UGh...another boy problem with my hearing friend and me.

coolgirlspyer90

coolgirlspyer90

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Okay...soo... I have 2 friends that i introduced to each other on text. One is my guy friend whose name is Brandon, and he is completely deaf, with no HA or CI and only signs and doesn't speak. And then my other friend name Katie (not the past katie who i had problems with, this is a different katie.), who is hearing and i'm always telling her that i'm talking to Brandon on text and she wanted me to introduce her to him. I told her that he was deaf, and she said she didn't care because she had me as a deaf friend and is happy to meet another one.

SO, I introduced Katie and Brandon to each other on text, Brandon also wanted to know Katie, And then well, Brandon started to: "like, Like" Katie, And Katie might like him but not so sure yet. But then after awhile Katie has been telling me that He and Her have been texting almost every day until 1 in the morning. If Katie texts him he would suddenly text her back right away.

But then a problem came up between him and katie. Brandon wanted to invite me and Katie to the SRSD (St.Rita's School For The Deaf which is in cincy,Ohio) Festival, I couldn't go at the time because My dad and I were busy doing chores for band, and selling band calendars for our neighborhood. So then I told Katie why i couldn't go. I told her i was really sorry and that I really did want to go because i have not seen my deaf friends at SRSD that i used to go to school there. Katie told me that it was going to be really awkward without me there because I'm always interpreting for my deaf friends and hearing friends in case they don't know how to communicate with each other. Because I can speak and Sign at the same time. I told her that she can use a notpad to communicate, as that has happen alot with us deafies while communicating with hearing. Brandon also understood why i couldn't go too.

Then the day before Brandon and Katie was going to the festival at SRSD, I was at beavercreek with my mom and my sister, going to watch a movie called: "ghost of girlfriend's past", I had my cellphone in my pocket. And i always keep my phone on vibrate because the ringtone is really hard for me to hear and is not worth it. So my phone vibrated during the movie. I decided to check my phone later after the movie was done. When the movie was done i got a text from Brandon saying that he was pissed because Katie couldn't go to the festival with him. Then i replied saying: "Well maybe something came up." And he was still mad about it. I asked katie what was up. and she said she had a family thing to do. I understood. And Katie tried texting brandon, but he didn't reply, which was unusal of him because he always text katie right back after she texts him. I told him to stop being mad at her and that if he was going to keep acting like this, I don't really want to talk to him.

At the time he was basically acting like a 5 year old not getting what he wants. Katie and I agreed that we shouldn't text him for awhile until he cools down and grows up a little bit until he says hes sorry to katie.

I don't really know what else to do. Is there any advice that you could give me?
 
My advice is to stay out and let them work it out themselves. I have learned the hard way that getting in the middle just brings in more drama. Be their friend with the understanding that they have to figure this one out themselves.

I used to be in the middle between my brother and my good friend when they started dating and then had problems. I learned my lesson from that so never again. I tell whoever is having problems that they are on their own to figure things out and to leave me out. I would listen any venting but stay nuetral.

Just from my experience. :)


They need to learn to figure this out themselves so they can grow from their mistakes. Otherwise, they will just never learn.
 
shel90 said:
My advice is to stay out and let them work it out themselves. I have learned the hard way that getting in the middle just brings in more drama. Be their friend with the understanding that they have to figure this one out themselves.

I used to be in the middle between my brother and my good friend when they started dating and then had problems. I learned my lesson from that so never again. I tell whoever is having problems that they are on their own to figure things out and to leave me out. I would listen any venting but stay nuetral.

Just from my experience. :)


They need to learn to figure this out themselves so they can grow from their mistakes. Otherwise, they will just never learn.
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Thats what i said to Brandon basically. I told him to just don't text me about these kind of stuff and to resolve this whole situation with Katie. And I told katie about that too. But I guess Brandon didn't really listen to me.
 
coolgirlspyer90 said:
Thats what i said to Brandon basically. I told him to just don't text me about these kind of stuff and to resolve this whole situation with Katie. And I told katie about that too. But I guess Brandon didn't really listen to me.
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U can listen to him but if he tells you to act on his behalf, that's where u can draw the line.

These kinds of things are always so tough cuz we care about our friends and want to help but sometimes helping ends up making things more complicated and could create friction in the friendship.

It happens to adults too! LOL!
 
Give them some time.
I am sure by a week or maybe one months tops depending on how often they can see each other, they will both forget this. Unless Brandon is really bent at holding a grudge.

Brandon came to you because he saw you as an opportunity to explain his situation, with you as a friend of him and Katie's. Since he felt flabbergasted for getting flaked out right before the event. He felt that Katie lied and did not actually have family events or was avoiding him, which none of us actually know the truth.

So, just wait and see what happens a week from now. Maybe Katie might make it up to him.

You don't need to do anything except be timely with your responses to both of them if they request anything from you, or else your friendship will be at stake too.
 
naisho said:
Give them some time.
I am sure by a week or maybe one months tops depending on how often they can see each other, they will both forget this. Unless Brandon is really bent at holding a grudge.

Brandon came to you because he saw you as an opportunity to explain his situation, with you as a friend of him and Katie's. Since he felt flabbergasted for getting flaked out right before the event. He felt that Katie lied and did not actually have family events or was avoiding him, which none of us actually know the truth.

So, just wait and see what happens a week from now. Maybe Katie might make it up to him.

You don't need to do anything except be timely with your responses to both of them if they request anything from you, or else your friendship will be at stake too.
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Well Katie did have some family stuff. She's been having problems with her family lately. And They only met by text, not in person. They have seen each other's picture on facebook and they always IM or Text to each other until 1 in the morning. Katie didn't lie at all. I understood she had a family thing to go to because she has been telling me about these things with her family.

I told katie to give him some time, and i told her to try and just resolve the situation. But yesterday Brandon has been acting really weird texting Katie yesterday. I'm not going to say what he said. It's pretty inappropriate. And when Katie told me what he texted her i thought it was disgusting. So then katie texted brandon back saying: "hey..are you okay?? you're acting really weird." and Brandon said: "me? really?" and she texted him back but then brandon never texted her back at all...

I actually feel kind of bad for introducing them to each other because brandon is deaf but katie is hearing. My mom has always told me that introducing my hearing and deaf friends to each other is an advantage because some deaf people can't talk and hear without HA or CI and can only sign when hearing doesn't know sign and can talk and hear. And i'm in the middle of the deaf and hearing world and my mom thinks i'll pay more attention to my hearing friends while i have a deaf friend with me. And that's not true. My mom knows i don't treat my friends like that.

I'm trying as much as i can to be fair to both hearing and deaf friends.
 
coolgirlspyer90 said:
Okay...soo... I have 2 friends that i introduced to each other on text. One is my guy friend whose name is Brandon, and he is completely deaf, with no HA or CI and only signs and doesn't speak. And then my other friend name Katie (not the past katie who i had problems with, this is a different katie.), who is hearing and i'm always telling her that i'm talking to Brandon on text and she wanted me to introduce her to him. I told her that he was deaf, and she said she didn't care because she had me as a deaf friend and is happy to meet another one.

SO, I introduced Katie and Brandon to each other on text, Brandon also wanted to know Katie, And then well, Brandon started to: "like, Like" Katie, And Katie might like him but not so sure yet. But then after awhile Katie has been telling me that He and Her have been texting almost every day until 1 in the morning. If Katie texts him he would suddenly text her back right away.

But then a problem came up between him and katie. Brandon wanted to invite me and Katie to the SRSD (St.Rita's School For The Deaf which is in cincy,Ohio) Festival, I couldn't go at the time because My dad and I were busy doing chores for band, and selling band calendars for our neighborhood. So then I told Katie why i couldn't go. I told her i was really sorry and that I really did want to go because i have not seen my deaf friends at SRSD that i used to go to school there. Katie told me that it was going to be really awkward without me there because I'm always interpreting for my deaf friends and hearing friends in case they don't know how to communicate with each other. Because I can speak and Sign at the same time. I told her that she can use a notpad to communicate, as that has happen alot with us deafies while communicating with hearing. Brandon also understood why i couldn't go too.

Then the day before Brandon and Katie was going to the festival at SRSD, I was at beavercreek with my mom and my sister, going to watch a movie called: "ghost of girlfriend's past", I had my cellphone in my pocket. And i always keep my phone on vibrate because the ringtone is really hard for me to hear and is not worth it. So my phone vibrated during the movie. I decided to check my phone later after the movie was done. When the movie was done i got a text from Brandon saying that he was pissed because Katie couldn't go to the festival with him. Then i replied saying: "Well maybe something came up." And he was still mad about it. I asked katie what was up. and she said she had a family thing to do. I understood. And Katie tried texting brandon, but he didn't reply, which was unusal of him because he always text katie right back after she texts him. I told him to stop being mad at her and that if he was going to keep acting like this, I don't really want to talk to him.

At the time he was basically acting like a 5 year old not getting what he wants. Katie and I agreed that we shouldn't text him for awhile until he cools down and grows up a little bit until he says hes sorry to katie.

I don't really know what else to do. Is there any advice that you could give me?
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I think you handle the whole thing very good on your own! I would let Brandon and Katie work it out on their own! It can get messy being the middle of things! And I would let Katie learn how to communicate with Brandon without your help! That is their problem not your! You're are much more grown up than the the two!
 
Oh wow, Brandon has never met Katie in person? Ok, then that might be a totally different story!
 
Hm, I agree with the above posters. As hard as it is, it's still a good idea to let them work it out themselves.

As always, IM and texting are an amazing way to connect with peers and socialize with them, but they can't quite replace the face-to-face interaction that new friendships take place in. From what I know so far, it seems like Brandon was quite excited to go to the event with you and katie. When he faced the reality of being alone in a big event, he probably assumed the worst, that he was betrayed (which was not true) and felt bad about the whole thing, therefore acted the way he did to the two of you.

I'd give him time and space to sort this out himself.

Just my 2 cents. I hope it works out for the three of ya.
 
naisho said:
Oh wow, Brandon has never met Katie in person? Ok, then that might be a totally different story!
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ya, they both wanted me to introduce to them to each other on text they have seen pictures of each other on facebook. They just never met each other in person. So thats why Brandon got mad, because he wanted to meet katie in person. Brandon was going to pick me and Katie up from our houses to go to the festival. I had plans to do for band, and Katie had a family thing to do. And she was also awkward without me being there to hang out with brandon and her because they havent met in person/
 
coolgirlspyer90 said:
Okay...soo... I have 2 friends that i introduced to each other on text. One is my guy friend whose name is Brandon, and he is completely deaf, with no HA or CI and only signs and doesn't speak. And then my other friend name Katie (not the past katie who i had problems with, this is a different katie.), who is hearing and i'm always telling her that i'm talking to Brandon on text and she wanted me to introduce her to him. I told her that he was deaf, and she said she didn't care because she had me as a deaf friend and is happy to meet another one.

SO, I introduced Katie and Brandon to each other on text, Brandon also wanted to know Katie, And then well, Brandon started to: "like, Like" Katie, And Katie might like him but not so sure yet. But then after awhile Katie has been telling me that He and Her have been texting almost every day until 1 in the morning. If Katie texts him he would suddenly text her back right away.

But then a problem came up between him and katie. Brandon wanted to invite me and Katie to the SRSD (St.Rita's School For The Deaf which is in cincy,Ohio) Festival, I couldn't go at the time because My dad and I were busy doing chores for band, and selling band calendars for our neighborhood. So then I told Katie why i couldn't go. I told her i was really sorry and that I really did want to go because i have not seen my deaf friends at SRSD that i used to go to school there. Katie told me that it was going to be really awkward without me there because I'm always interpreting for my deaf friends and hearing friends in case they don't know how to communicate with each other. Because I can speak and Sign at the same time. I told her that she can use a notpad to communicate, as that has happen alot with us deafies while communicating with hearing. Brandon also understood why i couldn't go too.

Then the day before Brandon and Katie was going to the festival at SRSD, I was at beavercreek with my mom and my sister, going to watch a movie called: "ghost of girlfriend's past", I had my cellphone in my pocket. And i always keep my phone on vibrate because the ringtone is really hard for me to hear and is not worth it. So my phone vibrated during the movie. I decided to check my phone later after the movie was done. When the movie was done i got a text from Brandon saying that he was pissed because Katie couldn't go to the festival with him. Then i replied saying: "Well maybe something came up." And he was still mad about it. I asked katie what was up. and she said she had a family thing to do. I understood. And Katie tried texting brandon, but he didn't reply, which was unusal of him because he always text katie right back after she texts him. I told him to stop being mad at her and that if he was going to keep acting like this, I don't really want to talk to him.

At the time he was basically acting like a 5 year old not getting what he wants. Katie and I agreed that we shouldn't text him for awhile until he cools down and grows up a little bit until he says hes sorry to katie.

I don't really know what else to do. Is there any advice that you could give me?
Click to expand...

no advice is needed. You already gave one that we all would do.
 
I might have to come, in Brandon's behalf...

Okay, I agree that Katie and him should handle it by themselves, and to stay out of it. However, as a man, I think Brandon's emotions got a little carried away. They texted most of the time and he felt it was a real (maybe deep) connection. Maybe he had plans to meet her for the very first time (in person) and maybe start a deeper connection. However, close to the last minute all the plans went upside down. His heart might have been hurt? Sure, I would act salty (upset) at the whole situation.... but I agree, Brandon might have to get over it and regroup. Hope he didn't already ruin the relationship. Their will be another chance later in the future.

Hope they get through this situation and move on...

Quiet 1
 
Ok, an update so far with my friend Katie, Katie texted Brandon like around 10:00ish. I asked her if Brandon said sorry for his behavior. He hasn't apologized yet. I think he needs to though. Because one) He got mad at Katie when something came up with her family and been acting like a little kid about it and 2) he said an inappropriate text back to katie when she asked him if he was okay.

So far that makes me not want to text brandon for a little bit. I mean he shouldn't have to treat Katie that way. I understand that he was upset with the situation that katie couldn't hang out with him for the first time, in person. But acting like that is no way to act like that in front of a girl. He has been really weird lately. I don't know why. But all i know is that he shouldnt treat my friend like that.
 
Okay, but by not talking to him you are siding with Katie. I agree that she is your friend and he was wrong to treat for like he did. But he was agree and isn't thinking straight. What I wouldn't say to do is not talk to him. You have to be the ear for both of them. They are both seeking your advice. Say out of it and have them solve it together....

See what happens.
 
I do act like that few times when someone promised then sudden they say no. Like drove to cabin 250 miles to found no one was there I held my angry that day try not blame Uncle.

But most time I would say why ok that fine.


That guy sound he have NO PATIENT with anyone who try explain to him.
 
I am not sure what Brandon is thinking when Katie did not show up to meet him because of her family situation. I think Brandon felt that he was rejected by Katie and was stood up, so maybe he was mad to find that Katie was rejecting him. I had that problem when I was in high school and I was supposed to go to the prom with my Deaf boyfriend. His mother called my mother to say that my boyfriend can not take me to the prom because he did not have a suit or tux. I had bought a gown, pump shoes, got my hair fix and I was ready to go until my mother told me that my boyfriend can not come. I was mad like the Devil. I was sooo disappointed and upset about all the preparatiogn for me to go to my first prom. I refused to go to the prom without a date. I have never felt so rejected just because his mother had the nerve to say that her son can not go to the prom with me. I broke up with my boyfriend. It can be a real bummer if feeling reject and not be able to say I am sorry to Katie. I think for Brandon, it is already destroying the relationship between them and probably the friendship with you, coolgirlspyer90. Like Milwaukee said, "That guy sound he have NO PATIENT with anyone who try explain to him". :roll:
 
MoonDrifter said:
hm, have they met in person yet and actually talked it out?
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not quite... I thnk they have talked on text but not actually resolved it yet. Katie is a little bit mad at brandon... idk why. She says that she's probably not going to met in person..oh boy
 
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