Deaf/HOH married or in relationship with hearing

Mindyk

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Hello. I am wondering if anyone else is hearing and dating or married to someone who is deaf or HOH. My husband is hard of hearing in one ear and deaf in the other. He was told that he will be completely deaf soon. He is also a coda. One of our children is hoh as well. I am looking to discuss some of the difficulties we have in this type of relationship.
 

Bobby624

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In music, the word “coda” usually means a finale or a conclusion. In the deaf community, however, CODA stands for “child of deaf adult,” which is just the beginning for some motivated students who started the campus’ first sign language club.

International business major Sarah Hoffer ’16, raised by deaf parents, learned sign language before English.

“The biggest misconception is that deaf people cannot speak,” said Hoffer. “I often get asked how I was able to learn how to speak as a child if my parents were deaf. Both of my parents speak very well, and my speech developed normally.”

For Hoffer, being a CODA brought challenges as well as joys. She recognized the difference in her parents’ ability to communicate with her friends and in other social settings. However, it also has formed a close bond. Whenever she visits her parents, she attends deaf church with them.

“I often feel more at home within the deaf culture. It is very tight-knit,” said Hoffer. “My family knows most of the deaf people in our community, so I feel like part of a larger family.”

In 2014, Hoffer and Angela Lowe ’16 met when they each approached the Student Government Association about the need for sign language awareness on campus. As a result, they formed Messiah’s American Sign Language (ASL) Club.

“I am not a CODA, but I have always found it to be a beautiful language and an important skill,” said Lowe, a biopsychology major pursuing a doctorate in audiology. “The deaf community is largely marginalized and often gets pushed into the background for ‘cooler’ or ‘more relevant’ cultural discussions.”

The club meets weekly to learn new signs and to cover topics related to deaf culture.

Club member, CODA and athletic training major Erika Wandel ’18 grew up signing with her deaf mother. “Sign language has made me more outgoing in certain situations,” said Wandel. “It’s been a part of my life, all my life, and it’s not a big issue for me.”

What does CODA mean, sign language symbolsOne step a person can take toward assisting the deaf community is becoming more aware of it, which is one of the club’s goals. For example, as a server in a restaurant, Wandel is in a unique position to communicate with deaf diners, who she says are always pleased to meet a fellow signer.

“A good idea would be for Messiah to offer a sign language course,” said Hoffer, who served as club president. “The club has impacted Messiah, especially with education or nursing students who want to learn sign language at a beginner level.”

Lowe echoes that statement. “The deaf culture is relevant, and we will encounter it much more often than we think. At the grocery store. At church. At a conference. Being aware of the nuances of the deaf community and deaf culture is just another thing we can do as Christians to foster a sense of love and understanding for those around us in our day-to-day lives.”

— Gabrielle Kurtz ’18

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Bobby624

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Hi Mindyk & Happy New year, I'm new to the group I found it on whim while looking for there Deaf society references, so I signed up and I've been busy looking and talking to others in the group. This is an awesome as it's and I've looking for a sight like this for quite as one time, anyway as I was reading your comment I went on Google to find out what Coda means I've heard of it before but it's been awhile. I'm a single male 59 soon to be turning 60 in a month never married but just being with your soulmate is fantastic as always please be patient, respectful and empathy. I've been HOH and Deaf my hearing loss started back in the early 80's and through the years it's gotten worse. I wear two hearing aids we hucj I can hear the world, we hen I take them out I cannot hear anything and I mean nothing. Which is dangerous in it self. I have some options for you if needed, I've been on social security disability since 2013 due to my hearing impairment per SSDI severe hearing loss is one factor in receiving SSDI usually I think you need to have one other medical conditions to try to qualify for SSDI since I also have Diabetes I qualified for those entitlements. Since I live on my own I'm able to live a normal life with limited income. I do drive and that's ok and since my galavanting basically takes me to the grocery store, gas station, and doctors appointments. I own a nice late model luxury sedan, own my condo and close to the beach in Margate Florida.
My hearing loss is due to generic perhaps when I was younger I may have had a mild infection or just hereditary. As far as I know.
Look for Deaf society clubs in your community or beyond the city limits, you'll be amazed how many people have the conditions young and older. Between your husband, child and yourself you will be tickled pink just how many new aquaintences you will make and like I said if there a group society in the area you'll be content because it will be a new outlet for you and your family.
When I lived in Pittsburgh Pa there are two social clubs in the area one in downtown Pittsburgh and the other is in the next country over.there called the Pittsburgh association for the deaf and the other is called the Westmoreland association for the deaf. These two societies are very active and if you live in Pittsburgh you can always be a member of both.
Just check out there website.
They throw all sorts of holiday functions, outdoor activities and etc.
Also Seattle Washington the same thing and in NYC too.
I'm originally from NYC but I was fortunate to live in Seattle Washington for a short period of time and the same in Pittsburgh Pa.
 

Bobby624

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Hello. I am wondering if anyone else is hearing and dating or married to someone who is deaf or HOH. My husband is hard of hearing in one ear and deaf in the other. He was told that he will be completely deaf soon. He is also a coda. One of our children is hoh as well. I am looking to discuss some of the difficulties we have in this type of relationship.
So Mindyk, I given you a lot to read and process, and yes there a many relationship's out there where one or both are Deaf/HOH. If you don't have a deaf friendly social clubs in your area speak with your community leaders to see if you can facilitate one. There are Deaf people in all different cultures. So find it in your heart to start one into only will it be satisfying to your immediate family but the kids will enjoy learning new things like ASL, reading lips and making new friendships in the Deaf community.
So Mindyk take care and be safe out there.
 

Bobby624

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Deaf & Hearing relationships usually did not go well.
Hi authentic, how are you and happy now yeat to you too, well why would you say such a thing. It takes a very special person to be with a Deaf / HOH person and like all relationship's whether two people or a business relationship everything takes work sacrifices is everything if you want it to be.
Remember it's all about Love, compassion, dedication, respect and truthfulness, there's all sides to life and to being optimistic without we have nothing especially in today's society.
Always bobby
 

authentic

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Hi authentic, how are you and happy now yeat to you too, well why would you say such a thing. It takes a very special person to be with a Deaf / HOH person and like all relationship's whether two people or a business relationship everything takes work sacrifices is everything if you want it to be.
Remember it's all about Love, compassion, dedication, respect and truthfulness, there's all sides to life and to being optimistic without we have nothing especially in today's society.
Always bobby
Statistics says otherwise
 

Bobby624

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Statistics says otherwise
Hi Authentic it's Bobby624, so in other words you have no Soul, no Heart , no Compassion Logistics has no feelings it's just arithmetic "Numbers" Wow!!!! I didn't realize that real people could be sooo cold out there...,
 

saxxykitty78

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Deaf & Hearing relationships usually did not go well.
yep he is right I have been there with a hearing guy never really work out why? they just want to get laid not really want to communicate to show love and etc.. I am just tired of that bs lol. but I'm not looking on this site cuz I did on AOL years ago but I got bored when I was 27. now I'm 43 gonna be 44 this June, so I prefer meet people in person than talk online but good luck with your search bobby624. :)
 

Bobby624

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yep he is right I have been there with a hearing guy never really work out why? they just want to get laid not really want to communicate to show love and etc.. I am just tired of that bs lol. but I'm not looking on this site cuz I did on AOL years ago but I got bored when I was 27. now I'm 43 gonna be 44 this June, so I prefer meet people in person than talk online but good luck with your search bobby624. :)
Hi Saxxykitty78 happy New year to you and thanks for the comment, well I'm glad to hear that your an open minded person, today life is hard and complicated if you want it to be but at the same time it can be a wonderful experience. Yes today the dating world is somewhat complex but needless to say it still has it's old fashioned moral values, if your a person who was raised by old school standards but with progressive views then he / she shouldn't have to many issues in the dating world. Sometimes good hearted people need to check the right boxes and they'll fine there soulmate eventually. As in the Deaf / HOH community it's all about both your needs and wants while being diversified, progressively challenging. It's a lot at times or as simple as well.
Regards, and have a great evening.....
 

Presbyter

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Deaf & Hearing relationships usually did not go well.
more like narcissist and compassionate deaf don't go well or fight all the time.
here the key. narcissist lacks empathy. That explains it all. no empathy don't mix with empathy.
one is charming and one is loving. They fool you with charm like they love you.
 
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