Zero Support :(

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gidget6kids

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Today, my 7 yr old son had his MRI to rule out any tumors or such for his hearing loss (right ear profound deafness, adopted at age 4; brought home at 5 1/2).

After we were done with that lovely 4 hrs, we went to a grandparent's house. I had to work on her computer and Jude just wanted to hang out with Granny Sue. I was talking and signing to him and she said "he doesn't need to learn that mess, he can hear just fine." I mean, seriously....his other grandmother is the one who told us we would cripple him by getting him a hearing aid and teaching him sign and we needed to leave him alone because he could "hear just fine" out of his "good" ear.

What they don't know is that his genetics is unknown, he could get an ear infection....anything could happen. I just wish I had family support....he needs it.

Thanks for letting me vent.
 
My son is hearing, I am hard of hearing and my wife is profoundly deaf. My son is 4 weeks old as of today.

He is already signing (yes, he signs .. just not coherently ;) ). We plan to teach him ASL and of course, speech, and we do not consider it a "mess". You might need to politely, but very firmly, remind Granny that you are the parent. You are going to have so many people telling you how you should raise your child ... but .... you are the one raising your child, not your Granny.

If the polite, yet firm, point is not received with respect, then gather your things and stop "hanging out" until an apology is made.
 
:grouphug: Some people just are stuck in their ways. Venting always helps people. :) It looks like he has a pretty good family support system with you, and that's what really matters. :)
 
My hearing kids are fluent in ASL and they are doing fine in school. One is 16 years old and the other is 7 years old.

The "mess" helped them with literacy skills.
 
:hug:I've been dealing with similar comments from my family regarding my daughter. One person in my family is wishy-washy, one day they agree she does need to learn ASL and needs assistance and the next she doesn't need any of that she can talk.

I can't say I understand 100% as there are a few that get it in my family. I do know how it feels with that one person. I hope it gets better for you and continue doing what you are doing it makes a world of difference :)
 
Ah, support....who knew it could feel so good. Thank you for helping me along this journey. It is very new to us, but my son is learning new signs daily, asking me what signs are for certain words and he is excited about it. I'm blessed that his "good" ear is still good and I'm blessed that his "bad" doesn't change who he is....a wonderful little boy whom I love dearly and completely!
 
Im sorry. I still think you are a great mother to continue signing to your son, no matter what his hearing condition is like. I know heairng kids learn ASL and are doing FINE.

My two hearing kids knows ASL, and are doing fine in school.
 
You should tell your grandma that you do NOT want her to use the word 'mess' when it come to your child hearing or ASL . Your son could feel that there is something terribly wrong with him if he hear people talking that way about him. A child can take things like this very seriously and your son does need not anyone making fun of him when he is using ASL specially from a family member. Shame on grandma and everyone else.
 
Honestly, I never thought of it like that. That is an EXCELLENT point and one that I am certainly going to bring up. My mom (granny) was born deaf in her left ear because she was missing a little bone in her ear. She had a metal plate put in when she was in her 30s and can now hear fine. She should KNOW what it feels like to not hear like other people. Back then, people just "didn't do" ASL and hearing aids were the size of ear muffs and they were poor. I get how she "had" to adjust. My son doesn't have to adjust to society, there is a whole HOH/d community that will accept him and love him. ASL is seen as beauty and it is acceptable. Hearing aids have changed so much. He is a beautiful boy full of potential....hearing or deaf. The world is at his fingertips!

Thank you for your point of view!
 
awww I'm always here to support you on the that (I'm also profound in my left) *actually moderate/profound here ;) *
 
One granny is 67 (the one who had the hearing loss) and the other granny is 70. My dad (69) hasn't said much and neither has my mother in law (69). My oldest sister is excited to learn ASL and teach her grandchildren, but that is pretty much it.
 
I'm sorry :hug:
I'm going through that right now with my own family.
 
I'm deaf and have been teaching my hearing goddaughter (15 month old) some basic ASL. At lunch today, she signed "eat" and "drink" made my day. Your his mommy, you do what is best. He is going to be so grateful to you when he is older that he can communicate with people without always struggling to hear. Trying to hear all day is exhausting.
 
gidget6kids said:
One granny is 67 (the one who had the hearing loss) and the other granny is 70. My dad (69) hasn't said much and neither has my mother in law (69). My oldest sister is excited to learn ASL and teach her grandchildren, but that is pretty much it.
Click to expand...
They're all my generation. I'm 62. :)

I took my first ASL class in 1968 from a CODA who learned it from her parents. She introduced me to the founding members of the National Theater of the Deaf. I was very much in awe. :lol:

I hope the rest of your family becomes more supportive in time.
 
Well, these are the same family members who asked me "how black will he be" when we told them that we were adopting from Ethiopia LOL. They have certainly come around in that aspect and he is extremely loved....I guess they will, in time.
 
sorry for gravedigging, but this is reminds me of something i can connect with.

i really hope the relation with the grandmother has improved so that she understands the WONDERFUL benifit of learnign sign.
being another language which is PROVEN to improve intelligence and ability
and if she wants or anyone here need some ammunition. Fingerspell DOES IMPROVE english ablity. according to galludet

vl2.gallaudet.edu/assets/section7/document100.pdf
^fingerspell helps english
http://jdsde.oxfordjournals.org/content/2/1/37.full.pdf
^ asl improves english ability,

i hope she had a change of heart. and if anyone else stumbles upon this, maybe the two links might help give support by knowing you really ARE helping. and give ammunition to the comment its a mess that will hurt them. <(PURE BS)
 
gidget6kids said:
Honestly, I never thought of it like that. That is an EXCELLENT point and one that I am certainly going to bring up. My mom (granny) was born deaf in her left ear because she was missing a little bone in her ear. She had a metal plate put in when she was in her 30s and can now hear fine. She should KNOW what it feels like to not hear like other people. Back then, people just "didn't do" ASL and hearing aids were the size of ear muffs and they were poor. I get how she "had" to adjust. My son doesn't have to adjust to society, there is a whole HOH/d community that will accept him and love him. ASL is seen as beauty and it is acceptable. Hearing aids have changed so much. He is a beautiful boy full of potential....hearing or deaf. The world is at his fingertips!

Thank you for your point of view!
Click to expand...

I think its WONDERFUL that you're giving your son a full toolbox....It's kinda unusual for a unilateral HOH kid to learn ASL.....but then again he'll be able to function in noisy siutuions.....and of course if anything happens to his other ear,he'll be all set!
 


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