Adjustment to late onset deafness

rachie

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I find it disgusting that your family encouraged you to hide your hearing loss. I have found that hearing people, well most hearing people, are a lot more tolerant when I tell them that I am hard of hearing rather than just going on pretending like I am NOT. I am. It's me. That's ok.

Some people get weirded out: they are idiots. I try not to let it get to me... and it is more rare than I thought it would be.

Embrace YOU. YOU HAVE HEARING LOSS.

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pinkgirl30

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thanks to both of you who have replied to this post. I am learning to accept myself and i am an excellent lip reader. I am learning (well continuing to learn) ASL hopefully accepting myself will help those around me not to be as judgmental.

I do not need to be so self conscious. I honestly do not mind asking people to look at me when they speak but sounding wired and people not being able understanding me makes me feel very insecure and I often just stop talking. I know it will not help and I know things could be much worse. I am so blessed with the opportunity to embrace this "new life" while I am young!
 

jg1876

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Hi all - fairly new to this forum. I'm seeing a lot of people choosing to go the ASL route rather than the CI route. I've worn a hearing aid for most of my life and did wonderfully with it - until this last loss which came close to bottoming out whatever hearing I had left. I have a great support network of friends and family, a terrific job with an understanding boss, etc. My issue is more dealing with the adjustment of the every day things that I was able to do two weeks ago with a hearing aid that I can no longer hear. I operate entirely in the hearing world, and have no desire to change that.

I'd be interested in hearing why people who were mainstreamed/in the hearing world chose to go the ASL/voice-off route. My experience has been yes, there are some dumb and ignorant people out there but it only takes a few extra seconds to educate someone about my needs before they get it and accommodate me accordingly. After reading this forum, it sounds like I have been very, very lucky.

Would appreciate any thoughts.
 

drphil

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It is an individual choice on how one will "live the balance of their life using ASL/voice off" VS determining if a Cochlear Implant is "suitable " for dealing with being deaf. Hopefully some hearing with the assistance of a Cochlear Implant.

Presumably one visits an ENT doctor for determination.
 

KerBear

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Since I got my hearing aids, I was able to persuade two of my hoh relatives to get evaluated for hearing aids, and one of them began wearing them a few months ago; the other relative found out he had otosclerosis that could be corrected surgically, so he doesn't need hearing aids (but at least he hears better now because he got checked out!). Once they saw the difference hearing aids made for me, that sort of "broke the ice" and they realized they should see an audiologist, too.

Crickets;

I had a very similar experience with my FIL. I've only known him for 7 years, but for the first 5, I didn't really *know* him because he was significantly HOH and refused to acknowledge it, so he rarely conversed with those around him. What finally convinced him to get HAs was me getting one.

My husband's family and I all attended a funeral two years ago in late May. That was when I realized I needed to look into my own hearing issues, because I was having significant difficulty hearing the minister throughout the entire service, enough so that I finally just ended up tuning him out. As we were driving home, I told my husband that I could barely hear what was being said. He agreed that the minister's voice was soft, and the acoustics were awful, but he could still hear what was being said whereas I couldn't.
That was impetus enough for me to get my hearing checked.

A few days after the funeral, my MIL and I were talking and she was complaining about how frustrated she was with my FIL because he was so "fidgety" at the funeral. Having worked with many HOH and d/Deaf people over the years, it had always been clear to me that he was quite HOH, so I asked her: "Do you think he was fidgeting so much because he couldn't hear?" She went home and asked him. His answer? Yes... But he still wouldn't get his hearing checked.

When I finally got my HA a few months later and my FIL saw how discreet it was, he finally bit the bullet and got his hearing checked. Shortly after, he started wearing bilateral HAs, and now we can all converse with him again. Prior to that, I'd never actually been able to have a conversation with him because I'm a fairly quiet speaker (who is learning to speak louder!) and he just plain couldn't hear. Everyone in my husband's family is now very, very thankful that I got my hearing aid.

Now if only my mother would do the same...
 

horizon22

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My experience has been yes, there are some dumb and ignorant people out there but it only takes a few extra seconds to educate someone about my needs before they get it and accommodate me accordingly. After reading this forum, it sounds like I have been very, very lucky.

Would appreciate any thoughts.


That is so true. In fact, even openly admitting your hearing loss can help tremendously. The quicker we are in letting the other person about our situation, the better our communication experience with them. I have found people are willing to go the extra mile accomodating us so they can commnunicate effectively. Ofcourse, there are exceptions.

I had a late onset with partial loss, and one of the major challenges I have faced (and I still facing it) is the tendancy to respond without understanding the person. And, nodding when I don't fully understand what is being said, so as to avoid putting the other person in a situation of repeating it for me, or even writing it down. I just don't feel like having them repeat or make that extra effort.

Has anyone else experienced this feeling? How do you deal with it?
 

Songbird2319

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What is considered late deafened? I've had tinnitus for years and suddenly my ears started hurting and everything was muffled. So mild hearing loss right now I guess. Haven't been to ent yet; full story on introduce yourself thread. So... I forgot what I was asking...
 

dogmom

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:wave:everyone, I'm hoh....may have been born with minimal hearing loss that was missed, don't know. Actually became aware that I was hearing differently than I used to maybe about 5 years ago. I'm 40 and have had learning disabilities and auditory processing issues all my life <LD not diagnosed til college and auditory processing issues not formally diagnosed> so I've always been a VERY visual person and don't learn well aurally. My ASL sucks but I'm often more comfortable signing <trying> versus speech.

Technically I have mild HL <hearing loss> and ID as hoh. It makes sense in both hearing and Deaf world where I am. I have always been "not mainstream" and usually in a roomful of people am an "only-something" and am also very used to compensating for and explaining LD so telling people that I'm hoh is no big deal. Sometimes people are kind - and sometimes not.

I've found that I often say "what" in relation to something someone said, even if I -think - I got it, because..maybe I thought I had it, but didn't. Among other things I miss beginnings of spoken words and consonants.
I have trouble with multiple, oral directions <auditory processing> so sometimes I say "what?" because I <think> I heard all of it but I didn't process it, or I'm still "getting" the beginning and they've already finished.
Sometimes people talk facing away or as they're walking away with their back to me and I miss something there. Sometimes i just let this last thing go - especially if they're walking away because I just don't feel like trying to catch up and kinda re-start the conversation.

Other times I miss something and then they've finished talking and somewhere along the line my brain figured out what I'd missed and filled it in, after which I may or may not have lost the thread of the entirety of the sentence or conversation, but I'll have in my mind the portion that I missed.
At which point I decide if I want to delve back into it or not.
So for me, it varies greatly depending on who was saying it and what other things I needed to explain in that time frame or that day <something about my LD....the fact that I'm Jewish and so, no we're not doing anything on Christmas, etc....>

Songbird, as far as "late-deafened" I've read a few thing but someone who ID's as late deaf can come on and add in-
 

Songbird2319

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@dogmom I don't consider myself to be deaf yet, just hearing never gets better with age.. I kind of ran off into twelve different paths and forgot where I started from and decided to post the train wreck anyway. As of right now I consider myself mildly hard of hearing because I'm fine in a quiet room, but restaurants and parties and school is hard for me. I can feel my hearing going down; about a month ago I could usually follow along with little problems. Now it's harder. I don't imagine my hearing getting better as I get older. Well, naturally anyway. But I ain't a doctor, so who knows. 1
 

Bebonang

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@dogmom I don't consider myself to be deaf yet, just hearing never gets better with age.. I kind of ran off into twelve different paths and forgot where I started from and decided to post the train wreck anyway. As of right now I consider myself mildly hard of hearing because I'm fine in a quiet room, but restaurants and parties and school is hard for me. I can feel my hearing going down; about a month ago I could usually follow along with little problems. Now it's harder. I don't imagine my hearing getting better as I get older. Well, naturally anyway. But I ain't a doctor, so who knows. 1

No matter if you are in a quiet room or with crowds in public places with or without hearing aid(s), you are still consider "Hard Of Hearing" permanently for the rest of your life. That is the way it goes. You continue to feel that you are hearing which you are not. You have mild hearing loss which mean you can hear sounds which you can pick it up. So learn to live with being "Hard Of Hearing" (HOH).
 

C-NICE

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That is a good point, but it has been my experience sometimes that it is not me that can't handle being Hard Of Hearing. It's the rest of the world that can't handle it.
 

hoichi

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That is a good point, but it has been my experience sometimes that it is not me that can't handle being Hard Of Hearing. It's the rest of the world that can't handle it.

Audism runs very deep in the hearie bones......
 

Songbird2319

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No matter if you are in a quiet room or with crowds in public places with or without hearing aid(s), you are still consider "Hard Of Hearing" permanently for the rest of your life. That is the way it goes. You continue to feel that you are hearing which you are not. You have mild hearing loss which mean you can hear sounds which you can pick it up. So learn to live with being "Hard Of Hearing" (HOH).


Huh. Didn't think I was deaf enough to be hard of hearing. Okay. I can live with that. I guess. Wow. :shock:
 

Nic

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I was born hearing, but in my 20s my hearing started to decline. At 34 (2 years ago) I admitted to myself that I couldn't hear so well anymore and had my first audiologist appointment. My hearing loss then was mild in my left and moderate in my right, I still had full word recognition in my left, and 90% in my right. I'm 36 now (feel 26) and just had my second audiogram this week. My hearing loss in my right ear is now moderate-severe and I have no word recognition (what I can hear sounds distorted). My left is now down to 90% word recognition (where my right was 2 years ago).

My dad was diagnosed with Meniere's in his 20s. He had severe vertigo coupled with his hearing loss. It's been in the back of my mind my whole life that this can be a hereditary disease, but I never suffered from vertigo and my hearing loss doesn't come and go (at least I don't think it does).

The doctors told me they don't know the cause of my hearing loss. I don't have classic Meniere's symptoms and I had an MRI to rule out a tumor. My hearing loss is sensorineural. They told me a hearing aid won't help my right ear since amplification won't give me understanding back. For now my left ear does the job and I can keep up with conversation in quiet settings when concentrating; watching mouths also helps. If it's noisy, or someone is soft-spoken, I struggle.

Prior to this recent visit with the audiologist, I figured that hearing aids would be able to rescue my hearing and give me back understanding of conversations when/if it got worse. But now I have concerns that my left ear will fail me like my right has and I'll lose the ability to converse with spoken words. It took less than 2 years for my right to go from 90% word recognition to 0.

I'm not great at navigating the doctor scene. I feel like they haven't really given me much insight. I don't know what sort of questions to ask to get some understanding of what options are available to me, to find out what I should do next, or to find out what is the likelihood of losing my ability to communicate verbally.

Since Monday (when I had my audiogram) I've been obsessively reading to figure out what I can/should be doing and where I fit in. I'm not sure what to call my hearing loss. I think HOH fits, and I think it's appropriate to say I'm deaf in my right ear now? It's weird, I've never been one for labels, but right now I feel like I want a label.

I'm about to start telling folks around me that I'm HOH and help them better communicate with me. I've already been positioning people on my left (good ear), avoiding conversation in noisy settings, and watching mouths to fill in blanks. So far only my wife really knows the severity of my hearing loss and she's ultra supportive.

This is my first post here, I haven't created a thread in the introduce yourself forum (I'm not sure if I should?). I think right now my hope is to talk to someone/people who have had similar experiences. I feel a bit lost, but somehow not really afraid. I'm a logical person, so I think I've accepted this (and my potential further hearing loss) and I now want to learn what I should do next.
 

Alliescrimp

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My name is Allie, I am 16, and I am hard of hearing. I became deaf in my left ear a couple years ago and am now losing hearing in my right. I want to start learning sign because lip reading is really hard for me. I got on this thread so maybe I could get help learning sign. Thanks.
 

manga

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Hi! My name is Adriano, I'm trying to self teach myself ASL, just fell in love with this fascinating language, and I would like to learn more signs and practice it, anyone interested please send me a msg me through here or add me on Skype! Mangacapoeira ( that's my skype name)



Thank you!!! :)
 

rachie

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Hi! My name is Adriano, I'm trying to self teach myself ASL, just fell in love with this fascinating language, and I would like to learn more signs and practice it, anyone interested please send me a msg me through here or add me on Skype! Mangacapoeira ( that's my skype name)



Thank you!!! :)

Manga,
Are you adjusting to late onset deafness?

Sent from my SCH-I545 using AllDeaf App mobile app
 

zephren

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Deaf in MA

I posted my introduction but I thought it would be appropriate to post expanded info under this section since I didn't start becoming deaf until I was 19.

I read all of the posting in the thread from the beginning. I found it very therapeutic to connect with others with similar experiences.

I was married recently. When I met my then girlfriend a few years ago I was still hard of hearing but she knew it was progressive. She has been learning ASL. She has some learning challenges that make it a very slow process for her. We can communicate simple items but she is not yet at a point that we can hold a lengthy ASL conversation yet she is improving. She attends deaf events with me and does what she can which is nice. It is interesting that even though I was not born deaf, she has noted that ASL has become my first language - I think in sign.

As my hearing has declined significantly over the past year, I can see her getting more frustrated in our oral conversations. I need most things said multiple times and often not aware of her talking at all. For the past couple of years I have noticed others have more trouble understanding my speech and I have to concentration more to articulate words clearly and add volume. Now, I am more likely to point to items on a menu or write what I want since too often the order is wrong when I try to speak it.

So even though I have said all along my oral ability may not last much longer, I think it is just now sinking in with her that ASL may be my only means of communication very soon. So...she is starting another ASL class next week. Yay!

- Michael
 

BecLak

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Hi all - fairly new to this forum. I'm seeing a lot of people choosing to go the ASL route rather than the CI route. I've worn a hearing aid for most of my life and did wonderfully with it - until this last loss which came close to bottoming out whatever hearing I had left. I have a great support network of friends and family, a terrific job with an understanding boss, etc. My issue is more dealing with the adjustment of the every day things that I was able to do two weeks ago with a hearing aid that I can no longer hear. I operate entirely in the hearing world, and have no desire to change that.

I'd be interested in hearing why people who were mainstreamed/in the hearing world chose to go the ASL/voice-off route. My experience has been yes, there are some dumb and ignorant people out there but it only takes a few extra seconds to educate someone about my needs before they get it and accommodate me accordingly. After reading this forum, it sounds like I have been very, very lucky.

Would appreciate any thoughts.

The use of Sign Language and going voice off eliminates the need to continually explain that you cannot hear day in day out to every person that you want to communicate with. Sign Language is visual and explains itself. Being oral (using your voice and your ability to speak) does the exact opposite. Even if you explain your situation, once you use your voice, others will forget everything you have just told them and will talk as if you are hearing. You can then forget about any accomodations for your sake, you are stuck doing all the hard work to maintain communication. You do have a choice. Go with what suits you best.
 

Thedeafzombie

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Hey! I am pretty new to things here, but I love the idea of this.

I grew up hearing, and had a very normal life. Then one day I woke up with no hearing at all. After a lot of doctor's visits, they told me that I was profoundly deaf and I would never hear again. I had taught myself to lip read before I went deaf, so that helps a bit, but it is a lot of guess work and headache. I took my Education Assistant and Hearing Assistant Certificates at Medicine Hat College. I prefer ASL, but unfortunately, no one in my area really knows ASL. People are fairly judgmental in my small town, but there are a few people that help me. Though most of my "friends" have told me that it is too hard on them for me to be deaf, I have a few great ones that are learning ASL with me. I'm thinking of getting a hearing dog, and have started the application.

I am taking Deaf Studies next year, and then will be taking the ASL Interpreter diploma... so hopefully some people want a deaf interpreter, or some deaf schools are hiring in 3 years.

Feeling pretty alone in my silent world, so I decided to join here and feel less alone lately. If anyone can give me advice, please do:)
 
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