Punishment / Guidance

ChelEler

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Punishment. It is difficult to punish your loved ones, isn't it? It's always hard for me to stand on my ground to the very end of the punishment I said to my boys. Why it is hard because my oldest son kept bugging me over and over and over about one thing he complains about. Ugh! I had to punish him for that so he can be quiet and drop the issue. Sheesh. I have already explained to him the reasons and the "whys" for thousands times. :roll: He still keep complaining and whining. He's five now. What would you do if you're in my shoes?

Mealtimes is the hardest time for me because they won't eat what I cooked unless it is something they want. :ugh: They cannot have everything they want, can they? I have been reasoning with them all the time with mealtime and so forth. How do you punish them if they don't eat what they have on their plates?

My girlfriend told me this that, "if you won't eat, ok fine, go play, but you'll eat this same food for the next mealtime. At next mealtime, no eat, fine go play but again eat same food for the next mealtime. Same next same next...until they finally eat it." If they are very hungry, probably eat, right? Nothing else except water. I was like, wow, good idea, but what about their eating health habit? What would you do if your children won't eat what you cooked for them?

Guidance is easier way to do with children than punishing them, for me it is. Because it's almost like teaching and helping them to understand the reasons. I like to do that, but if they kept asking and asking the same question. One after the same one within five minutes or so. It's annoying!!! I just told them the answer... why can't they just take it as a fact?

For an example: My boy asked me

"Why do you have to go to work?"
- To make money
"Why do you have to make money?"
- To support you by keeping the house, keeping food coming, keeping utilities going, etc.
"Why do you have to support me?"
- So you won't be living out there on street like a bum
"What is a bum?"
- ............

AUGH! They kept asking and asking! It's fun at the beginning, but not on and on and on and on!! I just do not know how to "stop" them. I know they are interested in life and all that, but not asking these questions next after the next. It's exhausting for me. What would you say? How do we as an adult think like a child to answer these questions (funny answers, probably). It's awkward for me.
 
I know exactly how you feel. There are NTID students who are like that. They just don't accept thing the way they are and won't shut up. I do something for them and they ask me why I'm doing it. No matter what answer I give them, they keep up. Argh!
 
ChelEler said:
"Why do you have to go to work?"
- To make money
"Why do you have to make money?"
- To support you by keeping the house, keeping food coming, keeping utilities going, etc.
"Why do you have to support me?"
- So you won't be living out there on street like a bum
"What is a bum?"
- ............

Well, FYI, I havent start a family yet, but am planning on soon sometime. I want to have at lesat 4 kids, so--- :) My mom have been very patient with me. I am deaf and my parents are hearing. I have high respect for my mother as she sacrifice lot of time learning sign language (Id say her skill is like PSE). She tend to let me choose whatever I want, and remind me that there is ALWAYS a conquence, ex. If I dont eat, what will happen to me? I will get hungry, and weak, and so on. If I give my younger brother a hard time, my mother will ask, "what do you think the conquence of giving your brother a hard time" "uhmmmm, ground me?" She have to make it firm with the punishment because once she bend it, she will do (bend) it again.

But make sure not to lose sense of humor, because you will need it to have fun with kids... like the quote above, you can ask your kids "then why are you here?" "bum is like a poor monster under your bed, they are so bored and dont get to play toys and stuff... they only can eat (insert kid's worst food) for the rest of their life."

Just to have fun :)
 
NightwarriorJin said:
Well, FYI, I havent start a family yet, but am planning on soon sometime. I want to have at lesat 4 kids, so--- :) My mom have been very patient with me. I am deaf and my parents are hearing. I have high respect for my mother as she sacrifice lot of time learning sign language (Id say her skill is like PSE). She tend to let me choose whatever I want, and remind me that there is ALWAYS a conquence, ex. If I dont eat, what will happen to me? I will get hungry, and weak, and so on. If I give my younger brother a hard time, my mother will ask, "what do you think the conquence of giving your brother a hard time" "uhmmmm, ground me?" She have to make it firm with the punishment because once she bend it, she will do (bend) it again.

But make sure not to lose sense of humor, because you will need it to have fun with kids... like the quote above, you can ask your kids "then why are you here?" "bum is like a poor monster under your bed, they are so bored and dont get to play toys and stuff... they only can eat (insert kid's worst food) for the rest of their life."

Just to have fun :)
Yes, I understand your point, and I want to be like that, but it's awkward for me because I was not raised that way. I always think serious on almost everything now. (sigh) That's why I posted this to see if I can get any more ideas. I appreciate your advices. :thumb:
 
For starters...if a child keep questioning one after the other, sometimes it helps to get the child's mind off the subject matter by doing something or directing that child towards something to do...like draw attention to a toy, a tv show, etc...it's something I've always have done when a child is in the state of crying constantly like it won't stop...since they are 'thinking' on the cause of their cries and trying to change their mind into thinking on something else does work quite well often....
 
Some of you guys should be glad that you guys arent in my shoes..

:D
soon 6 kids.. non stop asking "whys... whats... why nots & etc etc"

............... (sigh)

have alot patiences.. as much you tell them.. they will stop bugging you.. if you stop them or.. walk away after asking 3 or 4th questions.. they will keep on bugging..
Just nodding and as much reply in short answer.. the long answer the long you get more questions..... after they asked..

Hey.. ChelElr.. I dont want compare your statments or crictazie you but i just giving you example what i did to my kids hehe.. (I know i am bad or meany) but let them figure out though...
Like ChelEler said.
Originally Posted by ChelEler
"Why do you have to go to work?"
- To make money
"Why do you have to make money?"
- To support you by keeping the house, keeping food coming, keeping utilities going, etc.
"Why do you have to support me?"
- So you won't be living out there on street like a bum
"What is a bum?"
- ............


For me. i would say..

"Why do you have to go to work?"
----same answer as ChelEler..

"Why do you have to make money?"
---- who will pay the house and bills? (they will gulped) hehe

if they ask..--"Why do you have to support me?"
---- ok.. you want food and clothes or go starve and go nakked..

hehe..

try make short as much.. less hassle.. OR.. if they keep asking..
tell them you are tired and busy.. give them a piece of paper to have them write down.. when YOU Have time to answer them.. it will help their writing & english grammar too.
 
Wow, that's an idea... however, they're not old enough to write questions yet. So more patience. :lol:

I did answer to them "Do you want to live out there on street with no clothes and no food?" to their questions about working / money several times. They may have forgotten that statement already.

Now, just now, my oldest son came to me complaining "Mom, I told you not to leave this fun paperwork out because it's all torn up from (his younger brother)" I just replied "What fun paperwork?" He showed me the torn apart paperwork. Then I said "I already put it away, and somehow you or he got into it, took it out, left it on the floor. If you saw it on the floor, you know what to do, leave it there or put it away. So don't put your responsiblity on me." Now, he's mad. I'm teaching him minor responsibility. He knows about responsibility. He's five now. So am I doing the right thing?
 
ChelEler said:
Wow, that's an idea... however, they're not old enough to write questions yet. So more patience. :lol:

I did answer to them "Do you want to live out there on street with no clothes and no food?" to their questions about working / money several times. They may have forgotten that statement already.

Now, just now, my oldest son came to me complaining "Mom, I told you not to leave this fun paperwork out because it's all torn up from (his younger brother)" I just replied "What fun paperwork?" He showed me the torn apart paperwork. Then I said "I already put it away, and somehow you or he got into it, took it out, left it on the floor. If you saw it on the floor, you know what to do, leave it there or put it away. So don't put your responsiblity on me." Now, he's mad. I'm teaching him minor responsibility. He knows about responsibility. He's five now. So am I doing the right thing?
Yes i think so! its better to teach them responsiblity at young age. When my son was like 10 or 11 he would leave his dirty clothes all over his room and not bother to put them in hamper as i told him many times to do that, well one day, he ran complaining to me and said he has no clean underwear, i said did you put the dirty ones in the hamper? he goes.."arrrrggghhh"..lol! so i told him if he want clean clothes , he will have to put dirty clothes and i will wash them. He learned his lesson! thats responsiblity!
 
Now I caught my son lying to me. :( That hurts me. It's about that "fun paperwork" thing. At first, he said that his brother torn it apart, but then now he said HE is sorry that HE (that oldest boy) torn it apart. AUGH!

I kept telling him that if he tells me the truth, he'll get a minor punishment. If he lies to me, he gets the biggest punishment than ever. He understood the consequence of that, but still he lied to me. :( I'm so hurt for not be able to trust him now.
 
ChelEler said:
Wow, that's an idea... however, they're not old enough to write questions yet. So more patience. :lol:

I did answer to them "Do you want to live out there on street with no clothes and no food?" to their questions about working / money several times. They may have forgotten that statement already.

Now, just now, my oldest son came to me complaining "Mom, I told you not to leave this fun paperwork out because it's all torn up from (his younger brother)" I just replied "What fun paperwork?" He showed me the torn apart paperwork. Then I said "I already put it away, and somehow you or he got into it, took it out, left it on the floor. If you saw it on the floor, you know what to do, leave it there or put it away. So don't put your responsiblity on me." Now, he's mad. I'm teaching him minor responsibility. He knows about responsibility. He's five now. So am I doing the right thing?


You are not only one..

all my kids always blamed each other for ripping up or using or color over.. or break toy or using toy ....etc etc etc.. whatever..

all i say.. you left there, how many times i told you to PUT away.. dont yell at me.. or whine at me..
they will just go quiet...........------<gulp>
 
Yeah... sometimes it works, sometimes it does not work. My boys cannot make up their minds. (sigh)
 
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