Two HoH/Deaf people having children

eirlys

eirlys

Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2012
Messages
345
Reaction score
0
I mean no offense, I'm just curious about how people can/would/did handle this topic.

My boyfriend and I were discussing children the other day. We are both very HoH. His is SNHL and mine is conductive hearing loss. Both conditions are hereditary. Naturally it came up that we could have children with hearing loss and quickly decided that it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Neither of us have ever had any serious issues with life. We just have to adapt some situations to make them work for us. My mom feels otherwise and is somewhat disapproving. I know other folks would be as well.

Would you forgo having children if there was a more than normal chance they would be born with hearing loss? How would you combat or respond to the people that frown upon either decision?
 
eirlys said:
I mean no offense, I'm just curious about how people can/would/did handle this topic.

My boyfriend and I were discussing children the other day. We are both very HoH. His is SNHL and mine is conductive hearing loss. Both conditions are hereditary. Naturally it came up that we could have children with hearing loss and quickly decided that it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Neither of us have ever had any serious issues with life. We just have to adapt some situations to make them work for us. My mom feels otherwise and is somewhat disapproving. I know other folks would be as well.

Would you forgo having children if there was a more than normal chance they would be born with hearing loss? How would you combat or respond to the people that frown upon either decision?
Click to expand...

The decision is for the both of you. You cannot please every one. And if others frown about it, that's their problem. If you have the ability to love a child regardless, then that's all it counts.
 
When hubby and I decided to get married, we knew that there were multiple possibilities for our future children.
1. hearing loss (I have SNHL and am now total deaf)
2. vision loss or sever vision problems (history in hubby's family)
3. extreme height (both sides)
4. diabetes (hubby's side)

We have 2 children.

Daughter has SNHL, mild loss, speech recognition problems, ADD, dyscalculia, CAPD, borderline mild autism spectrum disorder, and memory retention issues.

Son has SNHL, moderate/severe loss, severe astigmatism, pale pigment to the eyes, and memory retention issues.

We had no problems deciding to have children and are very blessed with the 2 we have. Daughter will be 18 in ten days and son will be 17 in May.
 
KristinaB said:
When hubby and I decided to get married, we knew that there were multiple possibilities for our future children.
1. hearing loss (I have SNHL and am now total deaf)
2. vision loss or sever vision problems (history in hubby's family)
3. extreme height (both sides)
4. diabetes (hubby's side)

We have 2 children.

Daughter has SNHL, mild loss, speech recognition problems, ADD, dyscalculia, CAPD, borderline mild autism spectrum disorder, and memory retention issues.

Son has SNHL, moderate/severe loss, severe astigmatism, pale pigment to the eyes, and memory retention issues.

We had no problems deciding to have children and are very blessed with the 2 we have. Daughter will be 18 in ten days and son will be 17 in May.
Click to expand...

Children are blessings to be loved. IMHO, parental love should be unconditional and I would feel the same way.
 
kokonut said:
The decision is for the both of you. You cannot please every one. And if others frown about it, that's their problem. If you have the ability to love a child regardless, then that's all it counts.
Click to expand...

Thank you for that. It was just speculation. I'm only 31 and still have too many toys to play with and fun things to do, so I'm not old enough yet ;). It did however hurt that people would be so frowny over it.
 
eirlys said:
Would you forgo having children if there was a more than normal chance they would be born with hearing loss?
Click to expand...
yup. wouldn't give a second thought about it.

eirlys said:
How would you combat or respond to the people that frown upon either decision?
Click to expand...
I'll just :) because if they're frowning upon our decision, it's usually because they're unhappy with their marriage or frustrated with not finding Mr/Mrs. Right :giggle:

and beside - in my case, I don't really have any friends who would frown upon it.
 
eirlys said:
Thank you for that. It was just speculation. I'm only 31 and still have too many toys to play with and fun things to do, so I'm not old enough yet ;). It did however hurt that people would be so frowny over it.
Click to expand...

My wife has hereditary deafness, and we wanted to start a family, deaf or not. My 20 year old son was born with multiple issues similar to Kristina's daughter, and my 14 year old daughter does not have any issues other than the usual shy teenage girl issues. Neither has any kind of hearing issue.

There will always be people critical of what you want to do....do whatever you want.

p.s. I would not wait too long, as it is much, much harder to raise kids when you are older than 30....and you will be a really old fart by the time they move out...:D
 
green427 said:
p.s. I would not wait too long, as it is much, much harder to raise kids when you are older than 30....and you will be a really old fart by the time they move out...:D
Click to expand...

You may be right. By the time they move out, I would be too old to start playing with toys again. 60 year old gamer girl. Scary thought there and the kids would either think I was an awesome parent or a supremely embarrassing one. I could pull it off.
 
I wouldn't forgo it, but I wouldn't be all happy about it either. Personally, I'd hope my child wouldn't have such a hard life.

Roll the dice and take the chance because that is what life is all about.
 
MHO, hearing loss is one of the milder issues you can deal with. Look at it this way....you could start a new line of Deaf kids......I know some HOH adults with herditary hearing loss. Traiditionally HOH kids have been REALLY mainstreamed...and that includes herdititary HOH folks. ...but I have noticed a few people who are herditary HOH having dhh kids, and they send them to deaf schools and learn ASL through them.
 
green427 said:
p.s. I would not wait too long, as it is much, much harder to raise kids when you are older than 30....and you will be a really old fart by the time they move out...:D
Click to expand...
. Hey, watch what you say about us old farts. :D. I had my kids at 34 & 38. Not that I waited, just how it turned out.
 
eirlys said:
You may be right. By the time they move out, I would be too old to start playing with toys again. 60 year old gamer girl. Scary thought there and the kids would either think I was an awesome parent or a supremely embarrassing one. I could pull it off.
Click to expand...

What? I shouldn't be playing with my iPod? I'm too old for that? :D
And embarrassing the kids is in the job description for parenting, so don't worry about that. :lol: At least that's what I always told my kids.
 
eirlys said:
Would you forgo having children if there was a more than normal chance they would be born with hearing loss? How would you combat or respond to the people that frown upon either decision?
Click to expand...

Jiro said:
yup. wouldn't give a second thought about it.
Click to expand...

:shock: I wouldn't forgo having children, I love kids and it wouldn't matter to me if they were deaf or not.....I would still want them
 
Never too old if you're young at heart....I have 3 rowdy boys (adopted), and I'm 65....:shock:...(can't believe it myself! :giggle:)....always wanted to adopt a deaf little girl, but the boys take up too much of my time, but I'm never saying never.
 
LoveBlue said:
What? I shouldn't be playing with my iPod? I'm too old for that? :D
And embarrassing the kids is in the job description for parenting, so don't worry about that. :lol: At least that's what I always told my kids.
Click to expand...

Lol. You are never too old to play with toys haha.

My parents still enjoy trying to embarrass me on a daily basis (Well, yearly since I moved across the country). I can't take my dad out because his sauve, cultured, handsome self will do something completely uncouth and disgusting just to make me retreat under the table so I can hide my face.
 
eirlys said:
I mean no offense, I'm just curious about how people can/would/did handle this topic.

Would you forgo having children if there was a more than normal chance they would be born with hearing loss? How would you combat or respond to the people that frown upon either decision?
Click to expand...

No, I would not forego having children. We have seven, two adopted, and one of the girls we adopted has multiple and severe disabilities that are far more involved than deafness.
It's nobody else's business, and I would probably be quite rude to anybody who suggested otherwise.
 
Last edited:
I wouldn't hesitate. I'm hearing, so I might feel a little outnumbered in my house if everyone was deaf but me, but if we wanted kids, that wouldn't cause me to pause.

I have a friend with PKU, a metabolic disorder where you cannot process protein so she can't eat any foods with protein. No meat, soy, beans, peas, nothing. She is pregnant now, and there is a good chance her kid will have PKU too. Her perspective? If the kid has it, isn't her family the perfect place for it to grow up? She already understands the condition, diet, etc.

So if a kid is going to be born d/hh, your home sounds like a great place for it to grow up!
 
LoveBlue said:
. Hey, watch what you say about us old farts. :D. I had my kids at 34 & 38. Not that I waited, just how it turned out.
Click to expand...

:lol:

My co-worker started his family at 47 years old. His wife was 37, and this was 11 years ago. He is always making comments about "I should have done this a long time ago".

I am 47 myself and can't wait to retire and get away from everyone.
 
green427 said:
:lol:

My co-worker started his family at 47 years old. His wife was 37, and this was 11 years ago. He is always making comments about "I should have done this a long time ago".

I am 47 myself and can't wait to retire and get away from everyone.
Click to expand...

:giggle:...you'll never get away from the family or the kids! Only if you disappear, become a "missing person" :giggle:

With today's economy, more and more kids are still living at home, some even moving back in, even families living together (slblings)....There's no escape, inasmuch as at times, I wish there was. By the time I do get some peace & quiet, the old rocking chair will have rotted by then....Still getting calls from my oldest (age 20)...."come get me! I can't take this anymore"...(fussing with g/f)...

Bit wishful thinking at times.
 
Back
Top