I'm on a quest to get married.

DeafCaroline

New Member
Marriage is a complicated enough affair and if two people are marrying just for health insurance, that would mean the "wife" would have to be extra nice to the husband and not piss him off in any way and be willing to chip in money if the "husband" has to pay bit more in premiums for health insurance. What if the "husband" falls in love with another woman 6 months later and wants a divorce so he could marry her then the "wife" would be back to the same old problem. Or what if the "husband" turns out to be a jerk (that does happen! boyfriends or husbands can go from being nice to an asshole very easily) and start extorting the wife for special favours so she could hold onto her health insurance.

It's such a bad idea to marry for such reasons in so many ways.

It's better to be responsible for oneself.
 

Babyblue

New Member
Marriage is a complicated enough affair and if two people are marrying just for health insurance, that would mean the "wife" would have to be extra nice to the husband and not piss him off in any way and be willing to chip in money if the "husband" has to pay bit more in premiums for health insurance. What if the "husband" falls in love with another woman 6 months later and wants a divorce so he could marry her then the "wife" would be back to the same old problem. Or what if the "husband" turns out to be a jerk (that does happen! boyfriends or husbands can go from being nice to an asshole very easily) and start extorting the wife for special favours so she could hold onto her health insurance.

It's such a bad idea to marry for such reasons in so many ways.
It's better to be responsible for oneself.

I agree.

Codependency comes into play to keep the insurance....
 

rockin'robin

Well-Known Member
Marriage is a complicated enough affair and if two people are marrying just for health insurance, that would mean the "wife" would have to be extra nice to the husband and not piss him off in any way and be willing to chip in money if the "husband" has to pay bit more in premiums for health insurance. What if the "husband" falls in love with another woman 6 months later and wants a divorce so he could marry her then the "wife" would be back to the same old problem. Or what if the "husband" turns out to be a jerk (that does happen! boyfriends or husbands can go from being nice to an asshole very easily) and start extorting the wife for special favours so she could hold onto her health insurance.

It's such a bad idea to marry for such reasons in so many ways.

It's better to be responsible for oneself.

That's true..."backfiring" in their face....it's the risk they are taking, but no one gets anywhere in life if they don't take risks here and there.....and the old saying...what goes around, comes around..sort of like "Karma".....

As for myself, I'm responsible for myself, always have been, and I'm called a "tough cookie"...But there are times, when some people have their backs against the wall...and see no other way out.....and have to swallow the consequences of what they have chosen to do to make things better for themselves....

It's called "learning" the hard way...but again, if both parties agree upon whatever they attempt to do, that's their business. Sometimes it works out good for both of them...and hopefully it will for TheOracle....
 

DeafCaroline

New Member
You have a point, I learned some things the hard way and finally realized that I had to be in control of my own life if I want things to go a certain way.

but seriously rockin' robin - you're advocating women marry men to get health insurance and just live with the consequences of that? You don't see that to deal with one problem, they could be getting themselves into an even bigger mess? And if that happens, well, they could be worse off than before

You're advocating for theoracle to be dependent, not independent and supporting that she could create bigger problems not only for herself but also for her child. that's not good.
 

diehardbiker

Active Member
Man! You nailed 16D nail too deep in 4 by 4 with single strike!

You said the exactly why its bad idea to rush.

Until I met my wife. Whenever a lady asked me about marriage, it DOES terrified me and I tend to redirect to something else. I decided to go ahead married at the right moment where my wife and I were discussing that we have been together long time though thin and thick and that we have kid to raise together. At that time I realize that this is my family and I cherish it. This results one of cooliest thing about this is that nothing has been changed before and after marriage. Instead of rushing into marriage just for material reason whatsover, then after marriage everything DOES change which usually for the worse.

Marriage is a complicated enough affair and if two people are marrying just for health insurance, that would mean the "wife" would have to be extra nice to the husband and not piss him off in any way and be willing to chip in money if the "husband" has to pay bit more in premiums for health insurance. What if the "husband" falls in love with another woman 6 months later and wants a divorce so he could marry her then the "wife" would be back to the same old problem. Or what if the "husband" turns out to be a jerk (that does happen! boyfriends or husbands can go from being nice to an asshole very easily) and start extorting the wife for special favours so she could hold onto her health insurance.

It's such a bad idea to marry for such reasons in so many ways.

It's better to be responsible for oneself.
 

rockin'robin

Well-Known Member
You have a point, I learned some things the hard way and finally realized that I had to be in control of my own life if I want things to go a certain way.

but seriously rockin' robin - you're advocating women marry men to get health insurance and just live with the consequences of that? You don't see that to deal with one problem, they could be getting themselves into an even bigger mess? And if that happens, well, they could be worse off than before

You're advocating for theoracle to be dependent, not independent and supporting that she could create bigger problems not only for herself but also for her child. that's not good.

No, I'm not advocating anything....personally, as for myself, I would not do what she is attempting to do....as I have another way out if I were caught up in this predictment....She seems to think or maybe "know" that she does not.....maybe she hasn't even thought it out very clearly or thoroughly and is just grapsing at straws and input about the subject....

On the same note...if you were homeless and had no food, and no one would help you....would you eat out of a dumpster?...I sure would in order to survive.

A lot of people do what they have to do just to survive....and if it's a bad choice, then it's their choice, but they did what they thought at the time was the only thing to do, whether it be right or wrong in other people's eyes.

It's possible she may come up with a better solution to her problem and not have to take these drastic steps. But, all in all, it's her choice.
 

DeafCaroline

New Member
But, all in all, it's her choice.

you're right about that. I just think it's a bad choice. Would I eat out of a dumpster if i was starving? sure, but I still wouldn't sell my life and freedom for health insurance. There's a reason I always put money away in the bank instead of buying what I don't need so I never have to be in that position where I and my child are dependent on someone who could easily destroy our lives in a split second if they decide they don't want to stay married anymore.
 

sequoias

Active Member
Premium Member
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