their hearing family talks about them to me and my husband as thought their relative isn't even in the room. I usually interpret what's being said, and the hearing person will tell me I shouldn't be interopreting for them, bse they are not talking to them, only about them, and I aways say "didn't you know it's RUDE to talk about other people behind their backs???" LOL! THAT shuts them up!
AuslanGirl
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Wow...your experiences are mirroring mine!!!!
dorothybaez
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In high school, my Spanish teacher told the class to NOT start on the homework in class. I thought she said TO start the homework. She got mad and commenced to yelling...really tore me up one side and down the other. I was mortified.
I never did become any good at Spanish in her class....it wasn't until I married a man whose first language was Spanish that I really learned any. Now I can lipread in English and Spanish!
When my children were little, I decided to go back to college. I figured Spanish might be an easy "A" - until I saw that the evil screaming woman from high school had moved up to teaching at the college level. I took French instead.
That bothers me as well but I've found that if I make a bit of a joke about it they remember to not do that when I'm around. It isn't as though they're used to it (I'm referring to co-workers). Most hearies are used to being around hearies.
When my boss covers his mouth I immediately cover mine and mumble, "I can't understand you when you talk like that." Then I laugh. He's *so* trained now that I only need to cover my mouth and raise my eyebrows and he stops.
Just as we have mannerisms so, too, do the hearies.
Still, it bothers me when they cover their mouth.:P
"Why are you teaching your hearing son sign language, he's not deaf" (my ex mother in law said that to me.)
Oh, right, like why would you want to be able to communicate with your son? How ignorant. I've met so, so many people like that.
My eldest daughter has already started teaching her little girls ASL so that we can talk in sign.
While I have a rather unique accent most people don't know that I'm legally Deaf. Only people that I care to know, know. And family, of course. I'm very successful and well educated. Well respected amongst my professional peers.
Many times people will ask me where my accent is from. Almost always they think I'm British. When I tell them that I'm Deaf and that I taught myself how to talk the usual is, "Wow, but you've done so well for yourself." As though Deaf people can't be successful or have the desire to communicate with others so bad that they'll stand in front of a mirror for hours and hours, every day, annunciating.
*THIS* drives me up the wall more than anything.
My mother left me at the hospital when she found out I was born Deaf. My auntie and uncle took me home and raised me for my first year.
Very hard but if you want to communicate, and your parents won't let you learn to communicate any other way, you learn pretty fast.
My pet peeves:
- people who cover their mouth while they are talking
- guys who think that because I am looking at their lips that I want them to kiss me
- moustaches (long ones)
- people who mumble and don't annunciate properly
- people that act shocked and amazed that I can actually type in articulate sentences
- people that talk behind their hand because they know I can read lips
- people that act shocked and amazed that I can actually talk like a *normal* person (with an accent)
- people that treat me different when they find out I'm Deaf; like I'm somehow now broken
You don't need to hear it. If you're paying attention, like drivers should be, you can see the lights.
I don't mean to laugh but this is *SO* true it's funny! How can there be so many intelligent people on this planet that have no clue as to the difference between hearing loss and poor eyesight.One of the things that annoys me about hearies is that when someone finds out I'm deaf, they get all excited and say something to the effect...
"Hey! You're deaf?? That's kinda cool, man! Ya know, I'm kinda deaf in my right ear....blah, blah, blah!"
I swear, some hearie people are out to annoy you on purpose!
That's *so* true! Yeah, buddy, just because you have a little wax build up in your ear doesn't make you a deafie!
When my hearing audiologist of 13 years talks to me while he has my HAs in his hands during my annual appointments.. My lip/speech reading skills are very limited without my HAs, so I had no clue what he was saying.
My teacher called me stupid when I didn't hear part of her instruction. Ironically, on the walls of the classroom, there was a poster stuck on it saying something along the lines of 'Don't call people names, it is hurtful.'
Even though I'm academically average, I was/am considered 'Special needs' and given an IEP (Individual Educational Plan). The IEP is riddled with mistakes. They say that my right ear is worse, when my left ear is actually the one which is worse. They can't read audiograms. The IEP says that captioning should be provided if possible, and if not then transcript should be given. Never in my school life has captioning been available or transcript been provided. Just couple of many mistakes.. They always seem to think they are doing what is best for me.
Unfortunately, my family (all hearing) thinks that the only reason why I turn captioning on is because I'm used to it. They think that I can watch TV or movies without captioning - I just have to lipread whatever the person's saying on-screen. They really don't understand.
Also there is the never-ending issue of people very slowly and over enunciating their words. It's like - I'm deaf, you know, not an idiot. Just speak clearly.
It's pretty hard to lip read the back of a head.
It's a beautiful dance of the hands. I'm fortunate in that my hearie boyfriend is eager to learn everything to do with sign. He was *so* cute when he showed me the alphabet the first time. I had no idea he was even learning it.
My mother left me at the hospital when she found out I was born Deaf. My auntie and uncle took me home and raised me for my first year.
Ouch! Your parents took you back after your first year???
Yes, my mother did and never let me forget how much of an inconvenience it was. My dad didn't know as he hadn't been in the picture too much up to that time. He had Peter Pan syndrome.
My mother left me at the hospital when she found out I was born Deaf. My auntie and uncle took me home and raised me for my first year.
Wow. How sad.
As a hearing person, I think that sadness as the first reaction of a parent hearing that their child is deaf is very normal. Of course a parent wants a child whose entire system is "running properly" according to all the guidebooks on the human body. You want your kids to be normal, to not have it any harder than anyone else, to not have to struggle in a world that is not adapted to their needs. So, you grieve for your baby because they will be different, even if it is in a small way, they WILL be different, and that means obstacles and unfair treatment from other people. But then, you say OK, what do we do now to help him or her to function in the mostly hearing world? Learn to sign, hearing aids, whatever. You accept your child's uniqueness and you realize that it is only a disability to those who don't know how to handle a "difference" in another person. I have a friend whose child is gay. That does not bother her, what kills her is the way he is treated by the rest of the world. And really, even babies born "normal" don't stay that way..they could lose their hearing later, or sometime down the road they may have something happen that is REALLY worth grieving over, like get cancer, or become drug addicts...we never know what is in store for our children.
The first reaction when told your child is deaf? I can see why parents take it hard, and some way more than others, obviously, like this mother who left her baby at the hospital.