Tip of the iceberg...

Did you hide your deafness, even from yourself? Here are some of the early signs I ignored or thought was my inability to pay attention properly:

- staring at people's lips when they talk
- can't follow group conversations
- can't follow fast talkers
- can't hear 'low talkers'
- go ballistic when you are told 'Never mind' (because you're the only one anybody says it to)
- you are often told "you're talking too loud!"
- you are told "how long have you had your speech impediment?"
- you are told you're not listening
- you give up trying to listen
- following conversations is exhausting
- you can't hear the lyrics on the radio
- you sleep through the thunderstorms when everybody else is up watching the cool storm
- you can't hear any conversation unless you are 'actively listening'
- passive listening does not exist for you - your undivided attention is required.
- you can't hear people when you take your glasses off
- you can't hear people unless they are facing you
- you can't hear the joke that everybody else heard

I wonder what my life would have been like if I had clued in enough to realize that I wasn't just 'slow' or 'not worth the trouble'.
 

Ri Sol

Active Member
I've been fooling myself whole my life. Because I grew up in a hearing community, and couldn't understand what is wrong with me.
I remember myself since preschool - everyone was singing, and I couldn't get the point of this activity.

I started to realize something goes wrong, when it was about time for me to go to the school. The doctor said I'm not allowed to go to the public school, because deaf children cannot learn, and they are mute. It was advised to send me to the common orphanage for children with disabilities. There weren't much opportunities, I lived in a small town, far away from big cities.
The doctor was very convincing, and she told to my mother, that she must send me there, because it will be better for all. She can give birth to another "better and healthy" girl.
Of course I could lipread it back then, I was 7 yo. Since then I've proving to myself that I can hear, that I'm like everyone else. I rejected HAs, and they didn't help me anyway.

I'm good at speechreading in my primary language, but terribly struggle when I need to speak English.
 
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sonocativo

Well-Known Member
I've been fooling myself whole my life. Because I grew up in a hearing community, and couldn't understand what is wrong with me.
I remember myself since preschool - everyone was singing, and I couldn't get the point of this activity.

I started to realize something goes wrong, when it was about time for me to go to the school. The doctor said I'm not allowed to go to the public school, because deaf children cannot learn, and they are mute. It was advised to send me to the common orphanage for children with disabilities. There weren't much opportunities, I lived in a small town, far away from big cities.
The doctors was very convincing, and she told to my mother, that she must send me there, because it will be better for all. She can give birth to another "better and healthy" girl.
Of course I could lipread it back then, I was 7 yo. Since then I've proving to myself that I can hear, that I'm like everyone else. I rejected HAs, and they didn't help me anyway.

I'm good at speechreading in my primary language, but terribly struggle when I need to speak English.
Besides english words have so many meanings and a combination of several other languages combined.
 

Ri Sol

Active Member
Besides english words have so many meanings and a combination of several other languages combined.
I have no problems with comprehending written English.
Different English words can sound similar.
Beach-Bitch, Sheet - Shit, Pear - Pair and so on, I know there differences in pronunciation, but when reading lips, they look same.
 

DeafNerdMommy

Well-Known Member
I was raised hearing and my parents always told me I was lying about my hearing. But I read lips all the time even if it is in a quiet room with one other person. A lot of people cover their mouths or check their teeth. I do hate being told nevermind because I couldn't figure out what they were saying. I wish my parents noticed my problems earlier and signed me up for the deaf school or at least got me hearing aids sooner.
 

UDtheAesir

New Member
Wow, okay, this is a good one! I've run into several problems when I find myself with other hearing people. I rely on lip-reading when it comes to listening to what they're saying and that helps to a large degree. One-on-one's excellent, but more than one? That depends on whether they're talking fast or normally, loudly or just clearly. Lighting is a HUGE factor: too dark for good lip-reading? Forget it! It's like you're forced to rely on listening alone which doesn't really help at all. Background noise sets limits on this which sucks.

I've had people tell me I tune out sometimes whenever I'm with more than one person. I can't tell you how strange it is to try and follow what they're saying, its like holding onto a slippery fish. When it comes to music, forget it. Anything that has lyrics, their lyrics are lost on me no matter what as it's gibberish compared to the musical tones and beats. This is why I prefer video game BGM, no lyrics to deal with, just pure unadulterated music.

As for how I was treated early on when it came to my deafness, I was told I was deaf, that I needed hearing aids and so forth. Nobody tried to hide the fact from me. If anything, my family members accepted this and did their best to treat me as any other hearing person. Strangely enough, according to my parents, I didn't want to sign while I was home, only at school. Looking back on this, I might've been trying to master both worlds with sign and speaking. I did have a speech pathologist during grade school, and that helped immensely.
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
I was raised hearing and my parents always told me I was lying about my hearing. But I read lips all the time even if it is in a quiet room with one other person. A lot of people cover their mouths or check their teeth. I do hate being told nevermind because I couldn't figure out what they were saying. I wish my parents noticed my problems earlier and signed me up for the deaf school or at least got me hearing aids sooner.
I know. I don't understand the anxiety about giving your kid additional things, like speechreading, ASL, Cued Speech, deaf school, deaf classes, deaf camp and so on. Most dhh and kids with other types of issues are pretty much immersed into the mainstream to the max. They don't suffer at ALL from lack of exposure to the mainstream. But giving them additional methodologies, tools, and life, social and educational experiences (not just the kneejerk of " all they need is the mainstream/hearing world") could help them THRIVE instead of just doggy paddling. There are many different pieces to the puzzle and even " just"HOH kids can really benefit from ASL, deaf schools or classes and camps and of course exposure to dhh peers!
 

DeafNerdMommy

Well-Known Member
I know. I don't understand the anxiety about giving your kid additional things, like speechreading, ASL, Cued Speech, deaf school, deaf classes, deaf camp and so on. Most dhh and kids with other types of issues are pretty much immersed into the mainstream to the max. They don't suffer at ALL from lack of exposure to the mainstream. But giving them additional methodologies, tools, and life, social and educational experiences (not just the kneejerk of " all they need is the mainstream/hearing world") could help them THRIVE instead of just doggy paddling. There are many different pieces to the puzzle and even " just"HOH kids can really benefit from ASL, deaf schools or classes and camps and of course exposure to dhh peers!
This is so true. When I took my first asl class at 14, I couldn't believe how it helped me.
 
I was raised hearing and my parents always told me I was lying about my hearing. But I read lips all the time even if it is in a quiet room with one other person. A lot of people cover their mouths or check their teeth. I do hate being told nevermind because I couldn't figure out what they were saying. I wish my parents noticed my problems earlier and signed me up for the deaf school or at least got me hearing aids sooner.
I don't think people appreciate just how much of an impact 'merely' being hard of hearing has on a person's quality of life. Frankly, I didn't even know myself. So many of the mental and physical health issues I struggle with today can be traced back to my lack of hearing. There have been deaf schools in the US for over a hundred years, along with a whole culture, language(s), ASL and otherwise. 'Deafness' is much, much easier to detect than being HOH. I see so many on this site who were HOH as a child and their hearing has deteriorated over time. That's what happens - it's a use it or lose it problem. I sure hope they have a low threshold for giving HOH kids hearing aids early on nowadays.
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
I don't think people appreciate just how much of an impact 'merely' being hard of hearing has on a person's quality of life. Frankly, I didn't even know myself. So many of the mental and physical health issues I struggle with today can be traced back to my lack of hearing. There have been deaf schools in the US for over a hundred years, along with a whole culture, language(s), ASL and otherwise. 'Deafness' is much, much easier to detect than being HOH. I see so many on this site who were HOH as a child and their hearing has deteriorated over time. That's what happens - it's a use it or lose it problem. I sure hope they have a low threshold for giving HOH kids hearing aids early on nowadays.
Well the thing is, it's a lot more complex then just giving a HOH kid a hearing aid. That is only a VERY small part of the puzzle. Hearing aids and HOH style interventions are important....but again *looking at possible lurkers* that is only a small part of the puzzle. We should be more worried about encouraging parents to sign, and looking into deaf schools and programs and camps.....Give HOH kids the WHOLE full experience, rather then simply giving them the boring old Hearing Health 101 approach. Much of that impact has to do with the very audist assumption that HOH kids are not " deaf enough." Yes, there are a lot of problems, but if you give kids EVERYTHING (a variety of tools, and life, social and educational experiences) then they will THRIVE and do well. It's just like say if you had a low vision/visually impaired kid..(not the severely multihandicapped type, but low vision/VI) ...Most of those kids get a low intervention approach. Meaning basicly large print stuff, and some time with an itinereant Teacher of the Visually Impaired. Granted most of them don't need to spend their academic career at a blind school, but say a short term placement would be good (where they go to the blind school to work on blindskills) , learning Braille as a secondary medium, intense O&M, and blind camp as well as exposure to other blind/low vision kids. Give the kid everything, with all the tools, and a well rounded experience. Then you won't see the "Oh I'm only HOH and wish ---- or " I'm "only low vision and wish" There are many many different pieces to the puzzle, and there shouldn't be any debate about methodolgy or specialized experiences!
 
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