What are some good one-liners or humor to use when mentioning my hearing issues?

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skunker

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Hi all,
I'm HoH, so when I tell people that I am heard of hearing, I like to add some humor to it to show that I'm confident with my "disability".

Anyone have any good witty one-liners or jokes that they use to ease the topic of discussion?
 
drphil said:
Can you use: gee I can hear you-so far!
Click to expand...

I can try...any others? Really, a good one-liner about my disability works wonders and sets the mood for the rest of the conversation. Personally, I love people that poke fun at their handicaps or whatever shortcomings they may have in life.
 
"Learn from my experience: Don't listen to chirping birds." ;) (Suggesting that chirping birds caused your hearing loss... the danger with this is, some people will actually believe you! lol

I was born with hearing loss, so this line is extra funny to me.
 
"I've got this ear-infuction along with a terrible migrating headache....can't hear you....can you hear me?"
 
I just say to people when I am explaining my CI that I have "selective hearing." I also have a shirt that says that "I Cannot Hear Over The Sound Of How Epic I Am."
 
When I have a hearing person that is attempting to sign to me and they say, "I'm sorry my sign sucks," I reply "it's ok. I'm sorry my hearing sucks."

One time in a bar, a hearing guy saw me texting on my phone and said, "ohh wait. So since you're like, deaf, you can't hear or talk on the phone can you?" I don't know if he was just ignorant or being rude but I said back, "well...I guess I don't need to worry about idiots in bars asking for my number, then." It took him a sec to realize he was the idiot I was talking about
 
Deaf ferrets, deaf cats, and deaf dogs never tell anyone that they're deaf so why should we?? We can make it a top secret. You can decide if I'm deaf or not. Buyers beware!!!
 
please repeat ask them to do it several times then say what...then say read your lips first time but checking see how good i am at it
 
I hate it when I say "what" as in "repeat yourself", and people hear "what" as in "I don't understand, give me a really long explanation and continue talking really low because that is working so great." It's much easier when signing, I guess because you see from my expression that I'm lost.
 
I hate when people talk really slow, it makes it harder to read their mouths.
 
skunker said:
Hi all,
I'm HoH, so when I tell people that I am heard of hearing, I like to add some humor to it to show that I'm confident with my "disability".

Anyone have any good witty one-liners or jokes that they use to ease the topic of discussion?
Click to expand...

I just point to my HA and say I can't hear you. Or I will something say" I can see better than I can hear. " You could say "I have this banana in my ear and I think it keeping me from hearing!"
 
"For confirmation, clarity and mental understanding...repeat urself 3 times" :giggle:
 
I tell them it's not hearing aid, it's the new hand free satellite cell phone, talk anywhere anytime.
 
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