Things Not to Say to a Cop

[ladysolitary85]

Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: Yea, the same speed you were going when you pulled me over.

Cop: You want a ticket:
Me: Yea, if it includes travel and hotel.

Cop: Can you stand on your right leg and count to ten backwards?
Me: Yea, if you let me keep the hundred pound weight in my left pocket.

Cop: Can I search your vehicle?
Me: Yea, if you promise not to disturb the lady sleeping in my trunk.

Cop: You wanna go to jail?
Me: Yea, if you promise to set the alarm for 6 because I gotta be at work by 7.

 

[Babyblue]

Officer..... Would you like a drink?? *attempts to hand him/her the beer*

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I knew a guy that was going out his driving license and during the road test the cop asked the guy "what does the yellow light mean ?' And the guy said " It mean go like Hell!"

 

[PowerON]

Sound familiar, it might come from MAD magazine.

 

[Babyblue]

Officer, Hold my beer for me while I get my DL out of my wallet.

 

[authentic]

Famous Russian saying; check my driver license book. *$20 inside*

 

[Grummer]

say I luv babes in uniform, if i give you my address, can i have yours?

 

[ladysolitary85]

say I luv babes in uniform, if i give you my address, can i have yours?

Now what if it was a guy cop? hmm?

 

[authentic]

"Nice halloween costume!"

 

[Smithtr]

police ask to what you smell on!

guy said nothing!

Police caught know guy embrassment and fool!