Why is it that relationships with age gaps seem to spark such fear in people?

I once dated a man who was 11 years younger than I. We were together about a year, and I broke it off, because of his immaturity. Drove me nuts at times! He was a good guy, and liked older women.

I'd always dated men who were anywhere 3-6 years younger than myself. Never went out with anyone that was older than I.

Women usually age faster than men do. And I could not see myself being with a man who looked like my son! It was OK when I was younger, but as I became older, no thanks.

I've no qualms about other people dating/marrying older or younger people. Sometimes it works, some times not. Age is just a number, many things have to be taken into consideration before the relationship can work.
 
Grummer said:
LOL at novemeber gypsy and Shel90, yah, geees me even I am guilty of 'what's shes older than you too ? two years! but you know what i found myself sometimes wondering if they were 'secretly admiring each other in the same school but 2 years apart or it could be anything but yeah its fascinatiing that even the 2 years is so minor but i think it has alot to do with how we are 'taught' by society of the norms and it just hangs around in the registry of our brain so when something even so slightly 'not normal' - we'd automatically find its ab-normal, so its just get judged as abnormal, and all the other shit like 'weird couple', 'lucky lady having a younger dude',or 'are they a little kinky?' or what ever the heck....
it seems to take a very mature person to actually not respond to norms and engage a kind of judgemental reaction but it just so difficult to do to un-wire the one 'mode' of opinion that 'regulate' our thinking..... wow
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I just don't get it. I mean, what's the difference if it's two years either way? I mean, we would think nothing of a 35 year old man was married to a 33-year-old woman, now, would we? So what's the problem with a 35-year-old woman married to a 33-year-old man. Just so we are clear, Grummer, I am actually 16 years younger then my husband. I just condoling with Shel. My age gap is obviously quite larger then hers, but, either way, I just don't think it's anyone's business as long as the couple are of legal age and there is no sign of abuse going on. Just my opinion.
 
I dont think it should matter about the age as long your both happy, you shouldnt be bothered about what other people think. It's your life they cannot tell you what to do!
 
*Smiles* This is true. It was just some curiousity on my part and a desire to vent about the world's over-opinated behaviors.
 
Yeah there is so much over opinionated behaviours because some people poke their noses in peoples business
 
Sometimes my hubby would joke around, when he calls me his ol' lady! He would joke and say that I am literally his old lady! I would just give him a dirty look. Then he would tell me how much he loves me. I would still pout! Then he would baby me some more. :giggle:
 
Babyblue said:
Sometimes my hubby would joke around, when he calls me his ol' lady! He would joke and say that I am literally his old lady! I would just give him a dirty look. Then he would tell me how much he loves me. I would still pout! Then he would baby me some more. :giggle:
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Awww..that's cute!
 
*Laughs* That's sweet Baby Blue! I wish my husband was a little more playful like that, but other then that he's almost perfect.
 
My current flame and I are 22 years apart. She's 26 and I'm 47 (soon to be 48 :roll: ). Admittedly I was a wee bit off about the age gap but realized that since I'm not finding any women my age who would accept my flirtations and courting I'd have to go with whomever I could find and it turned out to be this wonderful young lady.
She was more concerned at first but my constant "age doesn't matter" spiel to her convinced her that it wouldn't be a problem.
Her PARENTS however (only 10 or 11 years older than me) were at first way put off by it. But later she received a surprise e-mail from her mum that basically said "go for it and our prayers for your happiness" realizing that I'm mature, responsible and truly care about her in all aspects of her life.
We're in a LDR right now but weathering it best as we can, knowing that we'll get together without too large of a time span in between each visit.
Marriage has been a frequent topic of discussion between us and more-n-likely to be a reality.
Everyone else that we know hasn't expressed any surprise or problems with our age gap... so far. But as it stands now we wouldn't care because we're in love and we're happy.
:ty: daystarnite for being in my life
 
DeafCaver said:
My current flame and I are 22 years apart. She's 26 and I'm 47 (soon to be 48 :roll: ). Admittedly I was a wee bit off about the age gap but realized that since I'm not finding any women my age who would accept my flirtations and courting I'd have to go with whomever I could find and it turned out to be this wonderful young lady.
She was more concerned at first but my constant "age doesn't matter" spiel to her convinced her that it wouldn't be a problem.
Her PARENTS however (only 10 or 11 years older than me) were at first way put off by it. But later she received a surprise e-mail from her mum that basically said "go for it and our prayers for your happiness" realizing that I'm mature, responsible and truly care about her in all aspects of her life.
We're in a LDR right now but weathering it best as we can, knowing that we'll get together without too large of a time span in between each visit.
Marriage has been a frequent topic of discussion between us and more-n-likely to be a reality.
Everyone else that we know hasn't expressed any surprise or problems with our age gap... so far. But as it stands now we wouldn't care because we're in love and we're happy.
:ty: daystarnite for being in my life
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I read your post above. Okay, I have some questions I would like to ask you, if you don't mind. :)

My questions are: How about the opposite one ? How would it affect to some people ? I mean, if you are a woman at the age of 47, goin' to be 48 soon and your man is 22. Will it affect your perspective and opinions ? Or doesn't it really matter ? Just curious. I would like to know from other ADers for their opinions as well.
 
S.O.B. said:
I am involved with a woman 9 years older than I, and she is every bit young at heart and looks closer to my age. We are compatible and happy with our life, I wouldn't consider trying to seek another woman only to have a closer age range. Why should I? People have done it the "acceptable" way for years, and yet these relationships end up in a 50% chance for divorce. So if it works and both involved are happy, then pursue the relationship for yourselves, not what others think should be "righteous".
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When my uncle started dating my aunt who was five years older (he was 20 and she was 25) people flipped out. Which is kind of weird because she looked 15-18 and he looked 25 :) They're still together and happy 25 years later. And she still looks younger. From my experience, I get more harassment for going on dates with younger men than for going on dates with older men. It seems fine for girls to date older guys, but not the other way around.
 
Maria said:
I read your post above. Okay, I have some questions I would like to ask you, if you don't mind. :)

My questions are: How about the opposite one ? How would it affect to some people ? I mean, if you are a woman at the age of 47, goin' to be 48 soon and your man is 22. Will it affect your perspective and opinions ? Or doesn't it really matter ? Just curious. I would like to know from other ADers for their opinions as well.
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And better yet, would he date a woman 22 years older than he is - a woman 70 years old?
 
DeafCaver said:
My current flame and I are 22 years apart. She's 26 and I'm 47 (soon to be 48 :roll: ).
We're in a LDR right now but weathering it best as we can, knowing that we'll get together without too large of a time span in between each visit.
Marriage has been a frequent topic of discussion between us and more-n-likely to be a reality.
Everyone else that we know hasn't expressed any surprise or problems with our age gap... so far. But as it stands now we wouldn't care because we're in love and we're happy.
:ty: daystarnite for being in my life
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:ily: You're welcome DeafCaver :kiss:

True, I was about nervous about his age at first, but there are many times I simply needed him because he provide great support, emotionally and more, during my trouble times. He proved himself to be a great man. And for many good reasons I came to love him dearly. I was shocked when I received an approval about us from my parents. Completely unexpected. It is a very good news and it make things easier for us in the future.... :angel:
 
Well I am 18 and recently start to date guy who is 10 years older than me.
But he is very nice guy and I think I am more mature then my age suggests.
It is early days so I do not know how things will go. He is also hearing so we having good laugh try to communicate with each other.
 
hmm.. i'm only willing to date someone who was born in the '80s. it's a perfect age range for me.
 
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