You Might Be a Redneck If.......

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PePe LePew

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Redneckin' Lives

It's a real recipe, heeh!

Cat Poop Cookies

Ingredients

"This recipe sounds a little different, but is really good. It is also a cute cookie to serve at Halloween." Original recipe yield: 2 dozen.

1/2 cup honey
2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup butter
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup wheat and barley nugget cereal (eg. Grapenuts TM)
Procedure

Microwave honey on high until bubbly (about 1 minute). Stir in the margarine. Add the egg and mix well. Stir in the flour, cocoa and vanilla. Mix well and chill dough for several hours in the refrigerator.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Roll chunks of the chilled dough into cylindrical shapes in order to resemble cat poop. Roll cookies in cereal and place on ungreased baking sheet.
Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 10 to 15 minutes. Serve cookies in a new litter box on a bed of malted barley cereal. Use a new litter scoop to remove cookies.
Serving Information

Serves: 12
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
___________________________________

Armadillo Meat Balls
Ingredients

1 lb cooked armadillo meat, ground
~ 1 egg
~ 2 tbsp minced celery
~ 2 tbsp minced onion
~ 1 tbsp minced parsley
~ 1 tsp salt
~1/2 tsp pepper
~ flour
~ oil
Procedure

In a bowl, mix together the meat, egg, celery, onion, parsley, salt and pepper.

Form into 1 inch balls and refrigerate for 1 hour.

In a skillet, heat 3/4 inch of oil.

Roll the meat balls in the flour.

Fry the meat balls until brown.

Serve and Enjoy!
Serving Information

Serves: 1
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
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Barbecued Raccoon
Ingredients


1 Raccoon
1 bn Celery
3 cl Garlic; chopped
2 lg Red onions; quartered
1 lg Apple; quartered
3 Hot red peppers
1 c Vinegar
3 tb Salt
Procedure

BE SURE LYMPH GLANDS OF RACCOON ARE REMOVED!!!

Have someone who is experienced remove the glands as well as the skin. Pull celery apart and wash. Place all ingredients in pot with enough water to cover raccoon. Bring to slow boil and cook until tender or until fork goes in easily, about 1-2 hours depending upon size of raccoon. Remove meat from pot, cut off front and back legs; cut remainder into four pieces. Place on rack, brush with your favorite barbecue sauce. Place in 400 deg. oven; turn and baste frequently with barbecue sauce until a golden brown, 45 minutes to 1 hour.
Serving Information

Serves: 8
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
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Beef Stew
Ingredients

1 can of beef stew or more 1 jar of dill pickels cut up pickels put in beefstew
Procedure

let cook 30mins and injoy
Serving Information

Serves: 1
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
___________________________________

Beer Roasted Cat
Ingredients

1 cat cut into roast
1 can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup
1 cube of beef bouillon
1 clove of garlic
1 Fine Irish Stout, like Guinness
Procedure

Ya gotta figure out the rest!
Serving Information

Serves: 1
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
___________________________________

Cat Stew
Ingredients

2 lb Lean Cat Meat (look for an extra lean cut)

1 Tbsp Olive Oil

1 Large Onion, Chopped

4 Medium Carrots, Sliced

2 Medium Potatoes, Cut Into Pieces

2 Medium Celery Stalks, Sliced

2 cups Small Mushrooms

1 tsp Dried Thyme

1 tsp Ground Mustard

1 cup Water

1 cup Dry Red Wine

1 (16 ounce) can No-Salt Added Stewed Tomatoes

3 Tbsp All-Purpose Flour

Procedure

Trim all excess fat from the cat and cut into cubes. Heat olive oil in a large soup pot over medium-high heat until hot. Add cat and quickly brown on all sides. Add remaining ingredients except flour, salt and pepper to taste and reduce heat to simmer. Simmer approximately 1 hour or until cat is cooked and vegetables are tender.

Serving Information

Serves: 1
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
___________________________________

County Fair Corn Dogs
Ingredients

"Hear ye, hear ye! Here's something to bring back memories of the county fair. Use 10 wooden skewers for the franks, and dip away!" Original recipe yield: 10 servings.

10 beef frankfurters
1/2 cup all-purpose flour for dusting
2/3 cup cornmeal
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons corn flour (optional)
1 teaspoon salt
1 pinch ground cayenne pepper
1 egg
2 tablespoons corn oil
1/2 cup water
1 quart vegetable oil for frying
Procedure

Insert skewers into frankfurters and dust with flour; set aside.
To Make Batter: In a large bowl combine the cornmeal, 1/3 cup flour, corn flour, salt, cayenne pepper, egg, 2 tablespoons oil and water. Whisk all together.
Heat 1 quart oil in a large skillet over high heat (to about 375 degrees F, 190 degrees C). Roll or dip franks in batter, then fry until lightly browned. Drain on paper toweling and serve.
Serving Information

Serves: 10
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
___________________________________

Fried Rabbit
Ingredients

1 rabbit
garlic to taste
1 hot pepper

Procedure

Clean and cut rabbit into pieces. Boil in water with pepper and garlic. After boiling rabbit drain. Dip rabbit into beaten egg. Roll in flour and deep fry. Taste like chicken.
Serving Information

Serves: 1
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
___________________________________

Manifold Stew
Ingredients

"This is a feast to have on the road with friends! Great for road trips! Be sure not to put the Dutch oven close to the spark plugs."

2 squirrels - skinned, gutted, and cut into pieces
4 potatoes, peeled and diced
1 yellow onion, chopped
3 carrots, sliced
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 (14 ounce) can chicken broth
4 cups water
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 teaspoons paprika
2 teaspoons rubbed sage
2 teaspoons dried rosemary, crushed
Procedure

Preheat car for at the amount of time it takes to prepare vegetables, about 20 minutes.
Place squirrel, potatoes, onion, carrots and garlic into a medium sized dutch oven with a lid. Pour in the can of chicken broth and water. Stir in the salt, pepper, paprika, sage and rosemary. Place pot between the fender skirt and manifold. Be sure to place the lid on the pot.
Drive at least 60 mph (95 kmph) for 4 to 5 hours or until squirrel is tender.
Serving Information

Serves: 6
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
___________________________________

Possum and Taters
Ingredients

1 young, fat possum
8 sweet potatoes
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon sugar
salt

Procedure

Directions: First, catch a possum. This in itself is excellent entertainment on a moonlight night. Skin the possum and remove the head and feet. Be sure to wash it thoroughly. Freeze overnight either outside or in a refrigerator.
When ready to cook, peel the potatoes and boil them tender in lightly salted water along with the butter and sugar. At the same time, stew the possum tender in a tightly covered pan with a little water. Arrange the taters around the possum, strip with bacon, sprinkle with thyme or marjoram, or pepper, and brown in the oven. Baste often with the drippings.

Serving Information

Serves: 3
Fat: 3.0 g
Calories: 3
___________________________________

Possum Creole
Ingredients

1 slightly injured possum
1 cup mayonnaise
8 cups pig fat
2 cups buttermilk
2 fresh green peppers
Procedure

Slice green peppers and mix ingredients in a large bowl(exclude possum). Cut possum into chunks or thin strips. Mix possum chunks into bowl. Transfer contents of bowl into a casserole dich and bake under 350 degrees for two hours. Remove from oven, let sit for half an hour, and serve. ENJOY!!
Serving Information

Serves: 1
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
_______________________________________

Possum Pot Pie
Ingredients

1 cup glazed huckleberries
3 shots gin or moonshine
1 possum
---if roadkill: make jambalaya
---if caught: proceed with recipe
1 pie crust
sliced carrots & cabbage to taste
Procedure

Cover a pan (or any implement you can put in a fire) with the bottom of your pie crust, and place the possum in it. Add the huckleberries and carrots, and shred the cabbage over it. Close up the pie and bake until the neighbors' dogs come sniffing around to see what the wonderful smell is, or until the fire department arrives (whichever comes first). Remove pie from fire/oven, slice, and enjoy.
Serving Information

Serves: 2
Fat: 2.0 g
Calories: 2
_______________________________________

Redneck Christmas Cookies
Ingredients

1 cup of water

lemon juice

1 tsp baking soda

4 large eggs

1 cup of sugar

1 cup nuts

1 tsp salt

2 cups of dried fruit

1 cup of brown sugar

1 bottle Jack Daniel's Whiskey

Procedure

Sample the Jack Daniel's to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Jack Daniel's again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Jack Daniel's is still OK, try another cup ...just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Jack Daniel's to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jack Daniel's. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the! w! indow, finish the Dack
Janiels and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Serving Information

Serves: 1
Fat: g
Calories: 11
_______________________________________

Roasted Canadian Beaver
Ingredients

One 25 to 30 lb beaver (save the tail for beaver-tail soup)
Two cups flour
One cup maple bacon drippings
Salt and pepper to taste
3 or 4 bay leaves
3 or 4 medium onions, chopped.
Procedure

First, scoop up a beaver. If its been floating for awhile, sniff it; make sure it's not rotted yet. Skin it and take it the skin your local trading post. It's as good as cash.
After skinning the beaver, remove all fat. Cut into serving size pieces. Soak in salted water overnight. Rinse meat well in cold water and drain. Roll meat in flour. Brown in skillet with bacon drippings and season with salt and pepper.
Place in roaster alternately with bay leaves and onions. Add a small amount of water to remaining drippings in skillet and pour over meat. Roast at 350 degrees for 2 and one half hours or until tender. Uncover and brown 15 minutes before serving.
Serving Information

Serves: 1
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
_______________________________________

Slow Cooked Squirrel

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ingredients

"This stew recipe is for those of us who are hunters and are more of the country ilk. It is easy that you can go to work while it simmers in your pot and when you return home, dinner is ready."

2 squirrels - skinned, gutted, and cut into pieces
4 large potatoes, quartered
1 pound carrots, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
4 onions, sliced
2 cups water
1/4 medium head cabbage
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
Procedure

In a slow cooker, place the squirrel meat, potatoes, carrots, green bell pepper, onions, water, cabbage, salt and ground black pepper.
Cover and cook on low setting for 8 hours
Serving Information

Serves: 6
Fat: 1.0 g
Calories: 1
 
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