How should I handle this?

I

In A Cloud...

New Member
Joined
Mar 16, 2013
Messages
135
Reaction score
0
I don't want to get my co worker in trouble so I won't report it to the boss.

When I found out that I needed the HAs, I decided not to try to hide it. So I told the people in my dept first. A small group of 7 people, we are pretty close and have been a means of support for each other through good and bad.

I then decided that since they will find out anyway, I slowly mentioned it to others that work with us but these people are not as close to me. I pretty much told them because a lot of times they would get frustrated because I could not hear them and to me, telling them about my hearing loss sort of explains it all.

There's this one guy who now teases me about it. He pretends to do sign language, while talking to me with a deaf accent. When I answer a question he has for me, he says "what? WHAT??" and puts his hand to his ear. He then starts to laugh. I've looked at him straight on and asked him not to do this, it's not funny. He just laughs.

I have flat out asked him, "Are you making fun of me because I'm having a hard time hearing you?" And of course, he says "No, I have a hearing problem too." Yet I am pretty confident he does not. Because if he did, he should have the empathy to not tease me about this.

I have told him that it's not fair that he does this, I am not asking him to repeat himself just to be a jerk.

But he still does this.

I don't know what to do at this point.
 
Report him for harassment.

You might tell him you are going to before you do it to give him one last chance.
 
he needs to be reported. That's not appropriate behavior for your job.
 
In A Cloud... said:
I don't want to get my co worker in trouble so I won't report it to the boss.

When I found out that I needed the HAs, I decided not to try to hide it. So I told the people in my dept first. A small group of 7 people, we are pretty close and have been a means of support for each other through good and bad.

I then decided that since they will find out anyway, I slowly mentioned it to others that work with us but these people are not as close to me. I pretty much told them because a lot of times they would get frustrated because I could not hear them and to me, telling them about my hearing loss sort of explains it all.

There's this one guy who now teases me about it. He pretends to do sign language, while talking to me with a deaf accent. When I answer a question he has for me, he says "what? WHAT??" and puts his hand to his ear. He then starts to laugh. I've looked at him straight on and asked him not to do this, it's not funny. He just laughs.

I have flat out asked him, "Are you making fun of me because I'm having a hard time hearing you?" And of course, he says "No, I have a hearing problem too." Yet I am pretty confident he does not. Because if he did, he should have the empathy to not tease me about this.

I have told him that it's not fair that he does this, I am not asking him to repeat himself just to be a jerk.

But he still does this.

I don't know what to do at this point.
Click to expand...

since you said

A small group of 7 people, we are pretty close and have been a means of support for each other through good and bad.
Click to expand...

then you'll need to have a sit-down with him alone and have a serious talk like this - "look.... [insert his name] "John"... I like working here and I like this group but I need to tell you that I get very uncomfortable when you make fun of my deafness/hearing disability. I don't like it. I would appreciate it very much if you don't do that anymore."

and he'll apologize and everybody moves on and things will get better. but if he made a joke out of this, then you'll need to report it to your manager and your manager will take care of it.

what your colleague did is illegal. it's called "hostile work environment"/"work harassment" but in many cases - things are quickly resolved by having a talk with a colleague.
 
Sounds to me like he's being a jerk. I'd raise the subject with his boss....

Laura
 
Bottesini said:
Report him for harassment.

You might tell him you are going to before you do it to give him one last chance.
Click to expand...

Giving him a warning and a chance to redeem himself is a good idea. I don't know why I didn't think of this.

dereksbicycles said:
If you have the authority to do so, you would fire that person right on the spot.
Click to expand...

If I had the authority to do so, I would want to believe he would not have said it to me! Firing him for words I think would be not according to our union contract. You need to give three warnings for the same thing in 6 months before that happens. But I don't have the authority to fire him.

LoveBlue said:
I agree with Botts suggestion.
Click to expand...

Yes, it's one to consider.

cdmeggers said:
he needs to be reported. That's not appropriate behavior for your job.
Click to expand...

At our work, it's zero tolerance and they are very strict about that. Something like this will cost him his job and he has four kids, one was just born. I don't want to be the one to cause him to be fired.

Jiro said:
since you said



then you'll need to have a sit-down with him alone and have a serious talk like this - "look.... [insert his name] "John"... I like working here and I like this group but I need to tell you that I get very uncomfortable when you make fun of my deafness/hearing disability. I don't like it. I would appreciate it very much if you don't do that anymore."

and he'll apologize and everybody moves on and things will get better. but if he made a joke out of this, then you'll need to report it to your manager and your manager will take care of it.

what your colleague did is illegal. it's called "hostile work environment"/"work harassment" but in many cases - things are quickly resolved by having a talk with a colleague.
Click to expand...

He's not one of the 7 in our close group. He works at the same company but not in my department. I had considered pulling him aside and talking to him one on one and had discussed it with the ones in our group be we agreed that he is the type that would just laugh it off and then continue on even worse.

But he may not.

Maybe I should pull him aside, talk to him and then (like Bott said) give him a chance to stop. But if I do, I need to make sure that he knows I will inform management about this.

Lau2046 said:
Sounds to me like he's being a jerk. I'd raise the subject with his boss....

Laura
Click to expand...

That's another good idea. His boss likes me and maybe I can mention it to him before management. But then again, if I mention it to his boss, that boss is obligated to tell management himself according to the zero tolerance policy.
 
In A Cloud... said:
At our work, it's zero tolerance and they are very strict about that. Something like this will cost him his job and he has four kids, one was just born. I don't want to be the one to cause him to be fired.
Click to expand...

That's nice of you, but HE should have thought of that before harassing you.
 
Feel you are a nice person!...As for myself, I've got tougher skin...and I would have told that jerk off on the spot..and if he repeated it again, sure enough I'd go to his boss..
 
The first time I even heard a deaf accent was through people I had dated. With my hearing aid, they all sound exactly the same. These women had no formal training in deaf speech, but the accent was distinct.

I don't think hearing people hear the accent the same way I do with my aid. Still, a person who could fake it must have a lot of exposure to deaf people.

I don't know what to make of this thread. There are many ways to offend someone who is deaf/HoH, but you'd have to be pretty smart to do it that way.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
The first time I even heard a deaf accent was through people I had dated. With my hearing aid, they all sound exactly the same. These women had no formal training in deaf speech, but the accent was distinct.

I don't think hearing people hear the accent the same way I do with my aid. Still, a person who could fake it must have a lot of exposure to deaf people.

I don't know what to make of this thread. There are many ways to offend someone who is deaf/HoH, but you'd have to be pretty smart to do it that way.
Click to expand...


We have two profound deaf people at my work and one other additional HOH. The profound do not orally speak, but one of them does try to enunciate sounds. The HOH person does speak orally and so do I. Both of us HOH are late in losing our hearing so we both do not have deaf accents. He does talk a lot of crap about the two that are profound and I had told him before that what he says about them is messed up and that I'd appreciate if he stops making fun of them. One of the profound co workers knows that he says stuff about him because he can lip read as well as sign. And he reads the body language. He can tell that the guy talks about him but he chooses to ignore him.
 
In A Cloud... said:
We have two profound deaf people at my work and one other additional HOH. The profound do not orally speak, but one of them does try to enunciate sounds. The HOH person does speak orally and so do I. Both of us HOH are late in losing our hearing so we both do not have deaf accents. He does talk a lot of crap about the two that are profound and I had told him before that what he says about them is messed up and that I'd appreciate if he stops making fun of them. One of the profound co workers knows that he says stuff about him because he can lip read as well as sign. And he reads the body language. He can tell that the guy talks about him but he chooses to ignore him.
Click to expand...

I've never had that many people who were deaf at a place which I have worked. That is amazing.

So, the guy has not heard a deaf accent in work, but still knows how to mimic one?

Since you are not the only deaf person in this company you are afforded a rare opportunity as you have witnesses. I would immediately go to human resourced and submit a grievance and, discreetly, send a copy to your lawyer as well. If you can get the other deaf people to go on record, so much the better.
 
My work location has 450 employees, so having four of us is not really a big deal. We also have two autistic people working for us as well. We work in a warehouse.

He mimics my friend that enunciates.

I dont' want him fired, so there is no reason to go as far as a lawyer. The reason my friend who is profound ignores him is because we ALL don't want him fired. He has a sweet wife and four kids.

I'm not trying to start trouble. Maybe I should just ignore him too.
 
Put a pocket recorder in your shirt/jacket pocket when you do talk with him, if he blows you off you will have proof that you have confronted him/her about the subject and he continued to harass you.... even the ADA will stand behind you if your employer doesn't do anything the ADA will.
 
In A Cloud... said:
My work location has 450 employees, so having four of us is not really a big deal. We also have two autistic people working for us as well. We work in a warehouse.

He mimics my friend that enunciates.

I dont' want him fired, so there is no reason to go as far as a lawyer. The reason my friend who is profound ignores him is because we ALL don't want him fired. He has a sweet wife and four kids.

I'm not trying to start trouble. Maybe I should just ignore him too.
Click to expand...

Each if you are being enablers. What if his behavior eventually causes someone to commit suicide (you don't know how his behavior affects people outside of work). It's like giving an alcoholic a drink, a smoker who's trying to quit a civvies, etc.
I can't say I would do differently than you & your co-worker, but please think about this.
 
I had the same issue with employees with my work, I just straight up called a meeting with all op dogs and employees. I laid it out on the table in front of everyone that I was pissed about it because there were a couple doing it to me. I never named anyone just laid it out neutral. A few days later they had a meeting with the top level dogs who does the hiring/firing and had everyone take a sensivity/harassment class and the "issues" stopped.
 
In A Cloud... said:
I don't want to get my co worker in trouble so I won't report it to the boss.

When I found out that I needed the HAs, I decided not to try to hide it. So I told the people in my dept first. A small group of 7 people, we are pretty close and have been a means of support for each other through good and bad.

I then decided that since they will find out anyway, I slowly mentioned it to others that work with us but these people are not as close to me. I pretty much told them because a lot of times they would get frustrated because I could not hear them and to me, telling them about my hearing loss sort of explains it all.

There's this one guy who now teases me about it. He pretends to do sign language, while talking to me with a deaf accent. When I answer a question he has for me, he says "what? WHAT??" and puts his hand to his ear. He then starts to laugh. I've looked at him straight on and asked him not to do this, it's not funny. He just laughs.

I have flat out asked him, "Are you making fun of me because I'm having a hard time hearing you?" And of course, he says "No, I have a hearing problem too." Yet I am pretty confident he does not. Because if he did, he should have the empathy to not tease me about this.

I have told him that it's not fair that he does this, I am not asking him to repeat himself just to be a jerk.

But he still does this.

I don't know what to do at this point.
Click to expand...

The guy could really be hoh and may had been picked on a lot as a child and he learned to laugh it off as may of dealing with the bullying.
I was picked on a lot for my speech and I now will laugh when I say a word incorrectly . He still should respect your feelings stop teasing you.
Maybe you could have the manger talk to the guy and you at the same time.
 
Your company is big enough that they have a decent HR department, and policies in place against this type of harassment. You need to speak to someone in HR and get this documented, because if it comes down to a He-said/she-said type situation, you need to CYA.
Good luck. Just because he has kids doesn't mean he should get away with Audist behaviours. What if he was pinching your bum, mocking your religion, or making racist comments to you? Would you tolerate that?
 
In A Cloud... said:
My work location has 450 employees, so having four of us is not really a big deal. We also have two autistic people working for us as well. We work in a warehouse.

He mimics my friend that enunciates.

I dont' want him fired, so there is no reason to go as far as a lawyer. The reason my friend who is profound ignores him is because we ALL don't want him fired. He has a sweet wife and four kids.

I'm not trying to start trouble. Maybe I should just ignore him too.
Click to expand...

he's already starting trouble. ignoring him is not an option. what he did is illegal and against company policy.

you need to tell him to stop it or you'll be forced to report him. it's his choice. if he got fired, it's because he did it to himself, not you.
 
Back
Top