The Heretic
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How can I ever hope to explain a very private and personal and moreover, terribly subjective feeling, when it is little more than a brainfart of chemicals, and especially, all I have is my own experiences, and any attempt to empathize with another's feelings are still filtered through my own perceptive, my own perception? A small hope that someone can understand (even if it is by second hand, distorted by language and its superficial meanings) is to invent a dialectic, an explanation why the need to reciprocate is raw and felt so deeply, why an act of revenge takes place. Then, hopefully the reader can see why a vengeful person does what he/she does, why they said what they said.
The relationship between the intense passions of love and hate is far more complex than the simplistic duality of black and white/presence and absence/positive and negative/good and bad. Basically, hate is the necessary condition of love just as much oxygen is the necessary condition for the continued existence of animals. It also applies to revenge, where love is the necessary condition for the passion of revenge. Then, it follows that revenge is the consequence of love.
Chemically speaking, love is a brainfart: neuropeptides are released and floods the amgdalya, which leads to a tangible surge of the sensation of one's wellbeing (chemical euphoria).
If hate is the preexisting condition for love, then revenge is the ultimate expression of love, for it also implies the hate that created the initial circumstances, and this works as well forwards as backwards. In the soap opera context this swinging pendulum between the extremes is called "romance."
However, revenge is quite interesting, for it is the final resolution, the death-knell of the original passions. Then the best way to express "I love you" is to take revenge. When someone is in a vengeful mood, that implies the antecedent passions of love and hate. A person taking revenge is in essence admitting that another has affected his/her very life so deeply and so profoundly that he/she must return the provoking emotion, redirect it, reciprocate and retaliate, even if it is a mere futile effort to inflict some sort of cheap suffering, perhaps the same sort that has branded the vengeful person in the first place. "Since you have branded me, I must brand you as well, for we are chattel stuck in the same pen of resentment."
That is the very formula of the desire of the vengeful. It is practically indistinguishable from lust: one desires to possess the other in order to show what has happened to him/her: to reveal the burn marks of the brand of love and hate in both members of the relationship. The acts of love, hate, despair and revenge are demonstrations how much emotion and passion are felt or experienced. To take revenge is to show how much hatred there is, and to show how much love was inflicted in order to emphasize its debilitating effects, to prove everyone it was real, and it is to prove the hatred for what both were like before they were "in love" or could have been, or have changed since then.
Conclusion: revenge is the most dramatic, the most effective and the greatest form of passion. The revengeful completely surrenders to the other he/she him/herself may still hope to show love to; yet they are trapped by the requirement to also show hatred - but not as they were or are, but for what they are not, and never could be. The sole reason to love another is to have an emotion that looks beyond what the other is not and see what they can be.
Nobody ever truly loves another for who or what they are. What a person can be is always beyond what they already are. Therefore, there is no love - only hate and revenge. The rest is merely a commercial break between the two episodes, a day's work between the sunrise and the sunset of passions all people show each other, futilely, always in the attempt to arrest the flux of life, and freeze the subjective and temporal nature of existence.
Hence, we delude ourselves with such fetid and rather insipid notions like "Eternal bliss under God" and listen to songs preaching rhetoric of some universal emotion or such promises of fairy tales romance will be experienced "happily ever after."
The relationship between the intense passions of love and hate is far more complex than the simplistic duality of black and white/presence and absence/positive and negative/good and bad. Basically, hate is the necessary condition of love just as much oxygen is the necessary condition for the continued existence of animals. It also applies to revenge, where love is the necessary condition for the passion of revenge. Then, it follows that revenge is the consequence of love.
Chemically speaking, love is a brainfart: neuropeptides are released and floods the amgdalya, which leads to a tangible surge of the sensation of one's wellbeing (chemical euphoria).
If hate is the preexisting condition for love, then revenge is the ultimate expression of love, for it also implies the hate that created the initial circumstances, and this works as well forwards as backwards. In the soap opera context this swinging pendulum between the extremes is called "romance."
However, revenge is quite interesting, for it is the final resolution, the death-knell of the original passions. Then the best way to express "I love you" is to take revenge. When someone is in a vengeful mood, that implies the antecedent passions of love and hate. A person taking revenge is in essence admitting that another has affected his/her very life so deeply and so profoundly that he/she must return the provoking emotion, redirect it, reciprocate and retaliate, even if it is a mere futile effort to inflict some sort of cheap suffering, perhaps the same sort that has branded the vengeful person in the first place. "Since you have branded me, I must brand you as well, for we are chattel stuck in the same pen of resentment."
That is the very formula of the desire of the vengeful. It is practically indistinguishable from lust: one desires to possess the other in order to show what has happened to him/her: to reveal the burn marks of the brand of love and hate in both members of the relationship. The acts of love, hate, despair and revenge are demonstrations how much emotion and passion are felt or experienced. To take revenge is to show how much hatred there is, and to show how much love was inflicted in order to emphasize its debilitating effects, to prove everyone it was real, and it is to prove the hatred for what both were like before they were "in love" or could have been, or have changed since then.
Conclusion: revenge is the most dramatic, the most effective and the greatest form of passion. The revengeful completely surrenders to the other he/she him/herself may still hope to show love to; yet they are trapped by the requirement to also show hatred - but not as they were or are, but for what they are not, and never could be. The sole reason to love another is to have an emotion that looks beyond what the other is not and see what they can be.
Nobody ever truly loves another for who or what they are. What a person can be is always beyond what they already are. Therefore, there is no love - only hate and revenge. The rest is merely a commercial break between the two episodes, a day's work between the sunrise and the sunset of passions all people show each other, futilely, always in the attempt to arrest the flux of life, and freeze the subjective and temporal nature of existence.
Hence, we delude ourselves with such fetid and rather insipid notions like "Eternal bliss under God" and listen to songs preaching rhetoric of some universal emotion or such promises of fairy tales romance will be experienced "happily ever after."