Need to vent!

ange26s

New Member
so I decided to join a fb parents with cochlear implants online group. I am removing myself from it. I just dont feel like I fit in with the conversations and ideas of the parents in the forum. To be honest I REGRET having my daughter implanted. I feel terrible for all she has gone through physically and emotionally over the years due to her CI. Am I the only parent who is irritated at the fact that as a society we're so quick to have our babies implanted?! What is wrong with our child being Deaf?? NOTHING! And we do not know all the long term effects of these implants. Why did my daughter and so many others get diagnosed with epilepsy? hmm?? These implants have not been around very long considering & what horrible side effects can come about 50-70 yrs from now? And now technology is advancing even further with the addition of adding MP capabilities, water proofing, wifi, etc. Im just annoyed that everyone wants to "fix" their child and not even expose them to ASL. I thought I was doing the right thing 10 years ago, but in hindsight I was following the herd of sheep.. I responded to a post tonight and my daughter read it. She gave me a hug, kissed my cheek and signed I love you with a huge smile and walked away. In the response I was just explaining how my daughter no longer wears her processor and attends a school for the Deaf & is super happy and healthy. Anyway, Im not trying to bash parents that have their child implanted, Im just frustrated that we're made to feel like thats it! you gotta do it! Babies are being implanted younger and younger.. Ugg, I probably sound like a witch, but just venting :)
 

DeafNerdMommy

Well-Known Member
I think you have some valid points. I get that parents feel like what they did for their kid was right, but they should also be considerate to other parents feelings. I am sorry you and your daughter have not had a good run with a ci, I hope asl works out for both of you :)
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
so I decided to join a fb parents with cochlear implants online group. I am removing myself from it. I just dont feel like I fit in with the conversations and ideas of the parents in the forum. To be honest I REGRET having my daughter implanted. I feel terrible for all she has gone through physically and emotionally over the years due to her CI. Am I the only parent who is irritated at the fact that as a society we're so quick to have our babies implanted?! What is wrong with our child being Deaf?? NOTHING! And we do not know all the long term effects of these implants. Why did my daughter and so many others get diagnosed with epilepsy? hmm?? These implants have not been around very long considering & what horrible side effects can come about 50-70 yrs from now? And now technology is advancing even further with the addition of adding MP capabilities, water proofing, wifi, etc. Im just annoyed that everyone wants to "fix" their child and not even expose them to ASL. I thought I was doing the right thing 10 years ago, but in hindsight I was following the herd of sheep.. I responded to a post tonight and my daughter read it. She gave me a hug, kissed my cheek and signed I love you with a huge smile and walked away. In the response I was just explaining how my daughter no longer wears her processor and attends a school for the Deaf & is super happy and healthy. Anyway, Im not trying to bash parents that have their child implanted, Im just frustrated that we're made to feel like thats it! you gotta do it! Babies are being implanted younger and younger.. Ugg, I probably sound like a witch, but just venting :)
Let me guess.....very oral, like they'd get upset if you suggested an oral school, program or camp? It's not you. Those groups are taken over by oral extremists, who are trying to market CIs and auditory verbal style oralism. You see the exact same things...Are you a member of the genral deaf/HOH group? Post there...there's loads of pro ASL people there....Also are you a member of American Society for Deaf Children?
 

Beowulf

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Yep I know that. What I meant was has this parent thought about putting the kid though another surgery as she is worried about long efforts as this would be the only way to limit them.

Just curious--are you in law enforcement? Or some capacity of it?
 

anakin

Member
Please don't regret making the decision. You did what you thought was best for your child at the time. My parents did the same thing to me and I no longer use the CI. I used to resent them for it but as I got older, I started to understand why they did it. They were simply trying to provide access to every resource they could get their hands on for me. They gave me the OPTION to hear. They learned sign before the CI surgery, which is something I am incredibly thankful for. I received the CI in 1994 shortly after I turned 7, and stopped wearing it around 2004, when I was 17. I'm now 30 and I don't miss it one bit, but I still have the external device in a drawer - just in case.

Could you please elaborate more on the epilepsy? That piqued my interest as I had several seizures between 2004 and 2007. The doctor attributed it to stress. I did have some localized pain several years ago (pretty sure I made posts about it on here), but it just went away.
 

sonocativo

Well-Known Member
There
so I decided to join a fb parents with cochlear implants online group. I am removing myself from it. I just dont feel like I fit in with the conversations and ideas of the parents in the forum. To be honest I REGRET having my daughter implanted. I feel terrible for all she has gone through physically and emotionally over the years due to her CI. Am I the only parent who is irritated at the fact that as a society we're so quick to have our babies implanted?! What is wrong with our child being Deaf?? NOTHING! And we do not know all the long term effects of these implants. Why did my daughter and so many others get diagnosed with epilepsy? hmm?? These implants have not been around very long considering & what horrible side effects can come about 50-70 yrs from now? And now technology is advancing even further with the addition of adding MP capabilities, water proofing, wifi, etc. Im just annoyed that everyone wants to "fix" their child and not even expose them to ASL. I thought I was doing the right thing 10 years ago, but in hindsight I was following the herd of sheep.. I responded to a post tonight and my daughter read it. She gave me a hug, kissed my cheek and signed I love you with a huge smile and walked away. In the response I was just explaining how my daughter no longer wears her processor and attends a school for the Deaf & is super happy and healthy. Anyway, Im not trying to bash parents that have their child implanted, Im just frustrated that we're made to feel like thats it! you gotta do it! Babies are being implanted younger and younger.. Ugg, I probably sound like a witch, but just venting :)
There are FB pages just as bad as here, But there are a couple facebook groups that are awesome and vr supportive. Don't know what bad experiences you've had but seizures aren't related to the implants. The implants actually help people with Meniere's or Vertigo.... and other issues. Cochlear has been around awhile, not like it was new yesterday and as far as long term effects it is very very minimal. There is nothing wrong with your child being deaf, its a hearing world and depending on how you cope with it and how your child adapts to the future of being deaf in a hearing world she can succeed. I am Bi-laterally implanted the past 3 years now and I still like to go ears off from time to time, so basically the best of both worlds.... don't hold her back and let her do her thing, if she wants to hear let her, if she wants to go deaf let her, if she wants to enjoy both...let her ! We do what we think is best for our children, sometimes its a hard decision... The only wrong decision is not making a decision. I wish my parents knew and had the resources when I was young to be implanted, I really wish I was able to hear growing up as Id be in a better position than I am today....... Long term effect not in health but in success !
 

Tristen

Member
so I decided to join a fb parents with cochlear implants online group. I am removing myself from it. I just dont feel like I fit in with the conversations and ideas of the parents in the forum. To be honest I REGRET having my daughter implanted. I feel terrible for all she has gone through physically and emotionally over the years due to her CI. Am I the only parent who is irritated at the fact that as a society we're so quick to have our babies implanted?! What is wrong with our child being Deaf?? NOTHING! And we do not know all the long term effects of these implants. Why did my daughter and so many others get diagnosed with epilepsy? hmm?? These implants have not been around very long considering & what horrible side effects can come about 50-70 yrs from now? And now technology is advancing even further with the addition of adding MP capabilities, water proofing, wifi, etc. Im just annoyed that everyone wants to "fix" their child and not even expose them to ASL. I thought I was doing the right thing 10 years ago, but in hindsight I was following the herd of sheep.. I responded to a post tonight and my daughter read it. She gave me a hug, kissed my cheek and signed I love you with a huge smile and walked away. In the response I was just explaining how my daughter no longer wears her processor and attends a school for the Deaf & is super happy and healthy. Anyway, Im not trying to bash parents that have their child implanted, Im just frustrated that we're made to feel like thats it! you gotta do it! Babies are being implanted younger and younger.. Ugg, I probably sound like a witch, but just venting :)

There are other facebook groups, like Parents of CI Kids Who Sign, and Parents of Deaf Kids: Sign Language, Community, Culture. I'm on all those facebook groups, and I agree with you. They act like being deaf is a problem to fix. They insist on "eyes open, ears on". They don't allow their kids hearing breaks, they force them to wear the processors 24/7. I have to really bite my tongue and not get into heated arguments. But then my other groups' posts come up, like videos of toddlers signing and kids and therapists using both signing and spoken language. Don't be hard on yourself for making the decision to implant her. We all just try to do the best we can with the knowledge we're given. And its sad that we can't trust the information given to us by licensed professionals. Its sad that these licensed professionals, whom we trust, who are supposed to have our and our kids' best interests at heart, don't look at the child as a person, they just see a problem to fix.
 

sonocativo

Well-Known Member
There are other facebook groups, like Parents of CI Kids Who Sign, and Parents of Deaf Kids: Sign Language, Community, Culture. I'm on all those facebook groups, and I agree with you. They act like being deaf is a problem to fix. They insist on "eyes open, ears on". They don't allow their kids hearing breaks, they force them to wear the processors 24/7. I have to really bite my tongue and not get into heated arguments. But then my other groups' posts come up, like videos of toddlers signing and kids and therapists using both signing and spoken language. Don't be hard on yourself for making the decision to implant her. We all just try to do the best we can with the knowledge we're given. And its sad that we can't trust the information given to us by licensed professionals. Its sad that these licensed professionals, whom we trust, who are supposed to have our and our kids' best interests at heart, don't look at the child as a person, they just see a problem to fix.
Those are the bad groups. The ones I experience they may suggest things but leaves everyone to make their own decisions not force them or make them feel cornered. Basically they just share their experiences and people share their experiences growing up as a deaf child or implanted child and what they thought... If a group is totally against CI's or Hearing.... that's not a neutral group.... just like here, so many anti CI's anti Hearing world...ect... funny how Deafs are so againsts it, yet they are all in the same boat, just some choose to have the best of both worlds. Nothing wrong with that. You do what you think is best for your child, that's your decision and no one elses. When someone forces upon you a decision or makes you feel intimidated, that's not a friendly atmosphere at all. Do what you think is right, you are not forcing any deafies to change their life, you are not causing a deaf genocide.... its just a way of life, they live theirs you live yours.
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
There are other facebook groups, like Parents of CI Kids Who Sign, and Parents of Deaf Kids: Sign Language, Community, Culture. I'm on all those facebook groups, and I agree with you. They act like being deaf is a problem to fix. They insist on "eyes open, ears on". They don't allow their kids hearing breaks, they force them to wear the processors 24/7. I have to really bite my tongue and not get into heated arguments. But then my other groups' posts come up, like videos of toddlers signing and kids and therapists using both signing and spoken language. Don't be hard on yourself for making the decision to implant her. We all just try to do the best we can with the knowledge we're given. And its sad that we can't trust the information given to us by licensed professionals. Its sad that these licensed professionals, whom we trust, who are supposed to have our and our kids' best interests at heart, don't look at the child as a person, they just see a problem to fix.
I'll tell you a secret. Most of the hardcore parents are going to realize their kid isn't doing so well in a few years. I really do feel bad for them b/c they're so anxious about speech which is only ONE part of the puzzle.
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
Now wait a minute. My parents are dead and they never told me they realized it. Lol
There are exceptions, especially if they are superhardcore. But a LOT of the "my kid is doing SO WELL" is the cute little kid phenonmoen......Stuff gets bad especially socially.
 
Top