How do you do it?

Cdodd

New Member
So I ride two busses on my way to work, and my odds of having small discussions with random people are pretty high. I don't mind it, I'm a huge fan of small chat; I love to socialize with strangers.

However, since my hearing's digressed further, it's getting harder and harder to distinguish peoples' words, with all the background noise (busses are loud)... Being as hard of hearing as I am, listening to people on the bus is just becoming an exhausting endeavor.

For example, I had a discussion with a fellow bus rider today, involving our lines of work (I'm a computer repair technician, he's a professional coder)... Well, he's from a country in Africa, and as such, his accent makes it even more difficult to understand what he's saying... Listening to this man literally wore me out, on a 14 minute bus ride...

So... I just need a bit of trouble-shooting advice... I don't want to seem rude to people, and I don't want to put them off from talking to me, but at the same time, talking and listening in some social circumstances just doesn't seem to be worth the work it takes nowadays.

Any advice?
 

green427

Active Member
I just avoid conversations in those situations. I tell them that I am deaf, point to my ears, and they usually leave me alone.

I can hold off conversations until the circumstances are right.
 

Cdodd

New Member
Yeah. I suppose that's probably the best way. No use straining myself, and annoying someone else because I can't hear them, I suppose.
 

Angel1989

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
This is one thing I miss the most since loosing my hearing. I always was friendly and made sure I told people to have a nice day. Especially the older people. Sometimes they have no one to talk to, so a friendly hello makes their day. It bothers me a lot when I say something and then can not understand what they say back. I find myself sitting further away and isolate myself from possible conversation.
 

Mimsy

New Member
I do my best to avoid conversation, even though I can hear and speak. I keep my eyes down when I'm on the bus or subway. Funny how different people are about talking to strangers.
 

A Nihilist

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
I'm not a big fan of small talk so I've found that avoiding eye contact is the best way to avoid strangers.
 

Cdodd

New Member
@ Angel, that's how I am. I love being social, I love knowing that I've been a positive influence to somebody, at least once a day.

@ Mimsy, I've met some wonderful people, on trains and busses, just holding idle conversation. 'Course, I've also met some coke-heads, but hey, nobody's perfect. ;)
 

Cdodd

New Member
@ Nihilist, that's not in my nature. I make eye contact with everybody I come into contact with... I dunno why, though, come to think of it. Maybe it's one of those "I'm not scared of you, I see you for who you are" things. Or maybe, I'm just friendly and talkative. :D
 

Angel1989

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
@ Angel, that's how I am. I love being social, I love knowing that I've been a positive influence to somebody, at least once a day.

@ Mimsy, I've met some wonderful people, on trains and busses, just holding idle conversation. 'Course, I've also met some coke-heads, but hey, nobody's perfect. ;)

Cdodd...I am the same, it is who I am. I won't walk up to someone and just start talking, but if we are sitting together like in a waiting room, I always said HI. I am glad I was like that all my life, now that I am deaf and home alone all day I can see how it would make one happy with a simple, "Have a nice day".
 

Cdodd

New Member
Yeah. Well, I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. Alternatively, I suppose since my hearing's declining as fast as it is, I really should go see an audiologist. Not that I'm keen on the idea...
 

Mimsy

New Member
@ Angel, that's how I am. I love being social, I love knowing that I've been a positive influence to somebody, at least once a day.

@ Mimsy, I've met some wonderful people, on trains and busses, just holding idle conversation. 'Course, I've also met some coke-heads, but hey, nobody's perfect. ;)


I wish I could be like you in this way. You have a beautiful spirit. This makes me sad, too, because I can hear and speak with no problems but I don't want to and here you are wanting to communicate on the bus and you have some difficulty with it. Life is backwards sometimes.
 

Cdodd

New Member
@mimsy well, you're always welcome to talk to me. :)

@safari I'm not planning on messing with aids or implants. I'm kind of a naturalist like that.
 

Angel1989

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
I wish I could be like you in this way. You have a beautiful spirit. This makes me sad, too, because I can hear and speak with no problems but I don't want to and here you are wanting to communicate on the bus and you have some difficulty with it. Life is backwards sometimes.

Don't be sad about it Mimsy. You seem like a super sweet person. I noticed you live in a big city. Maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe you can try with some really small steps. Older people are usually safe and you can really make their day with a simple "have a nice day". Now that I am totally deaf and stay home alone 95% of the time, when I go out and someone just says "hi" makes my day. You can always talk to me too. I am up at all crazy hours, so the time difference doesn't matter. Oh, HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!:wave:
 
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