Do you find CODA's to be more sensitive?

[Malfoyish]

A question was raised in my mind yesterday when my four-year-old son explained to his best friend that Mommy did NOT have a boo-boo in her ear. The best friend was very mystified at the CI I wear, and didn't know what it was. My son took it upon him to explain what it was all about. It was very nice to see...

...and so I am wondering - for those of you who are deaf and have hearing children - do you find your hearing child to be more emotionally sensitive because you are hearing impaired or deaf? By this, I mean as opposed to other children who are hearing and do not have much of an idea how hearing aids or CI's work. Will your child be patient with you, will he or she be eager to explain to others "what that thing in Mommy's ear" is? OR - is your child easily frustrated and agitated when you do not understand what he or she is saying? Does your child get annoyed when he or she has to translate in stores, phone calls, et cetera.

Interesting too - CODA's (Children Of Deaf Adults) sometimes grow up to become interpreters, teachers for the deaf, or work within the deaf community somehow. Me personally - I think these individuals are blessed with a certain degree of understanding, being a CODA - and I find my children are WONDERFUL when they come into contact with other deaf children and/or adults. My daughter knows to speak slowly and to enunciate her words...my middle son knows to tap the person on the shoulder, and my four year old, for some reason, believes that he has to be LOOKED at to be understood.

Any thoughts on this from other parents out there? Also those of you who have hearing siblings, and so forth...

Discuss if you like!

 

[Cheri]

Good thread Malfy

My son have told me that his friends would asked why this person is signing to your mother, What is that? They got so curious. My son told them that my mom is deaf and she knows both signs and speak, likely some deaf people like my mother cannot talk, But my mom can. And they kept asking more and more questions. Markus told me I think it would be better off if you have told them more about it. LOL! And after the music concerts was over and done with the next day they would bring it up in class and asked the teacher about Markus's mom. The teacher said sign language is something for the deaf to use to communicate with others, as understanding what is being said because they cannot hear words to pick up with their ears, they uses their eyes instead. And they said, I like Markus's mom she's cool and deaf.

Both of my boys know that I cannot hear, and they know to tab me on the shoulders if they need my attention, instead of calling my name, Markus said to me Jordan always yells out Mommy when He kept telling Jordan mom cannot hear. I love it when Jordan use his two hands on my face to pull toward to him to get my attention. I think it's cute.

It never really bothers Markus when someone tells Markus to tell your mother this or that. Sometimes he would say to them, If you look at my mother in the face while you are speaking, She can read lips. And this one guy at Red Lobester Omg! He got too close to my face! Markus burst out laughing so hard that he almost peed his pants.

 

[Malfoyish]

Aw, Cheri, I think it's wonderful that Markus looks out for you. We are very fortunate, aren't we, to have such great kids?? Do you think Markus will someday work with deaf people?

 

[Tousi]

I suppose that, generally speaking, the question Malfy's asking can be in the affirmative. However; I have known of some CODAS who have had the opposite experience....not very pretty....

Anyway, Malfy and Cheri's kids are cute as it relates to this topic....real heart-warming....

 

[Cheri]

Aw, Cheri, I think it's wonderful that Markus looks out for you. We are very fortunate, aren't we, to have such great kids?? Do you think Markus will someday work with deaf people?

Yes, We are very fortunate that we have great kids. I don't know if Markus would somedays work with deaf people, It was never mention, But I do know he wants to be a famous football player. He talks about it all the time. He always wants me at his school for school parties. The kids at his school loves me because I bring crafts for them to work on as fun Couple years ago I brought Ceramic ornaments. They love it and gives me hugs and say thanks Markus's mom..

 

[preachers_son]

I believe both my daughters grew up being more sensitive. They are actually sensitive to all people, not just deafies. I think that maybe that came from growing up with a deaf father. They always made sure they had my attention before telling me anything. they made sure their friends knew I could not hear when they were in school and some of thier friends would come to visit, their friends had questions a lot of times. they explained it all to them, they were always very patient with me, they knew it was as frustrating to me as it was to others. they are grown and moved away now, but when I visit them and meet new friends of thiers, the explain to their friends that I do not hear.
they have both ended up going into the health care field.
When I was very young, I used to grab my mom's face and turn it to me where she was looking directly at me, I was very very young, she told me I used to do that, I guess I wanted to see her mouth moving, and for her to know I was talking, I think i assumed at that very young age that everybody in the world was just like me. I laugh about it now.

 

[Angel]

Very good thread there Malfoyish sis!

All my three boys know they have to talk to my face slowly, and when they want my attention, they tapped my shoulder or put their hands on my cheeks to move my face toward to theirs ( it's cute when my little ones does it )..They know alittle signs , and they also know that their mother can not hear...My oldest son usually interpreter when I am at the store or other places that I am having a hard time understanding what others say, he would be there to sign it to me instead of them repeating it to me....What can I do without them....they're the best...

My two boys always tell their friends that I am deaf before coming over, they will even asked questions why your mother is deaf, what is she doing etc..They tell them she is signing because that how deaf people communicate with each others...They will also tell them that their mother can talk but she can't hear, my little son usually tell them that " my mom's ear are broken, that why she can't hear " I thought that was cute....Some of my boys' friends would laugh at me if I did not understand them, or they would say things behind my back just to see if I could hear them, I know some kids can be a bit cruel and think everything is a joke to them, but I don't let it bother me because my boys usually tell their friends not to make fun of their mother...

Alot of their friends are wondering what is like to be deaf, my boys always tell them just put both of your fingers in your ears then you will know what it like to be deaf, I always laughed at that part cause my boys seem to understand really well what its like to be deaf without me telling them.....Some of his friends seem to be interesting and some of them would just be too scare to talk to me or make fun of me in a way....

My two boys did told me that some of their friends said " Your mother is soo cool, I wish I had a mother like yours, so she wouldn't hear me talking on the phone with girls, or what I am doing in my bedroom with a girl " ....

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Aww, that is so sweet.

As you know, I'm disabled. My niece and nephew are about the same age as your four year old. I'm still waiting for the day when they begin to realize that "Aunt Shalace is different" from other people. They see me, and it's normal for me to be in this chair, so it's no big deal to them. It's kind of nice, really. However, I know that there will come a day when they will realize that I'm not in a wheelchair because "I was born with a boo-boo on my back", which is what we told them. It's going to be interesting when that day comes. I do believe, however, that children are more apt to be tought about things like sensitivity and empathy when they are exposed to disabilities early in life. I just wish we could teach the adults in our lives the same things our children learn, because, I think our world would be so much different.

 

[downing]

Well speaking of this thread, the other day at the store while I was waiting in the check out line, lady tried to talk to me, my three yrs old son told the lady, that mommy can not hear and you have to tap mommy's shoulders. so the lady tapped me and I looked around, lady started to asking me questions, so I was able to answer and lady admitted that my boy is too smart to tell her why i was not listening to her. EH!

Since my boys are young, I know they will be senstive down the rd by having deaf parents... have to prepare myself for that. looking forward for advices. thanks!

 

[Malfoyish]

All my three boys know they have to talk to my face slowly, and when they want my attention, they tapped my shoulder or put their hands on my cheeks to move my face toward to theirs ( it's cute when my little ones does it )....

My little one STILL does this!!!! LOL. He even does it to hearing people...kind of like, "Hey, I know you're not deaf, but I STILL want you to look at me, damnit!"

Nice responses, Cheri, Angel, Oceanbreeze, preachers_son, and downing. I still wonder just WHAT my kids' friends say behind my back, but I do think my kids are more likely to slug them.