What to do when trying to make a Deaf friend

[ember]

You don't have to change your perspective, but you do have to respect and accomodate theirs.

The comments about you being a hearie and the reasons for being here are the direct result of previous experience. If a dog bites you once, you will be cautious in petting that dog again, unless it has been muzzled.

See and there is where we will agree to disagree I don't agree that I have to accommodate it if my perspective is one way and theres is another, neither is right and neither is wrong so I will respect anyones feelings but that doesn't mean I have to make special accomodations.

As for the dog reference, I am not the dog who bit anyone so being that I am my own person I should have my own individual opportunity to be who I am and judged from my own actions not those who proceeded me. So I back away I won't be muzzled.

 

[jillio]

See and there is where we will agree to disagree I don't agree that I have to accommodate it if my perspective is one way and theres is another, neither is right and neither is wrong so I will respect anyones feelings but that doesn't mean I have to make special accomodations.

As for the dog reference, I am not the dog who bit anyone so being that I am my own person I should have my own individual opportunity to be who I am and judged from my own actions not those who proceeded me. So I back away I won't be muzzled.

Well, you don't have to make accommodations for another's perspective, but you will continue to have difficulties in making friends of different culture without it.

Generalization happens with bad experiences. We all have to prove ourselves. You are no different. It isn't personal. It is the result of past experience. Perfectly understandable.

 

[ember]

Well, you don't have to make accommodations for another's perspective, but you will continue to have difficulties in making friends of different culture without it.

Generalization happens with bad experiences. We all have to prove ourselves. You are no different. It isn't personal. It is the result of past experience. Perfectly understandable.

I don't think believe I have trouble making friends without making accommodations with other cultures, I have friends that come from a wide arrange of cultures, but I do believe that like anything else with some people you are friends and others you are not I am ok with that. Which is why I said I back off or take another point of view. I have conversations here that I enjoy but the relationships that I form or will form with others will be with people who can except me as I am and I so with them without anyone making accommodations because there is something to be said when two people can have a different point of view from one another, except and respect that and it doesn't effect or change the relationship between them. I know this all too well I share it with many and they are all of different cultures.

I never said I didn't understand why the feelings that are felt towards me are there I do understand that. But for anyone that I am in a friendship with we must begin that friendship on even ground, I am not asking for anything to be proven to me, so I ask that I should not have to prove anything in return because I have done no wrong. It maybe a long slow road but thats ok I am embracing myself in this new world for the remainder of my journey in life, I understand and value patience.

 

[Dixie]

Are we having a therapy session?

 

[BecLak]

Are we having a therapy session?

 

[jillio]

I don't think believe I have trouble making friends without making accommodations with other cultures, I have friends that come from a wide arrange of cultures, but I do believe that like anything else with some people you are friends and others you are not I am ok with that. Which is why I said I back off or take another point of view. I have conversations here that I enjoy but the relationships that I form or will form with others will be with people who can except me as I am and I so with them without anyone making accommodations because there is something to be said when two people can have a different point of view from one another, except and respect that and it doesn't effect or change the relationship between them. I know this all too well I share it with many and they are all of different cultures.

I never said I didn't understand why the feelings that are felt towards me are there I do understand that. But for anyone that I am in a friendship with we must begin that friendship on even ground, I am not asking for anything to be proven to me, so I ask that I should not have to prove anything in return because I have done no wrong. It maybe a long slow road but thats ok I am embracing myself in this new world for the remainder of my journey in life, I understand and value patience.

If you are truly accepting them as they are, you are making accommodations to their cultural perspective.

 

[jillio]

Are we having a therapy session?

No. We are attempting to ease a hearing person's journey into Deaf Culture. I would prefer to do that rather than have her become frustrated and leave with a bad taste in her mouth about deaf people and their world.

 

[ember]

If you are truly accepting them as they are, you are making accommodations to their cultural perspective.

If this is the case then the accommodations are being made on both sides not just mine or maybe we are unclear on just exactly what accommodations are to being made.

 

[jillio]

If this is the case then the accommodations are being made on both sides not just mine or maybe we are unclear on just exactly what accommodations are to being made.

Yes, accommodations are made on both sides anytime a friendship of a genuine nature develops between people of different cultures. It is a mutual understanding.

I consider understanding the cultural differences and allowing the individual to be who they are without judging them from our own postion and standards is accommdation. It is accommodating their view.

 

[ember]

Yes, accommodations are made on both sides anytime a friendship of a genuine nature develops between people of different cultures. It is a mutual understanding.

I consider understanding the cultural differences and allowing the individual to be who they are without judging them from our own postion and standards is accommdation. It is accommodating their view.

I agree and that is the start of a healthy relationship, unlike the one you described above when one had to prove something to the other.

 

[ashezz]

It would work for me if you just approach slowly holding out a Fifth Ave. candy bar on an open palm, while smiling reassuringly. If coincidentally you had a Lime Crush soda in the other hand, I would be quite receptive to friendship.

Breaks the ice! :P

Botti you always make me smile! I will definitely try that...only instead of a Fifth Ave I will hold a Snickers bar and instead of the Lime crush I will hold a Coke...only because they don't sell those things in my country :P

 

[Bottesini]

Botti you always make me smile! I will definitely try that...only instead of a Fifth Ave I will hold a Snickers bar and instead of the Lime crush I will hold a Coke...only because they don't sell those things in my country :P

Your lucky day! Those would have been my second choice.