this is important question

javapride

New Member
hi everyone i know you all are shocked im back after a long hitaus. but this has been bothering me for some time now and i need some answers asap please...

im curious,

should a deaf boyfriend lock the bedroom door when deaf mother who has a deaf kid and and others... She has told him once before not to do that when her kid was sick and he got mad, now im asking is this apporiate? i got word that one person was trying to get the mother's attention only to find the door locked and it was early evening and they banged on the door but no answer. do you think thats right?

Please understand im protecting the names i just need to get feedback here, cuz from my perspective this is a child abuse case right here... and i need to be sure im not tripping on this. thanks.
 

ChicagoBlue2

Veteran Traveler
Premium Member
hi everyone i know you all are shocked im back after a long hitaus. but this has been bothering me for some time now and i need some answers asap please...

im curious,

should a deaf boyfriend lock the bedroom door when deaf mother who has a deaf kid and and others... She has told him once before not to do that when her kid was sick and he got mad, now im asking is this apporiate? i got word that one person was trying to get the mother's attention only to find the door locked and it was early evening and they banged on the door but no answer. do you think thats right?

Please understand im protecting the names i just need to get feedback here, cuz from my perspective this is a child abuse case right here... and i need to be sure im not tripping on this. thanks.

It is in fact, child abuse. You need to contact the authorities ASAP. If the boyfriend is preventing the mother from getting to the child, there may be more than meets the eye. It's worth checking into.
 

SilverRoxy

Deaf/ASL user
Premium Member
Why did boyfriend lock the door? Is he doing something that he does not want the mother to know? Does it happen all the time? If yes, you should report to CPS anonymously.
 

ChicagoBlue2

Veteran Traveler
Premium Member
Why did boyfriend lock the door? Is he doing something that he does not want the mother to know? Does it happen all the time? If yes, you should report to CPS anonymously.

If he's locking the door and getting angry when the mother tells him not to do that, that tells me there's more than meets the eye-- I'm gonna guess he's doing harm to the child-- you can guess what I'm talking about. It's one of THOSE topics no one really likes to discuss.
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
Wait....u mean does the deaf boyfriend lock himself and the children in the bedroom away from the deaf mother or he locks the kids and the mother in the bedroom?
 

green427

Active Member
Wait....u mean does the deaf boyfriend lock himself and the children in the bedroom away from the deaf mother or he locks the kids and the mother in the bedroom?

Sounds more like the boyfriend is locking himself and the mother in the mother's bedroom so that the kids can't get in there unannounced.

If that is the case....and the mother doesn't want him doing it, then the boyfriend is in the wrong.

It is up to the mother to make the final decision. Kick the boyfriend out if she feels her kids may be in danger.....
 

SilverRoxy

Deaf/ASL user
Premium Member
Sounds more like the boyfriend is locking himself and the mother in the mother's bedroom so that the kids can't get in there unannounced.

If that is the case....and the mother doesn't want him doing it, then the boyfriend is in the wrong.

It is up to the mother to make the final decision. Kick the boyfriend out if she feels her kids may be in danger.....

That makes more sense. I hope OP comes back to explain the situation clearly.
 

ambrosia

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
I don't think you explained yhe situation well enough to give an opinion.

When I lock myself in the bathroom my daughter slips notes under the door if she needs some thing.
 

dereksbicycles

Active Member
If the deaf Mom doesn't get rid of her controlling boyfriend, then she has no one to blame but herself. Get it together and get rid of headaches in her life.
 

rockin'robin

Well-Known Member
Feel it's more "neglect" than abuse....who knows?...And if the bedroom door was locked because they wanted to have Sex...they should wait until the kid(s) are sleeping...even then, not a good idea to lock the door....

Is someone in a dispute over child custody?...(asking the OP)....
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
Most bedrooms doors have a little button on outside of the door , you can open the door by pushing the push with a tiny screwdriver . If the door has another kind of lock the mother should have it taken of the door. The guy should not be preventing the mother from getting her child. She should call 911 if she is not able to break the door down. If that happen to me I would try to kick the door open.
 

javapride

New Member
WOW alot of responses all in the same format thank you on this that makes me feel better now

as for clatrficiation, let me expand that, the mother is deaf and has full custody of the kids, the boyfriend lives there, he has been told never to lock the door at night so that her kids can come in if they are sick or hear something ( theres cpl of hearing kids/one deaf) she has told him in front of me not to lock the door and i supported that and when i went to ask the kid to let mom know i messaged her found the door was locked she woke up the following morning to find the door lock she was pissed but she tried very hard to explain to him we are deaf we are not going to depend on the hearing kids to take care of us so therefore the door stays unlock we can close it but dont lock it. if we want to play ( some of u know what i mean) do it when they arent home simple ie; school) well its has happened several times and its making her stressed out so now i can say this for her and show her this when the time is right thank u all.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
I don't think you explained yhe situation well enough to give an opinion.

When I lock myself in the bathroom my daughter slips notes under the door if she needs some thing.

What if you're taking a shower and your daughter need you right away? I never looked my bedroom or bathroom when my daughter was younger .


I feel the boyfriend does not respect the mother and she should dump him. He sound very jealous of the kids and controlling and that is NOT a good thing in an relationship.
The mother should all mean NOT leave her kids alone with the guy. You should do a background check on him .
 

Anij

Well-Known Member
If the boyfriend is locking the (adults/parent) door for privacy, then the easiest thing would be to just put a doorbell (visual signaller) on the outside of their bedroom.

I think it's reasonable for the mom and her boyfriend to have a way to prevent kids from barging in (and kids DO), however they also need to take steps to make sure that if the kids do need them, they can be notified- a doorbell is the easiest way for a Hoh/Deaf family to fix the issue.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
If the boyfriend is locking the (adults/parent) door for privacy, then the easiest thing would be to just put a doorbell (visual signaller) on the outside of their bedroom.

I think it's reasonable for the mom and her boyfriend to have a way to prevent kids from barging in (and kids DO), however they also need to take steps to make sure that if the kids do need them, they can be notified- a doorbell is the easiest way for a Hoh/Deaf family to fix the issue.

I disagree with this , I feel that the b/f should be listening to the mother and the fact that he is NOT listening is a Red flag to me. The mother should not give into the guy , they're her kids and the guy has to do as told!
 
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