The girl can't "listen"...

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girlingrey

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So, cleaning the break room today at work. Another employee sits down, begins eating, whatever. We're the only two in the room, and he kinda starts a conversation about who's working today, whatever. I'm not wearing my hearing aids, because they amplify everything, which isn't good when I'm trying to speak two feet away but hearing the guy two registers away exchanging casualties with a cashier. So I'm cleaning, looking up as I go so I can lipread to support what I can understand. After asking him to repeat, and explaining that I'm not wearing my hearing aids, he goes "Well, I guess I can't talk to you, if you can't listen..". I looked at him and basically gav him a "Whatever" face before leaving.
What should I have done, short of sitting down and passive aggressively explaining hearing loss? (Mind you, I was literally about 30 seconds from the end of my shift, so..)
 
girlingrey said:
So, cleaning the break room today at work. Another employee sits down, begins eating, whatever. We're the only two in the room, and he kinda starts a conversation about who's working today, whatever. I'm not wearing my hearing aids, because they amplify everything, which isn't good when I'm trying to speak two feet away but hearing the guy two registers away exchanging casualties with a cashier. So I'm cleaning, looking up as I go so I can lipread to support what I can understand. After asking him to repeat, and explaining that I'm not wearing my hearing aids, he goes "Well, I guess I can't talk to you, if you can't listen..". I looked at him and basically gav him a "Whatever" face before leaving.
What should I have done, short of sitting down and passive aggressively explaining hearing loss? (Mind you, I was literally about 30 seconds from the end of my shift, so..)
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I have a notebook and pen all the time in case someone really wants to say something to me.

Just have him write it down.
 
I can see what you mean. It is kind of tiresome to explain to the hearing person that we can not listen, whether we have hearing aid or not. You might recognize some sound if you listen with familiar sounds that you are used to that has been repeated many times but often you might miss the sounds and that is because of the hearing aids or CI which does not make the hearing by listening. The hearing aid or CI just don't always work as much as you like to hear. As for working in the restaurant, it is good that you are not wearing the hearing aids as you are working sweating that make the hearing aid go dead or just not working at all. I always sweat when I am doing something physically busy cleaning or working out the yard. So I don't wear hearing aid unless I want to wear it as long as I am not working physically. As for the guy, he thinks that a person can listen with the device which is a crock as it is just a tool for us to hear sounds, not to listen at all. Like faire_jour, she thinks that CI can make her daughter hear with listening method. That is fine as long as her daughter can listen familiar words that she has heard many times with the sounds but often time she will miss the sounds of the words too. So it is hard to listen when you don't have a normal hearing. That is sad that a lot of hearing people don't understand the concept of the hearing loss. You are not alone, and I have tried many times to explain to hearing people that I can not listen unless if I can hear some familiar word many times. That is why hearing people don't get it. Like Botts, maybe you can hand him the paper and pen and write it down for you, so that you can understand what he is saying. I feel for you. :hug:
 
the guy was a rude moron who I doubt very much would have been willing to write anything down. You could have told him that you are always willing to put your aids back in if you think the speaker has something intelligent to say. Then just stand there and stare at him.:eek3:
 
From my CHS lessons on coping with Hearing Loss-assert the fact you can't hear right now- and stop whatever. Assertive vs withdrawal? Hopeful your fellow employees know the fact that you have a Hearing Loss.

Implant-Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07
 
Bebonang said:
I can see what you mean. It is kind of tiresome to explain to the hearing person that we can not listen, whether we have hearing aid or not. You might recognize some sound if you listen with familiar sounds that you are used to that has been repeated many times but often you might miss the sounds and that is because of the hearing aids or CI which does not make the hearing by listening. The hearing aid or CI just don't always work as much as you like to hear. As for working in the restaurant, it is good that you are not wearing the hearing aids as you are working sweating that make the hearing aid go dead or just not working at all. I always sweat when I am doing something physically busy cleaning or working out the yard. So I don't wear hearing aid unless I want to wear it as long as I am not working physically. As for the guy, he thinks that a person can listen with the device which is a crock as it is just a tool for us to hear sounds, not to listen at all. Like faire_jour, she thinks that CI can make her daughter hear with listening method. That is fine as long as her daughter can listen familiar words that she has heard many times with the sounds but often time she will miss the sounds of the words too. So it is hard to listen when you don't have a normal hearing. That is sad that a lot of hearing people don't understand the concept of the hearing loss. You are not alone, and I have tried many times to explain to hearing people that I can not listen unless if I can hear some familiar word many times. That is why hearing people don't get it. Like Botts, maybe you can hand him the paper and pen and write it down for you, so that you can understand what he is saying. I feel for you. :hug:
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Nope. My daughter can hear ALL sounds of speech and gets greater than 95% of speech correct without lipreading. BUT, this thread has nothing to do with us, so please don't bring up things you clearly know nothing about.
 
Bebonang said:
I can see what you mean. It is kind of tiresome to explain to the hearing person that we can not listen, whether we have hearing aid or not. You might recognize some sound if you listen with familiar sounds that you are used to that has been repeated many times but often you might miss the sounds and that is because of the hearing aids or CI which does not make the hearing by listening. The hearing aid or CI just don't always work as much as you like to hear. As for working in the restaurant, it is good that you are not wearing the hearing aids as you are working sweating that make the hearing aid go dead or just not working at all. I always sweat when I am doing something physically busy cleaning or working out the yard. So I don't wear hearing aid unless I want to wear it as long as I am not working physically. As for the guy, he thinks that a person can listen with the device which is a crock as it is just a tool for us to hear sounds, not to listen at all. Like faire_jour, she thinks that CI can make her daughter hear with listening method. That is fine as long as her daughter can listen familiar words that she has heard many times with the sounds but often time she will miss the sounds of the words too. So it is hard to listen when you don't have a normal hearing. That is sad that a lot of hearing people don't understand the concept of the hearing loss. You are not alone, and I have tried many times to explain to hearing people that I can not listen unless if I can hear some familiar word many times. That is why hearing people don't get it. Like Botts, maybe you can hand him the paper and pen and write it down for you, so that you can understand what he is saying. I feel for you. :hug:
Click to expand...

faire_jour said:


Nope. My daughter can hear ALL sounds of speech and gets greater than 95% of speech correct without lipreading. BUT, this thread has nothing to do with us, so please don't bring up things you clearly know nothing about.
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Ahh, I have to agree with FJ here. The CI is a wonderful device. It has it's drawbacks, but it IS superior to an HA; especially for children.

I don't mean to start a flame war here, but I think you are picking on FJ just a little bit. The statement you made was a clear attempt to derail this thread and "throw a bomb" at FJ just because you disagree with her. That statement has no place here. It also is no different than what that guy did to the OP. Making an assumption based on limited or no knowledge of deafness or the hearing devices the deaf or HoH may use.


Now back to the point of the thread. The idiot that made that statement to the OP should be written up. There's no excuse for such rudeness.
 
That guy in the rest room isn't worth bothering with. A lot of hearing people have no desire to understand what it is like being deaf.

On the other hand, I was working with someone this morning who, when I explained that I couldn't hear what she was saying because my HAs can't pick up speech over background noise, was very understanding and apologised to me, saying that she hadn't known about it before and would remember in future.
 
It really depends on the person and how much they understand about deafness and how empathitic of a person they are.
 
Thanks for the responses, guys.
It just drives me crazy. Rudeness is so uncalled for where I work- literally everyone I work with is crazy nice. Once they find out I'm hoh, they speak up/will let me know if someone's calling for me. This guy works in the back, where they keep those who have no social skills, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprized.
My totd always emphasized assertiveness and whatever, I think I had just had enough. I doubt he would've understood the concept of hearing vs. listening, though. Argh.

On what I hope will become an unrelated note:
No attacking, please, even mildly. Just because you disagree with someone doesn't mean digs need to be made at any given opportunity.

Thanks again. :ty:
 
Don't forget that Bebonang is born deaf. She has a different and important life experience. She is an awesome lady. I think imho that she was merely using a familiar example, even if a bit biased. She has been Deaf her entire life, attended Deaf schools, is a member of the Deaf culture and her opinions should be respected.

Now, back to topic, forgive an old woman's (my own) opinion - that guy was a complete jerk. Don't let his views drag you down. His views are that of a person who does not know about any form of hearing loss and he may even be proud of his ignorance. You are not wrong to feel offended, but his views are certainly not the definition of the person you are.

Be proud of who you are and you are free to pity those who are not so well informed. (ha)
 
His problem not yours.

I get this on every time I am at work and I let it go over my head because I know I have support around me, if I needed them.
 
girlingrey said:
So, cleaning the break room today at work. Another employee sits down, begins eating, whatever. We're the only two in the room, and he kinda starts a conversation about who's working today, whatever. I'm not wearing my hearing aids, because they amplify everything, which isn't good when I'm trying to speak two feet away but hearing the guy two registers away exchanging casualties with a cashier. So I'm cleaning, looking up as I go so I can lipread to support what I can understand. After asking him to repeat, and explaining that I'm not wearing my hearing aids, he goes "Well, I guess I can't talk to you, if you can't listen..". I looked at him and basically gav him a "Whatever" face before leaving.
What should I have done, short of sitting down and passive aggressively explaining hearing loss? (Mind you, I was literally about 30 seconds from the end of my shift, so..)
Click to expand...
If wearing an HA is not comfortable in such a situation, then maybe you don't have the one most suited to your needs and perhaps ought to see an audiologist on it.
 
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