Using humor to break the ice

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RonJaxon

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In this post about informing people that you have to read lips that one way I do it is to use humor. Someone else commented that they aren't all that good at using humor in this way and as a professional entertainer I've been asked about this by other people as well. So I thought I'd start a discussion about this.

First let me tell you how this all began for me. You see, as a professional magician who interacts with spectators in my shows. I had to learn to deal with my deafness in ways that many people most likely won't have to worry about so much. For example I need my audience to be able to understand what I'm saying. My speech is for the most part understandable but I do slur sometimes. Especially when I'm performing. I'm sure you can imagine how it can make you nervous to be in front of a large audience and we tend to talk faster when we get nervous. So that was something I really had to work on when I first started.

Another thing I had to overcome is the fact that some people are just not comfortable about people with disabilities. Not all of them are mean or anything. Some people just don't know how to act. I'm sure you've all run into people like this. Some people actually freeze up if you tell them, "I'm deaf". As an entertainer that's the last thing I want them to do. It's very hard to entertain people when, for what ever reason, they aren't sure how to act around us. So humor is a great tool to get past that. If I can get them to laugh with me then they can't be uncomfortable with me.

One more reason I use humor is so my audience knows that I am deaf. They need to know this or they might mistake my not hearing them as ignorance or being "big headed".

I will tell you that sometimes what's funny to a hearing person won't always be funny to a deaf person. I've done shows for both hearing audiences and deaf audiences and different kinds of humor are needed for both. A deaf audience are more likely to laugh at deaf humor that they relate to. For instance I can say funny things about ASL, closed captioning, dealing with hearing people. This is because they can relate to what I'm saying. On the other hand hearing people will laugh at jokes about being deaf from an outside point of view. It's not because they relate to it. It's because they can only imagine what it must be like.

Let me give you a couple of examples.

For a deaf Audience
One time I performed for a deaf audience and told them I brought special speakers with me so I can use the microphone. I pulled a sheet of a speaker box and in the speaker was a hand that finger spelled.

For hearing audience
For hearing audiences I would make jokes that sort of make fun of myself. Not in a way that degrades myself or being deaf. But things thing about me or that I deal with. Here are a few examples:

-A card trick
Don't worry, I didn't see the card. I'm deaf (Smirk)

-Cell phones
I'd pick up someones cell phone and instead of putting it to my ear I put the speaker part to my eye as if I'm listening to the phone call with my eye. Then I tell them. "Oh, this isn't an eye-phone.... (iPhone).

-Every day talk
If someone asks my name I might say, "Ron, but call me anything you want. I can't hear you anyway".

- Adult Humor
"I just found out last night that my girlfriend/wife is a moaner (Means she's loud during sex). I had no idea. I wouldn't have know if the neighbors hadn't complained and called the police."

Here's another one...

"Last night my girlfriend and I where watching TV. She kissed me on my cheek and said she was going to bed. As she was walking away I told her, "Don't snore you kept me up all night last night". She's used to me joking about being deaf so she just told me to shut up and walked away. But then I said, "You talked in your sleep too". She asked me what she said in her sleep and I said, "How am I supposed to know. Your fingers where under the sheets".

So these kinds of things are funnier to hearing people then deaf people because there's no way they would have thought of these things.

So if you're ever in a situation where you need or wish someone could just get passed the tension they might feel because they've never experienced communicating with a deaf person and seem a little nervous about it. A little humor on the subject can be a big help in getting past that.

Ron Jaxon
 
:gpost: I used to think that laughter was just to keep from crying and used to cover up the misery and pathos within oneself, but it is so much more. It takes a special courage to be a comedian since you expose your inner soul on stage, but it is the sharing that makes us all human in the sharing. I used to do open mike nights and once won first place, and I miss those heady days. I spoke with Kathy Buckley (the Deaf comedienne) and she makes me feel so humble. My hat's off to her, and to you as well, Ron. Keep it up, we need more Deaf entertainers!
 
I think it's great to start a humor to break the ice.

You know, If you're laughing at yourself, it shows that you are able to take it in stride and not to take anything personally which is good. I mean, There's nothing bad out of this if you know you can laugh at yourself and to laugh with others too.

If you can't laugh at yourself, then there's something wrong with the picture here. In no way, that is not meant to be offensive but let's say in another word, by laughing at yourself, you are accepting yourself as a whole person and not for other's sake.

So, I say, Kudos to you, Ron! :)
 
RonJaxon said:
"Last night my girlfriend and I where watching TV. She kissed me on my cheek and said she was going to bed. As she was walking away I told her, "Don't snore you kept me up all night last night". She's used to me joking about being deaf so she just told me to shut up and walked away. But then I said, "You talked in your sleep too". She asked me what she said in her sleep and I said, "How am I supposed to know. Your fingers where under the sheets".
Click to expand...

Using humor is a great idea! I absolutely LOVED the last example, especially the "your fingers were under the sheet" !!! :D
 
I'm glad you like it. I'll share some more. I'd love to read any you might know too.

Let me share a little something about my life. I grew up with brother in a wheel chair, a cousin who is blind and my Aunt always had foster kids that where mentally "different" (Usually down syndrome). My brother and cousin always makes jokes about their difference.

My brother in a wheel chair would say things like, "Don't make me get up" or while at a stop light or stopped by a train he'd say, "Forget it, I'll get out and walk". One of the funniest things I've ever seen him do was at the mall. We where in the "eatery" section where all the food places are. This guy was string at him. My brother rolled up to him and put his face right in the other guys face. I mean his nose was almost touching the guys nose. And my brother says very loudly, "YOU GOT AN EYE BALL PROBLEM OR SOMETHING?" I was laughing so hard I was crying when he did that because the guy looked so shocked. :)

My blind cousin would say things like, "Ron, Move I can't see the TV." or "Ron, stop picking your nose". :)

One of the down syndrome foster kids at my Aunts would blurt out, "UP SYNDROME!" anytime he heard someone say down syndrome.

I just thought I'd share those things and maybe it help inspire you to be able to use humor for your situation.

Keep in mind that even though there are jerks out there. Not everyone that gets uncomfortable is being a jerk about it. Some are very nice people who are just not educated and the sad fact is not many are when it comes to deafness. Things are improving but we've still got a long way to go. What better way to educate people about it then to make them relax around us. Once they can relax their education on the matter can begin. Their first lesson that it's possible to relax and enjoy our company. Then they are open to ask questions and because you shared some humor about it they are less likely to be afraid to ask those questions.

I've done shows for elementary and middle school classes that are learning about ASL and/or deaf culture. First of all I think it's great that some schools actually teach this. So I go there and do a show for the kids. I make any kid that comes up and helps me with a trick finger spell their name. Then after the show I allow them to ask questions. Once we get passed the "How did you do that" questions they can ask come very good ones. For example they ask if I can drive and if I can what do I do if someone else in the car is talking to me. That's a great question coming from a little kid and if I hadn't won them over to so speak with my show then they most likely wouldn't have felt comfortable asking me about it.

Q - When did you become deaf?
A - The day I got married. :)

Them - What's it like to be deaf?
Me -What was that?
Them - I said what is it like to be deaf?
Me - I'm sorry I didn't catch that. One more time?
Them - I SAID WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE DEAF?
Me - Kind of annoying isn't it.. :)

Q - Where you born deaf?
A - I don't know I wasn't paying attention that day.

Sometimes in my shows I teach the audience how to applaud like deaf people do (Wave fingers in the air). After they applaud like that after a trick I tell them about the time I walked into a bar and everyone stood up "deaf applauding". I thought it was great and was getting ready to sign autographs. That is until the guy next to me bumped me with his elbow and said, "PUT YOUR HANDS UP YOU IDIOT. WE'RE BEING ROBBED!!!" :-o

Ron Jaxon
 
RonJaxon said:
I'm glad you like it. I'll share some more. I'd love to read any you might know too.

Let me share a little something about my life. I grew up with brother in a wheel chair, a cousin who is blind and my Aunt always had foster kids that where mentally "different" (Usually down syndrome). My brother and cousin always makes jokes about their difference.

My brother in a wheel chair would say things like, "Don't make me get up" or while at a stop light or stopped by a train he'd say, "Forget it, I'll get out and walk". One of the funniest things I've ever seen him do was at the mall. We where in the "eatery" section where all the food places are. This guy was string at him. My brother rolled up to him and put his face right in the other guys face. I mean his nose was almost touching the guys nose. And my brother says very loudly, "YOU GOT AN EYE BALL PROBLEM OR SOMETHING?" I was laughing so hard I was crying when he did that because the guy looked so shocked. :)

My blind cousin would say things like, "Ron, Move I can't see the TV." or "Ron, stop picking your nose". :)

One of the down syndrome foster kids at my Aunts would blurt out, "UP SYNDROME!" anytime he heard someone say down syndrome.

I just thought I'd share those things and maybe it help inspire you to be able to use humor for your situation.

Keep in mind that even though there are jerks out there. Not everyone that gets uncomfortable is being a jerk about it. Some are very nice people who are just not educated and the sad fact is not many are when it comes to deafness. Things are improving but we've still got a long way to go. What better way to educate people about it then to make them relax around us. Once they can relax their education on the matter can begin. Their first lesson that it's possible to relax and enjoy our company. Then they are open to ask questions and because you shared some humor about it they are less likely to be afraid to ask those questions.

I've done shows for elementary and middle school classes that are learning about ASL and/or deaf culture. First of all I think it's great that some schools actually teach this. So I go there and do a show for the kids. I make any kid that comes up and helps me with a trick finger spell their name. Then after the show I allow them to ask questions. Once we get passed the "How did you do that" questions they can ask come very good ones. For example they ask if I can drive and if I can what do I do if someone else in the car is talking to me. That's a great question coming from a little kid and if I hadn't won them over to so speak with my show then they most likely wouldn't have felt comfortable asking me about it.

Q - When did you become deaf?
A - The day I got married. :)

Them - What's it like to be deaf?
Me -What was that?
Them - I said what is it like to be deaf?
Me - I'm sorry I didn't catch that. One more time?
Them - I SAID WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE DEAF?
Me - Kind of annoying isn't it.. :)

Q - Where you born deaf?
A - I don't know I wasn't paying attention that day.

Sometimes in my shows I teach the audience how to applaud like deaf people do (Wave fingers in the air). After they applaud like that after a trick I tell them about the time I walked into a bar and everyone stood up "deaf applauding". I thought it was great and was getting ready to sign autographs. That is until the guy next to me bumped me with his elbow and said, "PUT YOUR HANDS UP YOU IDIOT. WE'RE BEING ROBBED!!!" :-o

Ron Jaxon
Click to expand...

:laugh2: at the bolded text.

I also like to make fun of my blindness. When I used to have a guide dog named Sugar, one of my jokes was "What do you call me without my guide dog?" (Answer: "Sugar-free")

One of my best friends who is legally blind used to teach me about the importance of having a good sense of humor. One day in high school someone asked her, "Why are you looking so closely at that book?" She replied "Because my eyes are taking an early retirement."

You gotta love a healthy sense of humor! :lol:
 
One from a "hearie".....


Three men- a Cuban, a Russian, and a Deaf American meet on a train. The Cuban takes out a fine, fresh Havana cigar, lights it up, takes a few leisurely puffs, and tosses the unfinished cigar out the window. He explains, "We have so many cigars in Cuba, we can afford to waste them." The Russian then takes out a new bottle of fine native vodka, pours himself a shot, then casually tosses the nearly-full bottle out the window. "We have so much vodka in Russia, we can afford to waste it," he says. Then the Deaf man picks up his sign language interpreter and tosses him out the window: "We have so many hearing people in America, we can afford to waste them."

I too love a sense of humor.
 
LOL AbbyMeyer. I must admit I've never heard that one before.

Here's a couple more that I've done.

One time I was bowling in a bowling league and the lights went out for a few seconds because of a storm. When the lights went out I yelled out. "HEY, I CAN'T HEAR A THING IN HERE!". When the lights came back on I could see quite a few people laughing.

Here's another one I do quite often. Click this link to see the video (Video is low quality and very short).
Click here to see short video.

I use this in my shows sometimes but I usually use it when someone tries to whisper in my ear. I obviously can't hear them when they do that because I lip read. So while they are whispering I set up to perform what they see in that video. If they know me they'll realize that they whispered in a deaf persons ear. :) If they don't know I'm deaf it's a great time to tell them while they are laughing.

Hey, maybe there is a need for a book on this kind of thing. I'm not worried about making money from it or anything. Maybe all proceedings can go to a charity or something. Just a thought.

Ron Jaxon
 
Ron, I think what you do is wonderful too. We all can use more humor in our life.

Lipreading:

Suppose a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
You and I need to clean this place up,
Your stuff is lying all over on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear tomorrow
unless we do the laundry right now!"

Her lipreading husband will get:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!
 
AbbyMeyer - good one. LOL

Me (Deaf): (See girlfriend get off phone and she's upset) "What's wrong?"
Her (hearing): The phone company is driving me nuts.
Me: What's the number. I'll take care of it. :)

Want to know the best part of being deaf? I have sex with the lights on so I can see her moan.

Here's another true story. I sometimes go out to a bar and play pool. From time to time they'll take up a collection for the jukebox to play music. A few times they came to me and where about to ask if I want to donate a dollar for the joke box. But those who know me stop themselves when they realize that they where about to ask a deaf person to contribute to playing music. They give me the "Oops, what was a thinking look". Well one time this happened and the guy didn't know I was deaf. So I played along and just as I was about to hand him a dollar I said, "But you have to play some polka music". The guy gave me a funny look and other people started laughing. :)

No I'm not DEATH! (Funny when they say death instead of deaf) :)
 
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