What is a polite way to get a deaf/hoh person's attention?

jillio

New Member
Off topic: Chase, you are forgiven for your social faux pas!:giggle:
 

Holly

New Member
Anyone remember the word "polite" used in the original question?

I do:)

I have, however, tremendously enjoyed the chatting going on! If I am correct, what I should do is go out and buy a pack of depends and an airhorn. When i show up to church on sunday I will flick the lights in the auditorium (thus getting the attention of everyone in the room, including hearies) then proceed to walk up to my deaf friend, get approximately 3 inches from her face and blow the airhorn as loud as possible before slapping her across the face...the only delemma is...I have to get her attention to have her put on the depends! so I guess I will just bring baby wipes, toilet paper, and lysol, and give her the depends to wear next week...haha!

I'm just kidding about all that of course!!!! I think what i shall do is just get in her line of vision and wave a little:)
 

August

Member
I do:)

I have, however, tremendously enjoyed the chatting going on! If I am correct, what I should do is go out and buy a pack of depends and an airhorn. When i show up to church on sunday I will flick the lights in the auditorium (thus getting the attention of everyone in the room, including hearies) then proceed to walk up to my deaf friend, get approximately 3 inches from her face and blow the airhorn as loud as possible before slapping her across the face...the only delemma is...I have to get her attention to have her put on the depends! so I guess I will just bring baby wipes, toilet paper, and lysol, and give her the depends to wear next week...haha!

I'm just kidding about all that of course!!!! I think what i shall do is just get in her line of vision and wave a little:)
ahem

i believe you forgot the stun gun and the planting of plastic explosive in their vehicle. they're both "polite", in their own unique way.
 

jillio

New Member
I do:)

I have, however, tremendously enjoyed the chatting going on! If I am correct, what I should do is go out and buy a pack of depends and an airhorn. When i show up to church on sunday I will flick the lights in the auditorium (thus getting the attention of everyone in the room, including hearies) then proceed to walk up to my deaf friend, get approximately 3 inches from her face and blow the airhorn as loud as possible before slapping her across the face...the only delemma is...I have to get her attention to have her put on the depends! so I guess I will just bring baby wipes, toilet paper, and lysol, and give her the depends to wear next week...haha!

I'm just kidding about all that of course!!!! I think what i shall do is just get in her line of vision and wave a little:)

LOL!
 

Chase

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
ahem

i believe you forgot the stun gun and the planting of plastic explosive in their vehicle. they're both "polite", in their own unique way.

Hmmmmm. Isn't that a bit like saying Jack the Ripper was a social worker in his own unique way?
 

Raykat

New Member
Well, I'm the one who first used "Gus." Around here it's a friendly nickname for both "August" and "Augusta," but I apologize and will use the young person's full screen name, as it seems to have provoked the impolite rants.

I'm also guilty of leading this thread astray. Back on topic:

Recently I again experienced the way not to get a deaf person's attention.

I'm constantly looking behind me. It's a safety thing for deafies, because we can't hear catastrophe coming at us -- a vicious animal on the loose, an out-of-control car, an avalanche. I've taken Tae Kwon Do which teaches to look behind, and I help instruct a personal protection course instilling the same thing.

So the other day I looked back to see the postman whistling at me and noticed the smug look of satisfaction because I had "heard" him. I walked back to him to inform him:

a. all of the above reasons to look back.

b. at my age I find being whistled at like a dog (or shouted at like the coast guard hailing a smuggler or stamped at like an upset ewe) quite offensive.

c. he should wipe the smug look off his face for discovering "the so-called deaf guy is faking," because I can furnish his postmaster with my audiologist's lastest zero findings along with my compalint for harassment.

He did apologize, so one hearie down -- 2,999,999 to go. Tap us, wave, flick the lights, but don't be so stupid and impolite to embarrass us by trying to prove we can hear.

The only problem here, Chase, is that sometime we deafies hear things whilst at others we wont, for me it depends (that word again!) on length of sound, background noise and just plain if I am B... listening. So the chances of someone PROVING I am "hearing" is about 50/50
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
Well, I'm the one who first used "Gus." Around here it's a friendly nickname for both "August" and "Augusta," but I apologize and will use the young person's full screen name, as it seems to have provoked the impolite rants.

I'm also guilty of leading this thread astray. Back on topic:

Recently I again experienced the way not to get a deaf person's attention.

I'm constantly looking behind me. It's a safety thing for deafies, because we can't hear catastrophe coming at us -- a vicious animal on the loose, an out-of-control car, an avalanche. I've taken Tae Kwon Do which teaches to look behind, and I help instruct a personal protection course instilling the same thing.

So the other day I looked back to see the postman whistling at me and noticed the smug look of satisfaction because I had "heard" him. I walked back to him to inform him:

a. all of the above reasons to look back.

b. at my age I find being whistled at like a dog (or shouted at like the coast guard hailing a smuggler or stamped at like an upset ewe) quite offensive.

c. he should wipe the smug look off his face for discovering "the so-called deaf guy is faking," because I can furnish his postmaster with my audiologist's lastest zero findings along with my compalint for harassment.
He did apologize, so one hearie down -- 2,999,999 to go. Tap us, wave, flick the lights, but don't be so stupid and impolite to embarrass us by trying to prove we can hear.


u know, I have experienced the same..with hearing people testing me and if I respond to someone calling my name, they say that I am "faking" my deafness. I really dont understand the point of it. What's their goal? To make me look like a fool or what?
 

deafskeptic

Active Member
Premium Member
u know, I have experienced the same..with hearing people testing me and if I respond to someone calling my name, they say that I am "faking" my deafness. I really dont understand the point of it. What's their goal? To make me look like a fool or what?

I've had my own boss do that to me. I was dumbfounded.
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
(Mod's Note - Previous Quote removed)

I wish I can pretend when someone calls me but it is like I am on automatic and I turn around without thinking.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Holly

New Member
u know, I have experienced the same..with hearing people testing me and if I respond to someone calling my name, they say that I am "faking" my deafness. I really dont understand the point of it. What's their goal? To make me look like a fool or what?


Their goal is to pretend that nothing is "unusual" in this world and that we all have the exact same abilities, because they are afraid of what they do not really understand.
 

Matilda

Boxing Kangaroo "Jack"
Premium Member
u know, I have experienced the same..with hearing people testing me and if I respond to someone calling my name, they say that I am "faking" my deafness. I really dont understand the point of it. What's their goal? To make me look like a fool or what?

I find those who make us deafies look like fools, are heartless!
 

SorEncarnacion

New Member
This

There is actually a unspoken rule about flickering the lights. You only do that if you want the entire group to stop and look at you...never ever do that with one person unless that person is the only one in the room. Also, avoid tapping shoulder unless you have to because there are some deafies who don't react very well like when they are startled (ask the dude with the black eye what happened when he scared the jeepers out of me...oops). Try to draw that person's attention by coming in the room where the person can visually see you, if possible. Thumping on the floor - same rule as for the lights. You can also thump on the table. There are a lot of unspoken culture rules - it's more complicated than just waving and tapping on someone's shoulder. An example: two deafies are in a conversation. You wave. No one moved. It is not that they are ignoring you (usually)- they are enaged in a conversation, and it is considered rude to stop eye gaze...eventually when it is appropriate they will acknowedge you if you will wait. Most hearings don't stop there...they keep on waving or start to tap on the shoulder, etc.

THIS right here. The chief Deaf person in my life *REALLY* hates being touched, especially when she did not intitate it. Even tapping on something she is sitting on would be a bad idea. So I pretty much always, always, always default to handwaving or tapping a desk or table if we are sitting at one. Lights or stomping on the floor is something I'd only do during a fire drill or something.
 

Raykat

New Member
THIS right here. The chief Deaf person in my life *REALLY* hates being touched, especially when she did not intitate it. Even tapping on something she is sitting on would be a bad idea. So I pretty much always, always, always default to handwaving or tapping a desk or table if we are sitting at one. Lights or stomping on the floor is something I'd only do during a fire drill or something.

Jeez that must make life hard. I find a light tap on the arm, shoulder,, or knee (if sitting in car) is the easiest way of doing things. The light switch act does work if I am alone in a room and someone is way across at the door.

My dear departed mother had a rather offputting habit of waving her fork at me if we were at the table. Biggest prob was she also did it to my hearing sister who is 18 years younger, boy did that pee her off no end.....lol
 

Dixie

Farting Snowflakes
Premium Member
other 'polite' ways that hearies have gotten my attention:
Throw raw poultry at us, make sure the fat smacks us right on the chest. (yes this actually happened- slung a whole breast right back at this person)

Whistle at us like we're dogs. Somehow this will ellicit some sort of response, but it's a 50/50 chance that response you get is the response your'e looking for.

Fling water at us - seriously Ive had my share of 'showers' at work Ive thought about just walking to the wall and grabbing the high pressure hose and just use that to get the attention of the hearies.

Also if your standing in front of me and Im just not looking in your direction at the moment just sling your hand within a couple inches of my face (makes you feel like your about to get hit).

Ive also had people scream at me to no avail - it was quite funny though when they told me they were running after me screaming their head off and I didnt even respond.

Snapping fingers in my face has also been used especially if I am already engaged in conversation with somone else.

So altogether a light tap on the shoulder or just simply walk to me if I am not already in conversation. But if we are across the room just wave at me.
 

pek1

New Member
I was visiting a church one time, in Little Rock, Arkansas, of all places, when I was driving truck. Snickers (that's my hearing dog, Raykat) was off leash but sleeping on the floor (leash was too short). All of a sudden, a man behind me (I'm seated, as is everyone else) taps me on shoulder, chest side, with his hand, twice, and bothers me about my dog. I told him she was my hearing dog, what's it to you? (Actual words). Guy was the pastor, concerned about my dog biting kids there. I counted less than 12 people in a sanctuary that seated at least 800 and he's worried about my dog who is sleeping. I threatened to have him arrested for assault. Tap me is fine, but not from behind, as he could have gotten hurt (green belt in Karate).
 
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