The Guys' Rules

yankees

New Member
At last a guy has taken time to write all this down

Finally the guys’ side of the story (I must admit it’s pretty good)
We always hear ”THE RULES” From the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side
These are our rules!
Please note..these are all numbered “1”
ON PURPOSE

1. Men are not mind readers

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl.
If it’s up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports.It’s like a full moon or the changing
of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to
think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be CLEAR on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say IT!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it.That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a PROBLEM
See a doctor

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument.In fact,all comments become null and void
after 7 days.

1. If you wont dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls,don’t
Expect us to act like soap opera guys

1. If you think you’re fat,you probally are.Don’t ASK us

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and
one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how
you want it done.Not Both.If you already knowbest how
to do it, just do it yourself

1. Whenever possible,please say whatever you have to
say during commercials

1. ALL men see only 16 colors,like Windows default
settings. Peach,for example,is a fruit,not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.We do that

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say”nothing”,We will
act like nothing’s wrong.We know you are lying,but
it is just not worth the hassle

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,absolutely anything
you wear is fine…REALLY

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,the shotgun
formation, or golf

1. You have enough clothes

1. You have too many shoes

1. I am in shape Round IS a shape!

1. Thankyou for reading this.Yes, I know I have to
sleep on the couch tonight:
But did you know know men really don’t mind that?
It’s like camping!!
 

Roadrunner

New Member
The train might be gone but.... the memory is still lingering somewhere in that head of yours ;)


Uh-ohhh...but then again, the memory may be going around 'up there', ya know, like how a ceiling fan goes around? :lol:

But...as for 'saying what it is'....**peace out!** :D





~RR
 

Roadrunner

New Member
Umm...psssttt...dear? As one of those 'number one' reasons that was stated in the first post...here it goes:


"1. Thankyou for reading this.Yes, I know I have to
sleep on the couch tonight:
But did you know know men really don’t mind that?
It’s like camping!!"

Do I need to say more? Unless you 'neeeeeed' me??? *chuckles* :naughty:




~RR
 

armymech81

New Member
Besides, sleeping on the couch means we get a good night sleep. We don't get a ice cube shoved up next to us in the middle of the night and scare us out of our sleep and also have more sleeping room.:rofl:

I know it an be 90 in the house when my wife and I are asleep, but I swear. Soon as my wife goes to bed, her body temp goes down to -50 and she must shove her feet on my legs and her hands on my back. I tend to jump 50 ft in the air when she does that. I also land on the floor cause by that time, I had only a foot of bed left to sleep on, from half the bed when we went to bed. :giggle:

I better go before my wife sees this and puts me on the couch before she gets here :iolol:
 

armymech81

New Member
Umm...psssttt...dear? As one of those 'number one' reasons that was stated in the first post...here it goes:


"1. Thankyou for reading this.Yes, I know I have to
sleep on the couch tonight:
But did you know know men really don’t mind that?
It’s like camping!!"

Do I need to say more? Unless you 'neeeeeed' me??? *chuckles* :naughty:




~RR
She needs u like a hole in the head, remember, marrage is just an expensive way to get your clothes washed for free. I thought marriage was a way to know u get action in bed everyday, but it was a lie!!!! :pissed::giggle: :rofl:
 

Lil_country_gal

New Member
Oh lord if my fiance ever said any of those he wouldn't even get the couch the gargage floor would be more like it and no blankets or pillows just concrete.
 

BabyHornyBrat4

New Member
Besides, sleeping on the couch means we get a good night sleep. We don't get a ice cube shoved up next to us in the middle of the night and scare us out of our sleep and also have more sleeping room.:rofl:

I know it an be 90 in the house when my wife and I are asleep, but I swear. Soon as my wife goes to bed, her body temp goes down to -50 and she must shove her feet on my legs and her hands on my back. I tend to jump 50 ft in the air when she does that. I also land on the floor cause by that time, I had only a foot of bed left to sleep on, from half the bed when we went to bed. :giggle:

I better go before my wife sees this and puts me on the couch before she gets here :iolol:


LOL LOL!! I love to have my legs and hands around you until I am warm enough.. LOL.... I love to push you to very end of the bed so u could fell down! LMAO! Am I being mean wife? LOL.. NAH! I Love you to death! I move too much while I asleep.. lol...:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:
 

Ruliya

New Member
Ha ha. Good-hearted humorous thread! Here's some counter-arguments and comments:

1. Men are not mind readers

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be CLEAR on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say IT!


I hate to concede but with several beaus in my life, I had learned that blokes can't apperceived of my hints.

1. If you wont dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls,don’t
Expect us to act like soap opera guys


If you want us to dress like the Victoria's Secret women --- I did that only for my beaus --- and then blokes should wear conservative suits & ties, lose the beer belly and shave their facial chins [individual opinion, obviously].

1. If you think you’re fat,you probally are.Don’t ASK us

I never will ask but my would-be beau better not ASK me why if I gain some weight. Tah dah!

1. You have too many shoes

Blokes watch too many dim-witted shows and games on TV. And blokes have too many tools. =\

1. Thankyou for reading this.Yes, I know I have to
sleep on the couch tonight:
But did you know know men really don’t mind that?
It’s like camping!!


I gladly would tell my beau, if I had one, to go ahead and get lost because he's smelly nonetheless! And the bed space is mine! Mine! =P
 

armymech81

New Member
Women are just jealous of us guys cause we can walk into the woods, stand up and take a piss. If they do that, they will pee on their shoes!!! :giggle:
 
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